Staring Down the Tiger
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Staring Down the Tiger
Staring Down the Tiger
STORIES OF HMONG AMERICAN WOMEN
Edited by Pa Der Vang
Copyright © 2020 by the Minnesota Historical Society. Copyright in individual pieces is retained by their authors. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. For information, write to the Minnesota Historical Society Press, 345 Kellogg Blvd. W., St. Paul, MN 55102–1906.
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Manufactured in the United States of America
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The paper used in this publication meets the minimum requirements of the American National Standard for Information Sciences—Permanence for Printed Library Materials, ANSI Z39.48–1984.
International Standard Book Number
ISBN: 978-1-68134-150-7 (paper)
ISBN: 978-1-68134-153-8 (e-book)
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Vang, Pa Der, 1975– editor.
Title: Staring down the tiger : stories of Hmong American women / edited by Pa Der Vang.
Description: Saint Paul : Minnesota Historical Society Press, 2020. | Summary: “Hmong American women reclaim the phrase tsov tom or ‘tiger bite,’ showing in prose and poetry that they are strong enough and brave enough to stare down the tiger. Contributors celebrate the power of bonds between daughter and mother, sister and sister, and grandmother and granddaughter. These writers bring life and character to the challenges of maintaining identity, navigating changes in gender roles, transitioning to American culture, and breaking through cultural barriers.” —Provided by publisher.
Identifiers: LCCN 2019047362 | ISBN 9781681341507 (paperback) | ISBN 9781681341538 (ebook)
Subjects: LCSH: American literature—Hmong American authors. | American literature—Women authors. | Hmong American women—Literary collections.
Classification: LCC PS508.H63 S73 2020 | DDC 810.8/0928708995972—dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2019047362
This and other Minnesota Historical Society Press books are available from popular e-book vendors.
Hnub Tshiab: A New Day!
Valuing Women. Cultivating Leaders. Changing Lives.
This book is dedicated to Hmong women and girls.
Contents
Acknowledgments
Preface
Editor’s Reflections: Staring Down the Tiger
Introduction
Part 1: A Woman’s Journey
Creating a Narrative for Hmong Women Pa Der Vang
How to Make Squirrel Stew Pa Xiong
Soldier B31 Song Yang
The River BoNhia Lee
The White Roses Duabhav BJ Lee
Lub Ntuj Tshiab: Under a New Sky Kia M. Lor
Lub Neej Paj Ntaub Tou SaiKo Lee
Part 2: Ua Siab Ntev
On Choice Lyncy Yang
Because I Love You Pa Der Vang
Kuv Niam Gao Vang
Running Away Mai Neng Moua
My Sister Is Depressed Maly Vang
Daughter Poem Talee Vang
Part 3: Grand (Mothers) We Love
The Grandmothers We Love Boonmee Yang
The Chicken in the Airport MaiThao Xiong
In Her Death, My Mother Came to Life Linda Vang Kim
On Father’s Day Nou Yang
Pure Love Douachee Vang
My Grandma Can Freestyle Tou SaiKo Lee
Part 4: Moving through Cultures
My Name Is Hmong Mainhia Moua
The Back of the Line Dee Kong
the reasons we stand Boonmee Yang
Gatekeepers Kia Moua
Part 5: Breaking Barriers
Roasted Duck Pa Xiong
Never Again MayKao Y. Hang
Orders Duabhav BJ Lee
Braving Imperfections Douachee Vang
Profile of a Hmong Leader Kao Kalia Yang
Maum Tshis Coj Ntug: The Trailblazer Kia M. Lor
Craving to Be a Hmong Woman Npaus Baim Her
Breaking Worlds Renee Ya
Impossible Dream Gaosong V. Heu
Malia Yang-Xiong’s Leadership with Hmong Students Npaus Baim Her
History of Hnub Tshiab
Hnub Tshiab’s Beginnings
Hnub Tshiab Board Members
Reading Guide
Acknowledgments
Thank you to our supporters who made this book possible. We want to thank Wells Fargo for the initial funding that allowed us to begin this book. Thank you to MayKao Fredericks for believing in us and for always supporting Hmong women writers. Thank you to Kimberly Nightingale for your consultation and initial editing of the book and to the Minnesota Museum of American Art for opening your doors during our initial readings of selected works from this anthology. Thank you MaiThao Xiong, Ying Lee, and May Lee-Yang for your assistance in reviewing the first round of submissions for this book. Thank you to Ann Regan for believing in Hmong women. Finally, thank you to the Hmong women, mothers, grandmothers, aunts, daughters, and sisters in our lives whose stories form the basis for this book.
Preface
Pa Der Vang
It is that act of speech, of “talking back,” that is no mere gesture of empty words, that is the expression of our movement from object to subject—the liberated voice.
—bell hooks, Talking Back: Thinking Feminist, Thinking Black
Growing up, I was always curious about the role of Hmong women in Hmong history. After seeing the movie Mulan as a child, I thought maybe Hmong women also took part in their journey from historical wars to America. After learning that Hmong came from China, a part of me wanted to believe that Mulan was Hmong, especially since this was my first time seeing an American cartoon depicting an Asian female lead character. I searched hard for stories about Hmong women in warrior or leadership roles, but found none that had been documented. I heard about Shwj Mim Mos, the Hmong Mulan, from stories shared by Hmong women during community gatherings, but no further details were provided about who she was, where she came from, how she became this mythical character, what her life was like, how she felt about her experience, what struggles she endured. No one really knew. Hers was a story that was rarely told. However, Shwj Mim Mos’s existence, although in the shadows of men, gave evidence to girls that Hmong women were possibly warriors, too. Few people have heard about Shwj Mim Mos since stories about Hmong women leaders are often left untold in lieu of stories about Hmong men leaders.
I searched on the internet for Shwj Mim Mos and terms like “Hmong Mulan,” “Hmong women warriors,” “historical Hmong women leaders.” I came upon a picture of nurse Choua Thao, who is often featured as an influential Hmong woman during the Vietnam War.1 This picture was evidence to me that Hmong women played a very important role in our history during the war, yet it was difficult to find stories about other Hmong women beyond highlights about leaders like KaYing Yang, Bo Thao, Senator Mee Moua, MayKao Hang, Gaoly Yang, and Sy Vang Mouacheupao. Forgive me if I don’t name all the women leaders, for it is very important in the Hmong culture to receive the appropriate recognition, an honor and privilege rarely given to Hmong women. The search for Hmong women leaders often landed me at the Minnesota Historical Society’s “Hmong Women in Minnesota Timeline,” which starts in 1975 and lists all of these names and more.
I was curious
about the personal stories of Hmong women not only since their arrival in America but also in their journeys from Laos. They didn’t have to be famous people or community leaders or involved in the military. Bringing their families from Laos to the United States involved some type of leadership, fortitude, and resilience, yet these stories were difficult to find. Creating a new life in a foreign land, raising children when you don’t speak the language or understand the culture, earning a living and working for an employer who doesn’t speak your language nor understand your culture, navigating changes in your relationships because the definitions of your role have drastically changed—all these responsibilities require courage, nimbleness, and discernment. It felt like Hmong women were just the objects in a story, objects whose agency and leadership were often ignored or dismissed by the larger narrative. My questions were: How did the women feel? What were their struggles? What did they think about? What were their worries? How did they endure and toil and survive such a difficult time? How did they do it? What was their thought process? I could not find answers in the literature. These stories about Hmong women were absent.
I wanted to bring life to the women, to honor them as the subjects in their own stories. Women have agency, yet they were portrayed as the objects in narratives about Hmong. I wanted to provide another platform to curate Hmong women’s movement from object to subject.2
This book is the second publication in a project to share stories about Hmong women in America. An annual board retreat of Hnub Tshiab (pronounced Hnoo Chia): Hmong Women Achieving Together in 2015 served as a springboard for this book. We wanted to curate stories of Hmong women’s leadership. We wanted to make available stories of Hmong women leaders for our Hmong boys and girls to consume. We recognized that Hmong women’s stories are often absent in today’s literature, especially in narratives about Hmong refugees in which the soldiers’ stories are most valued. The first book, Hmong Women Write Now: An Anthology of Creative Writing and Visual Artwork by Hmong Women and Girls, was published in 2011 and edited by May Lee-Yang and Saymoukda Vongsay. This second book continues this work with a similar focus on collecting Hmong women’s narratives. These stories have often been silenced throughout our long history. Staring Down the Tiger provides a platform for these stories to come to life. We are privileged to share these stories with the world.
1. Choua Thao resides in San Jose, California. She immigrated to the United States in April 1975, immediately following the end of the Vietnam War. She served as a nurse for the American Sam Thong Hospital at the age of twenty-two.
2. bell hooks, Talking Back: Thinking Feminist, Thinking Black (Ontario: Between the Lines, 1989).
Staring Down the Tiger
EDITOR’S REFLECTIONS
Staring Down the Tiger
The tiger is a mythical creature in many cultures. It is revered for its strength and solitude. It has the ability to silently sneak up on an unsuspecting victim and consume it, either literally or metaphorically. The tiger is to be feared. It often represents death, for it can take life. In folklore, “A Girl, a Warrior, and a Tiger” tells of a Hmong girl who unintentionally lured a tiger to the village with her singing. The tiger hid along the edge of town, watching the Hmong. It wanted to possess their skill. Slowly, it killed every Hmong person in order to consume their talents. A shaman fought the tiger, and although he lost the battle, he learned what the tiger wanted. He told every Hmong to no longer share their talents in public or risk the tiger taking away their skills. Hmong are to be humble and not boast about their talents. The tiger still roams freely to this day. In the face of fear and mystery, it is better for one to retreat rather than fight the tiger. Do not agitate or awaken the tiger, or one could get bitten. Do not be boastful or “thaj loj” (show off), lest one be bitten. Do not sing unnecessarily or talk pointlessly; one could get bitten. Do not try to fight the tiger or approach it; you will be bitten.
The tiger sparks intrigue and curiosity. Hmong children are taught to stay away from the tiger, which in turn creates curiosity and childlike rebellion. Only an ignorant child would try to approach the tiger and get bitten. The phrase Hmong often use is “tigerbite,” which means you were foolish and unwise for allowing yourself to get bitten by the tiger. You were stupid enough to approach the tiger and get bitten. You are a tigerbite.
The tiger might be feared for its strength and prowess, but it can easily be trapped and tricked. Although it was considered a formidable opponent, the tiger is also vulnerable to wit. In the folktale “The Woman and the Tiger,” brothers set a trap and capture the tiger. In the folktale “Nine in One: Grrr! Grrr!” the tiger is tricked to believe that it can have only one baby in nine years—implying that although the tiger is strong, one can outsmart it. The tiger’s vulnerabilities make it not entirely unapproachable.
The women in this book have turned that metaphor on its head. They are reclaiming the metaphor of the tiger. While they may fear the tiger, they have chosen to face it. They recognize that the tiger too has vulnerabilities. With honor and reverence, the women in this book choose to stare down the tiger. Instead of backing down and hiding our talents or stories for fear the tiger may consume us, we are staring down the tiger. We all have vulnerabilities. Writers explore the fear of speaking up and the impulse to hide one’s talents; Gaosong V. Heu speaks eloquently about reclaiming the term tigerbite. Despite fears of the tiger, the women in this book choose to speak up. They found their voice and are staring down the tiger.
The book is organized into the following themes: A Woman’s Journey, Ua Siab Ntev (Be Patient), Grand (Mothers) We Love, Moving through Cultures, and Breaking Barriers. Each theme captures the lived experiences of Hmong women as they journeyed from Laos to America, life in America, and pushing beyond barriers as bicultural women.
The themes are centered on different aspects of women’s physical and psychological journey in their immigrant story. This journey came with loss of home, loss of family, and loss of loved ones. Women lost husbands, children, and many immediate and extended family members. They lost the homes they always knew, as well as their sense of belonging and community. Hmong women struggled to create a sense of home and belonging in their new country. As Hmong women developed new homes and communities for themselves, they struggled with the loss of competency and mastery over their own lives. Suddenly, they could not speak the language; they could not understand the culture and social norms. They had to rely on their children and strangers to complete everyday tasks.
They clung to memories of the Mekong River, water as a source of life and calm, yet the Mekong River was the site of death and turmoil for many Hmong. Pictures of loved ones are the only remaining mementos. Grave sites of loved ones who served in the war stand as reminders of our history and of the community’s loss. For those born after the Secret War or in the United States, who have no real memory of the events in Laos and beyond, these memories were passed on.1 There is a sense of loss for them as well; even in the absence of a true loss, they feel and embody the losses handed down by their parents and grandparents. They wade through these memories in search of their identities. The influence of Hmong women is revealed in these stories shared here by their children. The mother is honored for her love and sacrifice; in memories and stories about immigration, mother is poignant. Children take on the sorrow, loss, and memories of the women who came before them in order to connect to their origins.
Women lost their old selves, yet they could never claim their new selves in the United States, for they could never become truly American in a white supremacist world where to be American is to be white. Mothers struggled to understand their new culture and the new ways of life their American-born children so easily enjoyed. The women’s lack of knowledge in the new world rendered them incompetent after having been competent leaders of their children and households. The stories give the reader a sense of loss, yet humor, as mothers struggled to understand their new world; although they detested some ways of their new home country, t
hey knew there was no going back to the old ways. They learned to embrace the new. There were no written rules for how to confront their new world. As both narrators and subjects, these Hmong women are heroines, and their stories tell of ways in which they made sense of domestic violence and early marriage and how they imposed psychological boundaries as a result of cultural boundaries. Hmong women tell of their sisters and mothers who went on to get an education in the United States and returned to their communities as leaders. These stories were hidden from us for a long time. This book seeks to shed light on these stories.
1. The Secret War (1961–75) was a clandestine military effort conducted during the Vietnam War by the US government in northern Laos in which the American CIA engaged in efforts to intervene in external support from North Vietnamese Communist factions to Pathet Lao. Thousands of Hmong were recruited as soldiers. This effort led to the loss of many Hmong soldiers and the persecution of many Hmong following the end of the war in 1975.
Introduction
Hmong arrived in the United States soon after the fall of Saigon in 1975. Hmong in the United States are mostly from Southeast Asia and were recruited as soldiers to fight alongside the Americans during the Secret War of the Vietnam era. Following the end of the war, thousands of Hmong refugees immigrated to the United States. The 2010 US Census counted more than 260,000 Hmong, encompassing three generations. The Hmong story is complex, containing pre- and post-migration struggles, intergenerational conflict, gender/familial role changes, and cultural transitions, among many other challenges. In that narrative are many untold stories from Hmong women and their children. This book aims to shed light on those stories, with themes that include experiences specific to Hmong women such as marriage, cultural transition, memory, loss, and breaking through barriers.