“You’re not rushing, are you?” Ben was still right beside her, still with his arm around her shoulders. But the way he had about himself he was only being friendly. At least that’s how his attention felt.
“Rush? For a sorority, you mean?”
“Yeah, of course.”
“No. I’m too busy. I do theater and acting, that kind of thing.”
“Oh, right.” He gave an exaggerated nod and took a long drink from his beer. “Your dad’s that producer. He’s in town making a movie. Someone in math told me about him.”
“That’s my dad.” Andi would’ve bet the guy didn’t know about her family’s missionary background. And in this setting, she was okay with that. She wanted to turn the attention away from herself. “You’re in this frat, then? Is that right?”
“For two years.” He raised his beer and across the room a couple guys saw him and did the same. “Mayhem and madness, but somehow I’ve survived it.” He pointed to her beer. “Your drink’s getting warm.”
“Oh,” she looked around the room for a quick exit, but there was none. If she was going to drink, she wanted to do it on her terms, not because some guy was pushing her.
“It’s good stuff,” he grinned at her, still shouting to be heard. “If you don’t want it, I’ll take it.”
Andi studied him, and she felt herself relax. Ben wasn’t trying to harm her. He was only being friendly. It occurred to her that in the stuffy hot frat house she actually was thirsty. More thirsty than she’d realized. She’d come here to have fun, after all. Jake had told her she should have a drink, and she’d agreed. Otherwise right now she would be home in her dorm waiting for his call.
Besides, no one ever went to hell for drinking a beer, right? At least she didn’t think so. She was young and single and these were supposed to be the times of her life. So what if she drank a few beers? She smiled at Ben. “I’ll drink it. I was too busy talking.”
“Good. We frat guys like to take care of the ladies.”
Andi laughed because she didn’t know what else to do. Her heart was thudding inside her chest, making her feel sick to her stomach with anxiety. What was she doing? She didn’t need to drink beer just because she was at a frat party. Wasn’t that what she’d always told her mom during her last two years of high school? A few times she’d been invited to a real party, one thrown by the kids of the local public high school. But every time her mom told her she couldn’t go.
“Andi, there’ll be drinking at those parties. Not only is that against the law, but bad things happen when kids get together and drink.”
Always Andi would say the same thing in response. “Just because other people are drinking at a party doesn’t mean I have to.”
But here she was with an open beer in her hand. She looked down at the slightly foamy amber liquid sloshing around near the top of the can. What if it made her sick? What if she drank it and threw up right here in the kitchen? What if it was wonderful, instead? When she couldn’t take the struggle another moment, she lifted the can to her lips and took a long sip. The liquid tasted awful and felt funny in her stomach. She waited a minute to see if she was going to suffer any strange side effects, but there was just one.
Her heart had settled down.
“Good stuff, huh?” Ben moved her away from the trash can of beer to a slightly quieter corner of the kitchen. “Tell me about your friend. Guy or girl?”
“Guy.” She brought the can to her lips again and took two long sips this time. It didn’t burn so badly as the first time, but the taste was enough to make her shudder. She was glad Ben didn’t notice.
“Boyfriend?” Ben’s attention was moving past friendly and into interested.
“You could say that.” Andi liked having someone to talk to, but she wasn’t interested in Ben. He had a sloppy beer belly and wild blonde hair. In a movie about frat houses, Ben would’ve been the rowdy, crazy one.
“New boyfriend?” he raised his brow hopefully.
She laughed and took another drink from her beer. “You could say that.” What was the taste? There was something familiar about it, but she couldn’t figure out what. She drank more, nearly finishing off the can, and it hit her. It tasted like the smell of dirty shoes. She shuddered again, but as she did, she noticed a warm feeling spreading through her veins. Not only was her heart relaxed, but her anxiety had faded completely. The room swayed a little and she steadied herself against Ben’s arm. “Woooah … sorry.”
“Hold on there.” Ben caught her and helped her find her balance again. “Don’t tell me you’re feeling one little can of beer?” He gave her a helpful look that said he’d take care of her. Then he lifted his can to his lips, tipped it completely upside down, and guzzled the contents in a single effort. He crumpled the can as he lowered it and then shot it across the kitchen into the sink. “Score!” He raised both hands, signaling a touchdown.
Andi didn’t feel dizzy, not really. But everything about the party seemed easier, more enjoyable. “Hey, Ben … could I have another?”
“Coming right up.” He left her side, grabbed two beers, and by the time he was back at her side he had popped the tops of both. “There you go.” He feigned a mock look of seriousness. “Now this new boyfriend of yours … he’s a loser right?”
She wasn’t sure why, but the way Ben asked the question seemed funnier than anything Andi had heard in a long time. She started laughing and when she couldn’t stop, she handed her open beer back to Ben. He put his arm around her again, patting her back in a teasing attempt to keep her from choking. She stood up slowly and leaned on Ben again. “Why … why did you ask that?”
“Because,” he handed her the beer back, and he moved in closer than before. “He let you come here alone.”
Yeah. Andi hadn’t thought about it that way. Sure he had to run lines, that was fine. But he shouldn’t have wanted her to come to the party alone. What else could that mean except that he didn’t care if she wound up in the arms of someone like Ben. She frowned. “I need to think about that.”
He helped her lift her new beer to her lips. “You’ll need this. Drinking and thinking are great friends.”
Again she began to giggle, drinking long sips of beer between bouts of laughter. “How come you’re not this fun in math, Ben?”
“Math?” He raised his beer up and again received a similar response from a number of guys around the kitchen and living room. “You can’t drink brewskis in math. I mean, how much fun is that?”
“True.” Andi almost didn’t recognize her own voice. Had she really just told this guy that not much fun could happen without beer? She lifted the can and took another long drink. “Another thing is … you don’ laugh as much.”
“Uh-oh.” Ben covered his mouth with his hand, his alarm not in the least bit serious. “Someone’s slurring their words.”
“Me?” She hiccupped and began to laugh again. “Not yet.” This time it was Andi who raised her beer. If Jake was going to be this late, then she could have fun with Ben. “This is only my secon’ one. No slurring yet.” She made a dramatic sweeping motion with her beer, like something she’d seen in a pirate movie once. But the action threw off her balance again and she wound up in Ben’s arms. Before she could lose her beer on the floor, she drank down the rest of it and handed the empty can to him. “Yikes. Sorry ’bout that.”
“No worries,” Ben whispered the words near her ear, and while he was there he kissed the side of her neck. “I’ll take care of you, Andi. You can trust me.”
She struggled to right herself, and this time there was no doubt. The room was moving. She opened her eyes wide and blinked a few times. Had that really happened? Had Ben just kissed her? Whatever he’d done, it felt wonderful. She leaned against him, willing the room to stay in one place. She tapped on his beer can and grinned at him. “That stuff ’s stronger ’an it looks.”
“You still thirsty?” He was closing in on her, and in all the room she could only hear his voice. “Just one mo
re, and then you’re done. Okay? We’ve got lots.”
Andi had never felt this way before, but she knew what was happening and it both terrified her and thrilled her. She was drunk and Ben was taking advantage of her. She had expected that if she let herself get into a situation like this she would hate everything about it. The party, the drinking, and most of all herself. Instead, despite her deep fears, the entire experience was wonderful and overwhelming, filling her senses and making her wish the moment would never end. “Yes, Ben.” She felt her eyes grow softer, more seductive. “One more. Jus’ one.”
He opened the beer and dumped some of it out, at least that’s what it looked like. Then he grabbed a bottle of something and poured it into the little opening. Or maybe she was imagining that. Either way, he brought her the beer and as she was drinking it, he led her outside. The taste was different, but she couldn’t figure out why. As they walked through the crowd, she managed to stay on her feet pretty well on her own. She leaned on Ben, but she wasn’t falling down drunk. That wouldn’t have been fun. Outside he led her to the edge of the crowd, where there was less noise and people. “This is better.” He put one arm around her waist and pulled her close, so their bodies were touching. With the other hand he finished his beer and tossed the empty can onto the lawn.
Andi closed her eyes and rested her forehead against Ben’s chest. “You can breathe better out here.”
“You’ll breathe even better when you finish this.” Ben lifted her beer for her and with his help she drank down half of it.
“Hey! You lucky dog, Ben … I knew you’d score her.”
Andi opened her eyes and looked toward the voice, but the edges of things were blurry. Wait … she remembered that guy. Lucas, right? Or was it Rufus? The guy who had talked to her when she first got here. For some reason she wasn’t offended by what he said. She raised up her beer the way she’d seen Ben do, and she gave a happy shout to the guy. “Yep … Ben’s a lucky one!”
“Yeah …” Rufus sounded disappointed. “You can say that again.” A bunch of guys laughed and hit Rufus on the back and the group of them headed for the house.
“Here.” Ben held her beer to her lips again and helped her finish it. “There you go.” He threw the can behind him, and now that his hands were free, he slipped both of them around her. He was warm, and in the cool night it felt good to cuddle against him. For a little while it seemed like they were dancing, swaying beneath the late September stars.
Andi rested her head on his chest again. She was dizzier than before, glad Ben wasn’t suggesting a fourth beer.
“Come on, I wanna show you something.” He slipped his arm around her waist and led her across the street onto campus. At least it seemed like campus, but Andi wasn’t sure because everything was moving, same way the house did earlier. They found a spot on the grass near some trees and he pulled her close again, his arms tight around her waist. “All we need is music.” Ben whispered close to her ear.
She struggled to keep her eyes open. The fun feeling from before was fading, because now she didn’t feel like laughing. She felt like sleeping and something wasn’t quite right with her stomach. A queasiness was coming over her like a plastic bag. “Wha’ happened to the party?”
“We don’t need it.” Ben’s voice was kind.
“You’re a nice guy, Ben … thanks for lookin ou’ for me.”
“I told you I’d take care of you.” He cupped the back of her head and brought his lips to hers just once. His kiss, his light touch, all of it felt nice and it took her mind off the dizziness. “I’ll take care of you all night, Andi.”
She wasn’t keeping real good track of time, but pretty fast his kisses grew stronger, more urgent. “Hey … slow down there. It was better when we were dancin’.”
“I’ll show you what’s better.” His voice was still kind, but he was rougher now. Before she could stop him or move away, he had his hands up the back of her sweater. He was holding her tighter than before, too tight.
“Stop it.” She shouted the words, at least she thought she did. But he was breathing too hard to hear her. “Ben! I said …
stop it.”
“Your boyfriend’s not here, Andi … just go with it. I can get you another beer if you want.”
Another beer? The thought made her stomach tighten and convulse. She needed to be free of him, because what was he trying to do? He felt wild and reckless and out of control, and suddenly she was terrified. “Stop!”
But he kept kissing her, kept moving his hands against her, and at some point the wetness on her face wasn’t only his kisses but her tears. “Please … stop!”
There was the sound of feet on pavement and then someone shouted. “You okay over there?” The voice wasn’t familiar, and Andi wondered what sort of scene they must’ve been making. She blinked and tried to focus. A guy and girl were standing there, and they both looked alarmed. Andi rubbed the palms of her hands beneath her eyes and bent over, trying to make herself breathe normally again.
Ben was angry, she could feel it in the way he was seething beside her. “Get lost, everything’s fine.” He took a step back and glared at the couple who had dared to interrupt them.
“She told you to stop, so stop already.” The guy took a step closer to Ben. Then he turned to Andi. “You want him to leave you alone?”
Andi had stopped crying, but she was still wildly dizzy. She nodded and tried to answer, tried to say yes, of course she wanted Ben to go. But instead she swayed and braced herself against a tree, adjusting her sweater and trying to figure out … what had just happened. Then before she could find the words, she felt her stomach convulse into a mass of knots, and without any other warning, she lurched forward and threw up across the grass and on Ben’s shoes.
“Sick.” Ben stepped away from her, wiping his feet on the damp ground.
A second wave of vomit followed and it knocked Andi down to her hands and knees. She gasped for breath, certain she was dying. She tried to call out for help, but again her stomach heaved and she could focus only on taking her next bit of air. She could barely lift her head, but she wanted to make sure Ben wasn’t coming after her again.
She shouldn’t have worried.
Ben was scowling at her, staring at the mess she’d made. “You’re disgusting.” He glared at the couple. “I’m leaving.” He wiped his feet on the grass again. “You happy?” As he walked away toward the frat house, he yelled back over his shoulder. “Shoulda known you were only a tease, Andi Ellison.”
Her body was trembling, her breathing still labored and shaky. She looked at the couple and felt her eyes fill with tears again.
“You okay?” The guy came a step closer. “Want us to call someone?”
Whether it was the vomiting or the harsh reality of what had just happened, Andi felt a slight sense of control returning. She sat up on her knees and squinted at the bright lights of the party across the street. Then she wiped her hand across her mouth and shook her head. “I can do it.” She fumbled for her cell phone and found it in the back pocket of her jeans. The couple waited, hesitant. “Really … it’s okay. I’m fine.”
After another minute of convincing them, the couple finally continued on their way. Andi sat up against the tree trunk and closed her eyes. Who could she call? Bailey would be so disappointed in her, and her parents … there was no way she could call them. Then suddenly it occurred to her.
She could call Cody.
After what he’d told her the other night, he would understand about drinking. Him more than anyone else. She opened her eyes and tried to focus on her cell phone. After a few pathetic tries, she managed to dial his number. The nausea was coming back, so she tried to hurry.
“Hello?”
Shame and fear caught her breath, and for a few seconds she couldn’t answer.
“Andi? Is that you?” Wherever Cody was the background was quiet. He’d probably been home studying—the way he said he usually spent his Friday nights. What would he thi
nk of her now?
She coughed twice and tried to clear her voice. “It’s me. I … I drank too much and I nee’ your help.”
“Where are you?” His tone was immediately serious and full of alarm.
“The … yellow frat house. Across a’ street.” She was crying again, and she barely had time to hear Cody tell her he was on his way before she jerked forward and threw up one more time. When her body stopped convulsing, this time she lay on a clean patch of grass and waited. She wasn’t sure how much time passed, but the next thing she knew, Cody was standing over her, his hand on her shoulder.
“Come on.” He helped her to her feet. “We need to get you home.” He slipped his arm around her waist and steadied her. “What in the world are you doing here, Andi?”
She wasn’t sure if his voice was more disappointed or worried for her. “I … I was supposa’ meet Jake here.”
“Jake Olson?” Cody was a strong support for her, keeping her moving. “I thought you learned your lesson about him last week.”
“He said he was sorry.” She wanted to look up at him, stare into those gorgeous eyes and see if he was real or an angel sent to rescue her. But she could barely keep her head up. Besides, she was too humiliated to look at him now. She wiped her hand across her mouth again and wondered if she’d gotten her sweater messy.
“So what happened? Did someone hurt you?”
“He was trying … but I … got sick on him …”
Cody stopped every several steps and helped her find her balance again. “That’s crazy, Andi. You could’ve been in big trouble.”
“I … I was in trouble … Some couple came over or else … he woulda …” she started crying again. She stopped and put her arms around his waist. “Hold me, Cody … I need you to hold me.”
For a few seconds he let her cling to him that way, but then he tenderly removed her hands from his waist. “You need to get home.”
“No … I need you. A guy like you woul’ never give me all that beer.” Her shame knew no limits, because what was she saying? She was being moved along again, so she clung to his side. She didn’t care how desperate she sounded. “I need you, Cody. You have to believe me.”
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