How kind he was, to invite me to finish my own story. I stole the last two sticks without apology and muttered something about it being hard to watch my siblings before lapsing into irritated silence. Between this and his vague complaints about the government while we waited to be seated, I was almost done.
"I completely understand. It's like when I spot my younger brother at the gym," Luke insisted. I stared at him, disappointed by the universe’s timely reminder that someone could be gruffly handsome and also an utter idiot. I let him gab despite the fact that being a gym rat with his younger brother was nothing like watching the twins grow into their own combat experience by joining the Bureau—which he might’ve figured out, if he’d bothered to listen. As Luke talked, he absently rolled the sleeves of his shirt up, showing off a tattoo of a glock. Okay, my mind was already starting to wander.
Unfortunately, it wandered back to something I’d hoped never to experience again.
"I wonder how long I've been here," Kane muttered. It sounded like he was whispering in my ear. I stiffened, fried cheese dangling from my mouth. Why was I hearing his voice again? It had to be in my head, since Luke simply droned on.
My mind is trying to torture me. Kane didn't sound panicked now; his low voice was thoughtful. "These plants go on forever. I've never seen ones like these before."
As Luke explained the difficulties of besting his personal deadlift, I reasoned with myself. Perhaps I was losing my sanity. Or perhaps this date was so bad, my brain had revolted and started hallucinating to escape from reality.
Was it really Kane? If so, he must have been contacting me through some kind of magic. I’d heard him during the battle, and now, I was hearing him as if he was calling on a phone to chat about the strange place he was in. Plants he’s never seen before, and they go on forever… Did that mean he was in the Leftovers, or the Immortal Plane? Should I try to talk back to him? No, that didn’t work last time.
I shivered involuntarily. If I let my brain carry me into these fantasies, I was going to get nowhere. I couldn't let my mind trick me like this.
And yet, his voice was there. It was the Kane I'd grown to care about. As if he’d never left me during the meld, only to vanish forever.
"I'm worried about the kids," Kane said softly. "How long was I out?"
I couldn't hold back the snort from the question. That was rich. I knew it had already been nine weeks, because it seemed like every day reminded me he wasn't here. Walking into the mess hall or training rooms, I still expected to see him. A part of me knew that he probably would’ve stayed in the Immortal Plane rather than help the Bureau, but still… For some of the wildest months I’d ever experienced, he’d been there every day, one of the few constants in my life. I missed the sound of his real voice in my ears.
The voice faded, and suddenly, all I could hear was Luke's endless story and the soft sound of pop music over the restaurant's speaker system. Luke hadn't noticed me spacing out at all. And at this point, even if he had, I was sure that I didn't care anymore.
I didn't know what had happened to Kane, but I remembered what had happened right before. I’d been with him on the invasion of the soul farms during the attack on Itzarriol; we’d been leading a group of rescued harvesters to the river when the meld hit. I could almost feel the ghostly touch of the harvester kids as they clung to me, lamenting about the meld while not fully understanding what was happening. I hadn't known what was happening either, but that was the thing about being an adult—I’d pretended to be okay because the kids needed that.
Kane was the one who’d grabbed my shoulders, looked into my eyes, and confirmed that I wasn’t hallucinating as the Mortal and Immortal planes fused. I remembered the firm, bracing grip of his hands, and later, the sensation of his strong arm brushing against mine as we stood beside each other and debated our next step in the chaos of the meld.
And then, there had been another wave of instability—the beginning of the fix, I now knew. Kane had turned toward me, as if sensing what was going to happen to him. His hand brushed mine. I'd seen Lyra and Dorian hold hands plenty of times, during good times and bad, but it seemed too gentle a gesture for Kane, who was relentlessly sharp and prickly. I’d never been one for holding hands, either. I wasn’t even sure why I’d spent so much time thinking about it.
But at that moment, when the meld started to get even weirder, he’d pressed his hand against my palm. Soft, but sure. His lips had moved, but I hadn’t been able to catch it, as Mortal Plane buildings shifted into Immortal landscapes and back. A hot desert air surrounded us. The harvesters groaned in the distance, mourning in fear, grief and awe.
I didn't usually need a hand to hold, but in that moment, Kane's gentle touch was everything. The warmth of his palm grounded me in the otherworldly drift of the meld like an anchor, and instead of looking at the world as it got blurrier and dizzier around us, I’d stared into his eyes. I’d never noticed the gold flecks in his dark eyes before. They were like the souls that drifted through the Immortal Plane.
And then, just like that, he had been gone. His warmth had vanished. The harvester kids were also gone. The world snapped back into place, and I was left with most of the vampires and humans alongside me. They weren’t Kane, but they were alive and safe.
I’d found myself stumbling in the shallow part of a Mortal Plane pool, the hot air suddenly giving way to cold, icy water around me. The vampires were lucky enough to land on the lawn nearby. As I sloshed to the edge, trying not to startle the mortal family staring in horror from their kitchen window, I told myself not to worry. Kane could handle himself. The harvesters couldn’t survive in the Mortal Plane for long and had likely been transported back to their home plane. Surely, I told myself, Kane was with them, soothing myself with the idea that at least he was home, too.
Even if I would never get to see him again. The gates were closed and he had no reason to come back to this plane, which he’d always seemed to hate. I’d told myself that was fine.
After the Bureau picked us up from San Francisco, I’d eventually met up with Bryce and Lyra along with more vampires and human survivors. The vampire scouts managed to get in touch with our allies in the Immortal Plane. Nobody had seen Kane. He wasn't among the survivors that had come back from the river, although many harvesters had merely left of their own accord since the battle was over. Nobody knew what had happened to him, or the few others who vanished.
I’d held back tears with the firm belief that if anyone could survive something like that, it was Kane. He was like me—too stubborn for his own good, and certainly too stubborn to die that way.
Even before then, my relationship with Kane had been complicated. I cared for him deeply. The moment Lyra had stumbled across us during the party at the Hive... She still didn't know that had been our first and last kiss. The first and only time we’d given in to the attraction that sizzled between us every time our bodies pressed against each other in a sparring match.
And it wasn’t just the physical that drew me to him. I wouldn't call what I’d felt for him love, but for a while there, the feelings had been intense. Kane was scrappy, opinionated, bossy—a hustler and a fighter. Looking at him was like looking at the other side of my own coin. I’d never expected to find that in anyone, let alone a vampire.
The funny thing about grappling with someone is that it takes out any of the extra variables. I knew as soon as I started sparring with Kane that he got me. He knew where I was going to place my feet and my fists. He was quick and crafty. I was hard to impress, but he’d done it. And he could take all the trash I liked to talk and return it without getting huffy.
My mind drifted back to the kiss: one searing-hot moment where our bodies had run away with us. The way he’d thrown me effortlessly up against the wall, his hard muscles pressed against mine like we were sparring, until his lips met mine hungrily.
At the time, I’d been pissed with Lyra for barging in and interrupting us. But Kane… it seemed like he regretted kis
sing me at all.
Now, with a clearer head, I was sure that things would never have worked out between us. We were too alike in certain ways, and neither of us had the kind of conflict resolution skills that Lyra and Dorian liked to prance around with.
And even if we could get around that, there were other obstacles. Halla, for one—one more overprotective mother I didn’t need in my life. Not to mention that my own beloved family would lose their marbles if I brought home a vampire. Kane was a vampire, and I was human, and while the interspecies romance didn’t bother me, Kane’s life was in the Immortal Plane, and I’d never been keen on long-distance relationships.
Plus, I had to be honest with myself: Kane was ridiculously gorgeous and could have any girl he wanted. Wouldn’t he want some amazing, superpowered, model-lookalike vampire woman to rebuild his life with in the Immortal Plane?
Whether or not it was romantic, I still thought what was between us had been special. It had certainly been something entirely new for me. There were few people in any plane that I trusted so deeply, and that was probably the reason his loss kept hitting me so hard.
Finding him is Lyra's job, now, I reminded myself. Just like I trusted Kane to survive, Lyra and Dorian were the people I trusted most to find him. The somber resignation hit me just as Luke started waving his hand in front of my face, rolling his eyes. Oops. I'd been caught. And I didn’t even care.
Even if there had been no future for Kane and me, Luke was nowhere close to the vampire I’d lost.
"I didn't mean to bore you," the man across the table huffed. He crossed his arms and pouted.
"Well, you did," I replied easily, and got up to throw a ten-dollar bill onto the table. "That should cover my one-third of the appetizer."
He narrowed his eyes slightly and curled his lip. "Another great date for the books. A girl who needs to make up stories about killing monsters just to make herself sound interesting."
I met his gaze. Yeah, I was done. "I couldn’t care less if you think I’m interesting."
I sauntered out of the restaurant, slightly annoyed about wasting my time, knowing the scent of fried food wouldn't leave my clothes until I washed them. I barely thought about Luke once he was out of my sight, but the voice... the voice worried me. Was I going crazy? Maybe I should've taken Clemmins’ offer to see a Bureau counselor about my grief. The psych department had given us a small briefing when we came back about processing our trauma over the torments we’d experienced in Itzarriol.
I snorted, remembering the flowery tone the counselor had used as he talked to us. My life was rough-and tumble, and I liked it that way.
I just wished Kane hadn't gone away. That was all.
Maybe my sanity was slipping. After so much time in the Immortal Plane and seeing the kinds of tortures and battles I had, it was reasonable to expect some side effects. Still, even when I’d encountered the rulers' sway, even when I’d been deep in the worst Immortal prison there was, even during the meld, I hadn't heard voices in my head. It was so clear and familiar, it felt like I was hearing Kane’s very thoughts—but that was impossible, right? I chalked it up to a side effect of the meld, for now. I needed to put it aside and focus on my work. There was plenty for me to do.
I held out hope, though, to someday see Kane safe and sound again.
Ready for more?
Book 8: Darkwilds releases June 24th, 2020. Pre-order your copy now to continue reading!:
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Bella x
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Read more by Bella Forrest
DARKLIGHT
Darklight (Book 1)
Darkthirst (Book 2)
Darkworld (Book 3)
Darkblood (Book 4)
Darktide (Book 5)
Darkbirth (Book 6)
Darkfall (Book 7)
Darkwilds (Book 8)
HARLEY MERLIN
Harley Merlin and the Secret Coven (Book 1)
Harley Merlin and the Mystery Twins (Book 2)
Harley Merlin and the Stolen Magicals (Book 3)
Harley Merlin and the First Ritual (Book 4)
Harley Merlin and the Broken Spell (Book 5)
Harley Merlin and the Cult of Eris (Book 6)
Harley Merlin and the Detector Fix (Book 7)
Harley Merlin and the Challenge of Chaos (Book 8)
Harley Merlin and the Mortal Pact (Book 9)
Finch Merlin and the Fount of Youth (Book 10)
Finch Merlin and the Lost Map (Book 11)
Finch Merlin and the Djinn’s Curse (Book 12)
Finch Merlin and the Locked Gateway (Book 13)
Finch Merlin and the Forgotten Kingdom (Book 14)
Finch Merlin and the Everlasting Vow (Book 15)
Finch Merlin and the Blood Tie (Book 16)
Finch Merlin and the Legend of the Luminary (Book 17)
Persie Merlin and Leviathan’s Gift (Book 18)
Persie Merlin and the Door to Nowhere (Book 19)
THE GENDER GAME
(Action-adventure/romance. Completed series.)
The Gender Game (Book 1)
The Gender Secret (Book 2)
The Gender Lie (Book 3)
The Gender War (Book 4)
The Gender Fall (Book 5)
The Gender Plan (Book 6)
The Gender End (Book 7)
THE GIRL WHO DARED TO THINK
(Action-adventure/romance. Completed series.)
The Girl Who Dared to Think (Book 1)
The Girl Who Dared to Stand (Book 2)
The Girl Who Dared to Descend (Book 3)
The Girl Who Dared to Rise (Book 4)
The Girl Who Dared to Lead (Book 5)
The Girl Who Dared to Endure (Book 6)
The Girl Who Dared to Fight (Book 7)
THE CHILD THIEF
(Action-adventure/romance. Completed series.)
The Child Thief (Book 1)
Deep Shadows (Book 2)
Thin Lines (Book 3)
Little Lies (Book 4)
Ghost Towns (Book 5)
Zero Hour (Book 6)
HOTBLOODS
(Supernatural adventure/romance. Completed series.)
Hotbloods (Book 1)
Coldbloods (Book 2)
Renegades (Book 3)
Venturers (Book 4)
Traitors (Book 5)
Allies (Book 6)
Invaders (Book 7)
Stargazers (Book 8)
A SHADE OF VAMPIRE SERIES
(Supernatural romance/adventure)
Series 1: Derek & Sofia’s story
A Shade of Vampire (Book 1)
A Shade of Blood (Book 2)
A Castle of Sand (Book 3)
A Shadow of Light (Book 4)
A Blaze of Sun (Book 5)
A Gate of Night (Book 6)
A Break of Day (Book 7)
Series 2: Rose & Caleb’s story
A Shade of Novak (Book 8)
A Bond of Blood (Book 9)
A Spell of Time (Book 10)
A Chase of Prey (Book 11)
A Shade of Doubt (Book 12)
A Turn of Tides (Book 13)
A Dawn of Strength (Book 14)
A Fall of Secrets (Book 15)
An End of Night (Book 16)
Series 3: The Shade continues with a new hero…
A Wind of Change (Book 17)
A Trail of Echoes (Book 18)
A Soldier of Shadows (Book 19)
A Hero of Realms (Book 20)
A Vial of Life (Book 21)
A Fork of Paths (Book 22)
A Flight of Souls (Book 23)
A Bridge of Stars (Book 24)
&n
bsp; Series 4: A Clan of Novaks
A Clan of Novaks (Book 25)
A World of New (Book 26)
A Web of Lies (Book 27)
A Touch of Truth (Book 28)
An Hour of Need (Book 29)
A Game of Risk (Book 30)
A Twist of Fates (Book 31)
A Day of Glory (Book 32)
Series 5: A Dawn of Guardians
A Dawn of Guardians (Book 33)
A Sword of Chance (Book 34)
A Race of Trials (Book 35)
A King of Shadow (Book 36)
An Empire of Stones (Book 37)
A Power of Old (Book 38)
A Rip of Realms (Book 39)
A Throne of Fire (Book 40)
A Tide of War (Book 41)
Series 6: A Gift of Three
A Gift of Three (Book 42)
A House of Mysteries (Book 43)
A Tangle of Hearts (Book 44)
A Meet of Tribes (Book 45)
A Ride of Peril (Book 46)
A Passage of Threats (Book 47)
A Tip of Balance (Book 48)
A Shield of Glass (Book 49)
A Clash of Storms (Book 50)
Series 7: A Call of Vampires
A Call of Vampires (Book 51)
A Valley of Darkness (Book 52)
A Hunt of Fiends (Book 53)
A Den of Tricks (Book 54)
A City of Lies (Book 55)
A League of Exiles (Book 56)
A Charge of Allies (Book 57)
A Snare of Vengeance (Book 58)
A Battle of Souls (Book 59)
Series 8: A Voyage of Founders
A Voyage of Founders (Book 60)
A Land of Perfects (Book 61)
A Citadel of Captives (Book 62)
A Jungle of Rogues (Book 63)
A Camp of Savages (Book 64)
A Plague of Deceit (Book 65)
An Edge of Malice (Book 66)
A Dome of Blood (Book 67)
Darklight 7: Darkfall Page 45
