by Leia Stone
Grinning at me from across the table, she practically bounced with energy. “Well? Are you?”
I pulled the hair-net off and shot it into the garbage. Tomorrow was Saturday, which meant the Samhain ball, and also, most likely, almost certainly, running into my mate. Something that no longer excited me. “Not really.”
After a long guzzle of water, I bit into my burger, nearly groaning as the flavors hit my tongue. “But-this-is-so-good.”
The words slurred together around my mouthful of food, and I swallowed and opened my eyes, only to flinch away from my BFF’s proximity.
Kaja glared at me, not even six inches from my nose.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, leaning back on the bench. I shoved cold tater tots into my mouth and chewed, waiting for her to spill the tea, but when she said nothing, I went back to the main course.
She shook her head and pointed at my burger.
I glanced down to see what she meant. But the burger looked fine to me—more than fine, really. “What’s wrong with it?”
“Not the burger.” She rolled her eyes until they nearly disappeared and then gave me a flat stare. “You.”
“What did I do?” Besides me not inserting myself in her life every single waking moment, not much had changed.
She drummed her fingers against the Formica tabletop. “Just eat your burger, Nai. Then we can talk.”
Her tone was light, but I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. Did I do something wrong? Lately, it felt like I couldn’t do anything right. The loneliness that had been eating away at me the past few days ramped up a notch. I quickly ate every bite on my plate before sighing with contentment. “That was a good burger.”
“Yes, all three of them.” She snorted and jerked her head toward the door.
The cafeteria was empty, save Kalama, but I wasn’t about to argue our departure.
We stepped out into the cool air of autumn, and I chuckled. “All right, tell me what’s up. I can deal now.”
“That’s just it,” Kaja muttered, her expression tight. “I don’t know what’s up. You just don’t seem like you anymore. You’re a ghost, always studying, always busy. Ever since that night … you don’t come over anymore.”
“Wait a minute. What do you mean, that night?” I tried to buy time while my brain assessed the situation. Was she mad? Hurt? How bad did I screw up? I’d just been trying to give them space.
“That night … you know, the one where you saved my life by binding yourself to a dark mage with a blood debt for a year.” The longer she spoke, the more her shoulders drooped. Finally, she offered me a small smile. “That one. You pulled away.”
I cocked my head to the side and shook it. “You think I’ve pulled away? I thought no one wanted me around. Rage and the Midnight boys hate me because they think my uncle killed their dad. You almost died, so you probably want time with family. Nolan is demon-spawn, and I’m … coping. Sort of.”
She frowned and reached for my hand. “Nai, you used to come over all the time, and now? Only in the morning, and just enough time for Nell to cover your marks.” She shook her head and swallowed hard. “Do you … are you mad at me? I’ve been giving you space because I thought you were mad about the blood debt. That you regret it.”
I shook my head, shocked she’d misunderstood, and tears blurred my vision. “No. Not at all. I could never regret saving you.” I pulled her in for a sideways hug. “You’re my BFF. You do know that the second F is for ‘forever,’ right?”
She sniffed, and the sound pulled at all the strings of my heart.
“We … I-I thought … I was afraid you’d resent me.”
I chuckled, not because her pain was funny but because the whole misunderstanding was so crazy. Relief poured through me as I came to terms with my lame coping skills. I’d blocked everyone out because I was hurt, but maybe it was better to get it all out in the open.
“Nope.” I popped the p. “I don’t resent you one bit. I thought you and your sisters wanted or maybe needed time together to heal. Because—” I shrugged. “—the school doesn’t offer therapy.”
Kaja snickered. As she pulled me into a tight hug, she whispered, “You’re certifiable. Also, you’re my BFF too. And I want you around all the time.”
On second thought, the alpha king could keep the money and get his own therapist. I had Kaja.
“Let’s go order pizza,” Kaja said, pulling me toward the Harvest dorm. “Nell and Rue will probably demand a sleepover too. Girl, don’t ever think we need time away from you. As far as we’re concerned, we’re all part of the same pack.”
Tears pricked my eyes again as we strode toward her dorm, each of us with an arm around the other. We walked through the door, and both Rue and Nell screamed and raced forward to greet me.
“Nai’s back!”
Nell burst into laughter.
“I can’t wait for us to all go to Samhain tomorrow,” Rue said.
Oh, crap.
The ball was tomorrow, and I didn’t have a dress.
I stared at the empty white dress box that lay at the edge of Kaja’s bed, the red silk ribbon now on the floor from when she’d torn it open for me.
I clutched the card against my chest and tried to rein in my breathing.
Beautiful Miss Blue,
Wear this tonight so I can find you.
-Your Mate
“It’s sooo romantic,” Kaja squealed.
I ran my fingertips over the dark blue silk where it faded to teal near the hem.
“It’s psychotic,” I replied.
Nell and Rue shared a worried glance, making me feel like I needed to explain.
I shook my head. “He’s not proud to be my mate in real life, only in hidden corners and moonlight runs. I feel like a secret mistress.”
Tears burned my eyes and clogged my throat. Mother Mage, I care too much. More than I’d allowed myself to believe.
Rage.
Justice.
They knew me.
I understood it wasn’t ideal to have your mate be from another clan—it was a high crime, even—but then why bother with the beautiful dress? Why the freaking boxes of food? Why get all of the Midnight princes to help me shift? Why do all these things and still keep me in the dark?
I was done playing his games. From here forward, it needed to be all or nothing. So tonight, I was going to tell my green-eyed Midnight boy to choose. Either we were honest with each other, trusted each other, or … not. If he wouldn’t share his identity, then I was done. I was Nai of Crescent Clan, and no one worth my time was ashamed to be with me.
“A girl in our pack found her fated mate last summer.” Kaja’s voice was small, and she offered me a tremulous smile. “I’d never seen anyone so blissful and euphoric. He was a few years older than her, and everyone wondered why he wouldn’t pick a mate. I don’t know if he knew and was waiting for her to grow up or what, but when she turned eighteen, he kissed her at her birthday party, and all these white butterflies descended onto her shoulders … it was incredible. They light each other up, and the coolest thing is they can speak to each other telepathically.” She sighed and then added, “Our entire pack partied for three days and three nights straight; we were so happy for them.”
Silence descended.
A wistful sense of melancholy settled in my chest, a dull ache of loss. I took a deep breath to dislodge the sensation then cleared my throat. “I’ll never have that.”
Kaja came over and wrapped her arms around me. “No, and I’m so sorry because you deserve it.”
We hugged, and Nell and Rue murmured their agreement and then came up from behind and wrapped their arms around us, squishing me in the middle.
“You also deserve a trophy for being a badass fighter,” Nell said.
Rue chimed in with her soft voice. “And for keeping your promises.”
“Holy Mother Mage,” Kaja quipped, rolling her eyes. “You’d better stop or she’ll get a big head and make friends with Ma
llory, and then where will we be?”
I laughed. “No way that’s going to happen.”
Our group hug disbanded, and I glanced at each of the Harvest girls, my heart brimming with affection. “You guys are the best.”
“You’re pretty okay too.” Kaja surveyed me in my blue ombre dress. “So, you ready to do this?”
Nell had once again dyed my hair blue, and a waterfall of ringlets fell down my back. Together with my curls, the off-the-shoulder sleeves hid my exposed elemental marks—better than if I’d planned it. The masks hid our clan marks, and for the first time since the ball at the beginning of the year, I asked Nell to leave my mate mark. I wanted Rage or Justice to see I wasn’t ashamed to be bound to him. If he didn’t feel the same, no more wood runs, no more masked balls—no more.
Reaching up, I pulled my white pearl and jeweled mask on and then headed out with the girls. Whatever we’d had was over. Time to break the news to my mate.
The entire island glowed with magic tonight. Lanterns and candles lit every pathway. Students and teachers, dressed to the nines, laughed and joked. Everyone was dressed up, even the guards. They stood like sentinels on the pathway, holding swords, in black masks and tuxedos.
After returning from Dark Row, Justice didn’t ask again about the masquerade, didn’t follow up to make sure I’d be here. He’d ghosted me, which only served to make tonight easier.
After giving a drop of blood to the masquerade-chalice to ensure I would not make out with Nolan, the masked-man magicked our voices, and then we stepped inside the atrium.
The ceiling had been retracted, revealing a sky filled with twinkling stars. Slow music played over a speaker system, and I scanned the crowd.
This party was bigger. Much bigger.
I started to count and realized this wasn’t just students. With over two hundred people here, the packs must’ve sent in some of their members from the outskirts of the island.
“Our other siblings and packmates are here tonight too. Usually, Samhain isn’t masquerade, but the princes made the rule. Now, I know why.” Kaja winked.
The statement pricked my heart and filled me with fire. One of the Midnight princes was so ashamed of being my mate that he’d talked his brothers into making the ball masquerade so that he didn’t have to be seen with me.
“I’m going to get mage wine!” Nell sauntered off, Rue in tow.
Kaja looped her arm through mine: “Wanna dance?”
I gave her a fake smile, trying to keep the depressing thoughts at bay. “Sure.”
We wove through the crowded dance floor toward the center, and Kaja started to wave her arms, twisting to the beat. I swayed, trying to feign fun, but I couldn’t get into it. When a guy stepped between us and asked her to dance, I gave her a genuine smile and thumbs-up.
“Find you later,” I shouted and then fled, grateful to escape the dancefloor.
I needed air. Massive crowds of people and social niceties were not my things. Insincerity and politicking, also not my thing. Finding my way to the patio, I stepped out through the open doors and gulped in the crisp night air. Maybe Alpha Academy wasn’t my thing, but I’d stick it out for my pack.
I felt him before I heard him, a presence at my back. “You came,” he said.
It was him. He drew near, his proximity sending heat down my spine. The same way a magnet was drawn to its pair, I pivoted and faced him.
My mate.
I sucked in a breath, ready to tell him off, to cut him off. I needed to say I couldn’t do this, that I wouldn’t. But then my gaze fell to his left hand.
Mate marks.
He’d kept them. On display, for all to see.
I was so stunned that when he reached for me, I let him. He gathered me into his arms, and then we were dancing. The melody filtered out through the roof and open doors, and he pressed his hand to my lower back, coaxing me closer. I nuzzled my head to his chest.
Home. He felt like Montana, like pack, like my future. Tears welled in my eyes because that felt like a lie. As long as he wouldn’t tell me who he was, it was a lie. I wouldn’t play these games. Not anymore.
Pulling back from his chest, I tilted my chin up to look him in the eye.
“This is the last time you will ever touch me. I can’t do this.” My voice shook, but I held strong. His eyes widened, but I rushed on, determined to finish my speech. “You’ve played with me. You’re ashamed of me. Or you don’t trust me. Either way, I don’t deserve any of it.”
I stepped away from him even though it was the hardest thing I’d ever done.
He stumbled forward, reaching for me, “I want to be with you, Nai, but—”
“But you’re a Midnight prince, and your pack hates mine,” I said, shaking my head.
I held his gaze. He stared at me, frozen in place, lips parted.
I exhaled and then continued in a whisper. “You’re either Rage or Justice. I’m not sure which, but it doesn’t really matter. If we can’t be together, I need this to stop.”
He shuddered, hands balled into fists, and his eyes flashed yellow.
For the first time, I retreated several steps back in fear.
Would he attack me? I scanned the darkness, but there was only us in this corner of the garden.
He shook his head and put his hands out, palms up. “My wolf is angry with me. It’s trying to take over, but I’d never hurt you, Nai.”
I crossed my arms across my chest. “You already have.” My shoulders sagged with defeat. “We’re done.”
I turned to leave, ignoring him when he growled.
I heard him move, felt him crossing the space between us, and then he pulled me to him. My back to his chest, his arms encircled my waist. “You’re wrong. We will never be done.”
His warm breath caressed my neck, making my knees go weak. I could pull out of his grasp, but I didn’t want to.
“You’re mine,” he said, his voice rough. His breath grew shallow, and his chest pressed into my back with every heave. “Mother Mage, I’m … I’m so in love with you.”
I gasped as the shock of his declaration ran through me, causing my heart to grow wings and take flight.
He … loved me?
I spun in his arms and stared up at him.
“Being away from you is physically painful.” He closed his eyes and sucked in a ragged breath. “You’re all I think about. Everything I do is to protect you. The food boxes, meeting you for forest runs, making sure you got a healing serum, and running a perimeter around your dorm at night, Nai … you’re everything to me.”
Whoa.
Whoa.
Whoa.
“But … you’ve ignored me, been so cruel,” I whimpered.
He frowned. “I tried to fight it. My human side tried to push you away. I thought if I was mean enough, if I could find enough reasons to hate you … but I can’t. I’m done fighting.”
A single tear rolled down my cheek.
“Please…” he whispered.
I waited for him to finish his plea. Waited to know what he wanted so I could give it to him.
He opened his eyes, and his vibrant green gaze fell to mine. “Please, let me show you.”
Really?
Stunned, I watched, lips parted, as he bowed his head and tugged his mask off.
He raised his chin, and tears burned my eyes.
Rage.
Holy Mother of Mages.
My mate was Rage.
“I wanted it to be you,” I whispered, almost afraid to admit the truth. Raising up on my toes, I brushed my fingers over his lips and then swallowed. “I’m so glad it’s you.”
He growled, a low possessive sound that made desire flare within me. He gripped my hips and pulled me closer. “I need you.”
Threading his fingers into my hair, Rage tilted my head to expose my neck. He traced his nose up the side where my pulse pounded, stopping only to nip at the tender flesh. “I’m sorry for what I said about your pack, about your uncle, about eve
rything. I’m so sorry.”
My breathing grew shallow as he continued his ministrations, kisses, and hot breaths against my skin. He grazed my skin with his teeth, and his hips moved.
I moaned, desperate for more. “Rage, please,” I panted.
His warm tongue traced the outside of my ear, and then he sucked the fleshy part between his teeth. Every second was agony and pleasure.
“Rage…” Reaching into his jacket, I raked my nails down his back, and he groaned. Desire and need shot through me. “Kiss me.”
His lips crashed against mine, and he nipped at my lower lip. I opened to him, and our tongues tangled. He brushed his fingertips over my skin … up my arms, over my shoulder, and then the swell of my breast.
I arched my back and clung to him as heat and magic buzzed under my skin.
Rage guided me backward until my back pressed against a wall. I tilted my head to give him better access. He pressed kisses down my neck then licked where he’d caressed seconds before. My mind clouded with lust, and I pulled him closer, desperate for more.
“I’ve missed you,” he murmured against my breasts and then inhaled sharply. “Your smell.” He moaned, and my desire became an inferno of need. “Nai,” he huffed, kissing between my breasts as he fumbled with the corset clamps of my dress. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” I panted.
He kissed my shoulder, and I pushed his jacket off over his arms.
The first clasp on my dress released, but I was so lost in my lusty haze I didn’t remember my marks until it was too late.
His body went rigid against mine, and then he pulled back, his gaze fixed on my chest. “What’s that?”
Frick. Frick. Frick.
My fire mark. Right between my breasts where he had just been kissing.
I pushed him away. “Nothing.”
He growled. “Don’t lie to me.”
Oh, no you did not. Lying was your middle name—it might still be.
I swallowed hard but said nothing.
He frowned, and his gaze darted deeper down into my dress, where my water mark was.
