Larylis attempted a feeble smile. “I can’t say I’m happy for you, but I promise I will no longer get in your way or fight with you about Mareleau. I want her to be happy. And I want you to be happy.”
“You know I want the same for you, right? I want you to be happy as well. I meant it when I said I would give her up for you. I hoped you wouldn’t ask me to, but I would have kept my promise.”
“That means a lot to me, but I’m ready to let her go. Also, she sent you this.” He handed me a white rose tied to a scroll.
I took it from him, unrolled the scroll, and read: My faith in you will outlast this white rose. I wish you the best of luck and anxiously await your triumphant return. With all the love in my heart, Mareleau.
My heart pounded as I reread her words over and over until they were branded on my heart. I embraced my brother and said my final goodbyes, feeling like my feet were floating as I mounted my horse. For that moment, I could forget the uncertainty of the future and charge forward with determination. The Quest had begun.
* * *
Larylis
I watched my brother until he faded from view. As I walked back to my chambers, I pulled out two other pieces of paper I had stuffed beneath the neck of my tunic. The first was a letter I had sent to Mareleau just days before. I could barely make out the words, crumpled and smudged as they were. It read: Do you honestly think you could love my brother?
The other paper held Mareleau’s response, equally smudged and carelessly scrawled with: All you need to know is that I can’t love you. The paper itself looked like it had been torn in half and stained with water; it likely came from the wastebasket. Meanwhile, Teryn’s letter was written in an elaborate script on a beautiful scroll, not to mention the rose she had sent with it. I couldn’t imagine a crueler way to get her message across.
I entered my study, slumped into the chair at my desk, and reread the scribbled words until my eyes began to blur. Just let her go, I told myself as I closed my eyes on the tears that threatened to fall. She doesn’t love me. She loves Teryn. I grit my teeth and felt my hands turn to fists, crumpling the small pieces of paper in my palm. Let her go. I took a deep breath, and then tossed the two letters into the fireplace. Let her go. I watched the paper disappear into the flames.
I hardened my heart and pushed all my memories of the golden-haired girl of my youth out of my mind. I pushed away her smile, her laugh, her sparkling, blue eyes. Never again would those eyes haunt my dreams. Never again would she taunt me with her cold, cruel demeanor. Because never again would I be so foolish to love a woman who did not love me back. For the first time, I saw her for the monster she really was.
I let out a deep breath, and with it went my commitment, my love, and my heartache for her. I stared into the flames, imagining all those things burning to ash along with her stupid note.
I let her go.
* * *
Mareleau
“They’ve all left,” my mother said as she barged into my chambers.
I rubbed my eyes and sat up on my lounge.
Mother stared down at me with her hands on her hips. “Were you sleeping? Here you are, lazy as a cow, while your three champions depart on your Quest. Did it ever occur to you that you should see them off?”
“No.” I cast her a scowl and reached for a bowl of chocolate on the table next to my lounge. I stuffed three pieces into my mouth at once. “Why would I do that, Mother?”
Mother looked at me with disgust. “Because it is respectful. You could have at least seen Teryn off.”
“I don’t care about Teryn!”
“Well, you should. He is the son of our closest allies, and we can’t afford to disrespect them. Luckily, I sent him a gift on your behalf.”
I jumped to my feet. “Why would you do that? And without my permission?”
“Because you are too selfish to do it yourself.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but didn’t have it in me. Not today.
“Listen, young lady. I agree with your father that you should favor Teryn over the others. As much as I think you and Helios would make a beautiful match, there is no doubt that a union with Teryn would benefit our kingdom the most.”
“Oh, so I’m a pawn now?”
Mother threw her hands in the air. “You really are a spoiled, little fool, Mareleau. You know nothing about leading a kingdom, which is why we aren’t making you our heir!”
Again, I was too stunned to argue.
Mother looked equally as shocked as she stood, chest heaving. She closed her eyes; her face softened and her shoulders relaxed. She moved slowly into the seat next to me. “I didn’t mean it like that.” She reached a willowy hand towards my face.
I turned away, letting her hand fall on my hair.
“What I meant to say is…you are important to us. You are not a pawn, but you do have a destiny to fulfill for the greater good of Sele. It is unlikely your father and I will produce another child, much less a son. If your father dies before adopting a legitimate heir, our kingdom could fall into chaos, even war. Your uncles would inherit the crown and fight over it. They are capable men, but too ambitious. Your father and I want the crown to remain under our direct lineage.”
“Since I’m completely useless, what does this have to do with me?”
“That’s just it, Mareleau; you are not useless. Once you marry your prince, you can start producing children. Your son can be our heir.”
I spun around in my seat to face her. “Not only have you planned whom I can marry, but you’ve also planned the life of my future child? That’s disgusting, Mother!”
“That’s not disgusting, Mareleau, that’s your duty. Besides, we have not planned whom you marry. You are responsible for that choice, and you are turning it into a farce!”
My arms began to shake; I clenched my fists around the folds of my skirt. “If I’m free to choose whom I marry, then why do you and Father insist I marry a crown prince? If you only care that I produce an heir for you, why does it matter whom I produce it with?”
“Don’t you understand? A kingdom is only as strong as its rulers. Do you think our people will follow the son of some nobody prince? Do you think your uncles will be content to serve and follow him? Do you really think Sele will be safe from invading forces with such a weak claim to the throne?”
“Fine,” I said through clenched teeth. “I get it. I need to marry a crown prince. But why Teryn? Why does father, and now you, keep pushing me toward him? Father knows Teryn is the last man I want to marry.”
Mother sighed, a small smile playing on her lips. “Yes, I know, dear. The union between you and Teryn has always been your father’s vision. But it is not without reason. If you were to marry Teryn, we could make you our heir. Then, when our rule passes to you and Arlous’ crown passes to Teryn, the two of you could rule Sele and Mena as one. Our kingdoms would merge without war, without strife. We would become a strengthened force.”
I leaned back in my seat and stared at the ceiling. I was even more of a pawn than I had originally thought.
Mother stroked the hair along my forehead. “I’m sorry this is so hard for you. I just want you to understand what’s at stake. I want you to learn to care.”
“That’s too bad because I don’t care.”
Mother stood and glared down at me, her mouth opening as she prepared to argue.
I wouldn’t give her the chance. “What are you going to do now, Mother? Yell at me? Insult me? Then are you going to apologize? Instead of wasting your time, why don’t you just leave?”
My mother gaped like a fish out of water. “You would make a terrible queen,” she finally managed to say, and left my chambers in a huff.
I paced around my room, trying to forget our irritating exchange. I stared out my window at the palace grounds, remembering the endless sea of men whose hearts I had crushed. I let out a sigh of relief, knowing I wouldn’t have to deal with any more poems any time soon. Perhaps being practically engaged had its b
enefits. No more love letters. No more marriage proposals. No more serenades from below my balcony. No more lustful eyes, groping hands, and empty promises.
My three possible suitors were gone on what I hoped to be an endless, fruitless mission, and I promised myself I would enjoy every quiet moment they were away. I smiled for the first time in days and realized—for the time being, at least—I was free.
10
The Hunt
Teryn
Every inch of my body was sore. I was filthy; dirt filled every gap between finger and nail, a fine layer of grit blanketed my skin, and my hair felt like one mass of collective straw. In the firelight, I watched a bug crawl over my arm as I hugged my knees toward my chest. My first instinct was to swat it away, but the thought of moving was effort enough. I let the bug make its way to my other arm before I rested my head on the trunk of the tree behind me.
“There are no unicorns here,” Helios said from across the campfire.
Tell me something I don’t know, I thought as I scowled at him. After three weeks of the grueling hunt, I wasn’t sure I believed there were unicorns anywhere.
“What does that mean?” Lex asked weakly as he raised his head from his hands. Dark circles hung beneath his heavy-lidded eyes.
“It means the other hunters have been here already. There are no unicorns left in the area.” Helios stoked the fire, showing no signs of fatigue.
“No kidding. Got any more obvious information?”
“Is my information beneath you, Prince Lexington? Would you prefer I left you in the dark?”
“I’d prefer to be sleeping in a comfortable bed!”
“Then you should go home.”
“Come on, enough,” I said, sitting upright. “Helios, what is the plan now?”
Helios grumbled and turned to face me. “We will continue further north, although I doubt we will come across many unicorns, if any. These other hunting parties appear to be more thorough than I had anticipated.”
“How is that a plan?” Lex said, glaring at the back of Helios’ head.
Helios closed his eyes for a moment and I could see the muscles tighten in his jaw. “I’m not finished. While I realize we are in previously hunted territory, I can also see that we aren’t far behind the hunting party that was here before us.”
“And how do you know that?” Lex snapped.
“If you paid any attention to your surroundings you would know too,” Helios said through clenched teeth, still looking only at me. “Last week we made camp in a clearing which appeared to have housed a group of hunters, perhaps two months ago. The hunting paths we’ve been traveling the past few days show even more recent use. And here, in this very camp, I can see it was vacated no more than three weeks ago.”
I looked around me. “How can you tell?”
“Hoof marks from their horses, faded footprints, packed earth where beds had been made. I even found a cave nearby with wood scraps, likely from cages, and dried blood smeared in the dirt and on the cave walls. They’ve got unicorns, I know it.”
I was chilled by his thorough observations; I hadn’t noticed a single thing out of the ordinary. “What do you propose?”
“From the look of their former camps, they settle into a main camp for weeks at time and hunt the surrounding areas. They’ve likely moved on and settled into a new camp just a few days’ time from here. I say we track them and catch up to them.”
“And after that? Do we surpass them somehow?”
“If we can. But first we will find them and see what they have to offer.” Helios smirked, making my stomach uneasy.
“What exactly does that mean?” Lex’s voice held a tentative edge.
“You’ll see. Do you want to make a quick end of this Quest, or not? We could spend every day in this forest for the next month without even a glimpse of a unicorn, or we could do this my way.”
Lex and I exchanged a quick glance. Did we really have a choice? Neither of us said a word.
“I take it we do it my way, then.”
We sat in tense silence. Helios stared into the fire, his face a hard mask. Lex leaned to the side, arm propped on his knee, face resting in his palm. I looked around the camp, trying to find the signs and marks I had previously overlooked. If only I had the skills Helios had, Lex and I wouldn’t be stuck with him. My upbringing felt suddenly inadequate. “Helios, how did you learn what you know?”
Helios raised an eyebrow but said nothing.
I tried a different approach. “You obviously have a lot more experience than Lex and I. How did you become so proficient at hunting, tracking, and scheming?”
“You must know nothing of my homeland.”
“Not so much,” I admitted.
“I do,” Lex said under his breath.
Helios grinned at Lex and then turned to me. “Didn’t you know? Tomas and Norun are neighboring kingdoms.”
This I knew, but I didn’t understand why that was significant. Both kingdoms belonged to the land of Risa, and both lay just above the border between Lela and Risa, north of Kero. I shrugged.
“Do you know anything about the world outside Lela?” Helios looked down his nose at me. “I’ll educate you. Norun is one of the wealthiest, most powerful kingdoms in Risa, and kingdoms in Risa are often larger than the entire land of Lela. Norun has conquered over nine of these kingdoms since the rule of my father, King Isvius. I’ve assisted in conquering five. There’s a lot to learn in war. But you wouldn’t know anything about that, being from Lela, the peaceful little land of nothing."
I scowled at him. “Are you saying peace is a bad thing?”
“You tell me. Here you are, nearly clueless when it comes to hunting or self-sustainability. If your kingdom was invaded, could you defend it?”
I felt my blood getting hot. “I’ve trained with my kingdom’s Red Force and I know how to wield a sword. We’re not as clueless as you think. Just because we don’t conquer everything around us, doesn’t mean we can’t fight.”
Helios shrugged. “Sure. And what about you, Prince Lexington? What do you know of war?”
“Quit calling me that,” Lex said through clenched teeth. “And I do know how to fight. We are trained well, in case some monstrous kingdom like Norun tries to add us to its conquests!”
“Ha! You really think Norun would want Tomas under its rule? It’s even smaller than Lela.”
Lex turned scarlet as he pressed his lips tight together.
“I’d like to convince my father to invade Tomas just to see you fight. What a pathetic spectacle that would make. You can barely walk more than twenty paces without complaining.”
“That’s not true.”
“And who trains you to fight in the first place? The farmers? Your father? Your unmarriageable, hideous sisters?”
“Just leave him alone.” My voice came out stronger and louder than I had intended, ringing out in stark contrast to the quiet night.
Helios glared at me unblinkingly, laughing when I finally averted my gaze. “How sweet; the young princes of two pitiful, little kingdoms have become friends. My father would die of shock if he saw me cavorting with the likes of you.”
I remained silent as unspoken insults spewed from my mind and hit the wall of my closed lips.
“Well, it’s been nice chatting. I’m going to sleep now.” Helios’ face shone with pride as he laid out on his bedroll. “Must get a fresh start on tomorrow. Sleep well, I know you’ll need it.”
Lex and I sat silent in our humiliation. Only once Helios began snoring loudly and I could see the rhythmic rise and fall of his wide chest, did I feel my shoulders relax. I looked at Lex, who met my gaze with a roll of his eyes.
“I do know how to fight,” he whispered, inching closer to me. “What an arrogant bastard.”
“You know he’s only acting that way to annoy us. He knows we need him and he wants to keep it that way. Don’t let him get to you.”
Lex sighed. “I hate him. And I hate that he’s right about h
ow badly we need him. But at least this way we’ve got a chance. Or you do, at least. I just want to go home. I want to see my family again. And Lily.”
“Lily? Is that your lady back home?” It was a relief to have a change of subject.
“Yes. Father doesn’t approve of her. She’s highborn, but not a princess. I was almost positive he was ready to agree to our marriage, until word of Mareleau’s stupid contest got around. He wanted a better match for me, so he sent me to compete. I’m hoping after I return home a brave-yet-narrowly-defeated finalist, I’ll earn his respect and he’ll finally approve of my choice. If he doesn’t…I don’t know what I’ll do. I’d do anything for Lily. I can’t live without her.”
I’d never heard so much passion from him that wasn’t about food or comfort. “You must really love her. What’s she like?”
Lex brightened as a smile took over his round face. “She’s got the curviest body I have ever seen, auburn hair the color of fall leaves, skin like warm milk, and breasts like two overstuffed pillows. Nothing like that skinny Mareleau.”
I laughed. “As unbelievable as it might sound, I happen to like that skinny Mareleau. She’s a goddess in my eyes.”
Lex shrugged, eyes wide with bewilderment. We both laughed. “Do you love her?” Lex asked.
“Of course,” I said in a rush. “I mean, it isn’t quite the same as you feel about Lily, but I suppose I would do anything to make her my bride. I am on this Quest, aren’t I?”
“Do you think she loves you?”
I reached into a pocket inside my hunting cloak and pulled out the withered rose Mareleau had sent me. “I think so. She believes in me, at least. It is now my duty to fulfill that faith and make it back to her.”
“You will. We both will. We’ll return home to the women we belong with.”
I smiled. “That’s the most positive thing I’ve heard you say in three weeks.”
Shadows of Lela Page 7