by Ivy Asher
“Sir, I...she just pushed her way in…” Grumpy Lurch stammers, finally catching up to me. His look of outrage morphs into disgust as he takes me in.
I open my mouth to ream him, but the brick wall I just crashed into, aka Jerif, cuts me off. His dark, strong hands continue to hold my arms, and he looks down at me with glittering orange and yellow eyes while his fiery hair gives him a hellish halo around his head. “It’s fine. I got her.”
Behind me, Grumpy Lurch huffs and storms off, mumbling about needing to clean the despicable mess I made. I can practically hear him saying, this is not the last you’ve heard about this in his angry steps as he disappears back down the hallway.
Once we’re alone, Jerif takes a step back and runs an icked-out gaze over me as I glare up at him. He finally lets go of my arms and wipes his hands on his gray shirt in an effort to remove the muddy slime he acquired when he grabbed me. I cock a brow and look pointedly at the front of his shirt. He quickly discovers that I sludged his whole front when I slammed nose-first into him. I feel a weird sense of victory at his grimace.
“I didn’t expect you to come back. Or to be covered in mud,” he says.
“I fell in the stupid fucking marsh.”
The corner of his mouth twitches, and I immediately raise a hand. “Don’t you fucking dare, Jerif,” I tell him. “I am not in the mood.”
Eyes glittering with amusement, he backs up and sweeps his arm out, indicating I should follow him into the room down the hall. I do and then pause when I realize all of the hot demons are gathered around a large dining room table, looking confused and concerned at my presence. Jerif’s big body was blocking them from view before, but as soon as I get an eyeful, nerves immediately begin to battle with my rage.
“Jeter, what the hell happened to you?” Crux asks me as he stands up, and the hint of judgment in his voice brings my anger back to the forefront.
“What happened to me?” I growl, repeating his question as I stand there in all of my disastrous glory. “I’ll tell you what fucking happened to me. I had no food! I holed up in my house like a hermit because I was so damn paranoid all week that you guys would jump me!” I shout, glaring murderously at them as mud drips off my hair. “I left my lights on all the time, so White Hair over there couldn’t Shadow sneak attack me,” I add, pointing toward Echo. “But you guys didn’t even show up, which you know what? Is a little insulting.”
Iceman rises to his feet from the head of the table, and even though he’s wearing a shirt this time, I can still see the outlines of his muscles and his dark blue hair is combed back from his horns. “Are you hurt? I think I smell blood beneath all the muck,” he says, his blue face screwing up into a frown.
“Yeah, I’m fucking hurt!” I snap, swiping some of the sludge away from my cracked lips. “I went to get ramen and then got attacked by demons on the way home!”
The four of them exchange a look as fury and fear makes up a really intense sphere of emotion that snowballs through me.
“Yeah. That’s right. Little green circus freaks who belong in Cirque du Soleil and should lay off the steroids. They attacked me in an alleyway, and I had to fucking sweep the goddamn demon leg!” I say somewhat hysterically as my voice raises to an octave I didn’t even know my vocal cords were capable of. “Oh, and Mrs. Lee was not the cute, adorable, elderly woman that I’ve come to know, and it’s your fault! Just like the fact that I fell into your stupid fucking marsh is your fault!” I shout, my chest rising and falling rapidly as I pant out part of my anger. My vision has curled with black spots and evil thoughts. “I am feeling very murdery right now.”
“Oh shit,” Echo mumbles, leaning forward on the table, his tattoos standing out against his pale skin.
“Oh shit is right. You assholes are in big fucking trouble. What the hell did you do to me?” I demand, placing my hands on my hips.
“Do to you?” Iceman asks.
“Yes,” I snap. “I never saw demons before you guys, and I sure as hell never got attacked by any.”
Echo’s contemplative stare turns delighted. “Did you slaughter them?” he asks excitedly, his black eyes sparkling like a starless night sky, and I know for sure his tattoos move this time.
His enthusiasm catches me off guard. “How the hell would I be able to kill twelve pickled-prick demons by myself?” I ask incredulously. “I barely got away. I had to drive my moped into the assholes and then run for my life,” I explain, pointing to the road rash on my face, arms, and hands that’s mixed with the mud. I even pull up my shirt and show off the cuts and bruises that are prevalent on my side.
“How did you manage to fall into the marsh?” Iceman asks, and I turn to glare at him next.
“Because you have some hidden steep embankments on part of your land!” I snap at him. “Put up a fucking warning sign, why don’t you!”
Iceman immediately shoots a hand up to cover his mouth, and I can tell by his shaking shoulders that he’s trying, and failing, to hide the fact that he’s fucking laughing at me. I stare at him incredulously. A couple more snickers fill the air as the others start to not so silently crack up at me too.
That’s fucking it!
I grab the first throwable thing in front of me, which just so happens to be a plate full of food. I pull the sandwich off the plate—because you don’t just throw away a perfectly good BLT—and then chuck the white china at the blue dude first. He ducks, so the plate shatters against the wall instead, which appeases me somewhat because the sound of it breaking is very satisfying. But that satisfaction loses its effect when Crux shouts, “Opa!” without missing a beat, and the demons break out into another giggle fest.
“I hate you guys,” I seethe, before yanking out the chair and sitting my muddy ass down.
I think this was Jerif’s seat, and this is his sandwich I’m still clutching in my dirt-encrusted hand, because I hear him make a little noise of disapproval as I start mowing down the BLT while the other assholes continue to yuck it up. I hope the mud sludge ruins the upholstery. I hope I also ruin the rug and that I can figure out how to fucking smite these four assholes. But before I can focus on a way to tap into potential demon qualities and kick their fine asses, my murderous, evil thoughts get dulled down by the taste of the food.
Damn, that’s a good sandwich.
I take another huge bite, not at all caring that I’m eating like a pig in front of them because my hunger is taking precedence over looking cute, and let’s be real, my cute ship sailed even before the sludge incident. After I manage to inhale the rest of the sandwich in record time, I wipe my mouth with the fancy cloth napkin and plop it back onto the table, with smears of mayonnaise and filth.
The demons are still looking at me with glittering amusement, and I lift my chin, eyeing them haughtily. “I fail to see what’s so damn funny about this. You trick me into working for you, tell me I’m a powerful demon, don’t even come after me when I run away, and now you think it’s hilarious that I was attacked?”
“We did not trick you into working for us,” Crux argues as he bites back a laugh.
“You did so!” I retort, sounding a bit like a kid arguing on the playground.
“How?”
Is this beach-bum-looking demon for real? “Umm, hello? You put a damn ad online for a security position at a graveyard. I’m pretty sure it didn’t say anything about Hellgates and demon attacks!” I say, somewhat frantically.
“Well, technically it is a security position, and besides, every other demon would’ve known what it was for,” Echo puts in, his pale finger tracing over the rim of his glass as his black eyes watch me with mirth. “You have grass in your hair,” he adds, and I have to curl my hands into fists to keep from launching at him.
“Well, I don’t want this. So whatever you did to me that forces me to see demons now, turn it the fuck off, okay? I have a whole new appreciation for the expression ‘ignorance is bliss.’”
The room is quiet for a moment as they share another look.
I’m getting real tired of those looks.
“Um. We can’t turn it off...we didn’t do anything to turn it on,” Echo states.
“Yet...” Crux adds, his smile salacious and his green eyes twinkling with sinful promises.
I give him a look that says fuck off with the flirting. He just smiles even wider.
“How is it that she’s never seen demons before?” Jerif muses behind me, while looking to the others.
Iceman shrugs. “I’m not sure. Something must have activated her demon blood, but I’ve no idea how any abilities would have been blocked in the first place.”
“Well, deactivate it or reblock me or do whatever you need to do, because I can’t go on living like this!”
“You’re right about that,” Echo says. “You’re going to have to stay here.”
I rear back. “Excuse me?”
“Echo,” Iceman chastises. I still can’t completely commit to calling him by his actual name—Rafferty. He’s just so...blue. Iceman makes more sense.
I shake my head, feeling like the walls are starting to close in on me a bit. “Look, something obviously happened when I came here to work. I’ve never seen anything that wasn’t human until the night I stumbled into all of you. Now I’m getting attacked, and I’m afraid to look too closely at anything, so just reverse whatever you did so I can go home and pretend none of this ever happened. Please.”
“We didn’t do anything to you,” Jerif tells me, his frustration clear as he swipes a hand through his hair.
“Bullshit,” I argue, feeling more and more tightly strung by the second, like I’m going to snap at any moment. “Don’t lie,” I seethe as I jump to my feet and stare Jerif down. “Just fix it!”
“Whoa,” Crux says, standing up and thrusting his arm between me and Jerif. “Let’s calm down and not anger the Duo demon, alright?” I ignore him, staring daggers at the orange-eyed demon like this is all his fault.
“Delta, we have no idea why you can suddenly see us,” Iceman cuts in across the table, trying to draw my attention over to his blue face. “But it wasn’t anything that we did, I swear that on the Morning Star’s wings. Maybe something happened during your interview or your first night in the graveyard that activated your demon blood? Perhaps you were blocked before, somehow, and that block stopped working for some reason?”
I open my mouth to argue and then promptly shut it. Did something happen during the interview or the graveyard?
“Were the people at the interview humans or demons?” I ask as I sift through the memories.
“Demons,” Jerif answers evenly.
“Demons that look like Crux or demons that look like the freaky green men who attacked me?” I press.
“Ms. Atwood has three eyes. If you didn’t see them and the two rows of razor-sharp teeth when you met her, then you weren’t seeing through her wards,” Echo explains.
I think back to her model good looks and white gleaming smile. “Yeah, no shark teeth in my interactions with her.” Thank fuck.
“Anything unusual happen after you were hired?” Crux inquires.
“No. I gave notice at my work. Bought some stuff to fix my house. Came here a couple of days later. Got bitched out by your snooty butler. Found the groundskeeper building and the awful uniform waiting for me. Almost got brained by your scythe. Opened the graveyard gates, got a splinter that hurt like a bitch…”
“Wait,” Jerif interrupts. “Our scythe? What does that mean?”
I look at him confused. “It came with the uniform,” I point out.
“We didn’t give you that scythe. We thought it was yours,” Iceman declares.
I look at him like he’s lost it. “What part about I’m a human, don’t see demons on the regular, and most definitely wouldn’t be carrying around a scythe for the fun of it don’t you understand?” I ask him incredulously.
“You’re a demon,” he argues. “We just assumed…”
I rub my temples, too tired for this argument again. “So where the hell did the scythe come from then?” I ask, ignoring the whole demon thing for a little longer.
No one answers. They shrug and look back and forth at each other like somehow that will solve the mystery.
“Where is it now?” Jerif asks, looking around where I’m sitting like he just noticed I don’t have the inconvenient weapon with me.
“In my umbrella holder at home.”
Jerif’s fire-flickering stare fixes on me for a beat like he can’t compute what I just said. “You left a sacred and incredibly rare weapon of Hell in the umbrella holder at your house?” he asks, his fire flickering eyes going all judgy and his full lips flattening with exasperation.
“Yep,” I chirp back, popping the p. How the hell was I supposed to know that I shouldn’t let it out of my sight? It’s not like it came with instructions.
Jerif goes straight up grandpa mode and rubs his face with his hands while mumbling about young demons and how they have no respect for anything these days. He looks like he’s not much older than I am, so I find the display even more ridiculous.
“We’ll pick up the scythe later and have a look at it, but from the sounds of things, you only have yourself to blame for your new sight,” Crux explains casually.
My head snaps in his direction. “Excuse me?”
He doesn’t look even slightly affected by my fury. “We didn’t give you the scythe, so you must have called to it somehow. I suspect it must be the key to all of this, but either way, it doesn’t really matter.”
I stare at him aghast. “Doesn’t really matter? I called to it?” I sputter, too pissed to coherently talk anymore. “I am not Thor, and this is not a Marvel movie. I didn’t call shit. And in case you didn’t notice, this is just my life you assholes are fucking with. It absolutely matters!”
“She’s even hotter when she’s pissed,” Echo comments randomly, his black eyes mischievous, and I suddenly feel the need to scream and then...maybe make out with him a little. Because fuck, this is confusing and scary, and I’ve always been impulsive when it comes to sex. I like to use it to forget about all the fucked up shit going on in my life, because I need a way to work off the rage somehow. But I stab those thoughts with an imaginary scythe and try to get a grip on myself and my impulse control issues.
Luckily, Iceman cuts in before my traitorous body can do something I’ll regret. “We’re not saying your life doesn’t matter, Delta. But what also matters is getting the Gate under control. We can barely hold it as it is, which is why we’ve been frantically searching for a fifth. You’re here, and like it or not, you took the job. We could really use your help.”
Oh, now they want my help? “Then why didn’t you assholes track me down?” I demand.
He shrugs. “We figured we’d give you some space to think things through.”
I open my mouth to argue about just what in the hell that means, but Jerif cuts me off. “We still need to induct her as a Guardian and figure out what Ring she is.”
Iceman nods. “We need to go to Hell.”
As soon as he says that, it’s like my brain just shuts down. After the day I’ve had, shit, after the week I’ve had, I just can’t deal anymore.
They all keep talking back and forth, but I can’t pay attention. My head is a mess with jumbled and frantic thoughts. I want to run, but I know I’ll just wind up right back here, and that’s if I’m lucky again. Sweep the leg might not be so effective against the next demon attack, and then what the hell will I do? I don’t even know why those green scumbags attacked me in the first place. I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place, and both are trying to fuck me with no lube.
I squeeze the bridge of my nose and breathe deeply so that I don’t do something crazy like scream bloody murder or cry. “I need a shower. And new clothes. And another sandwich. I need...time to process all of this,” I announce, my suddenly small voice cutting through the demons’ discussion like a jagged knife.
I feel like cold hard reality just bitch-s
lapped me across the face, and I’m dizzy and struggling to stay on my feet and to keep from getting hit again. The four demons look over at me, no doubt noting the dejected tone in my voice.
“We can give you anything you need,” Iceman quickly offers, and I nod my head appreciatively.
“I’ll take her up,” Crux offers, only for Jerif to hook his arm out, stopping Crux in his tracks. “Not you. You’ll try to fuck her as soon as you get her alone.”
Crux looks pissed for a half a second, and then he just nods. “Fair enough.”
My eyes widen. I thought Echo was the predatory one, not Crux. “I look like the Swamp Thing with rug burn,” I point out, confused as to how he could possibly be attracted to me in my current state.
Crux’s eyes drag up my body, making my cheeks instantly heat. “Still fucking hot, though.”
Echo steps in. “I’ll take her,” he declares, walking over to me. “Jerif, you’ll just piss her off.”
I look at Jerif. “He’s not wrong,” I say on a shrug.
Jerif rolls his eyes. “Whatever,” he says before stalking off.
“Where are you going?” Iceman asks him.
“To the kitchen. She fucking ate my sandwich,” he replies moodily.
I smirk, and Echo catches the look, his own lips tilting up in amusement. “Come along, Swamp Thing.”
“Don’t call me that,” I say, my eyes bouncing to Iceman as I silently question whether Echo and his advances are really the best choice. But Iceman doesn’t object or do anything to stop Echo from guiding me out of the dining room.
At the last second, I snatch up the bottle of wine on the table, giving the other two a look that just dares them to say anything. They don’t. Smart demons.
I hear Crux whistle as soon as I leave the room. “This is gonna be fun,” he says, his tone cheerful.
I couldn’t disagree more.
9
“Extra towels are under the sink, and there should be a clean robe hanging on the back of the door,” Echo tells me as he leads me into the massive guest bathroom.
