“You’re not fine!” Milo insisted with wide, worried eyes.
“It’s just… girl stuff.” I tried to shrug it off, and I couldn’t tell if he saw through it or not.
It was a perfectly reasonable explanation that while I was upstairs, alone with a very attractive guy, he had said or done something to offend me, and that’s what had upset me.
In fact, that would be much more plausible than what had actually happened, which was that I had become so entranced with somebody that I almost let him slaughter me.
And I was pretty sure that this attempted-murder had happened not because he hated me, but because he was attracted to me.
“Like what?” Milo narrowed his eyes.
“I don’t wanna talk about it.” I just shook my head and looked away.
“What’s going on?” Mae shouted suddenly, and my heart soared at the sight of her standing in the doorway. She rushed over to me, placing her hands her firmly on my shoulders to look in my eyes.
“She was upstairs with Peter,” Jack explained. Mae’s expression changed from one of worry to shock, and she turned to look at Jack sharply. “Nothing happened.”
She softened, looking sympathetically at me. Before she pulled me into a hug, it finally dawned on me.
Whatever had happened or almost happened with Peter, they knew it. Ezra had sent me upstairs, knowing exactly what would happen. Meaning, he had sent me to my probable death.
What the hell was going on here? And why didn’t I feel as terrified as I should? In fact, as Mae stroked my hair and murmured words of comfort in her soft British accent, I felt nothing but safe. What was wrong with me?
“I’m okay, really,” I insisted, and she finally released me.
“I hope you mean that.” She smiled sadly and pushed strands of hair back from my face, and then straightened up.
“I do.” I nodded firmly, and Jack playfully ruffled my hair, as if to reaffirm that everything was okay.
“And who is this?” Mae turned her attention to Milo. Just looking at her made his anxiety disappear, and he returned her open smile.
“I’m Milo, Alice’s brother.” He looked a little embarrassed by the look she was giving him, and I knew the feeling. She reached out and touched his face gently (his chubby cheeks were hard to resist) and grinned warmly.
“I’m Mae, Ezra’s wife. You’re so much cuter than I’d thought you’d be.”
“Thanks?” Milo replied unsurely.
“Have you had a tour of the house yet?” Mae had already started looping her arm through his, and she’d missed her calling as a real estate agent. Milo shook his head no, and she laughed a little. With that, she led him away on a tour.
As soon as they were out of earshot, I turned to Jack and hissed, “What the hell happened?”
“You tell me,” Jack countered evenly, and I might have overestimated how much he knew.
“You have an idea of what happened, don’t you?” I asked. He didn’t answer me, so I continued, “You have suspicions. There was something that you were afraid happened.”
“I wasn’t afraid,” he answered quietly, but the fog of Peter was wearing off and I could feel how unnerved he really was.
“Jack, I trust you,” I whispered fiercely. “Don’t betray that trust.” An amused but pained expression flitted across his face, and he shook his head.
“He’s not gonna hurt you, Alice.” Then he turned to look at me. “None of us are.”
“Then…” I trailed off, trying to understand what was happening. “But Peter told me to go before he did something very bad to me.” Jack let out a long breath through his teeth and stared off at some point above my head.
“Well… I guess we all just have different definitions of what hurting you means.”
“Was that meant to be comforting? Cause it wasn’t,” I snapped, crossing my arms on my chest.
“Let me put it this way: You are a top priority for my family.” Jack said, but he’d finished the conversation.
He still had the plastic guitar hanging over his shoulder, and he unpaused the game and clicked out of the two-player level he’d been playing with Milo. He started playing a song, and when I asked him what that meant, he ignored me.
I flopped back on the couch next to Matilda and stroked her long, white fur. Everything with Peter had exhausted me. My skin flushed with embarrassment at the thought of running into him. I had made a fool of myself, and he was in trouble with Ezra.
But even with that, I still really wanted to see him. My very being wanted to be near him again, and it would be worth anything.
As predicted, Mae completely enchanted Milo. They seemed made for each other. She was all motherly love, and he was all motherless child.
When they made their way into the living room, Milo went back to playing video games with Jack. I curled up on the couch with Mae, resting my head on her lap, and let her play with my hair.
“I know you’re hurting now, but things will make sense, love,” Mae murmured, pushing my hair from my eyes. “Everything happens for a reason.”
The nights of barely sleeping had caught up with me, and the soothing comfort of Mae was too much. I drifted off to a sleep filled with dreams of Peter. They were probably the best dreams I’d ever had.
When I woke up, I felt good, but incredibly disoriented. The living room was dark, and I was alone, except for Matilda, who snored loudly on the floor next to me.
I moved a little on the couch, preparing to start calling for Jack or Milo, but then I heard voices talking softly nearby. And then I heard my name, so I stopped moving and strained to hear.
“Well, we obviously can’t leave Alice alone with him anymore.” That was Jack, trying to protect me from Peter.
“No, I agree.” Ezra’s deep voice sounded like a lullaby when he kept it low. I imagined that it would be tranquil to have him sing me to sleep. “But they’ll have to eventually.”
“But she’s not ready for it,” Jack said. “He’s not ready for it.”
“You’re not ready for it,” Ezra countered.
“Maybe not,” Jack relented. “But he feels too conflicted for anything to work. He’s just making everything harder on her than it needs to be. I mean, you saw her today.”
“It’s incredibly painful, rejecting it,” Ezra calmly said. “Peter’s showing a tremendous will just going against it, but eventually, he’ll give in. It’s impossible. Whatever pain he thinks he’s avoiding, this is far worse.”
“How do you know?” Jack asked him suspiciously. “You never rejected it.”
“I did at first,” Ezra said, then backtracked. “I tried to ignore it, and that was brutal. But I saw Peter after what happened with Alice.”
“And?” Jack pressed Ezra when he didn’t say anything.
“He’s not taking it well,” Ezra said simply.
“How much longer will this go on?” Jack asked, and I couldn’t help but notice a hint of sadness in his voice.
“Not much longer.” Ezra breathed deeply. “We’ll just have to keep an eye on both of them.”
“Ezra!” Mae called from another room, sounding farther away than them. “Come here! Milo’s beat me at chess twice already! You’ve got to try against him! He’s amazing!”
“I’ll be right there!” Ezra shouted back to her, then spoke quieter to Jack. “You understand?”
“Yeah,” Jack said reluctantly.
I didn’t hear Ezra’s footfalls when he walked away, but that didn’t surprise me. Jack’s silhouette appeared in the doorway, and I quickly closed my eyes, pretending I was sleeping.
Matilda whimpered as he walked past her, and he patted her head before sitting on the couch next to me. As soon as I felt the couch moved, I stirred as if I was just waking up.
“Did you sleep okay?”
“Yeah,” I nodded and moved so I was sitting on my knees facing him. My voice sounded thick from tears, but I hoped he would think it was from sleep.
“Hey are you o
kay?” Jack sounded sad and worried. My eyes adjusted to the dark, and I could map out the concerned expression on his face.
“Yeah, just tired.”
“I gathered that when you passed out.” He tried to keep his tone light, but he struggled.
What Ezra had said had gotten to him too, and when he felt anxious, I felt it even worse. It wouldn’t be much longer before I started to cry.
“You sound upset,” I said.
“Nah, I’m fine,” Jack insisted, shaking his head in the darkness.
“Jack, promise me that I’ll be okay. You know I’ll believe anything you say, so just promise me that everything will be okay.” My voice sounded more nervous than I would’ve liked.
“I know you can’t understand right now, but you’ve got nothing to worry about.” Then he put his arm around me and pulled me close to him, resting his chin on the top of my head. “I’m upset because I care about you too much. The problem’s me, not you. You are gonna be better than fine. I promise.”
“You’re right. I don’t understand,” I said. He stroked my hair, and I moved my head on his chest. Then I realized something odd. “I can’t hear your heart beat.”
“Just listen harder.”
Pressing my ear closer to his chest, I listened hard, and, there it was, very faint and incredibly slow. I wasn’t timing it, but it couldn’t have been beating more than ten or twenty times a minute.
“It’s so slow!” I jerked my head back so I could look at him. “Are you okay? You’re not having a heart attack, are you?”
“No,” Jack laughed, this time sounding more like himself. “That’s just the way my heart beats.”
“But that’s not the way it’s supposed to be.” I furrowed my brow, trying to understand. “That’s not how my heart beats.”
“I know.” He was mildly amused, but my confusion always seemed to entertain him. “I can hear your heartbeat.”
“How? You’re way over there.” He was actually sitting right next to me, but he was still too far away to hear. “You’re hearing isn’t that good.”
“It is for this one thing.” He reached out and put his hand gingerly on my throat.
At first, I didn’t understand what he was doing, but then I felt his thumb stroking my jugular vein. He was feeling my pulse, and a look of sheer pleasure passed across his face. A warm hunger radiated from him that I didn’t grasp.
“Jack!” Ezra’s voice broke into the room, and Jack instantly dropped his hand, as if he’d been caught with his hand up my shirt instead of on my throat. “It’s late. Milo’s tired. Maybe you should take them home. Unless you don’t feel up to it. In which case, I’d be more than happy-”
“No, I’ve got it,” Jack replied gruffly and stood up.
Ezra gave Jack a disapproving look as we walked out of the living room, but Jack refused to look at him. For me, Ezra gave a reassuring smile and said he hoped that I would come back soon. Mae hugged me tightly at the door, but she hugged Milo even tighter.
During the car ride home, Milo rattled on endlessly about what an amazing house Jack had and how great Mae was and all the fun things he’d done while I had been asleep. I rested my head against the cold glass of the window, and found that for once, I had very little to say.
I still didn’t know what Jack and his family were, but they definitely couldn’t be trusted. Peter wanted to hate me because for some reason, he might kill me. He’d been rude and kept me at a distance because he didn’t want to hurt me. He was trying to protect me.
Despite this, I loved Jack and Mae and even Ezra, and I definitely felt something strong for Peter. And I knew that if being with them meant that I would die, I would still see them again. It would be worse to live without them.
When Milo and I went up to our apartment, I felt dazed. Part of it was coming to terms with my impending death, but most of it was just an after effect of being with Peter. He was like a drug, and I was still coming down from the high.
I flopped down on the couch while Milo buzzed about the kitchen. Being over there had the opposite effect on him, and he was totally energized.
“Aren’t you hungry?” Milo asked from the kitchen. I heard pots banging, but I just buried myself deeper into the couch. “I’m starving. You know what’s weird? We were over them from five o’clock at night until after two in the morning, and I never once saw them eat or drink anything.
“In fact, when I wanted something to drink, Mae had to rummage around the kitchen for a glass and some water,” Milo continued, without pausing for a breath. “You know, I don’t even think they have any food in that house. They must order a lot of take out. Which is weird cause Mae really seems like the Suzie Homemaker type.”
Milo continued to ramble on but I was starting to drift to sleep. But then it all clicked. I understood fully what Jack and Peter were.
But before I could actually manifest the word and put it all together, I fell asleep, and lost it entirely.
- 12 -
Dreamlessly, I’d managed to sleep for thirteen hours on the couch. Whatever happened with Peter, it had been tantamount to overdosing on sleeping pills.
I stretched slowly, trying to work out the kinks and cricks in my back and neck. Milo sat at the computer, and he just smirked at my struggle to wake up.
“Morning, sunshine,” Milo chirped. He still seemed hyper from the night before.
“Shut up,” I grumbled.
Already, Peter filled the tired fog of my brain. Like some kind of hang over, my skin hurt and my head throbbed dully. When I breathed in deeply, I could still remember the way he smelled, like apples and something familiar that I couldn’t quite place.
“What are you doing?” Milo jolted me out of my daydream. He looked at me like I had totally lost it, so I stood up and decided that I had to get myself in gear.
“Nothing,” I told him absently.
Walking to the bathroom, I pulled my phone out of my pocket. It was almost four in the afternoon, so maybe Jack would be awake by now. I shut the bathroom door, but before I could even actually go to the bathroom, I had to text Jack first.
I need to see you today. I text messaged him, and then started the agonizing wait for him to respond.
After I showered, and he still hadn’t responded, I started getting a nervous pit in my stomach. Maybe I had done something wrong, and I wasn’t going to be allowed over there anymore.
Or maybe Jack had just grown bored with me. It was probably irritating him that I fawned over his brother, and I would hate me if I were Jack.
When he’d been talking to Ezra, they had said that I couldn’t be alone with Peter. Maybe that meant that I couldn’t be around him at all anymore. Somehow, I had ruined everything.
I couldn’t take it anymore, so I decided to call Jack, and find out what was going on. When I got his voicemail instead of him, I was near tears.
“Jack, it’s just me. Alice. Um… I just wanted to apologize for last night. I know that I… overreacted to everything, and I’m really sorry. I just… I really want see you today. We need to talk. Okay. So… just call me back, I guess. Bye.”
Going through all the routine of getting ready, I managed to dress myself and apply makeup, but none of it felt real. It felt like some shell of myself going through the motions. My mind was completely locked onto the way Peter smelled and the way he looked through me and how my body felt pulled towards him.
When I had finished getting ready, I just sat on the couch, staring off into nothing, and tried to figure out what I would do if I never talked to Peter or Jack again.
“What’s going on with you?” Milo still sat at the computer, but he couldn’t ignore my zombie stare anymore. I shook my head and swallowed hard, so he got up from what he was doing and came over to sit next to me. “What happened last night over there?”
“Nothing,” I mumbled.
“Alice, come on.” He gave me a hard look, the one that said I-know-you-better-than-anyone-so-there’s-no-point-in-lying. �
�Did Jack’s brother do something to you?”
“No.” I bit my lip and wondered if he had done something to me. Why couldn’t I get him out of my head? It was as if he had crawled underneath my skin but not in a bad way. “I just really like him. Like more than I’ve ever liked anyone. It’s completely… visceral.”
“Did he blow you off or something?”
I wasn’t sure if Peter sending me out of his room was rejecting me or done to protect me… or maybe both. My phone felt very heavy in my hand, and I looked down at it, willing Jack to call me and fix everything.
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “Jack hasn’t texted me back. I think maybe he’s mad at me or something. I think I did something wrong.”
“You did not do anything.” Milo was so incredulous that I looked over at him. “They love you over there, like crazy love. Mae talked non-stop about you, and Jack looks at you like you walk on water. It’s a little sickening actually.”
“Really?” That made me feel a little better, but Jack still hadn’t called, so I wasn’t over-the-top better.
“Yeah.” He nodded, then looked down at my hands and wrinkled his nose. “Your nails are chipped really bad. Why don’t I repaint them while you wait for Jack to wake up?”
“You think he’s still sleeping?” I asked hopefully, and let my brother take my hands.
I had left my make up bag splayed out on the coffee table, and Milo leaned over and grabbed the nail polish remover, cotton balls, and dark blue nail polish.
“We left at like two-thirty in the morning, and everybody in that house was wide awake. Plus, he’s some rich, young playboy that doesn’t have a job. What does he really have to get up for?” He did have a point, and I finally started to relax.
“Considering this isn’t the first time you’ve painted my nails, I probably should’ve figured out sooner that you were gay,” I teased him. Milo had been painting my nails for as long as he could paint anything. When I really looked back at life with him, there were a lot of obvious hints that I should’ve picked up on.
“Probably,” he agreed.
After he finished painting my nails, he sat with me on the couch. He talked a little bit about how much he liked Mae and everybody, and that he hoped that I wouldn’t mind if he went back over there again. Honestly, I didn’t mind at all. It was nice being able to be around him and Jack at the same time.
My Blood Approves Page 13
