by Kaye Blue
She was smart, something I had known but had been surprising when she’d instantly picked up on the fact that this was a safe house and not my home.
For people in my line of work, it wouldn’t have been a mystery, but that Adora had been so quick only raised her in my esteem.
The Brotherhood tried to give safe houses a feeling of informality, but it hadn’t fooled her.
And only convinced me I had done the right thing.
My home wasn’t much more than a place to sleep, but to take her there, show her even more of the me I had forgotten existed, was too risky. She might be able to see through me, see the feelings I knew were impossible but that were there nonetheless.
Knew that the more I opened to her, the more risk there was to the thing I had been certain didn’t exist.
My heart.
She chose that moment to emerge, and for a split second I froze, all my thoughts freezing with me.
She was always beautiful, but there was something softer about her now, a vulnerability I hadn’t seen before.
She smiled, and I could tell she was resisting the urge to thank me again.
I had little knowledge of these things, but I knew I’d never seen anything as beautiful as she was then.
Had never met a greater test of my will.
“You okay?”
She nodded. “Feel almost human even. I guess the shower did the trick.”
“You need some rest,” I said.
I felt like I was on solid ground again.
This, I could manage.
Making sure she took care of herself.
Making sure she was all right.
“I’m fine,” she said before she yawned loudly, unabashedly.
She chuckled.
“It’s the adrenaline wearing off,” I said.
“You know a lot about that?”
“More than you,” I said.
More than I want to, I thought to myself.
“But seriously, go lie down,” I said.
She yawned again and then smiled sheepishly.
“I guess that means I shouldn’t try to argue.”
“It won’t get you anywhere,” I said.
“I suspected as much,” she responded.
“Bedroom’s in the back.”
She shifted her weight from one from one foot to another then looked at my eyes.
“Would you mind sitting with me for a while? Never mind,” she quickly.
After a moment, she retreated, seeming embarrassed that she’d asked the question, but I stayed where I was, not daring to close the distance between us.
Not yet.
But after a moment, when I knew I had control, I followed and sat in a chair across from the bed.
She looked relieved, and it took everything I had not to go to her.
But I stayed where I was, wanting her with everything I had.
Happy and grateful that I could be here when she so clearly needed me.
I waited and watched as she settled in the bed, wanting more than anything to join her but knowing I shouldn’t.
Couldn’t.
So]
I stayed where I was, not moving even after she fell asleep.
Fourteen
Adora
I woke up sometime in the middle of the night.
A strong hand had closed around my arm, the hold tight but not punishing.
I wrapped my hand around a strong wrist, reason coming back to me as I realized it was Mikhail.
Remembered what had happened.
“You had a bad dream,” he whispered, his voice quiet, strong. Making me feel grounded.
“I…”
I stammered, shifted in bed, and then met his eyes.
Moved on instinct, I wrapped my arms around him, pressed my face against his chest.
Not something I would ordinarily do, but these were anything but ordinary times.
I squeezed him tight, held him with everything I had.
Tears burned behind my eyes, but holding him helped me keep them at bay. He was wearing a thin T-shirt and pair of shorts, and feeling the strength of his body against mine was another welcome distraction.
I held him and he held me back until I finally broke away.
“Would you… Forget it,” I said.
“What?” he asked.
“Would you mind lying down with me?” I asked, feeling shy but also needing him enough to push those feelings aside.
“I’d be honored,” he said, his expression so serious I couldn’t help but smile.
I shifted in the large bed, making a space for him.
He walked toward me, his powerful body flexing with each step, and lay beside me.
“Thanks.” I laughed. “Forget I said that.”
He huffed, something between a laugh and snort, and then settled beside me.
I lay on my side, my back to him, and not a second later, he wrapped his arms around me.
Held me tight.
The moment was sweet, peaceful.
And so much more.
I pressed my back closer to him, so close it was impossible to miss the hardness of his erection.
He was fire, and I knew what playing with fire could cause.
But I wasn’t playing.
Not at all.
I ground my hips against him, trapping his cock between my ass cheeks.
He groaned. “Adora.”
“Yes?” I said, arching my back, pressing even more closely against him.
“You’ve had a difficult night. You’re not yourself,” he said.
He was trying to talk me out of this, but even as he did, he gripped my waist tight and rocked his hips against mine.
“True. I have had a difficult night, but I’m myself. More myself than I’ve been in a long time,” I said.
It wasn’t the kind of confession I’d ordinarily make, but it felt right to do so now. Because I’d lost everything tonight but had gained a clarity, one that made it impossible for me to deny what was happening between us.
To prove that point to him, I reached behind me and wrapped my hand around his cock and stroked the length of his shaft. I paused long enough to squeeze the crown of his shaft and sighed when a burst of precum leaked out of him.
“Adora…”
He said my name again, half plea, half warning, and entirely erotic.
“Mikhail,” I said.
“Say that again,” he whispered roughly, his hand tightening on my hips before he reached around and slipped it inside my waistband.
“Mikhail,” I repeated.
He pulled the pants down, did the same for his own and rocked his hips against mine, his hot, hard flesh against my skin better than I could have imagined.
“Again.”
His voice was rough, but also needy in a way that only pulled me in deeper.
“Mikhail—”
My voice cut off short when he pushed two thick fingers inside me, testing my readiness.
And I was ready.
His length and thickness were eye-popping, but I’d never been wetter in my life, and I was eager to take him, all of him.
He was too, something that was proved by his rough breaths and the slight tremor in his hand when he lined his cock up against my entrance.
I arched deeper, wanting him, hoping he could see how much.
Smart man that he was, he did. He wasted no time thrusting, filling me in one smooth stroke.
I was full, more than, stretched to what I felt was my limit.
“Oh God,” I muttered.
“Yeah,” he said, still for a moment, clearly giving me time to adjust.
Time that I needed.
One second passed, another, another still, my soaking pussy pulsing around him.
After one of those tremors, he moaned out and rocked his hips slightly.
It was enough.
That one small stroke broke open a wave.
“I need you, Mikhail,” I said, sounding like a needy, despera
te woman, one I’d never thought myself to be.
“So you shall have me,” he said.
Without pause, he thrust hard enough to shift me on the bed. He held my hips tight and fucked me relentlessly, his cock stretching me, each of his strong thrusts rocking through my body.
I felt like I was racing for my climax and went over before I could catch a breath.
I clamped down on him tight, so tight it was hard for him to move. He groaned, his cock hardening inside me.
Still, he kept thrusting, fucking me until I came again.
As I reached that second climax, he stilled and let out a long sigh, his breath coming out hot as he released inside me, painting my womb with his cum.
Nothing had ever felt so perfect.
Or hadn’t until he slipped out of me and then pulled me into his arms.
He kissed my shoulder then squeezed me tight.
As I drifted off, I realized I’d never felt so safe.
Mikhail
I couldn’t believe I’d fallen asleep.
Had told myself to savor every single moment with her.
But despite my best efforts, I’d drifted off and only woke when Adora tried to get out of bed.
“You going somewhere?” I asked.
She laughed. “I guess I shouldn’t have expected to sneak past you.”
“Nope,” I replied.
“Be back in a minute,” she said.
She walked away, giving me a great view of her amazing ass. I was hard in an instant, anxious for her to get back.
When she did, I wasted no time.
After she lay down, I slid under her, making her straddle me.
She was so beautiful it made my heart ache.
She only became more so when she rolled her hips and captured my cock between her pussy lips.
She was wet, hot perfection, and between her dark nipples, which had pebbled under my gaze, her full hips, and her soaking wet center, I didn’t know what I wanted first.
Decided I didn’t need to choose.
I latched onto her nipple and bit down gently at the same time as I held her hips and lifted her over my cock.
I settled her down, filling her inch by inch until there wasn’t any space between us.
“What are you doing to me, Mikhail?” she said on a deep sigh.
It should have been me asking that question. Between hearing her say my name the feeling of being inside her, I barely knew anything.
But I did know I wanted her with all I had, knew that she made me feel alive for the first time in years.
And as I pounded into her, fucking her with all the emotion I couldn’t put into words, I knew I would never be able to let her go.
Fifteen
Adora
When I woke for the third time, Mikhail was awake, staring at me.
He had rough-looking stubble on his cheeks, and his hair was disheveled.
He was perfection.
“Morning,” he whispered.
“Isn’t it ever?” I answered.
He gave me a soft smile and then turned serious.
“What?” I asked, not exactly concerned, at least not yet.
“I’m clean. Haven’t been with anyone for many years,” he said, nodding his head toward the crumpled bedsheets.
“What? Oh,” I said, when I realized what he meant.
“I hadn’t even thought about it,” I said.
“I know. I should have, but please know you can trust me.”
“I do,” I said, knowing it might be stupid but that I did trust him. “And I am too. And I’m on birth control.”
He nodded, though he didn’t seem especially happy. Something I decided not to consider too closely.
“So, we’re good?” I asked a moment later. “If you are.”
“I am,” he said.
I smiled. “I wish everything could be so easy.”
He huffed but then went quiet.
“Why haven’t you—”
He looked toward his pants, frowning at the sound of his phone vibrating.
“I’ll ignore it,” he said.
“No,” I interjected. “Don’t.”
“I’m sure it’s not a big deal,” he said, though his expression told me he wasn’t so sure.
“Mikhail, answer the phone.”
He looked like he wanted to argue but grabbed it.
“Yeah. When. Okay,” he said.
Then he hung up.
“Not one for extra words,” I said with a laugh.
“Not usually. Adora, I need to—”
“Mikhail, this is your place.” I looked around. “I think. But I will kick you out. Now go!”
He laughed, the sound rich, full, free in way I hadn’t heard from him before.
“Fine,” he said.
He kissed me, deep, hard, and then headed toward the bathroom.
Within a half hour, he was dressed. He kissed me again and walked out.
After he left, I lingered, not entirely sure why I had insisted he go.
That wasn’t completely true.
I knew he had something to do, just as I knew he would have ignored it if I’d asked him to.
I wouldn’t do that.
Wouldn’t allow myself to rely on him any more than I already had.
Especially since I wanted him here so much, felt like I needed him. I wouldn’t ever allow myself to need anyone. Wouldn’t let myself be that vulnerable.
So instead of hiding, thinking of all I’d lost, or worse, pining for him, I took the money he’d left and bought a couple of outfits from a discount department store.
I hated wearing clothes without washing them first, but once I left the store, I felt something like normal.
Of course, I was anything but, a truth only highlighted by the fact that I’d bought a purse and had nothing but lip gloss inside it.
That empty bag was so representative of my life right now, and the pain of that realization hit me again anew.
That happy thought in mind, I made my way to my next destination.
I was dreading going to the bakery, something that had never happened before.
It had been my refuge, and even though I had seen it fall with my own eyes, I wasn’t prepared to see it again.
But I wouldn’t avoid it.
Or avoid it too much anyway.
I took the long way to get to the bakery, not in any hurry, but when I rounded the corner, I slowed as the first hint of smoke hit me.
That was just the first warning of what was awaiting me, and as I got closer and took in the full weight of the devastation, I was crushed all over again.
Some small part of me had hoped I’d get there and realize I’d been overexaggerating in my mind, that it wasn’t as bad as I’d thought it had been.
But as I got closer and saw the tape and sign the fire department had left on the sidewalk because there were no exterior walls, no walls of any kind, I felt almost as empty as I had the day my parents died.
There was no reason to stay, but I did, walking the perimeter of the property.
“We can rebuild.”
I turned to look at Howard. He looked tired, broken.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
“I got your voicemail when I woke up. I tried to call you, but…” He shrugged.
“Yeah, my phone went up in the fire.”
After I’d called Mikhail, I hadn’t even thought about my cell phone. Probably should have made getting a prepaid a priority with the money he’d given me.
But then, what did it matter? I didn’t need to get in touch with anyone.
“Did they put you up in a shelter or something? You need somewhere to stay?” Howard asked.
“No, I’m good,” I said, deciding not to tell him more.
It was petty, and I wasn’t angry, not really, but it was easy enough to focus the emotions on Howard and how he hadn’t been there.
“Your insurance policies are in order?” I asked.
He
was momentarily stunned, which said it all.
I never asked about the workings of the building, the business, only mentioned things that affected me directly.
Insurance hadn’t been one of them.
“I’m taking care of it,” he said.
“Okay,” I said.
That was a nonanswer, but I just didn’t have the stomach to push.
I’d had the wind knocked out of me and had almost nothing left.
What energy I did have wouldn’t be wasted on Howard.
“I know you loved this place, Adora. It will be back, and better,” he said.
He looked over to me then, put an arm around my shoulder, and after a moment’s hesitation I turned and let myself be fully developed his embrace.
As he hugged me, I thought about an earlier time when he’d done so. How I’d relied on him when I’d had no one else to comfort me.
Remembered how that pain had driven me into his arms.
This time, I felt nothing.
Still, I held on to him, some part of me realizing that letting him go would be me letting go of so much more.
I broke away.
He didn’t resist and instead said, “You’ll let me know if you need anything?”
“I will, Howard. And I’m sorry about the bakery,” I said.
“No, I’m the one who is sorry,” he said, sounding honest.
“I have the information for the detective in charge of the case, but she said they would try to reach out to you if you can’t call,” I said.
“Case?” he asked.
He looked surprised.
“Yeah. They don’t know how the fire started, so they have to investigate.”
“They don’t think it was electrical? Maybe something left on in the kitchen?” he said.
I bristled at the implication, the suggestion that I was somehow responsible, but I tried not to show it.
“They don’t know, which is why the police are looking into it.”
I sounded defensive, but I remembered the way the patrol officer had spoken to me last night. Asking if I’d left something on, maybe intentionally.
Treating me like it was my fault.
My only saving grace had been that I was in the building, so it seemed unlikely I would intentionally torch it while I was inside.
I supposed it had probably been done before, so I couldn’t be too angry at the officer. But Howard should have known better. Should have known that I took better care of the bakery than I did anything else, including myself.
