you. The only difference is I am over here.”
“I couldn’t stop him. I couldn’t move my own body. It was like I didn’t matter,” said Otto.
“I know,” said Hedwig-as-Otto.
“I watched myself do things. I was a spectator.”
Otto sat.
“He was right about one thing. I don’t know what it is to be human,” Otto said.
“And he doesn’t know what it is to be humole,” said Hedwig-as-Otto.
Otto looked up at himself.
“I think I know why Hedwig did what he did,” said Otto.
“He wanted to be a humole and this was his only chance,” said Hedwig-as-Otto. “He thought it would make him happy. Must’ve really believed that.”
“Yes,” said Otto. “I’m glad it didn’t work. Because I don’t think it would’ve been good for him. I don’t believe it would’ve made him happy. In the long run looking like a humole would’ve hurt Hedwig. I’m so glad it didn’t work.”
“Yes,” said Hedwig-as-Otto.
“To be made to do that,” said Otto. “To believe that doing a thing would hurt your friend, I know Hedwig thought what he was doing was good for him but I didn’t, and I was the one –I had to watch while my paws moved and did it. All the time I was thinking, this isn’t right, I’m hurting him.”
“Otto?” said Hedwig-as-Otto. “I wish I didn’t have to. But… if I was in your place I think it would be best for me to know. Turn off your light.”
Otto tried to meet Hedwig-as-Otto’s eyes. Hedwig-as-Otto turned Hedwig’s head away. Otto reached up with his paw and turned off the light. Hedwig’s body was glowing.
Otto and Hedwig-as-Otto felt the floor shake. There was an enormous grinding sound, and a crash, and the way out was open.
###
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As Yourself Page 5
