All the self-defense moves Jacob had taught me swirled in my head. But only one might work in this particular situation. I had a gun pointed at my head. I needed to drop down, away from the gun, and wiggle free. And do it quickly.
No easy feat.
“Now put your hands on the back of your head!” the man shouted. His hand twitched slightly. Now was my chance.
I dropped down hard, using all my weight to try to wiggle free.
Everything that happened next, happened so fast it was just a blur.
Jacob moved—just a flash of movement—reaching for his knife, then rising and swinging to face us. A whisper of sound flashed by my head, then the knife slammed into my captor’s hand, the one that held the gun.
The gun went off, a loud boom in my ear that momentarily deafened me. My captor cursed and the gun clattered to the ground.
Pain, sharp and insistent, slammed into my skull.
The man thrust me aside, grabbing his injured hand. I toppled into the underbrush, my head spinning. Spinning. Twirling like a tornado. I tripped, falling backward, and smacked my head on something hard. A rock? A log? More pain ricocheted in my head, around and around. I moaned. Oh God, it hurt. Sticky wetness slowly oozed down the side of my face. I lifted a hand to touch the wound on top of my head. What felt like blood and matted hair and torn flesh hung loosely from my skull. I jerked back in horror, then tentatively felt again, gasping as a chunk of my scalp came away in my hand. I gagged, letting the piece of skin and hair fall from my grasp.
Nausea pressed its way up my throat. My vision blurred.
I can’t breathe. I’m going to puke.
I lifted my bound hands and yanked at the tape on my mouth.
Rip!
As I rapidly gulped in air, the nausea dissipated.
Dumb move, Anna. Real dumb move. You just got shot in the head.
Then my head spun. Faster. I couldn’t tell what was going on with Jacob and the other man. All I could feel was pain and dizziness. I felt myself fading away, my vision blurring again. My blood roared in my ears, a fierce, relentless pounding. Pound. Pound. Pound.
Grunts, groans, and smacking sounds pierced my dulled senses.
Thud. Thwack. Crunch.
What was that? Was Jacob attacking the other man? Had he become the phantom?
The spinning in my head swirled faster and faster, a steady whirl, the throbbing more insistent. I squeezed my eyes shut against the pain. God, it hurt. I slowly reached back and felt a huge lump forming on the back of my head where I had struck the ground. My fingers came away sticky with blood.
Nice. A bullet and a rock. My poor head couldn’t take much more abuse.
Good job, Anna.
There was a final thud somewhere close by.
Then Jacob’s strong arms came around me. He pulled me into his lap, gently cradled my head.
I relaxed. I was safe now. Jacob was here.
“Anna!” He hugged me against him, his big body protectively holding me close. “Hold on. Goddammit! Stay with me!” There was panic in his voice. Fear. “Just hang on. Please.”
Was I dying? I tried to open my eyes, but my lids were too heavy, the pain in my skull excruciating. I moaned again.
The throbbing in my head grew fiercer, the pain unbearable.
The blood roared in my ears.
Then the blackness sucked me under.
CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE
Jacob
My entire world fell apart when Anna went limp in my arms. My heart completely stopped beating. A wail of pain erupted from my lungs, echoing around the dark forest.
No, no, no!
I couldn’t go through this again. I couldn’t lose anyone else. Losing Ralph had ripped out a piece of my soul. Losing Anna would kill me. I squeezed her close, gently rocking, willing her to be okay.
Headlights approached through the dark forest, then the sound of skidding tires. The other dregs had arrived.
Several moments later, Nate, Tony, Luke, and Ryan all gathered around. Nate knelt beside me, yanking open his medical bag.
“She got shot in the head,” I whispered, my breath hitching. “I haven’t looked at it yet.” I’d been too afraid to. This wasn’t like me. Not at all. Nothing scared me. But this—for some reason—did. This fucking scared the hell out of me. Blood. Wounds. Even morbid injuries like partially attached limbs or ripped open chest cavities never bothered me.
But I couldn’t handle seeing Anna hurt in any way.
My stomach heaved.
Nate glanced at me sharply. “Get a grip, man. Or I’ll have to remove you and have someone else help.”
I drew in a deep breath, tried to relax. No one was helping but me.
“Good. Now let me see.” Nate leaned over her, checking her condition, his fingers gently probing her head. “The bullet grazed the top of her scalp, slicing off a chunk of skin and hair.” His gaze met mine. “It feels like the bullet took out a piece of bone at the top of her head, as well, but it’s not deep. I’ll clean it up and see what’s underneath.” He paused, feeling along the back of her head. “She’s got a nasty lump forming on the back of her head, too. It’s bleeding. She must have hit her head on something.” He reached into his medical bag. “She may have a concussion, which could be why she passed out. Relax, man. She’s not going to die.”
Relief swept through me. Anna was going to be okay. I’d been in such a panic I hadn’t allowed my acute senses to make me aware of the truth. A steady heartbeat. Even breaths. She was alive. Just passed out. Thank God.
I gently laid her head on my thigh while Nate flushed the wound on top of her head, then inspected it more closely. I watched intently, one finger pressed against the pulse in her neck, assuring myself with each gentle thump against my finger that she was still alive.
Off to the side of us, the other dregs yanked Anna’s abductor to his feet. “Can we kill this bastard?” Tony asked with an evil gleam in his eye. I’d knocked the guy around a bit, turning the phantom loose temporarily, but keeping it in check. I couldn’t kill the guy yet. I needed information from him first.
I met Tony’s gaze. “Find out who he is before you kill him. I think he’s from The Company.”
Anna’s eyes suddenly flickered open. She gazed up at me, slightly dazed. “Jacob?”
“I’m here,” I whispered. “You’re going to be okay. Nate said the bullet skimmed the top of your head.”
“Am I going to have a bald spot now?” she asked. “It will certainly add to my character.”
Nate’s gaze darted to mine, a question in his eyes. Is she being funny?
I chuckled and shook my head. I had no idea. With Anna, it was hard to tell. She was a jokester. I removed my knife and gently cut through the tape binding her wrists. “How’s that?”
“Much better.” She reached for my hand and held it.
Nate glanced back at Anna. He held up a small strip of flesh and hair. “This is the piece that came off your head. I’m not a surgeon, but I think I can probably reattach this piece of flesh back to its original spot. If the hair follicles are damaged in this section, then your hair won’t grow back. You’ll just have to wait and see.”
Anna nodded. “Can you clean the dirt out of it first? I don’t want weeds growing out of the top of my head.”
Nate choked out a laugh. “Seriously, Anna? Did you just ask that?”
She giggled. “I was just teasing you. I trust you, Nate. You’re The Healer.” She reached over and patted his arm. “Go ahead, Doc. Patch me up.”
He shook his head. “I’m not a doctor, just an EMT.”
She shrugged. “You’re a dreg. That makes you special, and that’s all that matters to me.”
Nate glanced at me with raised brows. Anna was acting a little loopy, so I just shrugged. She probably did have a concussion.
The sounds of the other dregs interrogating the stranger floated over to us, the man’s grunts and groans reaching us through the trees as my dreg brothers deli
vered punishing blows. I hoped the bastard talked. If he refused, then we wouldn’t know who sent him or how he’d found me.
“There was also a small piece of bone that got chipped off from the bullet,” Nate told Anna, “but I don’t know where it’s at, and frankly, even if I did, I wouldn’t attempt to do anything with it. So you might end up with a tiny dent in your head where the bone used to be.”
Anna let out a soft chuckle. “I deserve an indentation in my head for what I did. Stupid, stupid me. I should have stayed still, but I thought if I could get away from that guy, then Jacob could escape.” She glanced up at me. “You’re not mad at me, are you?”
“No. You did perfect, actually. I knew what you were going to do. I felt it through our connection. So I reacted as quickly as I could, flinging the knife at his hand. But you scared the fuck out of me,” I admitted softly. “God, Anna, I thought for a moment that I’d lost you. You don’t know what that did to me. My heart literally stopped.” My chest squeezed. I swallowed hard, overcome with emotion.
Her breath hitched. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Her fingers gently brushed my cheek. I drew in a ragged breath and covered her hand with mine. Our gazes locked.
Nate cleared his throat. “Can you two save the sentimental crap for later when I’m not here, please?”
Anna chuckled. “You’re just jealous. You wait, Nate. I’ll bet you fall in love soon, and when you do, it’ll knock you clear off your feet.”
“That’ll never happen,” he grumbled, but his lips twitched with humor. “Shut up and hold still so I can do this.” He pressed his palm against her head. “I just numbed it so you won’t feel when I stitch it back together.”
She reached up and grabbed my hand again, holding tightly to it. “Are you okay?” she asked, focusing on me while Nate stitched the piece of scalp back to her head.
“I’m fine,” I promised. There was so much I wanted to say to her but not in front of Nate.
Nate took his time stitching her up. If I didn’t know him so well, I might think he was deliberately taking his time. But he was meticulous about doing things right, and Anna was in the best of care with Nate. I trusted him implicitly.
At last, he tied off the final stitch and cut the thread. “That should do it. Now let me check the bump on the back of your head.”
Anna slowly turned her head while Nate inspected the wound. He cleaned it with an antiseptic wipe, then pressed his palm against it, healing the cut.
“All done. You shouldn’t sleep for a while, just in case you have a concussion.” Nate glanced at me. “You’ll need to monitor her for the first twenty-four hours, okay?”
I nodded. I was never letting her out of my sight again. Not if I could help it.
Nate gathered up his medical kit and rose.
“Thanks, Nate.” Anna slowly sat up.
“Anytime.” He smiled and moved away.
I pulled her into my lap, wrapping my arms around her.
She sighed and snuggled close. “Are you truly okay?”
I didn’t miss the unasked question in her words. She was asking if I was me again. Being away from her these past nine days had been miserable. It had been a difficult struggle. But now, I was Jacob again. “Yes. I’m me again. I figured out how to fight off the demons. I discovered I can be violent and not let it destroy me.” I looked into her eyes. “I promise you won’t lose me, Anna. Never again.”
Her eyes widened. She swallowed hard and stared at me for a long moment. “It is you,” she whispered. “It really is you. You’re back.”
“Yes.” And thank God I’d found myself again. Thanks to my dreg brothers, I was on the road to healing. And with Anna’s help, I could fix myself completely again. Of that, I had no doubt. Nothing would ever take me away from Anna and Hazel ever again.
Ryan approached. “Noah and Logan are waiting back at your house with Hazel. They said they are playing a game with her to keep her distracted until you get there.”
I nodded my thanks and he moved away.
Luke paused in front of us. “I owe you an apology, Anna. I was wrong about you. You never gave up on Jacob. You’re definitely worthy of him. I’m glad you proved me wrong.”
She glanced up at him. “Thank you.”
He jerked his head in a nod, then walked away.
I squeezed her against me again. “What was that all about?”
She rested her head against my shoulder. “He said he didn’t think I was strong enough to deal with your issues, and that I would turn tail and run. He was obviously wrong.”
“Obviously.” She was one-of-a-kind. God knew I didn’t deserve her. But for some reason, she’d never given up on me. She’d believed in me even when I hadn’t. I planned to make it up to her for the rest of my life. “Let’s go somewhere more private.”
She nodded, and we rose to our feet. She wobbled, so I hefted her into my arms and carried her back to my car. She protested, then giggled and settled against me.
I set Anna into the passenger seat of my car, then went around to the driver’s side and climbed in. I turned to face her, reaching over to hold her hand.
“How’s your head feel?”
She smiled. “Numb. Nate took all the pain away.”
I chuckled. “Good ole Nate. He’s the best.”
She nodded. “I like him. I like all the dregs. They’re good guys.”
I agreed. “Yes, they are.”
We stared at each other for a long moment. “I owe you some romantic dates,” I whispered. “I never did get to properly romance you like you wanted me to.”
A soft laugh bubbled up from her throat. “I can’t wait to see what you come up with.” She smiled, and I felt the warmth of her love flowing into me. I was a lucky man. “I was so worried about you,” she whispered. “Why didn’t you ever call or text?”
I drew in a deep breath, slowly exhaled. “I was taking care of a few things. Fixing myself. I wanted to make sure I was safe. I had the other dregs help me by putting me in any and every situation that we thought might trigger a flashback or make me snap, but I passed every single one. Thank you for being so patient with me. I’m safe now, Anna. Completely safe. I trust myself around you and Hazel one hundred perfect.”
Her eyes filled with tears. “That’s wonderful.”
“I’ve also been working stuff out with Tracker.” I hesitated, looked into her eyes. “I’m moving to Idaho. Tracker and I are going into business together. We’re going to open an MMA fight gym and I’m going to teach martial arts classes. He’s been checking out properties there that will work for a gym. He’s also been sending me listings of houses for sale in the area.”
“Oh.” She lowered her gaze. Did she think I would leave her behind?
“Anna.” I brushed my fingers under her chin, tilting her head back, forcing her to meet my gaze. “I want you to come with me. That is, if you want to. The decision is yours.” I waited, holding my breath, for her response. Would she refuse?
Her face lit up, her eyes filling with fresh tears. “Of course, I’ll go with you. I’d go anywhere with you.”
I grinned, happiness bubbling in my chest. Then I kissed her, brushing my lips over hers. The kiss was sweet, gentle, and filled with promise. I drew back, meeting her gaze.
“I love you, Anna.” I hesitated, my heart rate kicking up. “There’s something I need to ask you.”
She swallowed, her gaze anxious as she stared into my eyes. “Yes!” she blurted.
I choked out a laugh and fell back against my seat. “I haven’t asked you anything yet. What are you saying yes to this time?”
“I’m saying yes to anything you ask me. Now and forever.”
My throat seized and I swallowed hard, forcing the emotion back. God, I loved this woman. I reached over and opened the center console, then fished out the small velvet jewelry box I’d purchased a few days ago. Taking a deep breath, I opened the lid and held the box up to her. “Anna, there is no doubt in my mi
nd that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You never gave up on me. You waited for me to deal with my shit. And you took care of Hazel for me.”
“Um, are holding up a ring? Cause I can’t see anything in the dark.”
I snorted out another laugh. “Sorry. I’m just nervous.” I flicked on the car’s interior light.
She let out a soft gasp and stared at the ring. “Oh my God. Go on. Please.”
Where was I? I drew in a deep breath, then continued, “Anna, you’re the only woman I want. Forever. I know we haven’t known each other for very long, but this is something I just know in my heart. You complete me, make me whole.” I cleared my throat. “I know this isn’t a very romantic location, but I nearly lost you a moment ago, and that scared the hell out of me. So I have to do this right now...” I drew in a deep breath, slowly exhaled. “What I’m trying to ask is will you be my wife? Will you marry me?”
She flung her arms around my neck. “Yes, yes, yes! I love you, Jacob. So, so much. Of course I’ll marry you!” She gently cupped my face in her hands, her gaze on mine. “Are you really cured? I mean, are you all better? No more nightmares? No more flashbacks?”
I wouldn’t lie to her. There would be no more secrets ever again. “I may never be completely free of the nightmares or the flashbacks, but I’ve learned how to control them. My dreg brothers made me realize I needed their help to fight this. But I’ve also come to realize I need you and Hazel too. Pushing you away was the wrong thing to do. I need you in my life, Anna, by my side. Always. I know that if I have you, I can make myself whole. I’ve come to accept that I just can’t remove the violence that’s in me. It’s a part of me. But I can control it. I swear I will do everything in my power to make you happy. I will never, ever, hurt you in any way ever again.”
She nodded slowly, her eyes filling with fresh tears. “I already am happy. And I know you won’t hurt me. I’m so proud of you. I’ll always be here for you, no matter what happens. I believe in you, Jacob. I believe in us.”
I slipped the ring on her finger and she gazed at it for a moment. “It’s beautiful,” she murmured, before hugging me across the console. I hugged her back, drawing strength from her love and support. When I’d first met Anna, my only experience with women had been a prostitute named Celia. Since then, I’d learned so much. Anna was far more than a warm body to see to my needs. She was an individual with her own thoughts and feelings. She was brave and giving and kind and beautiful and she made me laugh. And I couldn’t ask for a better mother for Hazel. In short, Anna was an amazing person. I loved her more than I’d ever thought I was capable of loving someone. Anna was a gift, one I would cherish to my dying day. She was mine. Forever. She’d said yes. She was going to be my wife.
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