by Maya Banks
furrowed momentarily as her perusal of Beau’s beautiful face gave way to silent contemplation of just how long, or rather how short, a time they’d even been associated.
Her only knowledge of Beau Devereaux, until just a few short days ago, was by name only. And only when, in those rare moments when her father was in a serious mood, and she’d always gotten the uneasy feeling that he was . . . afraid. Of something. Or someone. Because it was when he was in those very rare moods that he seemed to further gather his wife and daughter to him and would only separate himself from them for a few moments at most.
It was those times that he’d, out of the blue, very somberly remind Ari that if she were ever in need, ever in danger and that he wasn’t, for whatever reason, available, close or simply unable to see to his daughter’s safety and well-being, she was to immediately contact Caleb or Beau Devereaux and only in person. Not over the phone. Never to give them the opportunity to give her the brush-off, think she was nuts, or say they were booked solid.
Her father—and mother—had laughingly told her many times over the years that no one had a chance upon laying eyes on Ari’s sweet, beautiful features and that her eyes were capable of bewitching even the hardest of hearts.
She supposed that was why he’d wanted her to seek Beau out personally. Perhaps he’d been afraid that he wouldn’t help her unless she pleaded her case in person. Whatever the reason, she offered silent thanks to her father. As a result of that extracted promise, not only did she have her best chance to save her parents, but she’d also met a man who made her want to dream. A man she wanted forever with.
“What on earth are you thinking, honey?” Beau asked softly, reaching out with one finger to gently caress away the lines creasing her forehead. “Are you worried about something? Are you hurting?” he demanded, as though the thought had just occurred to him.
He was already reaching for the medicine bottle on the nightstand when she issued a hasty denial. She placed her hand on his chest to stay his motion and he reluctantly turned back to her, concern burning brightly in his eyes.
“Are you certain?” he asked in a skeptical tone. “Ari, if you hurt, you need to control the pain or risk another bleed, or God forbid, a more serious hemorrhage.”
She smiled, her heart warming to its very core over the depth of concern, both in his words and in his entire body language. She looped her arm as far around his broad chest as she was able and gave him a fierce squeeze, her attempt at a hug since they were both lying down, him on his back and her on her side nestled into the curve of his armpit.
“Hey,” he queried softly. “Not that I’m complaining at all, but what was that for? What’s going on, honey? You looked so puzzled and then worried. Your eyes were flashing as though you were processing half a dozen thoughts in that pretty head. And the very last thing you need is any kind of stress. So tell me so I can take care of it and make it better.”
She wanted to say it so badly. The words burned on her lips, begging to be set free. Instead she licked them to ease the tingling sensation. Just the thought of offering him those three little words, the most important words in the world—in her world, at least—filled her with gut-wrenching terror. And offering someone your love should never be terrifying. It should be celebrated. Embraced. A memory to savor—and hold close to your heart—forever.
But she was scared. Of rejection. Of seeing discomfort or even dismay flicker in those dark eyes. Or the worst possible reaction of all. Pity.
The very last thing she ever wanted from this man was pity. She wanted his love. His commitment. His protection. She wanted the kind of love her parents shared, and oh but she could see it so clearly with Beau. Never before had she met a man who even made her wonder if he could possibly be a man who’d measure up to her father. That she could share with him all her mother and father shared.
Wistful yearning twisted her chest and brief sadness tugged at her heart, squeezing it gently as she imagined a love like that simply . . . disappearing.
The world was a better place with people like her parents. Everyone should want more—better—should demand it. Her parents were an example to be held up in esteem, an example of the testament of absolute love, loyalty, fidelity and selflessness.
“Okay, Ari, you’re starting to worry me,” Beau said firmly, reaching up to nudge her chin so her attention was forced to him once more. “I swear you keep drifting away to God only knows where. I only know you’re not here with me.”
“But that’s exactly where I want to be,” she said softly, her palm sliding over the wall of his chest, exploring every hard contour, the ripple of his abdominal muscles. Then she pressed a kiss just above his left nipple, enjoying the brush of her lips over his firm skin and even firmer pectorals.
“You can’t possibly want it more than I do,” he said, sliding his fingers up the length of her arm that was still flung across his body.
“Do you mean that?” she asked hesitantly, instantly searching his gaze for any sign of the veracity of his words.
He looked confused and then worried. He turned on his side, his hand wrapped around her arm so it stayed anchored around him when he moved. Then he reached to trace a line from her temple to her cheek, sending shivers of sheer contentment coursing through her veins.
“How can you doubt that?” he asked. And then faint alarm registered in his eyes and he stared intently at her, as if doing the exact same thing she’d been doing to him. Trying to see into her thoughts, to understand or discover her thoughts, her feelings. And her fears.
“Ari, do you doubt that I want to be with you? That I want you with me? And not just temporarily. Not days. Not weeks. Not months.”
“How long then?” she whispered, dodging his question of whether she doubted his words. She was much more interested in the last things he’d said.
Hope made her pulse flutter and then speed up. She held her breath for seemingly an eternity as she waited for . . . confirmation? Something more? Commitment?
Love?
Oh God, she couldn’t go there. Could not set herself up for devastation. She had to learn to steel herself. Not to take so much to heart. To be able to shrug off the negative things and embrace the good.
His cheeks puffed as he blew out a long breath and his hand slid from her face to capture the arm lying over his chest. He took her hand, lacing their fingers, and then simply placed their joined hands over his heart.
“This is where you are, Ari. Here. And this is where you’ll stay. And because you’re here,” he said, pressing her hand harder against the steady thud of his heartbeat. “That means that I want you here.”
He gestured to the bed. And then swept his arm to encompass the room.
“Everywhere,” he said softly. “Everywhere I am is where I want you to be.”
He leaned forward, still keeping her hand trapped solidly between their bodies and he fused his mouth to hers in the sweetest of kisses. He was still treating her gently, as though he feared she would break or that he’d somehow cause her more pain.
“Forever,” he whispered into her mouth, the word swallowed up as she inhaled the scent, the taste, the feel of him surrounding her. “I want forever.”
And that one word, so simple but utterly sincere, gave her contentment such as she’d never known or experienced.
Love finds you when you least expect it. Under seemingly impossible circumstances, but it was there. Young and blooming still. Unwavering and constant.
Love truly did conquer all. Love required trust, unconditional faith in the face of adversity.
Some of the overwhelming fears of losing her family dimmed, because, in this moment, Ari knew without a doubt that Beau would find her parents and that Ari and Beau’s love would be as steadfast and true as her mother and father’s and that they too would withstand the test of time
TWENTY-THREE
BEAU’S expression blackened and he emitted a soft curse when a firm knock sounded at his bedroom door. He rolled to
his back with a groan and slapped his palm to his forehead in a signal of frustration.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Now? Someone’s going to interrupt us now of all times? Swear to God, the house better be on fire.”
Ari smothered a smile and tried to summon irritation equal to his, but he was too funny with his pouty sullen look of a boy who’d just been denied his favorite toy.
When the knock persisted, Beau rolled, sliding his feet to thump on the floor, and then rose to stalk to the door, yanking it open with enough force to rip it from its hinges.
“What?” he barked
Ari turned, curious as to whom would brave Beau’s wrath to interrupt them so early in the morning. She frowned. Or at least she thought it was morning. Yesterday was a fog bank, and she had to struggle to part the veil of mist in order to remember all that had happened.
She shivered with the bone-deep cold that always assailed her after a psychic burst—a word she’d made up on the fly because, well . . . it was appropriate—because Beau was no longer there to warm her and the bed was suddenly chilly. She dug her feet deeper, seeking residual warmth from the imprint of his legs and feet.
At first she couldn’t see who had knocked on Beau’s door because Beau solidly filled the doorway and they were speaking in low tones. So she couldn’t hear? Or out of deference to the fact she was always so sound sensitive. But she wasn’t now, so it had to be that they didn’t want her to hear.
She frowned, sitting up in bed, craning her neck to see around Beau, and was finally able to see enough of the intruder to recognize him. Zack. Only he wasn’t alone. Caleb and Dane were both flanking Zack. She bit her lip in agitation. What on earth was going on? Why were all three men standing there wearing determined expressions? Except Caleb, whose eyes and face seemed locked in impenetrable stone. He neither frowned nor smiled. He was utterly unreadable—but obviously serious, and even so, he definitely intimidated her.
She unconsciously settled further back into the pillows, drawing the covers protectively to her chin as if by doing so she offered some kind of barrier between her and the daunting, cold figure Caleb represented.
What had made him so? Only when he was around his wife, or she entered the room, did his entire demeanor soften, and he seemed to light up, glowing from the inside out. Ari could see the immediate change—the difference—knew that he quite obviously adored the other woman and that he’d lay waste to any threat to her.
Surely a man who became utterly defenseless the minute his wife walked into the room couldn’t be all bad. Her own father could be considered quite ruthless. Even cold and daunting, all the qualities she’d attributed to Caleb. But, like Caleb, he became a different man the moment his wife so much as smiled at him. And she knew for a fact that her father was a good man, despite appearances. So perhaps she wasn’t being fair to Caleb. She’d jumped to some rather hasty conclusions fueled by her overwhelming fear. Something that now made her ashamed.
Beau spoke to the men a few more moments, but it didn’t escape her that he ensured he was a solid barrier to the inside of the bedroom. Specifically the bed where Ari lay. Not that he needed to have concerned himself since she was currently buried in the bed and only her face peeked out from the covers.
Then he softly closed the door and returned to Ari, his features carefully schooled. Instead of crawling back into bed and under the covers with her as she’d hoped, he sat on the edge of the bed and simply held out his hand as if he needed that contact with her.
Or perhaps he thought she would need his touch after he told her what had prompted the early morning visit from his brother and their operatives.
She slipped her hand from beneath the covers and laid it over Beau’s. He immediately curled his around hers, giving her hand a comforting squeeze.
“I need you to listen and hear me out,” Beau said in a carefully measured tone.
Her heart skipped a beat before resuming regular rhythm, but the one irregularity caused a momentary catch in her breath. He seemed perfectly in tune with her responses, her body language and reactions. He was perfectly in tune with her.
“Honey, this could be a good thing. So don’t jump to hasty conclusions. I need you to be calm and rational.”
Okay, so it wasn’t horrible. She could deal with that. She made a concerted effort to regulate her breathing and to relax. After a moment when Beau seemed satisfied that she was ready to listen, he scooted a bit closer to her and held her hand in his lap.
“Ramie has agreed to help us. She’s going to try to establish a link to one or both of your parents.”
This time her pulse leapt in excitement, not dread. It took all her control not to literally bounce up and down on the bed like an excited child.
“She did?” Ari whispered, unable to keep the incredulity from her voice. “But Caleb . . . He was so adamant.” And Beau did not miss her sudden shiver that she couldn’t control when she remembered just how vehement Caleb’s reaction had been.
Beau’s eyes grew cold at the reminder of just how adamant his brother had been. But then he seemed to make a concerted effort to shake off his sudden anger and smiled at her hesitant yet hopeful question.
“Ramie is her own person, despite what Caleb may think or what he may make others think. He’d very much like to control every aspect of her life. Not because he’s an overbearing asshole—although he certainly can be just that—but because he loves her dearly and he only seeks to protect her and I can’t fault him for that. You have no idea the sheer horror they endured not so long ago. What Ramie has endured time and time again over the years. One day when I have the time and we aren’t pressed for it, I’ll tell you their story, but it’s not a pretty one,” he said in a grim tone.
“And since Ramie doesn’t allow Caleb to run roughshod over her and exert the control he wants, Ramie pretty much told Caleb that he did not make decisions for her, and that if she chose to help you, then she was damn well going to do just that. She really likes you, Ari. You struck a chord with her. It may seem silly, but no sillier than your thought—your belief—that the two of you were somehow linked—kindred spirits, even sisters of sorts, though you’d never met—is precisely the way Ramie feels about you. And it breaks her very tender heart that you’ve lost your only family. Ramie grew up with no family. She never had one until us. We’re her family now so she especially feels as though she can identify with the way you feel, and she wants to do whatever she can to try and help locate your parents.”
“When?” Ari choked out. “Where? Today?” Oh God, let it be today. Please today. She didn’t think she’d last even one more day without something—anything—to let her know her parents were alive.
Beau’s hand tightened around hers. “Yes, today. But first you have to do something for us.”
“Anything,” Ari instantly vowed.
“Ramie is usually able to establish a link to the victim by touching an item at the scene of the abduction. Even a small piece. Sometimes the seemingly obscurest of things. But if the killer touched what the victim had touched, or if he was even close enough to it, and if he gives off particularly strong imprints, Ramie can use that as a pathway.”
Ari frowned. “I sense a but coming.”
Beau nodded. “We’re in a bit of a quandary. The problem is we don’t know where your parents went missing. We know nothing at all, so we don’t even have a starting point. But Ramie seems to believe that if you can think of something that was a particular favorite of your parents, something they would have touched frequently and left strong mental impressions on as well as physical, that she may be able to open the pathway. But she wanted me to make it clear to you, that although she is going to try everything she can and exhaust all possibilities, she doesn’t want you to get your hopes up and set yourself up for horrific disappointment and despair if this doesn’t work.”
Ari’s mind was already working furiously, drifting momentarily away from Beau as she concentrated hard on possibilities.
She ignored the last, because she wouldn’t allow herself to contemplate, even for a moment, that Ramie would fail. She had to succeed. Or Ari truly would shatter, and she may never recover or be whole again. The only thing that was holding her sanity by the thinnest of threads was the hope of getting her parents back. If that was taken away from her . . . She physically shuddered, knowing that she would simply fall apart.
Beau’s vehement swear filtered through her scattered thoughts and she glanced up, puzzled over what could be wrong. He got off the bed and stalked to the bathroom, returning a moment later with a soft, warm washcloth, and then carefully wiped at her nose and mouth.
When he pulled the washcloth away and she saw bright red blood, she frowned.
“But, Beau, I wasn’t using my powers. Honest. I was merely thinking—concentrating hard—and trying to focus.”
But guilt crept over her shoulders, gaining a tight hold on her throat because she’d left out the more frightening turn her thoughts had taken, which was very likely the cause of her bleed.
“Apparently that’s enough. You’re in a very weakened state, Ari. You incurred what I believe has to be a psychic overload yesterday. I’ve never seen you that wrecked after using your powers. I imagine this is simply residual damage, not yet fully healed areas of your brain, and any overexertion of your mind could trigger a bleed, even a small one.”
She shrugged as though she didn’t care. And she didn’t. She wanted to get back to her parents and the fact that Ramie had agreed to help.
But, in deference to Beau’s concern, she did at least attempt to calmly sort through memories, mementos and any object that her parents would have both loved enough to touch often frequently.
It seemed there were simply too many. Pictures, photo albums, but none that really stood out. And she wanted to provide Ramie with something that offered the best opportunity to pick up a thread to her parents.
And then it simply came to her, slipping in with little fanfare. But it was so obvious that she berated herself for not having thought of it first.
“Oh my God,” she whispered. “Of course!”
“What?” Beau asked urgently. “Did you think of something?”
“My lovies.”
He gave her a look of confusion. “Your lovies?”
She smiled, once again leaving the here and now as she relived all the moments over the years. The sacred place her lovies occupied, because it was through those adored stuffed animals that her parents had first discovered her powers.
She’d kept them with her, though when she’d still lived with her parents they had a place of honor on one of the shelves in the living room and both parents often picked them up, soft smiles appearing on their faces as they lost themselves momentarily in those memories of so long ago.
“They were my favorite stuffed animals in the world. Even at just nine months old I was cognizant of them. They were my comfort items but my mother would never leave them in the crib with me because she worried they were a choking hazard. Apparently I was not pleased with this and was able, even as a baby, to summon them from across the room so they floated to my crib and dropped within my reach.”
Beau shook his head. “That’s incredible.”
“Imagine my parents’ shock,” she said dryly. “They had to come to terms when I wasn’t even a year old yet that I was different, and as such, I wouldn’t be able to lead a ‘normal’ life. And it altered their lives as well. They made many sacrifices for me, adjusting their own lives to revolve around mine and my needs. I always came first with them, which is why I have to find them. I owe it to them. To myself. To do whatever is necessary, even if it means sacrificing my own life to get them back.”
His expression immediately blackened, his hold on her hand nearly crushing.
“You will not die,” he said harshly, but vulnerability had flashed in his eyes before he could call it back.
“I don’t want to die,” she said softly, to reassure him. “I have so much to live for. I’m only saying that if it ever came to that—and I trust you and DSS to ensure that it never comes to that—for me it is an easy choice. One I wouldn’t have to ponder, consider or have to talk myself into. They’re too important to me and I can’t imagine my world without them in it.”
“You need to realize that they feel the same about you. Imagine how they’d feel, knowing that you sacrificed your life so they could live. Do you think they’d be grateful? Do you think they could possibly live with themselves? It’s not something they’d ever recover from and get over, Ari. It would devastate them.”
There was a long pause, his breath coming in long bursts on the heels of his impassioned statement. Then he looked her directly in the eye.
“It would devastate me.”
Her heart turned over in her chest. Love, so much love filled her until she was nearly bursting with it. With the need to tell him. To share that one piece of herself that she’d held back from him. But now simply wasn’t the time. They had a task to complete. The single most important event in her life.
“We need to get those lovies,” Ari said. “As quickly as possible. I don’t want to wait. Not a single minute more than is absolutely necessary. If Ramie is willing—and is prepared—please ask her if we can do this today. As soon as we retrieve the stuffed animals.”
“Whoa,” he said, holding up his hand. “There is no we in this equation unless that we applies to me, Zack, Dane, Eliza and a number of other DSS recruits.”
She frowned. “But you don’t know where they are and I do. It just makes sense that I go with you to get them. If you have so many people lined up for this job then surely we’ll be well protected. And you seem to forget that I’m pretty badass myself,” she added with a twinkle in her eyes replacing her frown of disagreement.
Beau sighed. “Where are they, Ari? The house that was already compromised? Because they’ll most certainly have it staked out just in case we’re stupid enough—and it appears we are—to return to the place you were damn near abducted from.”
She smiled. “They aren’t there. My father never stays in the same house but for a few months at the most, so I keep things that are important to me with me at all times. But I have an apartment—owned by my father—but it’s not in my name. The building can’t be traced back to him because it’s registered to a company that doesn’t exist, although a paper trail indicating they are indeed a thriving business was created. I doubt they know about my apartment, and if they do, then they would have had to have been watching me for a good while. Because I never drive straight from work to my apartment. I’m well versed in how to lose a tail and the habit is so ingrained in me, courtesy of my father, that I never deviate from it.”
Beau shook his head, muttering, but he didn’t look at all surprised by the meticulous fail-safes her father had put into place.
“Now when do we leave?” she asked eagerly.
Beau sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face in resignation. “We leave as soon as I alert the others of the change in plans, which will precipitate a whole new level of protection because we were not planning to bring you along. I would have felt much better if you and Ramie had remained here so we could be assured of
