Emily intended to enjoy every minute of it.
Chapter Four
Walking through St James Park alone was a welcome relief from the crush of last evening. Emily allowed herself to breathe deeply, wanting to spread her arms wide in order to take in the fresh air, the clouds, the sky and the beautiful sunshine. She had attended her first ball of the Season only last night, having been invited by Lord Churston, whom she remembered from her first Season. It had taken Emily some time to consider whether or not she would accept, but in the end, she had done so. The ball had been filled with guests and she had, for the most part, had an enjoyable evening. She had not danced with anyone, however, even though one or two gentlemen had asked. She had seen the look on their faces. They had wanted her to dance simply for the notoriety of dancing with Lady Smithton. It would simply be another way to feed the gossip that was swirling all around London about her.
Emily sighed to herself and tried to push such thoughts from her mind. How different it was now that she was free to behave and to act as she pleased! She was able to speak to those she wished to speak to, to refrain from those she disliked. She could choose whether she wanted to dance or if she should stay away from the dance floor. No-one could tell her what to do.
Of course, there had been a good many questions from those about her as to her current standing in society. It had come as something of a surprise to discover that the new Lord Smithton – a gentle, older man that was a distant relation of her late husband – was willing to not only give her back the sum of her dowry but also to bequeath her a small townhouse in London. She had been permitted to spend her mourning year at the estate and her marital home, before moving to London, and it was this that had surprised many people. Apparently, many had thought that she would now be seeking a new situation with a new husband, so that her current position in life, along with all the good things that came with having substantial wealth, could be continued. Emily had quashed that idea repeatedly, although she had never gone into detail about why she was now able to live with such independence. The ton did not need to know such a thing. All that was required for their understanding was to know that she was a lady of independent means who had no intention of giving up her freedom in order to remarry, no matter who it was that proposed.
“My goodness, is that…?”
Tugged from her thoughts by the sound, Emily arched one eyebrow and looked directly at the two young ladies who were whispering much too loudly if they did not want to be overheard. A sigh escaped from her as she did so, finding herself rather wearied by the young ladies’ interest and lack of decorum. It was not as though she were not becoming quite used to this sort of thing, given that practically everywhere she went, her presence was noticed. Lady Blakely had done precisely as Emily had expected and had spread the gossip all through London. Emily had overheard some snatches of what had been said, hearing that she had been a hard and cold lady, who had spoken cruelly to Lady Blakely and showed no sadness over the death of her husband. That only gave credence to the other rumor, which still lingered over Emily’s head. The rumor that her manner and behavior had been what had driven her husband to take his life.
Not that she was about to allow any such whisperings to go past unnoticed, however! Emily had decided that, instead of simply overhearing gentlemen and ladies commenting about her, she would turn to them and address them directly. It took a good deal of courage and assertiveness, but the first time she had done so, the gentleman who had been speaking had been so ashamed that he had backed away stammering apologies. It gave her the thought that she should continue to do so, in order to prove to the beau monde that she was not about to be trifled with.
“I do not think it is,” the second young lady said to the first. “Besides which, I –”
“Yes,” Emily interrupted, firmly, turning to face the two young ladies. “It is I, Lady Emily Smithton. That is, I am certain, to whom you are referring?” She arched one eyebrow and gave them both a stern glance, which immediately brought about the effect she had hoped.
The first young lady colored at once, her cheeks going a deep scarlet as she turned her head away. It was clear that she was struggling to find something to say, having not expected Emily to turn her head and speak to them about what they had been whispering. The second young lady, however, showed no such strong reaction. Her cheeks colored, yes, but she continued to regard Emily with rather obvious interest. Emily looked back at her directly taking her in. The young lady appeared to be a little older than the first, with a rather dull bonnet and certainly an obvious lack of manners!
“Is there something you wish to say to me?” Emily asked, growing a little irritated with the continued stare of the young lady, who should have been embarrassed enough to have, at the very least, made an apology! “I know that there is a rumor going around London about the passing of my husband but I can assure you that such rumors do not influence me in the slightest. I am also aware that Lady Blakely has decided that I am rude and cold in my manner and so has been speaking of such things to anyone who will listen. Nothing has affected me as yet. Therefore, you are welcome to tell whomever you wish that you have seen me and even spoken to me, if you wish it but pray, desist your gawping!” She arched a brow. “Not only it is unspeakably rude, it is entirely unladylike for two young ladies such as yourselves.”
This speech seemed to have affected the second young lady, for she did drop her gaze but, much to Emily’s surprise, stepped forward, bobbing into an awkward curtsy right in the middle of St. James’ Park. The first young lady did no such thing, hissing urgently at the second who took no notice of her. Emily, surprised, remained where she was, wondering what this young lady thought she was doing.
“I must apologize profusely for my rudeness, Lady Smithton,” said the creature before her, now stammering awkwardly. “I- I should not have been staring, nor whispering in such an improper manner, but it is only that I find myself rather in awe of you.”
Blinking in surprise, Emily regarded the young lady carefully, taking in her rather sharp features and realizing that she was, in fact, quite tall. The other girl had taken her leave of the first and was now sitting on a bench some yards away from Emily, her face turned away from them both. Emily shrugged inwardly, turning her attention back to the lady in front of her.
“Might I enquire as to your name?” she asked, seeing the color begin to fade from the young lady’s cheeks. “We have not exactly been introduced, although you appear to be well acquainted with me.”
“Forgive me,” the young lady said, quickly, lifting a hand and running it over her eyes. “You are correct to state that I have not been introduced to you.” A sharp laugh escaped her. “I am again proving my impropriety and my failings, am I not?” A quick glance was shot towards Emily, who merely stood waiting patiently for her to continue.
The lady cleared her throat. “You attended Lord Churston’s ball last evening and I was told then who you were. I will admit that I have heard the gossip and the whispers about you, Lady Smithton, but I have given them no consideration, I assure you.” Her eyes darted to Emily’s and, even though she was a little frustrated with the persistence of the young lady, Emily found herself a little concerned at the worry that was etched in the light blue eyes that looked back at her. She was also somewhat intrigued by what this lady meant by speaking to her in such a manner. Was she merely trying to begin an acquaintance? If so, she was going about in the most improper fashion.
“Your name, if you please,” she said again, although not unkindly.
“Oh, of course.” The young lady scraped into a curtsy again, clearly trying to make up for her previous exhibition of poor manners. “Do excuse me, Lady Smithton. I am Miss Emma Bavidge, daughter to Viscount Hawkridge.”
“I see,” Emily replied, looking at the young lady but finding no particular nudge in her mind as to who she might be. “I confess that I do not know your name nor that of your father’s, Miss Bavidge. Ought I to do so? I was only in Lo
ndon some two years ago but still that name does not come to me.”
Miss Bavidge dropped her head, a slow flush creeping up her cheeks. “You have not heard, I suppose,” she stated, her fingers twisting together in front of her. “I am a little surprised, for it has been on the lips of almost everyone I know.”
Emily frowned, her surprise and her interest growing. “I have only been in London for a fortnight or so, Miss Bavidge. I have not heard a good deal other than my own name being mentioned!” She gave Miss Bavidge a wry smile, feeling as though this young lady was, in fact, speaking the truth about how she had paid little regard to the gossip about Emily. “Pray, do tell me.”
Miss Bavidge looked about her helplessly. “Might we walk for a few minutes, Lady Smithton?” she asked, sounding a trifle uneasy. “It can be a heavy burden and walking does aid me somewhat.”
A little taken aback by the young woman’s quick and apparent distress, Emily nodded and turned to walk along the path again. “You need not fear that I will turn from you, Miss Bavidge,” she said, kindly. “Whatever it is that concerns you, it will not bring about my immediate judgement.”
The young lady flushed crimson, dropping her golden head. “You are very kind, my lady,” she murmured, falling into step beside Emily. “Not everyone is as kind as you, I fear. My father’s disgrace has become my own.”
Frowning at this, Emily shook her head with a quick understanding and sympathy for what Miss Bavidge spoke of. “If this is what has been troubling you, Miss Bavidge, then be assured that you may speak openly in the knowledge that I will not berate you nor think you shameful in any way. If your father’s disgrace is entirely his own doing, then I shall give you none of the blame nor consider your reputation stained beyond hope. Please.” She smiled at Miss Bavidge, who had lifted her head a little, seemingly encouraged. “Tell me all that has occurred.”
Miss Bavidge let out a long breath, set her shoulders and began to explain and Emily found herself listening intently, feeling as though she had come across someone who might one day, become a friend.
“My father, Viscount Hawkridge, has a penchant for gambling and the like,” Miss Bavidge began, regret in her voice. “I will not go into details but he was worried for his fortune due to his great many debts and came across something that he thought he might use to aid him with this trouble.” A dark expression flickered across her face. “In short, Lady Smithton, my father attempted to blackmail someone who held a greater position in society than he. This was discovered and revealed, and my father’s disgrace was made known.”
“And you, also, have been torn down with him,” Emily finished, seeing the wretched look on Miss Bavidge’s face. “Even though you had nothing whatsoever to do with the matter. Is that not correct?”
Miss Bavidge nodded, swallowing hard before she replied. “It is exactly as you say, Lady Smithton.”
Emily shook her head, her shoulders settling. “That is, I’m afraid, the woman’s lot. We are often thrown together with our husbands, brothers or fathers, to the point that their behavior and their rather foolish choices smear us with their own disgrace. It seems quite unfair; do you not think?”
The young lady looked up sharply. “Yes,” she said at once, nodding fervently. “Yes, indeed I do. I have a few very dear friends and they treat me very well, I am glad to say.”
“Good,” Emily said, firmly, wondering to herself if the only reason this young lady had come to speak to her was simply so that she might find herself another ally of sorts. After all, she herself had been tainted by rumors of her late husband’s affairs and then subsequent death and it had taken a good deal of inner strength for her to even consider returning to society.
Miss Bavidge cleared her throat, glancing up somewhat awkwardly at Emily, making her aware that the girl had something more to say.
“Yes, Miss Bavidge?”
“Might I…..” The young lady trailed off, her face an expression of frustration. “Forgive me. What I ought to say is, if you are so willing, Lady Smithton, might I be permitted to call upon you one day soon? There is something more that I would like to discuss with you, if you would grant me a few minutes of your time.”
To Emily’s surprise, instead of immediately rejecting the idea, she found herself rather willing to see the young lady again. Whether it was because of the concern in the Miss Bavidge’s eyes or because she found their conversation thus far to be rather intriguing, she could not say but, despite all of this, she nodded. “You will tell me then why you think me so admirable, I hope?” she asked, a little teasingly. “After all, you are the first lady I have heard whispering about me, who then promises that they are somehow ‘in awe’ of me, although I cannot possibly imagine why!”
Miss Bavidge laughed, her face lighting up. “I shall, of course,” she replied, eagerly. “I do speak the truth, Lady Smithton, I promise you.”
“Then I think I would be very glad if you would call upon me, so that I might understand fully,” Emily replied, grinning. “Shall we say early next week?”
Miss Bavidge nodded enthusiastically. “That would be wonderful, Lady Smithton. I cannot thank you enough.”
Emily gave her a small, wry smile. “I just hope that I am able to assist you with whatever it is you wish to discuss, Miss Bavidge.”
“Oh, I am quite certain that you will be able to, Lady Smithton,” Miss Bavidge said with confidence. “I must go, I can see that my friend is waiting for me.” Again, she dropped into a curtsy, although Emily was glad to see that she was now smiling instead of appearing nervous and concerned. “Here is my card, Lady Smithton. And thank you.”
Emily accepted it with a word of thanks, letting her gaze follow the young lady as she left to return to her friend, who had risen from her seat on the bench. This had certainly been a rather curious encounter, although Emily had to admit to herself that she was certainly intrigued by whatever it was Miss Bavidge wished to discuss with her. She could not help but feel sorry for the lady also, aware that her father, Viscount Hawkridge, must be in a good deal of disgrace at this present moment. Whether or not he had been able to pay what he owed thus far despite his poor attempts at blackmail, she did not know and nor could she guess, but her heart did feel sympathy for his daughter. To be here for the Season, only to discover these horrendous truths about one’s father must be incredibly difficult for her. Of course, the beau monde might easily turn their back on her even though it was not anything she had done herself – for such was the way of the ton. Emily was glad that, at least, this young girl had some friends to speak of and had not been thrown from society entirely although she could imagine that her invitations had dwindled these last few weeks. That made her all the more determined to see the young lady again and do what she could for her.
Feeling a slight chill in the air, Emily sighed to herself as she began to walk back towards the entrance of the park. The ton certainly could be cruel, as she herself had discovered. Her husband had died from nothing more than a fall from a horse but within a few hours, it seemed, there had been rumors that he had deliberately thrown himself from it in order to bring his life to an end. It had, as far as she believed, came from her father, whom she had written to almost at once to inform him and her mother of her changed situation. The gossip had sickened her entirely. The ton had known, of course, that Emily’s marriage to the Marquess of Smithton had been an arrangement made between him and her father, and they also knew just how much Emily’s mother had opposed the marriage, albeit in a silent plea instead of any practical measures. After all, the Marquess had been almost twenty-five years Emily’s senior.
Why does wealth have such a great impact on the gentlemen of the ton? she wondered to herself, walking slowly back to the entrance to the park. Her father and Lord Smithton had exchanged a good deal of money for her marriage, which she had only discovered once she had been wed for a month or so. The dowry had been given, yes, but Lord Smithton himself had then responded by giving Emily’s father a substantial su
m in return. Lord Smithton himself had told her this, mocking her one evening when he had been in his cups. She had been bought and sold like she was nothing more than a donkey traded for work.
Lord Smithton had paid for her simply because he wanted a young wife to give him the heir he needed. Given that his previous wife had died early into their marriage, having become a shadow of her former self, the gentility of London were rather wary of him. Nothing more than rumors had been said, of course, but it had been more than enough for the mothers of the ton to keep their eligible daughters away from him. Emily’s father had done no such thing, however, and had made it clear that he would be willing to marry Emily to Lord Smithton for a price. Emily could still recall how Lord Smithton had laughed in her face, telling her that she meant nothing to her father and was merely a broodmare for him.
That had been the day she had decided to stop allowing herself to be treated in such a degrading fashion. She had withheld everything from the marquess. Since that night, she had refused to leave her quarters and go to his bed, as she was expected to do whenever he called her. His age and his lack of strength had prevented him from chasing her and forcing her to do as he wished, and life had gone on in such a way for a little less than a year. And then, he had died and the rumors had sprung up that he had done so deliberately to escape from his selfish and unwilling wife. They had also whispered that she had found out of his many evenings spent at houses of ill repute and had made his life difficult ever since then when the truth had been quite the opposite. She had never cared what he did, choosing only how to live her own life in as manageable a way as possible, having no respect and certainly no affection for the man she had been forced to marry.
A New Beginning: The Spinsters Guild Page 3
