Chapter 16
The scent of the woods after a healthy rainfall has always been a favorite of mine. It's so earthy and rich, making me feel like I could just breathe in the forest itself. Breathe it right into my lungs and become one with it. There were many times, when I was a little girl, where I wandered off into the woods behind my parents' house after a storm passed. It had been an escape years before I found it on the back of Frank' bike.
My feet sank into the mud and grass, as it had so many times, and I smiled as I lost sight of my toes in the dark muck. It felt just like my old patch of woods. Like nothing had changed.
Only my feet were much bigger now, my weight heavier and pushing me deeper down into the earth with each step. I don't know where I was going, but I was heading somewhere. I was searching for something.
The trees thinned out ahead of me, and I already knew a clearing was on the other side of the last of them. My clearing—the one with the creek that filled ankle-deep after the rain, where I would chase after frogs and lizards. Where I would go because my parents were too busy with Lorelei, and I was too restless to sit indoors and wait.
My steps hastened as I neared my clearing, and a smile stretched over my face. It had been so many years since I’d last been here. I had wanted to bring Frank back to it, once upon a time, to show him my little secret place and share it with him. We just never made it to that point, I guess.
I wondered how much it had changed. Had the years changed it into something sad and unrecognizable, or did it really have the magic I always imagined it had as a girl? Would it be the only thing on this earth that was untouched by time? God, I hoped so.
I broke the tree line and delighted in what I found. It was as I remembered. Still that special hideaway I held so tenderly in my memories. Except I didn't remember fireflies ever showing up this deep in the woods.
I stared at the two lights ahead of me and realized they were moving in exactly the same way, never getting any farther apart. I had never seen fireflies move together in such a way before and it drew me closer.
I walked towards the creek, closer to the lights of the fireflies and their odd dance, absolutely enchanted. It was only when my foot snapped a small branch that they stopped.
The lights were coming closer, growing larger inch by inch as they crossed the creek. They were moving right for me. I don't know why but it made me take a step back, the hair on my arms standing on end.
The clouds parted, breaking to allow the moon to shine down on the world and illuminate the small drops of rain that still clung greedily to the woods. A beam of silvery mist shone straight down in front of me, tendrils of it reaching out to the approaching lights. When the moonbeam hit, a silhouette of a wolf came into view. The lights were not fireflies at all but were the wolf's eyes and they were staring right at me.
My first thought was to run. To run away from this animal that could eat me alive. However, my feet would not move. I was glued to the spot, my muscles amazingly relaxed.
The wolf made another step toward me, but this time I didn’t feel threatened by it. Its head was lowered as it stared at me, its feet moving lightly along the forest floor. I can't describe what moved me, but I found myself dropping down to a knee as it came closer. I wasn't afraid of it, I wanted it to come.
And it did.
I stayed perfectly still as the animal trotted up to me. It seemed as curious about me as I was about it, and I let us both give in to our curiosity.
Its fur was such a rich, dark color that it almost looked like my hair. My natural hair color, I mean, not the six dollar boxed-blond I’d made it. As it moved, I could see slight tints of dark golds and rust, glinting and peeking with each powerful movement of the wolf. Its grey-blue eyes were almost glowing in the moonlight. I wanted to run my hands through the fur, to see how it felt. Would it feel like Liz's had?
She sniffed my hand, alerting me to the fact that I’d actually raised it up without realizing it.
I didn't move yet. I simply let her scent me, become familiar with me. I waited for her to decide I had no ill-will towards her before I made my move. The last thing I wanted to deal with was another wolf attack. Not on such a beautiful, peaceful night as this. When she seemed satisfied at what she smelled, I move my hand to pet her.
Nothing.
My hand literally moved through her as if she weren't more than air. I jerked my hand back and stared at the wolf wildly. Was I hallucinating? Was I still drugged and in that garage with Frank? The serenity that had been cloaking me emptied from me and my refilled me with panic.
Oh, God. The detective! Was he still alive?
I shot to my feet and turned to run, but a long, shrill howl pierced the silence of the woods and when I turned back to look at the wolf she was lunging towards me. I threw my arms up to protect my face, but as my hand had gone through her moments ago, she jumped through me now.
No, not through me. Into me.
Again came the warm serenity, and I could feel a light filling me up from the inside.
It coated the underside of my skin, stretching throughout every nook of my body until I was wearing the light like a suit. It was blissful, wonderful, and I felt at peace for the first time in my entire life. I hadn't even realized my feet had left the ground until I opened my eyes and saw the warm light pulsating from my fingers and toes and everything in between. Even knowing I was hanging in the air by an unseen force, I was at peace. The light was safety and truth. A riddle for me to puzzle out later and take ease in now.
I closed my eyes and let the energy of the wolf lull me into peaceful sleep.
Deny the Moon Page 30
