Don't Let Go

by Jaci Burton

  He gave her a smile, then went back inside to work. She left him alone and spent time with Sam and Molly and the other women, catching up on their lives.

  At the end of the workday, some of the guys went out and grabbed barbecue for dinner, and they set up outside, where Sam and Reid had constructed a fire pit. They had plenty of chairs and soda, beer, and water for everyone, so by the time the barbecue had arrived, everyone had a spot to sit and eat.

  Megan had set aside a chair for Brady, so after he filled his plate, he joined her. He was unusually quiet, but she chalked that up to him being tired--and probably hungry--after a long day.

  She leaned into him. "I brought dessert."

  He was digging into some ribs, so he just nodded and kept eating. When he didn't ask, she did.

  "Aren't you going to ask me what I brought?"

  He took a long swallow of water. "I figured it was something good."

  She grinned. "It is. I think you'll really like it."

  "I'm sure I will. These ribs are good. I think I'll go get a second helping. You want something?"

  "No, I'm fine. Thanks."

  She watched him wander off to the serving table, refill his plate, then get waylaid by Deacon. So he stood there, ate, and talked. She finished her meal and dumped her plate in the trash, then went to find Sam, who was in her makeshift sorta-kinda kitchen, just staring.

  "What are you doing?"

  Sam looked over at her as if she just got caught doing something she shouldn't. "Imagining."

  "The cabinets look amazing."

  "They do, don't they? I've already got the completed kitchen in my head. And thanks to everyone who came today, we have walls. Soon I'll have flooring and countertops and bathrooms."

  Megan put her arm around Sam. "It won't be long now. I can already picture your shiny kitchen. And can I say I'm super jealous of all your cabinet space?"

  Sam turned to her. "Your kitchen freaking rocks. I love your stove and your amazing island."

  "It does. But I can still covet yours."

  "Thank you. I covet it, too. And someday soon--not soon enough, mind you, but soon--it'll be done."

  Megan laughed, and they went outside. She searched for Brady, but didn't see him. He was probably off with one of the guys, inspecting their work.

  "I heard there was dessert," Luke said. "And I don't mean to be pushy or anything, but Emma texted."

  Megan's lips curved. "And she wants to know when you're coming home?"

  "Something like that."

  "Then we need to get to dessert pronto. Can't keep your wife and baby waiting."

  Megan broke out the raspberry tarts and the peanut butter chocolate cupcakes she'd made, making sure she set a couple aside for Brady.

  He came back outside with Reid and Deacon about ten minutes later. Fortunately, she'd made enough of the desserts that there were plenty left for them.

  "I was afraid I'd missed these," Reid said, hugging Megan, "and then I'd have been pissed."

  "I made sure to guard them against second and third comers. But Luke had to leave, and I packed him a cupcake for Emma."

  Reid bit into one, then made a moaning sound. "Allowable."

  Brady snatched a cupcake as well and polished it off in about three bites. But he didn't gush about it like he typically did with her desserts.

  Not that she expected praise or anything. She didn't. He obviously enjoyed it, since he all but inhaled it, and that was good enough.

  She wandered off to help Sam clean up the remnants of dinner. The party was breaking up, so they folded up the chairs and put them away in the storage shed, then carried off the trash and put it in the back of Reid's truck. By the time they finished, only Reid, Deacon, and Brady were left.

  Megan grabbed a bottle of water and took one of the few remaining seats in front of the fire pit.

  "I mentioned to Brady that I saw a commercial spot for sale not far from here," Reid said to her. "I thought it might be a good spot for him to consider for his painting business."

  She looked over at Brady. "Oh, that's interesting."

  "Yeah," Brady said.

  Which was all he said, so she didn't say anything more until they found themselves alone at her place later.

  "What did you think about Reid's suggestion?" she asked as they curled up on the sofa together.

  "His suggestion about what?"

  "That commercial space."

  "Oh. Not much."

  "So you're not interested?"

  "I don't know. I don't want to talk about it."

  Wow. Was he ever cranky. Maybe he hadn't gotten enough sleep the night before, or he'd put in a hard day's work today. Whatever it was, she decided not to push him on anything tonight.

  Maybe tomorrow he'd be in a better mood.

  Chapter 29

  MEGAN FINISHED UP at the bakery for the day. She closed up, cleaned up, then took the day's receipts to the bank.

  She stopped in at Emma's house to visit her and the baby and stayed for a few hours.

  "Are you anxious to get back to work?" she asked.

  Emma looked at the gorgeous baby in her arms. "I do miss the vet clinic, my staff, and all my furry patients. But I have to admit it's going to be hard to leave Michael when it's time to go back. The only good thing is having the nanny here, and living so close to where I work, so I'll be able to come home at lunch and nurse him and visit."

  "I think you'll do fine. And you still have some time at home."

  Emma nodded. "I'm lucky that I have a great doctor taking care of the clinic while I'm on maternity leave. At least I don't have to worry about that part. But for now, I'm going to enjoy every second I have with this little guy."

  After Megan left Emma's, she ran a few more errands and stopped by Loretta's bookstore to look for a few titles she'd had on her list. The place was busy, which was a good sign.

  "Business is booming, Loretta," she said as the two of them shared a cup of coffee on one of the sofas in the back.

  Loretta smiled. "Things are going well. I'm happy with the business. Someone bought the old secondhand store next to me, and I hear that's going to be renovated soon."

  "Oh, really? What are they going to do with it?"

  "I haven't heard yet. But hopefully whatever it is will drive new customers to the bookstore."

  By the time she left the bookstore, it was late. Late enough to stop by Carter's shop to see Brady. And okay, she might have planned her day to coincide with the end of Brady's workday. Their conversations over the past week had been short. She'd invited him over for dinner last night, and he'd said he had work to do. Not unusual, of course, since he often did night work on motorcycles, but it was more his tone of voice than anything that concerned her.

  Something was bothering him, and she wanted to make sure he was okay.

  She went in through the front door. Molly and Carter were there, and it looked like they were about to head out.

  "Big plans for tonight?"

  "Oh, yeah," Molly said. "We have a hot date at the grocery store."

  "Hey, it's pasta night," Carter said. "I love pasta."

  "See?" Molly said. "It's all about the romance."

  "You bet it is. Oh, how about garlic bread? We're making garlic bread, right?"

  Molly rolled her eyes. "Let's go, Carter. Now I'm really hungry. See you later, Megan."

  Megan laughed. "You two have a great night."

  She made her way back to the shop. Roxie greeted her. Brady had trained her well, and now she was off leash and didn't wander beyond the perimeter of the garage.

  "Well, hello, sweetheart. What are you up to today?"

  She swooped Roxie up into her arms and cuddled her close, then made her way over to where Brady was sitting by the old metal desk in the corner of the garage.

  "Paperwork?" she asked.

  He looked up at her. "Oh. Hi. Yeah. Totaling up the bill for this one."

  She looked over at the finished product, a dark blue Ford
pickup that, to her, looked brand-new, even though it wasn't. "You can't even tell it had any body work done."

  "That's the idea."

  She waited while he worked on his numbers. Then he finally turned in his chair and looked up at her.

  "So . . . what's up?" he asked.

  "I just came by to see you. Maybe you want to have dinner?"

  "Sorry. Someone's bringing a bike by tonight. I have to start on it right away."

  "Okay." Something was definitely off. He was being gruff. He hadn't gotten up to hug her or kiss her, and that was typically the first thing he did.

  She thought about leaving, but maybe he'd just had a rough couple of days. She could smooth it over. "You need to eat. I could grab something for us and--"

  "I'm fine. I really just need to move this car out, sweep the place, and get ready for the bike."

  In other words, You're in my way, Megan.

  "Oh. Well, okay. I guess I'll get going. See you later?"

  "Sure."

  She went over to him and leaned down to brush her lips across his, depositing Roxie in his lap. "Call me, okay?"

  "Yeah. I'll walk you out so I can lock the door behind you."

  She made her way to the front door and turned to face him. "Is everything all right, Brady?"

  "Everything's fine. Just busy, ya know?"

  "Yes. Of course. I'll talk to you later."

  She walked out the front door, turning to wave at him while he locked it.

  He didn't smile. Just locked the door and closed the blinds.

  Okay, then. That felt like a definite shutdown. And it made her stomach knot up.

  What was wrong with him? With them? She didn't remember saying or doing anything to upset him.

  But now she was upset. And she needed him to open up to her, to tell her what was bothering him.

  Maybe tomorrow morning, if he didn't stop into the bakery for coffee and a roll, she'd steal a few seconds away and bring something to him.

  And then they'd talk.

  Because they really needed to talk.

  *

  BRADY MADE HIS way back into the garage. He rolled the Ford into the parking lot and texted the customer that his truck was ready to be picked up. Then he went back into the garage and started to clean up.

  Roxie had climbed onto her blanket in the corner, and he could swear she was glaring at him.

  Yeah, he'd treated Megan badly, and he'd been cold to her. But he needed some distance so he could figure out these weird feelings that had surrounded him ever since that day at Reid's.

  He felt like the walls of this town were closing in on him and he couldn't breathe anymore. All these thoughts of buying property and land and houses and committing to Megan and settling down were only making it worse.

  He needed his freedom, to make his own choices. When and if he settled down and set up his own business and found a woman to love, it was going to be on his own timeline. And that just wasn't now. He wasn't ready yet. There were still too many questions in his head that needed answers.

  None of those thoughts you just had made sense. You know that, right?

  He shook his head. Even the conversations he had with himself were driving him crazy.

  He took a toothpick out and shoved it between his teeth. He really wanted a cigarette right now.

  No, what he really wanted was to be sitting on the dock by the lake fishing.

  With Kurt. Kurt would be able to tell him what to do.

  He straightened and looked over at Roxie, who was asleep. Not that she'd be able to offer any advice even if she was awake.

  And Kurt wasn't here. He wasn't ever going to be here to advise him about whether his decisions were the right moves or dumbass moves. Hell, even those last couple of years before he'd left town, Kurt hadn't been there for him.

  So why, in his head, did he think his brother held all the answers?

  Convenient, probably. Because his brother wasn't available, so if he couldn't go to his brother for the answers, then he didn't have to make any decisions.

  At least he'd gotten that part of tonight's self-analysis right.

  But as confused as he was right now, it stood to reason that this wasn't the time to make any serious life decisions.

  He knew what he had to do.

  Chapter 30

  IT HAD BEEN a busy morning, but Megan managed to gather up an apple fritter and an extralarge cup of coffee and, with Stacy handling the post-morning rush crowd, she headed down the street to Carter's shop.

  She ran into Molly, who told her Brady was in the garage.

  "He's not painting or anything? I notice Roxie is in here."

  She shook her head. "No, you're safe to go in there right now. He's just beating something up with a hammer, so it's too loud for Roxie out there."

  "Great. Thanks."

  She walked in to find Brady banging away on a fender with a rubber hammer. The sound was deafening. She went over to him so hopefully he'd notice her and stop.

  He did, looking up at her and frowning. "What are you doing here?"

  She held up the cup and the bag. "I thought you could use a break. You didn't come in this morning, so I brought you coffee and an apple fritter."

  He frowned. "Just . . . put them on the desk."

  Wow. No improvement in the mood yet. "Okay."

  She went over and set them on the desk, and he went back to hammering, which made her ears ring.

  Did he think she was just going to drop those off and leave? She went back over to him and stood there, enduring the endlessly loud hammering.

  Fortunately, he stopped and stood. "What, Megan?"

  "Why are you being so mean?"

  "I'm not being mean. I'm working."

  "I've been here before when you were working and you were never mean to me. So why now?"

  "I'm busy. I've got a lot going on."

  She tilted her head to the side. "Come on, Brady. Something's going on with you--with us. We need to talk about it."

  He looked toward the door leading to the shop, then back at her. "Fine. But not here and not now. How about I come over to your place after work--maybe like six o'clock. We'll talk then."

  "All right. I'll see you tonight."

  She waited, but he didn't kiss her, didn't hug her, and didn't thank her for bringing him the coffee and the apple fritter.

  Now she'd spend the rest of the day anxious about tonight, about what they were going to talk about.

  But at least they were going to talk, so that was progress.

  Chapter 31

  MEGAN HAD SHOWERED and changed clothes before Brady was supposed to come over.

  She'd also spent the afternoon nervously pacing her house. After she left work for the day, she'd baked two pies, one cheesecake, and a batch of chocolate chip muffins, then thoroughly scrubbed her kitchen.

  She debated whether or not to lay out the baked goods for Brady. He'd been wretched to her lately, so he really didn't deserve anything.

  Then again, maybe there was something on his mind and he just needed time to sort through it. And what better way to sort through a dilemma than with a slice of cheesecake or a muffin?

  In the end, she decided to offer a spread of cheesecake and muffins--an obvious cure-all for anything. She also put a ham in the oven to warm, along with some sweet potatoes. He might be hungry. He probably was upset about something and wasn't eating well. She could at least feed him.

  After she stared at herself in the mirror to check her jeans and peach silk blouse, she realized her hands were shaking.

  Calm. Down. It's just a conversation, and no matter what's wrong, we're going to fix it. Together.

  She took a deep, cleansing breath and felt a lot better.

  Brady knocked on the door. She went to answer it. He was freshly showered and looked amazing, as always.

  She looked around him. "Where's Roxie?"

  "She's at my place."

  "You could have brought her."

 
; He shrugged. "She's fine at home."

  Okay then. "Would you like something to drink?"

  "A beer would be good."

  She went to the refrigerator and grabbed a beer for him, then poured herself a glass of wine. She handed him the beer and he took a seat at the island. "Rough day today?"

  He shrugged. "Average."

  She took a seat in the chair next to his, took a long, courage-inducing swallow of wine, then laid her hand over his. "Tell me what's wrong."

  "Nothing's wrong."

  "Something is definitely off. You haven't been calling me. You haven't stopped in at the bakery, or come here to the house. There's been nothing, Brady. No contact of any kind."

  "I've been busy."

  She refused to let him brush this off. "Your attitude toward me is different. You aren't affectionate with me and you haven't been for more than a week now. You can talk to me, Brady. I'm a grown woman and I can handle whatever it is."

  He took a couple of swallows of his beer, then set it on the counter. "Okay, fine. It's not working between us."

  His words sliced through her like a knife in her heart, but she held steady. "What's not working?"

  "This. You and me. I'm not meant to have a relationship. I've been giving it a lot of thought, and I need to make some changes."

  Her earlier confidence that she could handle whatever this was started to fade. "What kind of changes?"

  He stood and paced back and forth in front of her. "You know, people seem to think they know me. But they don't. I had a plan, and it was a good one. I was happy being alone. I want to save money to start my own business. But I don't know when that's going to be or where that's going to be. People can't dictate those terms to me."

  Now she was just confused. "What people are you talking about, Brady?"

  He raked his fingers through his hair. "Just . . . people. Trying to give me ideas, trying to force me to set down roots, establish relationships. Make friends. I don't need permanence in my life. I just need to be left the hell alone."

  He'd finished with a raised voice. She didn't even know this person who was standing in front of her yelling at her as if she and some random, faceless, nameless "people" were the cause of all his perceived problems. She only knew that whatever was bothering him, it was bothering him in a major way. "I'm sorry, Brady, but I don't exactly know what you're talking about. I can see you're upset. Let's have some dinner. I made a ham and sweet potatoes. We'll talk this through and figure out what's upset you."