by Dylan Allen
“Ma’am your phone needs to be on airplane mode or off,” the flight attendant says and I smile apologetically and wait until she’s moved on before I send them a quick text.
“Just boarded a flight to Dallas. Cam is at Anges’ house and I’m going to help Fiona get her back. Need you to meet me in Dallas. I’ll text you hotel address when I get there. Going to see Duke first, but I’ll call you when I’m done kicking his ass and taking back the money they stole.” I press send.
I turn my phone off to conserve the battery because in my rush to get on this flight, I left my phone charger at home and didn’t notice until I’d boarded. I’ll buy one as soon as I get to the Dallas.
With any luck, by the time I land, they’ll be done with their visit.
I know Carter won’t like the last part of my message. But I’m not letting that devil steal one more thing from me or anyone I love.
It’s time for him to pay.
I Never Got Over Losing You
CARTER
“You ready?” Phil whispers and clasps a hand on my shoulder. I nod, but don’t look away from the metal door that she’s going to walk through any minute now. “It’ll be okay.”
“What if we’re wrong?” I ask him, voicing my greatest fear and wishing I could take it back.
“Then we’ll know. Either way, we’ll leave here with answers that we need to decide how to move on with Drew.
“Yeah, I know. I just can’t wait for that. I’m sick of living in the shadow of this.”
“If we’re right, then this is just the beginning. And it could get ugly. Are prepared for that?” he says.
I turn to look him so he can see how strongly I feel about this, because it contradicts what I just said.
“If we’re right, I gladly spend the rest of my life and every penny I earn to see her free and to see him pay.”
The clank of the metal key turning in the lock makes my heart trip, and then thud. We both stand as the creak of rusty hinges echoing the whining drone of dread that makes my ears ring as we wait for our first glimpse of the woman who gave birth to us.
She walks in, her head bowed, her hands restrained by cufflinks that are attached to chain around her waist and connected to a chain that leads to restraints around her ankles.
She’s nothing like I imagined. The first things that strike me are how small she is. She’s only a few inches taller than five feet and if she weighs a hundred pounds, it’s only when wet. She’s about the same age as Penn. But where Penn’s hair is still a vibrant blonde, Susan’s hair is completely white, and pulled away from her face in a long, stringy ponytail. It’s so thin on the top of her head that you can see her scalp through it.
None of us speak as the guard leads her to the table, pushes her into the chair with more force than necessary, and attaches one of her wrist cuffs to a metal loop on the table.
She clasps her small hands together in front of her and stares steadfastly down as the guard tugs to make sure she’s secure. The restraints dig into her skin when he does this. I wince. She doesn’t react at all.
I know she’s here because she confessed to a violent crime, but seeing her restrained in such a dehumanizing way makes me angry.
I glance at Phil and see the muscle in his jaw working as he watches, too.
I can’t imagine what her life in here has been. The air is rife with oppression and hopelessness. The process of entering the jail was a clinical stripping away of our privacy. We filled in documents, handed over all the forms of ID they required and were subjected a very thorough full body pat down. Shoes, belts, everything that we might take off in the days before I started paying for Global Access at the airport, came off before we walked through a metal detector. We had to leave our phones, smart watches,
We’ve been here for four hours and I’m itching to leave. I can’t imagine facing a lifetime in here.
The guard turns to address us. “You’ve got two hours. If you want to leave sooner than that, you can use the phone over there to call for a guard. If you want more time, you’ll have fill out more paperwork. It is our prerogative to end your visit sooner and you must comply with all of our directives. You may use the coins in the bag to purchase items from the vending machine for you and the inmate, but you are not allowed to leave any money with her. If we perceive you to be in violation of any of these rules, your visit will be terminated and you will be banned from the facility for three months. Do you understand everything I have told you?”
He says all of this by rote, watching us with a look that is meant to intimidate, and does. We are completely at the mercy of these people.
“Yes.”
“Do you have any questions?”
“No,” we say in unison.
“Have a safe visit.”
He turns and leaves us alone with her.
The door shuts with a clanging thud and the room is completely silent, save for the tick of the wall clock and the hum of the vending machines. Her head remains bowed, her hands clenching and unclenching on 4th table in front of us.
“Do you want anything to eat?” Phil speaks first, picking up the bag of quarters, opens it and pours a stack of change into his hands.
She shakes her head.
“Are you sure?”
She looks up then and my breath catches in my throat. She’s beautiful. Her face is lined, but smooth and clear. Her eyes are the same green as mine. They’re clear and direct as she takes us both in.
“He raised you?” She directs the question to Phil, her expression enigmatic, as she takes him in.
“Yes. He did.”
She nods, and her eyes narrow. “Do you think he’s a good man?”
“No. He’s not. And I’m nothing like him.”
She purses her lips, but her eyes give nothing of what she’s thinking away.
“Because of his wife?” she asks.
“Yeah, she’s a good woman.”
“A stupid woman because she married him.”
“She didn’t know what he really was until after,” I chime in to defend Sophie. We only spent that evening with her, but I know she’s a victim, too.
She turns her shrewd gaze on me. “And you? You were adopted as a baby? Right after they found you?”
“Yes,” I answer solemnly.
“Nice family?”
“Very nice. They love me.” I smile when I remember our little party last night.
She smiles, too. It’s just a slight tilt of the corner of lips, but it softens her face and her eyes lose the guarded veil.
“You’re both so big and handsome. And you’re famous,” she says, sounding proud.
“We have to take pictures so I can show them,” she says, her eyes hopeful.
“Of course. Whatever you want,” I assure her and her grins.
“The ladies didn’t believe me when I told them you’re my son. They’ll be so jealous.”
My heart constricts at the way she calls me son, because in all of this, I’ve never thought of her as my mother. But, I guess it makes sense. The last thing she did of her own free will, before she came here, was give birth to me.
“Thank you for letting us come visit you.”
Her smile mellows, and her eyes mist and she shakes her head.
“Thank you for wantin’ to come. I’ve prayed every day since I’ve been here that one day you would. I know it doesn’t matter now and you may not believe me. But, I loved you… both of you so very much when you were born. Livin’ without knowing what became of you has been the hardest part of all of this.”
Her words are a punch to my gut, and I take a minute to absorb them. We didn’t talk about what she might say outside of the role she played in the Joel Kendicott’s death. I didn’t consider her sitting in jail missing the babies she’d never had the chance to love. It just adds another layer to my determination to see her get justice.
“But, I want to know why you’re here. Why’d you write after all these years?” she asks, her voice growin
g harder, her guard back up.
“I didn’t know I was adopted until I was 18. And my parents didn’t know who you were. I only found out you were my mother two years ago. Phil before that, but..all we knew was that you’d killed your husband, and we thought he was our father.”
“Your letter said you know Wolfe is your daddy. How’d you find that out?”
Everything inside me recoils at the use of Wolfe and daddy together.
“DNA tests after a friend’s research connected the dots.”
“We came because we want to know what happened the night Joel Kendicott died, and you’re the only person who was there. ” Phil says, cutting her off when her mouth opens to ask another question.
Her expression doesn’t change, but her eyes tighten as if she just felt a twinge of pain.
“Didn’t you read the papers?” she asks instead of answering our question.
“There’s very little and in Winsome, no one wants to talk about it,” Phil says, the exaggerated patience in his voice tells me he’s as impatient as I am.
She gives us long assessing looks and then lets out a deep sigh as if she’s putting her better judgment aside.
“I’ve only told this story to one of other person. She believed me. But, I don’t expect you to. I don’t know what he’s told you already and how much you’re gonna tell him…” her eyes shift, and look around the room nervously.
“Neither one of us have a relationship with him. And we want to hear your side. It’s why we came,” I say hoping that by the time we leave today she’ll trust that.
“I have nothing to gain from lying, this is the absolute truth as I know it.” She picks at a hangnail on her finger and bites her lip as she watches us through her lashes, waiting for our agreement before she proceeds.
“Were listening,” I say and wish I could reach over and touch her hand, to comfort her. They made it clear that physical contact was against the rules. And I don’t want to be thrown out before we get the answers we came for.
“Drew Wolfe started raping me when I as seventeen,” she says this with the same casual indifference most of us talk about our day at work. My stomach clenches and Phils’ palms close into fists on the table. But, neither of us speaks or reacts, because even though her voice is indifferent, her body is rigid with tension and her eyes are haunted.
“The first time was the night of my high school homecoming game Junior year. He was in college and home for the game. I was so flattered when he picked me out of all those girls to take a ride with him. Until he refused to take no for an answer. He did it with three of his friends watching. All of them sons of the men who owned everything in Winsome. He didn’t let them touch me, but he let them watch.”
He joined the military and was gone living in Europe when I found out I was pregnant. I didn’t tell anyone who the father was and I prayed he would never find out.”
“But, he did?”
She nods bitterly.
“That monster, Tremaine, told him I was pregnant. He came home right after I’d given birth and he took you. And my parents let him, because he paid them more money than my father would see in a year. I didn’t even know where he’d taken you until I heard he was coming back from France with his new wife and that other baby. I kept quiet about it, I saw you with her…his wife and their other kids. I was heartbroken, but you were alive and so was I. I wasn’t ever going to tell anyone. I was married, working and minding my own business. Her lips twist in a grimace.
“Joel was nice. But, he wasn’t a strong man. Not at all. At first, I liked that because I knew it meant he could never hurt me. And then, Drew took over at Wolfe where Joel worked. And one day, he saw me coming to bring him lunch. And that was it. He wanted me again. And my husband let him have me in exchange for his job and an extra thousand bucks a month. When I got pregnant again - I begged Joel to leave with us. He wouldn’t. He said that Wolfe would pay good money for another baby and he beat me, tied me up and then left me in the house while he went over to the Wolfes to make his demands. I was sick. I didn’t want to let him have another one of my babies. By now, he was the absolute power in town. ”
She shakes her head at the memory, her eyes filling with tears again.
“But…then while Joel was gone, Agnes, Drew’s mother came and cut me loose. She put me on a plane to Albany New York, and gave me five thousand dollars in cash. She sent me to her friends who lived in Schenectady. When I left, Joel was alive and that house was not on fire. I didn’t hear anything about what happened once I left. I was staying with her friends. They took care of me, doctor’s visits and all. They talked about helping me find a job and get settled once you were born. Then, we found out I was having twins.”
You could have knocked me over with a feather. “I’m a twin?”
She nods, miserable and clearly living through the memory of that night. “I was so happy at first. I thought…you know that it was a new beginning. And then, we found out that one of the twins was a girl. That’s when everything changed. They weren’t nice anymore. I didn’t understand. Until, I heard them one night. Talking-to Agnes, and I knew their plans. They said no one could know about the girl. That they’d would take the boy to him…and kill me and frame me for Joel’s death.” She shakes her head, her eyes distant, as if she’s back in time, reliving the memory.
“That’s how I found out they’d killed him. Agnes shot him, set the house on fire and everyone thought I’d run off with someone. She told them, if I ever came back to Winsome, they’d all be ruined.”
I close my eyes against the wave of nausea that threatens to push my breakfast up.
“They didn’t want anyone to know about her because she would have a claim to the money.” Phil says in a wooden voice.
I glance over at him, surprised.
“What?” I ask.
But, he staring at Susan, his face pale and his jaw set. “So, what happened next?” he coaxes in a gentle voice.
“They kept me locked in that room. I gave birth there, with a doctor Agnes brought with her. She sat there, in a chair, watching the whole time. The girl, she came out first. And she was strong and loud and she had a whole head of blonde hair…but they took her away and didn’t even let me hold her. Agnes left and said she’d back be back in a week. I knew she was coming for you. I was so scared. The lady, turns out she wasn’t really Agnes’ friend, at least not to the point where she was willing to help her kill me. She let me go and told me to run. She gave me clothes, and shoes and you.”
She looks at me, longing and regret in her eyes.
“You were smaller than your sister, but perfect. I wasn’t going to make you live a life on the run. I just wanted to make sure they couldn’t find you. I was still bleeding after giving birth, and I was tired. I left you at the church in Ithaca, it was as far I could walk and I knew that devil would never think to look there.Then I went back to Texas and turned myself in.”
“Why did you do that?”
“I wanted them to know that I was alive and knew their plans. I thought maybe I could find a way to get my daughter back. In exchange for my silence. Drew came to the jail and told him what I wanted. He laughed. Said she was with a nice family, but if I did anything but plead guilty, they’d kill her. I felt so stupid. But my babies were all alive. Phil you were with his pretty French wife. I knew she loved you. So I changed my plea, and avoided death row and them. And this is where I’ve been.”
My lungs seize and my head starts pound. I can’t speak. I just stare at her. This is worse, so much worse than I imagined. What the fuck is wrong with these people? I don’t know how Beth survived.
“Did you say, East Winsome?” Phil’s question comes out as a croak.
“That’s what they said. The lady, the one who’s helping me, she thinks she might have found her, though. They’re doing DNA tests now.”
“What lady?” Phil asks.
“Her name is Serena Milne,” she says her name with affection and awe.
&nb
sp; We exchange bewildered glances. “And who is she, exactly?”
“She’s with the FBI. She’s been working on this case for almost four years. She’s close to catching him she’s got someone on the inside who’s helping her get all the dirt of them. She’s gonna bring Wolfe and Tremaine down.”
“The FBI has been investigating The Wolfes? Are you sure she’s telling you truth?” Phil asks, his skepticism clear.
“She said you wouldn’t believe me.” Susan crosses her arms over her chest, and leans away, her eyes growing guarded again.
“No, it’s not that. We just…this is a shock. Do you think she’ll talk to us? Your FBI lady?” Phil asks.
She relaxes a little, but her nod is wary. “That’s up to you. She knows you’re here today and gave me permission to tell you about her. I can let her know you want to talk to her and she’ll contact you.”
“Can you give us her number?” Phil asks.
“No. I don’t have a way to reach her because she’s hardly ever alone and doesn’t want to blow her cover. She always calls me. Every other day. So, I’ll tell her. But she’s not just trying to bring them down. She’s trying to clear my name.”
This is all more than we could have hoped to learn when we came. Agnes Wolfe is a monster and I can’t wait to take her down along with her son.
“We’re glad that you’ve got someone else trying to help you. We’re going to do everything we can to get you out of here and get you justice.”
Her lined face goes slack for a second and then, her composure disappears as surprise and relief seem to overwhelm her. “You…you believe me?” she asks in a whisper.
“Of course,” we say at the same time, shocked that she’s asking.
Her green eyes, the same shade as mine, shine with tears before she covers her face with her hands and starts to sob.
She’s had her whole life stolen by these fuckers and I’ll spend every last dime I have to see her free.
Goddamn Drew Wolfe.
