Drew rolled his eyes. “Come on, Jordan. Luke and everyone else have been outside waiting for hours. Don’t give the guy a hard time. Besides, we can’t stay here long. They’re going to admit you.”
“Why can’t I go home? I’m fine.” He pointed to his head. “It barely hurts anymore. I can take some aspirin and rest in my own bed.”
“Don’t be a dope,” Luke scolded him. “I can’t watch you properly.”
“I’d rather you watch me improperly.” His teeth gleamed, but as he attempted to sit up, an inadvertent groan slipped out and he paled.
In a flash, Luke was by Jordan’s side, bracing his arm against Jordan’s shoulder. His throat tightened. Jordan seemed almost fragile, his bones slight, as though they could easily be snapped by a too-strong wind. “Take it easy. Lie back down.”
This time, Jordan merely listened and sank back into the pillow. A light sweat had broken out across his brow, and he closed his eyes. “Shit, my head is spinning and pounding at the same time.”
“That’s because you probably have a concussion, you idiot,” Drew snapped at him. “Now lie back, don’t move, and they’ll be taking you to your room shortly. You aren’t the only one who’s exhausted. We’ve been worried sick for hours, especially Luke.”
Impressed by Drew’s out-of-character behavior, Jordan’s easy compliance with Drew’s orders surprised Luke. Sometimes the quiet ones fooled you, he mused, giving Drew a respectful nod of thanks.
“He’ll bully you if you don’t push back, you know.” Drew hugged him as he prepared to leave. “Don’t let him tell you what to do. He thinks only he knows what’s best for everyone.” He returned to the bed where Jordan lay with his eyes closed, his breathing light but steady. “Stop giving everyone a hard time. Listen to the nurses and hopefully you’ll only be in here a day or so.” Drew bent down and kissed his cheek. “Try and rest and I’ll see you later. I love you.”
Jordan opened his eyes. “Thank you. I love you too.” He swallowed hard. “And thank Ash for me. I know he’s been out there waiting as well.”
Surprise flared in Drew’s light eyes, but he simply nodded and gave Luke’s shoulder a squeeze before leaving. Tash had left several minutes earlier when it became apparent that Jordan wasn’t seriously injured. The events of the night hit Luke all at once, and he began to fade, but he needed to reassure Jordan all would be well, and he wanted to tell him about his decision to speak with Ash.
Lucas picked up Jordan’s hand and kissed it. “I thought I’d lost you there for a moment, Prep School.”
Keeping his eyes closed, Jordan smiled. “It would take more than a hard knock to my head to get rid of me.” He licked his lips. “Shit, my whole body hurts.”
Luke smoothed the hair off Jordan’s brow. There were a cup and pitcher on the table next to the bed, and he gave Jordan a drink of cold water. “Drink it slow.”
“Thanks. I’ve been choking all night; my throat’s been so dry.”
They sat, and after a while, Luke thought Jordan had fallen asleep. Almost dead on his feet, he rose to go home. He bent to kiss Jordan on his forehead. “I love you, Jordan. Don’t ever leave me.”
To his surprise, Jordan opened his eyes and grabbed his hand. “If I have anything to say about it, I never will. Having you here with me tonight, knowing I have you to come home to, makes the ride all worth it. There was only one thought going through my mind when they were beating me.”
Luke bit his lip, unable to talk as Jordan continued.
“All I could think of was, God, don’t let Lucas find me dead. If I’m going to die, I have to be able to say good-bye because I need to see his face one more time.” Tears fell from his eyes. “I didn’t want to die without you hearing me tell you how much I love you.” Jordan’s shaking hand clasped his. “Don’t ever doubt your place in my heart and my life.”
“I told Ash I wanted to talk to him,” Luke blurted out, unable to hold himself back any longer. “When you get out of the hospital, I want the four of us to get together.”
Jordan’s eyes glowed. “I’m proud of you. But are you sure you want Drew and me there? Don’t you want to speak alone with him after all these years?”
Unashamed of his emotions, Luke clutched Jordan’s hand. “I can’t do it alone. Please be there for me.” Luke knew he and Ash faced an emotional battlefield and were bound to hurt one another. The history between them had never really been buried, no matter how he’d tried. It remained by the surface, bubbling up every once in a while. For years he’d smothered his pain by shoveling another layer of resentment on top, but the time had come to unearth the demons and put them to rest.
Jordan patted his hand. “If you need me, I’m there for you.” His eyes slid shut, and Luke knew he’d fallen asleep almost immediately.
Luke kissed his cheek. “I’ll always need you.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
“I can do this on my own. I don’t need your help.” Nothing irritated Jordan more than to have people hovering over him, thinking him weak and lacking. “It’s been over a week already. My head barely hurts anymore.” He pushed at Lucas’s hand on his elbow.
Without missing a step, Lucas tightened his hold. “Well, tough shit. You’re getting my help whether you like it or not. Not only are you still recovering from the attack, but you’re coming off the addiction treatment, in case you’ve forgotten.”
“Not likely. Christ, Lucas. You’re worse than my mother.” His parents remained stuck in the mountains in Switzerland due to the snow, but they’d spoken several times over the past few days. After reassuring them he was fine and having a tearful conversation with them about his addiction, he’d introduced them to Lucas. They’d adored Keith, and Jordan knew his mother had despaired of him ever finding someone else to spend his life with. Her tentative efforts to suggest he meet someone new had been met with angry silence and ultimately his disengagement. When he told them about Lucas, his mother burst into tears. Lucas and his parents had, as expected, hit it off.
“Your mom is cool.” Lucas smirked, and Jordan rolled his eyes. “Besides she already loves me, and she hasn’t even met me yet.”
“All right, stud, let’s go downstairs before your ego inflates so much you can’t fit through the door. You’ve kept me a prisoner in this house long enough.”
Lucas took his elbow and helped him down the stairs, where a chorus of cheers and applause greeted him. Everyone was there: Drew and Ash, Mike and Rachel, Esther and a distinguished-looking elderly gentleman, Wanda, Keith’s partner Jerry, and even Dr. Springer. Tash and his sister, Valerie, rounded out the group.
But Jordan only had eyes for Sasha, who, held back by Mike, barked and strained at her collar. Gingerly, as his ribs still twinged slightly at sudden movement, he knelt down and held out his arms. “Come here, girl. Come, sweetheart.”
Whining and wriggling across the floor, Sasha crept toward Jordan as if she knew she couldn’t fling herself on top of him. When she finally got close enough, she scooted into his arms and gave his face a thorough tongue washing. Jordan stayed there, despite the soreness in his side, giving the dog comfort. It must’ve been harrowing for her to not only find him hurt, but then to have her life flipped upside down—first staying with Mike and Rachel, and then not seeing him for the past week and a half while he was incarcerated in the hospital. Lucas had insisted that Mike and Rachel could watch her better than he could, so he could concentrate not only on Jordan’s recovery from the beating but the continuation of the treatment for Xanax withdrawal. Plus, he admitted not wanting to leave Jordan alone anymore, even if only to walk the dog. Jordan vowed to give her some much-needed alone time with him, complete with extra treats.
Lucas took a steady hold of his elbow as he attempted to stand. The man had an uncanny ability to understand Jordan’s moves, maybe even before he knew himself what he needed. “Thanks.” He flashed Lucas a smile.
“I think you should sit down.” Keeping ahold of his arm, Lucas steered him into the large front ro
om and settled him onto the sofa. The rest of the guests trailed after them and found seats. From his vantage point, Jordan could see past the open, glass-fronted French doors into the dining room, where a spread of food lay waiting to be consumed. Platters of cold cuts, salads and all types of breads and rolls awaited. On the sideboard sat a myriad of desserts, including a large chocolate cake that looked suspiciously like it came from his favorite bakery in the East Village.
“Jordan, darling.” Esther came over and kissed him, patting his cheek with tenderness. “Won’t you let me make you a plate of something? I baked you those brownies you love so much.” Her bright blue eyes shone with love, and Jordan squeezed her hand.
“I’ll never refuse your brownies; you know that.” The gentleman hovering next to her caught his eye. “I don’t believe you’ve introduced me to your friend.” He grinned as her cheeks flushed pink. Did Esther have a man in her life? Over her shoulder, he caught Drew’s eye. His friend gave a thumbs up and a wink. He had to blink twice, though, when he saw Lucas and Ash speaking to each other. Perhaps they’d given him a hallucinogenic instead of the flumazenil treatment. Lucas had said he wished to make peace with his foster brother, and to Jordan, they looked downright cordial to one another. Friendlier even than Jordan himself had ever been to Ash in the past.
“Oh, yes. This is Jack Birnbaum. He and I met at the neighborhood senior center. He lives a few blocks away, and we’ve been enjoying each other’s company.”
Jordan extended his hand and was pleased to note Jack’s firm handshake. “Nice to meet you, Jack.”
The man’s good-natured expression never faltered as he shifted his attention from Esther to Jordan. “Nice to meet you, Doctor. Esther has told me so much about you, about all of you in fact. I’m glad you’re home. Why don’t you let me fix you a little nosh while you relax with everyone.” His brown eyes twinkled as he whispered to Jordan, “That’ll give me a chance to sneak a few cookies in without Esther yelling at me to watch my diet.”
Oh, he liked this man already. “Thanks, Jack. I appreciate it.”
Esther patted Jack’s hand, and he went into the dining room.
“He seems nice.” Lucas sat next to Jordan. “Stretch out. You can put your head in my lap.”
Jordan complied, almost moaning with delight as Lucas’s strong hands began to massage his shoulders. “You have amazing hands.”
All around him, he watched as his friends mingled and enjoyed themselves. The food was consumed and the conversation ebbed and flowed. Through it all he remained aware of Lucas’s strong hands on his body; whether it was rubbing his shoulders, briefly touching his face, or pressing against his chest, Lucas’s touch soothed him with a comforting warmth.
The afternoon passed swiftly, and his friends took their leave, aided, he was certain, by Lucas’s constant declaration that Jordan shouldn’t overdo it and needed to rest. Surprisingly enough, he felt good. He’d continued the flumazenil treatment while in the hospital for the two days they’d kept him, and for the past week he’d been recuperating at home. As Tash had predicted, the short period of his Xanax dependency worked in his favor. The anxiety had dramatically faded, and he no longer had that tight, fluttering sensation in his chest when he thought about the future or the past. The treatment would continue, however, for another two days.
“I wish they’d all disappear. I want to be alone with you.” They hadn’t been intimate since he’d been home. Lucas’s hot breath drifted past his ear, and Jordan decided to have some fun. He turned his head, which still lay pillowed in Lucas’s lap, so his lips grazed Lucas’s thigh, right near his crotch. He blew a gentle stream of heated air and laughed as Lucas let out a smothered curse.
“Cut it out.” The warning tone in Lucas’s voice sent a spark racing down his spine.
“Make me,” Jordan dared.
“Later.”
Jordan’s blood heated at the sound of Lucas’s voice, full of promise, want, and need.
A shadow fell over him, and he glanced up to see Jerry standing there. “Hey. Let me talk to Jerry.” Against Lucas’s protests, Jordan struggled to sit. “I’m fine. Stop coddling me.”
Lucas glared, but Jordan ignored him. “I’m glad you came. Any updates on finding the guys who attacked me? I gave my statement to the two officers who came to the hospital.”
“I know, but I had a few more questions.” Jerry took out his ever-present notebook. Keith had also never gone anywhere without one.
“Go ahead.” Jordan settled back against Lucas’s chest. “I don’t really remember much, unfortunately, but I’ll tell you what I can.”
It pissed him off to no end that he couldn’t remember more than he’d already told the police. The thought that someone had entered his house, robbed him of the safety and security he’d always had, left him with an eerie, unbalanced feeling. Lucas had said he didn’t see anything of value missing, which led Jordan to believe it wasn’t simply a robbery. Whoever did this to him meant to send a message. His thoughts flashed back to the meeting on the street with Johnny, and what he’d said.
“Whoever broke in didn’t do it to steal from me. They didn’t take my wallet, phone, or computers. I think—” Jordan paused to collect his thoughts. “I’m almost certain they did so to send me a warning not to tell the police about them.”
Lucas tightened his arms around Jordan, and he winced. “Ow. Lighten up, big guy.”
“Sorry.” Lucas loosened his hold but didn’t let go of him. “That makes sense. That kid meant it when he warned you about talking to the police, Prep School. But it also had to do with the community center. They don’t like its message and the influence it’s having on the teenagers.”
“I agree.” Jordan watched as Jerry wrote everything they said down. “Every kid who comes to the Center is another potential client lost to them. Without these kids they have no way to sell their poison.” He fell silent.
Ever attuned to his moods, Lucas prodded him in the back. “What is it? Something’s wrong.”
Unwilling to trust himself to speak at the moment, he shook his head. Jerry’s sharp glance and subsequent smile let Jordan know he understood.
“I fucked up so badly,” Jordan began. Feeling Lucas tense beneath him, he stopped and put his hand on Lucas’s arm. “Let me say what I have to say, please. It’s important I get this out.”
“Fine.”
Jordan concentrated on Jerry’s kind face. “All the time I was feeling sorry for myself and taking the pills, never once did I think of the impact my buying illegal drugs off the streets from kids like Johnny had on my own neighborhood or the city. In a way, I helped perpetuate the culture that allows guns and drugs to thrive here. I aided Keith’s killers.”
“Now, look—”
“No.” Jordan sat up abruptly, ignoring the painful twinge of his ribs. “Don’t sugarcoat it. I want, I need to help catch these bastards. Not only will I help my neighborhood and the city, but it will go a little way to ease my own guilt for what I did in tarnishing Keith’s memory. I was too caught up in my own self-pity to think about how destructive my actions were.”
Jerry rose from his chair to sit next to Jordan and slung a comforting arm around his shoulder. “Keith would’ve been proud of you. You’re not the same man you were a year ago, are you?”
“Keith would’ve kicked my ass from here until next Sunday if I’d ever done anything this stupid while he was alive and you know it. And no, I’m not, thanks to Lucas. Like Keith, he also has the ability to see past my bullshit and call me on it.”
“You’re a remarkably easy person to read.” Lucas began collecting the plates of leftovers that people had left scattered about. “But let me ask you something. How do you think you can help the police?”
Here came the tricky part. Jordan knew Lucas wouldn’t be happy, but it wasn’t his choice to make. Not his fight to fight. “I have an idea that it might be Johnny’s boss, his supplier. Johnny couldn’t have beaten me down by himself, if at all.
But get to the bigger guys and you get to the problem. And that’ll be through Johnny. He’s only a boy, vulnerable and still fixable if we get to him early enough, and he hasn’t been too badly damaged.”
With deliberation, Lucas put down the stack of paper plates he’d been collecting and walked back over to where Jordan and Jerry sat. “I know you didn’t suggest a setup. You can’t put yourself in the middle of this. It’s too dangerous.”
Jordan’s temper rose. “I don’t recall asking for your permission.”
In all the months he’d known Lucas, he’d yet to see him this scared. “This isn’t fucking Law and Order, Jordan. Things won’t necessarily be wrapped up all nice and neat in an hour, with a guarantee to make it to next week simply because you’re on the right side of the law.”
The heat of Lucas’s fear and anger hit Jordan like a fist. Rationally, Jordan knew Lucas was right, and only spoke like that out of concern and love. But he also knew that his plan was the best chance they had to catch these bastards. Appealing to Jerry, he tried to remain calm and neutral. “Don’t you agree with me, Jerry? I’m the best shot you’ve got at stopping these fuckers.”
The lines on Jerry’s face deepened. He hesitated, shot Lucas a quick, troubled look, then focused on Jordan again. “I’m afraid I’m going to agree with Luke. You’re too intimately involved and things could go horribly wrong. Now that you’ve given us a lead as to who you believe is at least responsible for the break-in and attack, we have reasonable cause. We’ll put them under surveillance and hopefully your kid Johnny will lead us to the bigger fish.”
“No, but…” Jordan sputtered, indignant that he could be so casually cut out of the loop.
“For Christ’s sake, listen to Jerry.” Lucas had remained quiet and in the background while Jerry spoke. “I agree that the kid is probably key. But you aren’t going to use yourself as bait.”
Jordan would’ve liked to continue the argument, but he didn’t have the strength to argue with both of them. He tipped his head back against the seat cushions.
After the Fire Page 25
