by Amanda Leduc
To Catherine Hernandez, my doula in the world of loss.
To my family—Raymond and Debra Leduc, Allison, Adam, Areyana, and Adelyn DiFilippo, and Alex Leduc and Aimee Leduc, for always being there with love and support and unbridled enthusiasm for reshelving my books in prominent bookstore displays and other guerrilla marketing tactics.
To Sitka, the Dog of Doom, who escaped her crate one day at five tender months of age and proceeded to tear apart, and then pee on, a draft of this manuscript, thereby inuring me to any and all future criticisms of it. (You were right; there was still much more work to be done. Thank you for exercising editorial judgement when I needed it the most.)
And to Liz Harmer, who told me that one short story about centaurs wasn’t enough, that she needed to know more about them.
Grief is the hardest mountain I have ever climbed. I am grateful beyond words that I haven’t had to climb it alone. Thank you to Richard and Jo-Ellen De Santa, Meghen De Santa Brown and Ken Brown, and Tim De Santa and Genelle Diaz-Silveira, for your love, laughter, and memories, and for opening your homes and arms to me as we walk this land of loss together. I cherish your fierce and brilliant hearts.
Finally, to Jessica De Santa. Dearest best friend and sister of my heart, who recognized me instantly that day in our St. Andrews dorm residence all those years ago, who believed in me before I had the strength to believe in myself. It was the privilege of my life to have you as a friend, and the dark howl that is life without you is matched only by the impossible, extraordinary grace of having known you in the first place. You were—you are—the greatest gift. Miss you now, tomorrow, always.
I hope I’ve done you proud.
AMANDA LEDUC’s essays and stories have appeared in publications across Canada, the US and the UK. She is the author of the non-fiction book Disfigured: On Fairy Tales, Disability, and Making Space (Coach House Books, 2020) and the novel The Miracles of Ordinary Men (2013, ECW Press). She has cerebral palsy and lives in Hamilton, Ontario, where she works as the Communications Coordinator for the Festival of Literary Diversity (FOLD), Canada’s first festival for diverse authors and stories.
