by Erica Kiefer
***
I did, in fact, survive Nick’s presence. When Sunday morning arrived, Nick and Aaron packed up to return to the dorms, so I didn’t need to put up with him for long. He didn’t even pretend to say goodbye. Instead, he slipped out the front door and made his way to the Infinity Dad bought him as a college gift. I couldn’t help thinking what nice timing it was for Nick to marry into Dad’s generosity.
“Maybe I’ll see you around some time,” Aaron said to me. He pulled a hat over his head as he stood inside the frame of the front door.
“Yeah, maybe,” I said, though I highly doubted that would happen any time soon. The next time I visited Danville, I would ensure Nick was in the middle of finals or something to prevent any overlap.
“Well, if you ever need a babysitter for future concerts, you know who to call…”
I shoved his shoulder, pushing him out the door. “And this is where we say goodbye. Wouldn’t want to keep you from your sophisticated college life.” I tried to close the door on Aaron, but he caught the edge with his hand.
“Oh, come on, I’m only joking!”
I gave half a smile. “And I’m sure your sense of humor is a real hit with your late-night girlfriends. Good luck with that, by the way.”
Aaron lifted his chin with a wide grin. “Luck is for amateurs. I can handle the ladies just fine without it.” He chuckled as he sauntered down the porch steps. I shook my head, both repulsed and amused at the same time. “Take it easy, Allie,” he called over his shoulder.
I watched him chat with Dad and Clara at the end of the driveway before I shrugged my shoulders and shut the door.
The part of the weekend that did seem unbearable was the visit from Uncle Bill and Aunt Heidi around noon. I’d anticipated seeing them at some point. They only lived ten minutes away from Dad, and it would have been weird not to see them. But I’d secretly hoped that I’d take on food poisoning or develop a sudden illness that would prevent me from coming out of my room. No such luck.
From inside my bedroom, I heard the doorbell ring. My stomach knotted. I closed my eyes, wondering if I could feign a deep sleep. From outside the door, I heard their lively conversation. Everyone sounded happy, and I knew I shouldn’t worry about seeing my aunt and uncle. Until we moved from Danville, they were a constant presence in our lives.
So was Maddie.
I knew that was the real reason I hesitated to see them—only them. Knowing my little cousin wouldn’t come bounding from behind her parents and beating them for a hug caused a heavy pressure in my chest. On top of that, I couldn’t help but remember the only hurtful words ever uttered by my aunt at the hospital. I knew she’d said them in a moment of agony. She had apologized later. But I couldn’t completely erase the cutting words from my mind—because I believed them. I would always believe them.
Breathing deeply, I stepped out of the bedroom. Conversations came to a quiet halt as I appeared at the end of the hallway. Having opted out of the fall break visit with my dad, this was my first time seeing Uncle Bill and Aunt Heidi again since last summer. All eyes fell on me, and I felt heat rising from my neck and spreading through my cheeks. I swallowed, wishing I could dowse myself in water or disappear into the floor—anything to escape being the center of attention.
Leah, always the most sensitive to my emotions, quickly returned to her story, pulling Dad back into her conversation. Taylor jumped in, too. Light chatter began again as I made my way towards the couches.
My aunt and uncle stood and hurried towards me. Aunt Heidi reached me first, pulling me tightly against her. “I’m so glad you came this time,” she murmured in my ear. She kept her hands on my shoulders when she stepped back, matching my gaze. She spoke each word with emphasis. “It’s good to see you, Allie.” With those few words and the embrace between us, I could feel how much she wanted me to believe her—to know that she didn’t blame me for Maddie’s drowning, even now.
My lip trembled, threatening to spill over into an ugly bucket-lip cry, but I turned it into a tight smile. “It’s good to see you, too.” I knew she saw the tears in my eyes. I knew she sensed my fight for control. She squeezed my hands and then passed me into Uncle Bill’s embrace.
“How you doing, kid?” He kissed the top of my head.
After that, the worst of the weekend was over. In some ways, dreading it had been worse than the experience itself. We talked and laughed over lunch, with ESPN droning in the background for Uncle Bill. My heart lightened, and I enjoyed the next couple of hours before returning to Portland.
