by Tiana Laveen
“Shahzad, I know I was wrong to go into your apartment but—”
“Vivian, you just don’t get it,” he stated woefully, on the fringe of falling apart. “Do you think I’d give a flyin’ shit about you being in that apartment?! That place means nothing to me! I don’t care about you being in that makeshift office of mine. I care about the fact that you felt you had to do this shit in the first place! And that’s all my fault!” Her eyes narrowed in confusion. “I am upset because I didn’t get the opportunity to do this my way, on my own terms!” He picked up a chair and threw it across the room.
The woman’s eyes widened in alarm. The chair had shattered, pieces of it scattered on the floor. Then he realized he wasn’t going to get anywhere with her unless he calmed the hell down. But that task seemed damn near impossible.
“Vivian, baby, listen to me.” He took another drag of his cigar, tossed it on the floor, and crushed it. She was clearly shaken, scared out of her mind. “I’m sorry for drivin’ so fast, all right? I was trying to sort this shit out in my mind. To figure out how to deal with it.” He raked his hands through his hair. “I’m sorry for throwing the chair just now, too. I’m extremely pissed right now, but not for the reasons you think. Still, I know I need to, uh, get myself together so we can just talk. Like adults.” He looked up at the ceiling, his jaw tightening as various thoughts and scenarios flooded his brain. All of them ending badly.
“I’m scared.” The woman blinked back tears, breaking his heart. “You’re acting so different!”
“Viv, the last thing I want to do is frighten you. Love and fear don’t go together. And… I definitely love you.” Her eyes glossed over. “I love ya so much, I told my family about you, and I told them that if they didn’t approve of us, I didn’t care. They didn’t say either way, but I needed to lay down the law in advance. As for you… I had this huge speech planned out for you, for when I got back home.” He drew closer to her. “But all of that is no good now. We’re in deep, so I am going to just say it. Just come out with the truth…” A ball formed in his throat and his chest drew tight.
“Shahzad, what’s wrong?”
“Baby, I’m not what you think I am… Alexa! Play, ‘It’s Your World’, by J Dilla.” He needed some music, something to soothe him as his life fell apart. He was certain it would; the walls were already closing in.
“What… what are you?”
“A Jinn.” He held his head high, stood tall, and crossed his hands.
“A Jinn? Like… a genie?” She stared in disbelief.
“Yes. Those bottles you saw? Dead Jinns… family members. We try to make our ancestors comfortable. Some are here with us right now – I keep them on the fireplace. Some are at my workplace, and a couple are at the office apartment in your building. They don’t really wanna move around a whole bunch, but they like being around other Jinns, especially family… the same bloodline. We pay homage and respect by allowing that. That lamp with the rubies, diamonds, and emeralds all over it? My great-grandmother made that for me when I was born. It’s special. No one is to touch it, except me, ever.”
Her complexion turned to ash. “Please don’t do this, Shahzad. You sound… crazy! I’m sure you think this is funny but—”
“I’m not doing anything! It’s the truth!” He levitated off the floor, floating fast towards the ceiling, then spun around and around like a top. Each time he did, he caught the look of sheer terror on her face as red smoke gathered at his feet. Nizar’s words were coming back to haunt him while his world crumbled. Everything was falling apart. If only she hadn’t touched his lamp…
He’d felt it deep within him when it had been disturbed, like a cruel twist of the heart. She’d seen more of his ancestors in the boxes, and they’d screamed, shouted, alerting him that someone had found them. He’d heard their worries and concerns; they’d had no idea who this strange woman was! He’d heard their blue and red blood flowing through his veins once they’d been disturbed from their slumber.
He floated back down to the floor and fell to his knees before her. She shivered, hysteria in her eyes. Yet, she was oddly quiet.
“Now, you see? I wanted you to watch me move, to witness a very small part of me, the hidden part. I’m a Jinn, baby. It’s not a lie; it’s not a joke. My people are from Morocco, just as I told you. We’ve been here since the beginning of time, longer than mankind. We come into the world looking much like you, but we’re not you. I don’t think you’re interested in a long lesson right now. I’m sure just the CliffsNotes will do, but there are different types of Jinns in the world, Vivian. I’m a Marid Jinn… you need to know that. Because we’re considered the most uncontrollable, egotistical, large in height and stature, powerful in the world and we can shapeshift into almost anything we wish within mere seconds. Bears, fish, wolves, snakes any animal…Many of us don’t shapeshift at all. I seldom do; that’s more old school. Not really my thing, though I’ve done it a few times when trying to suppress anger.”
“This is… crazy. This is all crazy!” She laughed manically, shaking her head. “None of this can be real!”
“It is… and deep down, you believe me. You believe every word I am telling you right now. You’ve known since the moment we met that I was different, Vivian.” She shook her head, denying what she knew was true. “That’s how I knew. Though this inevitable discussion would be difficult, and you’d possibly reject me after I confirmed your suspicions, I knew you believed in magic. You always have. You were the girl blowing out birthday candles in hopes that your prayers would come true, waiting for the Tooth Fairy and Santa and trusting that your parents would resolve their differences…” He smiled at her sadly. “You believed in miracles. You made beautiful wishes on behalf of others. You believed in me.” She bowed her head as tears began to flow.
“You wanted me not for what I could do for you or grant you. You wanted me for me… for what was in here!” His voice cracked as he punched his chest, his heart beating right below that skin. “No human being ever cared about me, what I wanted, what I needed, once they found out what I was… but you did. I could have worked a minimum wage job, and you still would’ve shown me respect, gone out with me on a date. You’re rarer than black gold. Only those that receive wishes actually believe they can receive them, Vivian. Let me reintroduce myself, baby. I’m the king of authentic Phantasms. I’m Shahzad, Marid Jinn of Morocco. Everyone in my world knows who I am… but you didn’t, and when you did, you didn’t care. I had to wait though. I couldn’t enter your world. I go only where I am invited.”
She slowly raised her gaze back to his, hanging onto his words.
“When I looked into your eyes the first time we met, Vivian, you wanted me so desperately… you wished for me. I was on the opposite side of town and I heard your hopes, yearnings and desires, honey. I turned around and came towards you instead of going to my original destination. I walked in that bar and about lost my mind when I saw you. You were this gorgeous grown woman that still prayed! You still believed in joy, love, hope… magic.” He blinked his emotions away.
“But you asked me what I was going through…” she said in almost a whisper.
“I only asked as a matter of small talk. You’d already confirmed what was in your heart without even opening your mouth. This is why your life changed so drastically. You did this, not me.” He pointed to himself. “I’m only an instrument that does your bidding. I become an extension of you, but your mind and heart run the show. I am simply the gas in your tank. I can do beautiful things, and I can create havoc. It’s whatever you wish. With you, baby, it felt amazing to not only put a smile on your face and receive nothing in return – but watching your pleasure in watching those you loved being helped made it all more special. You shared the wealth. You didn’t just think about yourself. Almost every night when you’d fall asleep, you’d dream, wishing to help children who didn’t have enough eat, wishing for lonely, elderly residents in nursing homes to have visitors and gifts, wishing for the animals in the s
helters to be adopted… I did all of that!
Night after night, afternoon after afternoon, whatever you wished, I granted it! Just last week alone, an entire nursing home had a party, all of them received their favorite meals, and some of them died happy that night. I have never been summoned to do that! People want riches, fame! You? You want calm, real love, and peace…” He began to pace, shaking his head. “I cannot be anyone or anything other than what I am though, Vivian. Good deeds granted aside. I cannot be a good man on the straight and narrow and I cannot be demonic. I live between those two worlds, walking a tightrope, because that’s how I’m designed. It’s how God made me. And if I were to try to be anything else, it would be a lie. I don’t want to live a lie, especially with someone I love. You deserve the truth, no matter how ugly it is.”
Her expression was grim, but he had no choice except to finish this, even if he risked never seeing the love of his life again.
“How do you do these things you do?”
“It’s complicated, hard to explain. In fact, the English language, most languages actually, lack the proper terminologies. I’m born with it though. All of us are.”
“Why me?”
“Because your soul was pure… like nothing I’d ever seen. I hadn’t felt that kind of belief in centuries… not in this city.” He laughed mirthlessly. “You still somehow see the good in people, even when they are at their worst. People love you, Vivian… they adore you. And now, so do I. I’d do just about anything for you.” He caressed her cheek. She turned away. That broke his heart into a million pieces.
Rejected.
He stood back to his feet.
“I must disgust you now, don’t I?” She remained quiet. “You must see me as this vile monster, this fiend, a devil…” She kept her head turned, as if she weren’t listening. “Your roommate, Shante, has horrible nightmares, the same ones you had times a thousand – only, she is awake. She has the fear you experienced when you were afraid your lights would be turned off, when you thought you wouldn’t even have enough money to get to work. I won’t tell you everything I’ve done on your behalf, but we’re one and the same, Vivian. I simply took your pain and cast it back out onto your enemies. I’ve told you the truth now, all of it. Regardless, I can’t make you want me, and as tempting as it is, I refuse to manipulate the situation in my favor, to lie to you a second longer, or make you wish to always want me beside you, inside of you…”
She closed her eyes for a moment, as if needing some quiet. When she opened them again, they looked desolate. He took a deep breath and his front door swung wide open. “I can do that. But I won’t. It’s wrong. I want you with me of your own free will. And I see now, your will is to leave me…”
She jumped in her seat, apparently startled. Wiggling his fingers in her direction, he willed her to stand up, to get to her feet. An airy whimper escaped her slightly parted lips as she floated towards him. He smiled sadly at her as they hovered before one another, face to face. Oh, how she shook so… Sliding his hand around her gorgeous neck, he brought her in for a kiss. Her body stiffened, tears flowed… and then she relaxed in his embrace as their heated mouths touched.
He poured his love, passion, and all that he felt for her into that moment. Her crying became loud and heart shattering, pain pulsing around them, tearing him apart. “I can feel your agony… your disappointment in me. You don’t want me anymore.” That pain now radiated within him, threatening to knock him to his knees, but he kept a brave face in spite of it all.
“Shahzad…” she cried.
“Vivian, it’s all right. I understand. I have accepted that I must let you go. This is no way for you to live… in fear of me. I was warned of this possible outcome, but my arrogance and optimism blinded me to the truth of this moment.”
She drifted slowly back down, her feet planted firmly on solid ground.
He pointed towards the open door, where smoke billowed and beckoned. One slow step after another, she walked to it, looking over her shoulder occasionally at him before reaching the exit.
As she stepped over the threshold, he smiled big and with tears in his eyes, he said, “My Love, let me leave you with this: I am forever within you, Vivian.” He placed his hand over his heart. “I release you, but you will never be truly free of me, and neither shall I of you because we were each other’s greatest wish. Now, my wish for you is that you find someone deserving of you… someone who fathoms the idea of me, too.”
“Why… why would he… have to recognize who you are, too?” A tear streamed down his face, then hers. Two solitary tears pouring at the same time…
“Because anyone who loves you, truly loves you, would have to know me too, baby. They’d have to believe in miracles and wishes come true. If not, they could never fully accept and understand you… for you are the greatest miracle of all, and I am your greatest wish. We are one, even when we are apart…”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Magic Carpet Rides and The Moment of Truth
For some reason, Manhattan sounded even nosier than usual.
Even while wrapped up in two thick blankets and a comforter that may not have been washed in a decade, she tried to get comfortable to no avail. Puffy eyed and crying all night in that bed was the order of the day. Vivian couldn’t block out the world, no matter how much she tried. Everywhere she looked, she saw him, felt him, heard him.
She’d walked away from him, and almost passed out as she’d departed. Never in her life had her heart been broken so badly. She’d left the love of her life’s home a fraction of her former self, and had taken an Uber to a hotel, not wishing to return to her apartment just yet. Too many memories dwelled there.
She glanced at her phone, then placed it back down on the nightstand. She’d been gone from his home for a little over seven hours and now, she was filled with regret. It wasn’t some long, outrageous, terrible dream. She’d been dating, doing dinner and movies and laughing with, taking boat rides with, fucking, and falling in love with a motherfucking Jinn.
Everything now made sense. She recalled her father telling her and her sister when they were children about Jinns. Dad had been such a skeptic. Strange how he’d seemed to believe in that, though. Now she wondered why. Maybe he, too, had had an experience. Perhaps it had been hereditary, for she believed in many things – things the human eye didn’t always see…
Spirits of loved ones watching over people, aliens visiting earth, the Illuminati… Yes, she did believe in such things, though she’d never allowed the thoughts to consume her. She rarely researched anything of the sort online, either, but deep inside, she believed there was a special place for faith – for believing in the unseen and unfathomable. Tightening the sheets around her, she hated herself as she felt another wave of choppy emotion glide along her layers of depression, threatening to tear her apart, limb from limb. She loved the man madly, but still, she’d had no idea how much it would hurt to sever that chord.
What could I do?! She shook her head, pushing aside her pity party for a spell as she got to her feet, trying to sort her thoughts…
I think… I think I’ve made a mistake… I don’t know what’s going on or how this works, but maybe he and I could figure it out together? I wish… I wish I was in his arms right now!!!
She pressed her eyes closed and waited… and waited a bit longer… but there was no Shahzad. She slowly opened her eyes and slumped back down onto the bed. Head bowed, she allowed the emotions to flow. Purge. Not since David, Justin, the guy before him, or her even her first love from high school had she felt so much pain at the loss of someone.
I don’t care about the fancy dinners! I could give up all the gifts, jewelry, the jazzed up apartment, I’d turn it all loose to turn back the hands of time! No one would believe me if I told them the truth. No one believes in anything anymore. People barely believe in themselves, and that’s why they are afraid to be authentic. Everyone uses a filter, and not just on social media. Fear is dangerous! That’s what he mea
nt, didn’t he? No one believes in him, so to most of the world, he isn’t even real. Shahzad is living amongst the shadows, sailing right beneath the radar. He’s living a full life under the guise of another.
So many masks he wears… so many costumes… so many lies to cover a truth that is far too unacceptable for the human mind to fathom.
But I believe in him. I believe in me. I believe in us…
I believe in arrogant, filthy rich Jinns and genies with beautiful bottle collections, cigars made of real gold and silver, and special porcelain tubs designed for spiritual smoke baths. I believe in praying to the ancestors and men who are giants – not just in height, but in spirit.
I believe in Shahzad…
Just then, a knock sounded at her hotel door.
Heart beating like a snare drum, she made her way over to it and looked through the peephole.
There Shahzad stood, smiling, a bouquet of gold roses in his hand. He was dressed in a classy black suit. His eyes glowed like a python’s and her body and soul ached for him.
“Why are you looking at me as if you really weren’t expecting me, baby? I’ve been invited. You rang. Now let your Jinn in…”
Without a second to lose, she swung the door open and jumped in his arms. Lips pressed together tight, she locked her legs around his waist as he kicked the door closed with a shove of his foot. As they pulled and tugged at one another, the flowers hit the floor. The frustrating clothes slowed down her mission to unwrap and devour her prize in one gulp. The maniac drove his tongue in her mouth and marched her towards the unmade bed, then shoved her down, back first. Her half naked body heated under his intense gaze and touch.
The struggle of flying limbs, the burn of twisting muscle, heated need and dripping desire consumed them as they fell upon and over one another. She sighed and nearly bit her lip to the point of drawing blood as he maneuvered his deft tongue all over her pussy. The wet, gushing sounds of his work between her thighs echoed, and she came hard, pouring fast into his mouth. Lifting her arms above her head, he pinned her down.
