“As the years passed, and my training was almost complete, the old Ulgog became mysteriously ill, and in his old age he was unable to battle the sickness. When the time came, he passed through to the other side to join our ancestors in the Undying Lands. Once his body had been properly buried, I then began preparation in both heart and mind, to gain entrance to the realm of the Mother. It was there that I was given all the memories of those Ulgog who had passed before me. And the name I once bore, but can no longer remember, was stripped from me, as I became only Ulgog.”
Looking up to the sky, he squinted against the bright sunlight that pierced through the trees towering high above. Groaning, he pushed himself up using his staff as he clutched me to his breast. He leaned against it as he breathed heavily, the exertion of the journey almost seemed too much for him, but he was determined to carry on. It seemed as the higher he climbed, the slower his feet carried him. Again, and again he was forced to stop to catch his breath and regain his strength. I do not know if it was due to the physical exertion, or the heaviness in his heart that made him drag his feet on this long journey.
Each time he gained his strength, the Ulgog continued to climb the summit of the mountain slowly. “There are many stories of those we have come to know as the Winged Ones, who came from above with wings upon their backs to teach mankind of their ways; however, there is only one that I have learned regarding a child fathered by them, much like you yourself, being born to our kind. It is an old story, which frightens many still.” The old man continued.
“Now the Mother and her consorts created all that we know and see, from the air we breathe to the water we drink, giving life to that which was created, while nourishing that which lived. When all was perfect, they sat back and admired their work, but one thing was missing, there was nothing but themselves to experience their creation. All was for not.”
“Then an idea was formed. Why not create a being similar to themselves, yet not their equals? The Great Mother, who was their leader, took up a handful of clay, and forged it into a being. She gave it a head, a body, two arms, two legs, two eyes, two ears, one mouth and one nose. When she breathed upon it, her breath sparked a light within her creation, causing a stir amongst her peers, for within was something that no other creature possessed. A spirit.
This spirit was completely invisible and everlasting, its only destruction was by the Sacred Ones themselves. Even more curious, was although this being contained a soul within the body, and both were dependent upon each other, neither was exclusive for the other to survive – Even after the physical death of this being’s body, it was simply a shell that housed the spirit in the physical world. The spirit could continue to live on in the realm of the Sacred Ones. And after the Sacred Ones marveled at Her creation, she called out to it and said, “Awake Ada-pa.” And with that, the first man was created.
“Knowing that all creatures needed a mate, She created another being from clay. Though this one held many similar features, it was still different, and thus became the first woman. And this pleased the Sacred Ones, and they once again were able to marvel at their own genius.”
“As time passed, something happened, and the woman displeased the Mother in some fashion, and for that she was sent away, and never allowed to return.”
“Ada-pa, saddened by his plight, grieved for once again he was alone. The Great Mother took pity on him, and this time, She constructed a mate from his rib. Once again, the Sacred Ones were pleased, and all seemed well.”
“But all was not well. Again, woman displeased the Sacred Ones, but their wrath was for not for the woman alone. Because she was born from the man’s rib, she carried a part of him. Her weakness was seen as his weakness. And both were banished from the house of the Sacred Ones, forced to wonder and live off the land, as the other creatures were forced to do.”'
“As time passed, a new marvel was known. The woman gave birth to two children, and the ability to reproduce became known. Creatures could now mate, and their offspring could populate the earth. But when the children came forth from the womb of the woman, something was amiss. One child was born perfectly healthy and was a near image of his father. The second however seemed to be of a different being, a child fathered by a consort of the Mother, the Winged Ones. Soon it was known that this was the reason for their being cast forth, and thus the fall of man was understood.”
Ulgog’s breathing became labored as sweat poured from his brow, and he leaned against a rock to take a moment’s rest. Shifting me in his arms, he pulled a water skin from beneath his cloak and took a long draught from its mouth. Satisfied, he gently tipped the skin against my lips were a few drops of water wet my tongue. I cast my head from side to side disgusted by the lack of taste and began to whimper for the milk of my mother. He once again reached inside his cloak and pulled out a small piece of smoked meat and carefully inserted it into my mouth.
It was nothing like the sweet milk I craved, but it appeased my hunger as I sucked on it with earnest. Still dissatisfied, I pushed the meat out with my tongue. Ulgog chuckled and placed it back within some hidden pack of his cloak. Once again, we set out and he continued to tell me his story.
“As the years passed, the twins grew, neither understanding the reason for their banishment from the place of the Sacred Ones, they followed Ada-pa and his wife’s hope of placating the Mother. Both labored hard in their efforts, but it was only the child of Ada-pa who seemed to gain the attention of their creators. The child of the Winged One was said to have never known his true parentage and therefore did not understand why his brother received so much more attention than he.
Note there never was a tale of the child’s wings, as you might expect, and for this reason I cannot truly say you and he were the same. Either way, only one thing is known for sure. The child of the Winged Ones became jealous of the favor his brother held. A seed of hatred began to blossom, and soon it seemed to take root in his very being.
“When once again the Mother passed over the Winged One’s child for his brother, he became enraged and struck his brother, killing him. Realizing his error, he sought to hide his deeds, but the Sacred Ones knew of his treachery. He was cursed by his parent’s makers to walk the Earth for all time.”
We had now reached the top of the summit. Respectfully Ulgog approached a single tree that seemed to stand sentinel over the cliffs below. Before the tree stood a large altar made of stone slab where the Ulgog stopped and began to offer once again the prayer he had whispered to me the night before. I had long since closed my eyes and was imagining in my mind’s eye the story the Ulgog had put forth. Startled, I opened my eyes and began to look around me.
The winter had long stripped the tree bare, but its massive branches formed a canopy high above. Gently using his forearm, he wiped the snow from atop the altar. Taking off his cloak he laid it down, creating a cradle of softness to hold me. I turned my head to snuggle against his cloak wanting more than anything for the lullaby of his words to continue. Shivering he turned to face the tree.
Peeking over my wrapping, I saw a single knot within the tree’s confines which housed a small carved statue of a large naked woman with well-endowed breasts. The Ulgog bowed slightly to the carved figure and began to reverently take it from its small confines. Gently placing the figurine next to me, the old Ulgog lifted me up and placed me where his Mother figurine had been housed.
“I think all creatures are made by the Great Mother for a reason. Either good or bad, all have a purpose in her creation.” I could feel the turmoil that clouded around him, and in a desperate tone, almost begging, he gently whispered to me. “If it wasn’t for the fear of the tribe, I would have never allowed this to happen. I am not sure you really understand me, but I pray to the Mother that you can and that one day, you will forgive me for this. There is something in you no one could ever know and understand. By her will, I hope to be given the chance to know you more.”
A tear trickled down his cheek as he began to fuss with my cov
ering, tucking it in. He then began to find pieces of grass that were hidden beneath the blanket of snow and packed it around me hoping to add to the fur’s insulation. Although I soon became warmer, it was nothing compared to being held closely, warmed by someone’s touch.
When no more could be done, a sob welled up inside his throat causing him to cough as tears flowed freely. He quickly turned around, headed back down the mountain. I listened as he shuffled away until I could hear it no more. Now, I was truly alone.
DAY OF JUDGEMENT
The remainder of the day passed. As night drew near, temperatures already cold, began to drop. I shivered in my rabbit’s fur and began to cry. Although I was a child of what the Ulgog had called the Winged Ones, I was still a newborn baby unable to defend myself. I cried out of hunger, I cried out to be changed, I cried out because I was cold, but I mainly cried out for myself.
I wanted to once again be held close by my mother, and for the kindly Ulgog to come back and take me home. I wanted to hear a voice soothingly talk to me so I could be lulled to sleep. Even if I had no real understanding of their meaning, the words created pictures in my mind. After a while I realized my cries were fruitless, that no one would be coming. Eventually I did cry myself to sleep. Part of my hope was that I would die in the night. From Ulgog’s story, death seemed to be the ending to the world and, if this was the way of the world I had just entered, I wished no part in it.
When I became overcome by exhaustion, I feel into a dark slumber, with visions of the Ulgog’s tale filling my dreams, never once knowing that animals of prey searched for me by the scent I left upon the wind, or the shadow that stood silently in the thicket waiting for one of those dangers to make a move toward my hiding place. And when that shadow drew closer, cloaked in mist to look upon my face, I had no sense that something greater than myself was near. As light began to peek over the horizon, the shadow faded.
Almost as if something was amiss, I awoke to the sound of the wind rustling in the trees, their branches creaking as they swayed. The bitter cold had frozen my tears from the night before while I had slumbered. I was unable to open them to watch the dawn. I shivered violently trying to warm myself once again, but by then I was too weak to even cry with misery.
When the sun began to climb above the horizon, I listened to the birds begin to wake. Finally, a distinct sound of the snow being crunched beneath someone’s feet could be heard making its way up the mountain. Although I could feel the presence of someone, I still was unable to open my eyes. I began to whimper as a newfound strength flooded through me. I heard a giant sigh of relief, as I was taken from within the confines of the tree. I was wrapped in a heavy thick fur, and I felt a warm breath blow across my face. After the third time I was able to open my eyes and saw the loving face of the old man smiling down upon me.
“We must quickly get her back to the village. She must be cold and hungry from her ordeal. I have never known a child to survive a night. I will vouch that she stayed here.”
When I turned my head to see whom he had spoken to, I saw the face of my mother as she hastily took me from Ulgog’s arms and held me close. The Ulgog then placed another heavy cloak around my mother, allowing for her to keep me even warmer. Holding me firmly, she began to feed me from her breast as Ulgog carefully replaced the statue of the Great Mother back into her holding place within her tree before heading down the mountain, my mother following behind.
Both seemed to be deep in thought, for neither one spoke, but I had become too focused on my need for warmth and food to pay attention to them. Soon the swaying of my mother’s hips and the full belly from my feeding allowed me to drift off to sleep. This time I wanted not to die, but to live in the contentment I felt now and forever.
BRAIN SCIENCE
You may be asking yourself how is it that a baby remembers everything from the moment they were born.
Scientists say that humans only use 10% of their brains. Within the last decade, there was an experiment involving the Koren helmet, a helmet that was able to create a “God-like” experience among its wearers. This helmet was able to unlock the portion of the brain that is thought to have once been used by the Creator and humans to communicate with each other.
Since these studies have been conducted, my kind have searched for the meaning of our own vast understanding. We have proven that we use almost 65% of our brain and have a high development within our cerebral cortex.
The access to this area also seems to provide greater access to our own memories, as well as others. By doing this we are able to “In Speak”, which is the ability to understand and speak any language. If we chose to, we can also read all the memories of what came before, simply taken from the minds of others.
We have come to conclude through these studies that this area of the brain is what our forefathers used to communicate with our makers, but also a connection to the universal subconscious.
However, we feel that we are limited compared to our fathers due to our mortal mothers, and that there is a possibility that if we had the full function of our brains, we would not only be able to access an individual person’s knowledge, but also the knowledge of the ancestors who came before them, the memories imprinted in their DNA.
Broken Child
TORMENTED
I leaned over the edge of the small pond staring at my own reflection. My skin had long since taken on a small sheen from all the time I had spent outside as winter had made way for spring. My blond hair had grown long in 10 years, and tumbled down my back in ringlets, framing my thin face and accentuating my cheek bones. The color or my eyes had changed as well, becoming a piercing shade of bright blue. Although I didn’t know it yet, people always seemed to be unsettled by my gaze, for they changed color depending upon my mood, and their claim was always that I could almost look inside and see their soul.
My nose was a little large, but I could find no fault with it combined with the rest of my features. Although I wasn’t the prettiest of the girls in my tribe, I wasn’t unattractive either. But as I sensed the wings on my back, I knew that it didn’t matter how I looked. As long as I had wings, I would never be attractive in anyone’s eyes.
Ruffling my feathers in annoyance, I dropped the water skin into the stream, causing my reflection to ripple, and drew it up, tying it with a leather thong around its rim. As I bent down to draw another bagful, I heard a large group of children coming toward me. My ears turned bright red and I continued to look straight at the water. Holding my breath, I began to pray to the Mother that they would just leave me alone. I heard them step close behind me. I was nothing to them, except something to torment. I was less than human, not even an animal.
They began to speak amongst themselves but made sure that I could overhear their taunting. I began to quake with fear wondering what my punishment for would be for living today.
“Look it’s an ugly girl!”“Girl? I don’t see an ugly girl. I just see a large disgusting bird.”
“Birds fly, but I’ve never seen it fly.”
“Mama said it was a curse from the Sacred Ones.”“Mama said....,” one of the boys retorted. The other children laughed. “If you’re so scared,” he continued, “then go back to your mama.”
“My father said it is a monster. Maybe we should just kill it!” said another voice I recognized as the daughter of Molog, my cousin Khata.”
“Kill it!”
“Kill the monster, kill the monster!” Khata exclaimed merrily.
Khata was well-liked by other children. She had long brown hair and the coldest blue eyes you had ever seen. Secretly, I always thought it was because she must be hollow on the inside as she was always the one to instigate the tormenting, something I’m sure my Uncle encouraged. She also seemed to be the one who took the most pleasure in my misery.
It felt like she would imagine ways to further humiliate me. Although I was not fully human, I shared the same range of emotions, and in this too, she sought to “dehumanize” me. It seemed like
every time they committed themselves to making me feel small, a part of what made me human seemed to die within.
Deep down, I would imagine in detail the most horrific death I could inflict upon them. The one who seemed to dominate my morbid thoughts was my cousin, for my hatred for her was really rooted in the hatred of my uncle.
Each time I would imagine their deaths, I would be left feeling guilty, which in turn fueled the fear that deep down, I was really the monster they claimed me to be, just as in Ulgog’s story of Winged Ones son.
Ulgog had always told me that the other children were simply trying to get a reaction from me, and if I ignored them, they would leave me alone. So once again, I tried to ignore them, but like every other time before, my body betrayed me. My heart began to race, the blood rose to my face as my cheeks started to flush.
Tears welled up in my eyes, threatening to spill over. The children began to jeer each other. As I watched from the corner of my eye, one boy picked up a rock and began tossing it up into the air. I watched, mesmerized as each time the rock reached the top of the arc and fell, he would catch it with a swipe of his hand, smacking the rock in the center of his palm.
He seemed to sense my gaze, and locked eyes with mine, a malicious grin spreading across his lips. A strange buzzing filled my ears, and although his lips never moved, his voice boomed inside my mind. “If I kill it, surely Molog will honor me?”
He ceased to toss the rock as a look of confusion crossed his face. Somehow the other children sensed something was amiss, and became silent, watching the two of us closely. Terror stricken, I watched as the boy’s expression turned to a sneer of pure hatred. Pulling back his arm, he reached back before the snap of his wrist brought the missile forward. The world seemed to slow down as I watched the rock sailing towards me, before it finally slammed into my shoulder.
Cjiena: Beginnings Page 2
