by Lizzy Prince
“Silas, if you want me to let go, then you’re going to have to let go first.”
With another groan, this one sounding more pained, he releases my hand, and I pull mine back to the safety of my own lap. We bounce down the uneven gravel road for another ten minutes at least. I finally get sick of my snarled hair and dig around in my bag for a spare ponytail holder and throw it up in a messy bun. It’s the best I can do in a dark car on a bumpy road.
When I finally see a twinkle of a distant light ahead, my stomach does a nervous flip. I have no idea what to expect from a wolf shaman, wise-woman, mystic-type person. Will she take one look at me and dismiss my presence, wondering what the hell I’m doing there? Will she be able to tell us anything? Or be able to help Silas? What if she helps Silas and I find out that I’m not his mate and that there’s someone else out there who is literally made to be with him for eternity. The little pit in my stomach starts to grow larger and larger until it feels like I’ve swallowed a boulder and it’s pressing against my lungs. By the time a house comes into view, I feel like I can’t get a good, deep breath.
“Bridget, calm down. It’s okay. Everything will be okay.” Silas turns to me after he puts the car in park, his hand coming up to cup my cheek. I can’t speak right now because I’m afraid of all the unspoken words and wishes and hopes that might spew from my lips. All I can do is nod and sit like a stone until Silas is at my door, opening it and letting in a blast of cold air. It’s like a slap of reality in my face, telling me to wake the hell up. What do I think I’m going to get out of this? Why would I think I get to walk away with Silas at my side? As mine. I’m not that girl. Those things don’t happen to me. I’m the cute friend, the sweet sidekick. I don’t get to end up with the badass, hot as all the flames in hell combined, werewolf.
Still, I’m here now, and I’ll be at Silas’s side, supporting him and being whatever he needs me to be while he tries to figure this all out. It’s not his fault he was cursed. He didn’t do anything wrong. He deserves happiness just as much as I do, and dammit, I love him. I want him to be happy. It physically hurts thinking that he might be denied the opportunity. So, I push aside my wimpy pity party and straighten my shoulders. Only for all my resolve to melt away when Silas is there to help me out of his 4Runner. Crap. I want him to be happy with me. That’s not too much to ask, is it?
I’ve been too busy having my mini freak out to pay attention to our surroundings. We’re parked at the end of a long gravel lane that curves and twists through heavily-wooded timber. In front of us is a small stone cottage, that looks more inviting than I would have imagined for the setting. Not to mention we’re going to see some magic woman in the woods. Shouldn’t there be dark shadows looming over everything? Instead, the glow of the lights inside are spilling out into the yard, making the house look inviting and warm. There’s a lantern shaped porch light that’s on, as if to say, why yes, someone is at home. I really hope there’s not a hunchbacked witch who cooks children in her oven in there.
Silas keeps my hand tucked inside his, and I burrow into his side when a blast of cold air barrels down the yard and swirls around us. He drapes his arm over my shoulder, pulling me in closer to his body to act as a barricade to the wind. The front door is bright red, and there’s a wreath made out of sticks and berries hanging there. Silas knocks with a brisk and firm tap, and my heart speeds up as we wait. It doesn’t take more than a few moments before the door opens up to reveal a young woman.
I don’t know why I was thinking she’d be some hunched, gnarled old crone, but that is definitely not the case. She’s probably not much older than me, with long dark brown hair that flows halfway down her back. Her skin looks golden from the sun, although there is a certain tinge to her skin that makes her seem tired or unwell somehow. Her eyes are such a dark brown that they almost look black, and those eyes are haunted. As if she’s been terrorized and seen things that would make the most stoic person weep in pain. The look is so desolate that it’s all I can do not to reach out and hold her. I find myself biting the inside of my cheek and swallowing back the urge to burst into tears.
“I take it you’re not lost?” the woman says, her voice throaty and just as disquieting as her eyes.
“We’ve come to see you, I believe,” Silas answers, his words rumbling against the side of me that’s pressed up against him.
With an accepting sigh, she steps back, opening the door wider, and waves us inside. “Come in then.”
The inside of the little house is just as quaint and perfect as the outside. Immediately in front of us is a set of stairs that leads up to the second floor. It’s dark to the left, but it looks like there’s a den or some small office there. To the right is a living room with a bright fire flickering brightly in the fireplace. I’m dying to go stand in front of it and warm myself like a rotisserie chicken, spinning around until I’m toasty, front and back. I’m so very happy when she walks us into that room, instead of forcing us to stay in the small entryway. It would be her right. We’re just two people who popped up on her doorstep without any warning. At least, I don’t think Silas called ahead or anything. Does she even get cell service out here?
“Take a seat.” The woman motions toward an overstuffed couch that looks like it would be great for taking naps. She sits down in a beautiful rustic wood armchair with thick gray cushions. We follow suit and settle on the couch, although I’m only perched on the edge of the cushion. If I sit back any further, my feet will dangle off the edge like a little kid’s. It’s not a good look on me.
“Thank you for letting us come in. I’m Silas, and this is Bridget.” Silas leans forward a little. His large body is taking up nearly half the couch, and I can tell he’s trying to minimize his presence so as not to seem so intimidating. He might as well not even bother because there’s no tamping down his vibrant power and ferocity. I press my lips together to squash my smile, because it is sweet that he's trying to tone it down a bit.
The woman nods brusquely as her eyes travel from Silas to me, and I let a tentative smile free. “I’m Thea. What is it that you need from me?” She sounds tired, and now that we’re in the brighter light of the living room, I can see the shadows beneath her eyes. A frown creases her brow as if she has a headache.
“My pack tells stories of your abilities, your strength as a seer.”
When Thea doesn’t respond with anything more than a slow blink, Silas continues, “I’ve been cursed. I don’t know how to remove it. I was hoping you might be able to help.”
Thea is sitting back in her chair, not exactly relaxed, but I think that’s how she wants to appear. It almost works, but her hands give her away. Her finger is tapping the wooden arm of her chair in a rapid tattoo. She finally stops the motion as if she just realized what she was doing. Her dark eyes scan over Silas’s face, assessing, searching for something.
“You’re an alpha.” It’s a statement, not a question. Thea doesn’t look particularly inclined to help him in any way, and I start to sweat. That nervous, flop-sweat that happens when you're somehow cold and perspiring at the same time, like some kind of magical body phenomena.
“I am Alpha of my pack.”
Thea doesn’t react, obviously expecting as much. “Perhaps you deserve your curse.”
Silas bristles beside me, but I can tell he’s trying to keep his temper in check. We didn’t drive all this way to be dismissed so casually. Silas opens his mouth to speak and then shuts it, probably thinking better of whatever he was about to say.
“If I have done something to deserve this curse, then whomever I’ve wronged should have accused me to my face. Not slammed me with a curse like a coward.” There’s a bite to his words, and I can see the pulse in his neck throbbing wildly as he struggles to control his anger. I press into his side and place a gentle hand to his knee, rubbing my thumb back and forth as if that small movement could possibly sooth him. Surprisingly, he does calm a little, and a soft exhale puffs against the side of my face as he turns to
look at me. The desperation and pain in his mossy green eyes causes my own to well up with unshed tears. Silas is a leader, the Alpha of his pack, to feel so shackled, so helpless in this situation has to be killing him. Not only that, but he’s also very aware of how I’ve been hurt, and I’m starting to realize how much it’s eating him up inside.
I blink a few times and suck in a deep breath, tamping down on my emotions so I can talk to Thea without turning into a blubbering mess. Tearing my eyes away from Silas feels wrong, but necessary. When I look at Thea, I find her already staring at me, causing me to blush under the scrutiny.
“Um… Thea, I am the first to admit I know next to nothing about this world. I don’t know how someone is able to curse another person, and I don’t know why anyone would curse Silas. What I do know is that he is valued and admired where we live. His friends love him, and he inspires loyalty among his pack. He’s a kind man, and I’ve never known him to intentionally hurt someone.” Silas’s head bows next to me, as if he both loves and hates my words. I know he’s not one to let someone else fight his battles for him, but he’s giving me my chance to speak since this whole situation has messed up my life, too. That, and I don’t think he likes being praised. Well, tough.
“This curse hasn’t just impacted him, it... it broke my heart.” I feel those damn tears start to gather again, and I blow out a ragged breath, trying to regain my composure. “I don’t know how or if you can even help us, but I’m begging you to try. Please.”
“You’re human,” is all Thea says in response.
“Uh, yes,” I whisper as I watch her eyes travel back and forth between me and Silas.
“And you’re with the Alpha?” Her eyes land back on me, and I nod, uncertain where she’s going with her questions.
“I’ll need to touch you,” Thea says, a note of defeat in her voice as she studies Silas once again.
Silas sits up a little straighter and holds out his hand, eager for her to do anything she needs to do to figure out his curse. Instead of grabbing hold of his hand, Thea barely touches the tip of his finger with one of hers. She gasps at the contact, her face contorting as she tries to conceal how much it hurts. I press my fist against my mouth, wincing uncomfortably. It never occurred to me that her help would require pain on her end. I keep my mouth shut though, because I don’t want to interrupt. What if I say something and she has to start all over, only causing her more pain?
Thea only touches him for a few moments before she yanks her hand back. She sinks back into her chair, looking incredibly worn-out. Raising a shaking hand to massage her forehead with the tips of her fingers, she breaths in through her nose and out through her mouth, like people do when they’re trying not to throw up.
“I sense something, but it would help if you shift.” Her voice cracks with fatigue, and I bite down on the corner of my mouth. I’ve never seen Silas’s wolf. I know this isn’t the time or place to be excited, but I can’t help the thrill of anticipation that tingles against my skin. Silas tosses me a worried look until he sees the light in my eye.
“Okay.” He stands and shrugs off the coat he’s still wearing, tossing it onto the couch next to me. His shirt follows, and I know he’s not trying to make it look like a sexy as sin striptease, but the way his muscles flex and ripple as he moves, every inch of him tight and perfectly carved, makes my mouth water. As in, I want to lick every inch of skin on his hard stomach and follow the trail of hair down to the tantalizing flesh that Silas starts to expose as he unzips his pants.
My eyes snap up to Silas’s face, finding a smirk waiting there for me. I roll my eyes at him, but then bite my lip as I try not to totally ogle his junk in front of a stranger. A stranger who is also getting an eyeful of Silas’s beautiful body. I dare a look at Thea, but she doesn’t even seem to notice that Silas is almost naked in front of her. It’s like she’s lost in thought and whatever she’s seeing isn’t the same thing as me.
“Are you ready?” Silas asks in a low voice that I know is meant for me. I’ve been wanting to see his wolf since I found out what he is.
“Yes.” I hum and try not to smile a huge idiot grin.
His shift is seamless, a fluid transformation that looks effortless, as easy as walking across the room. Then he’s a wolf, and I’m struck speechless. He’s huge. I mean, he’s huge as a human, so I shouldn’t be surprised, but I’ve never seen an animal like this up close before. He had to move behind the couch in order to have enough room to shift, so he’s off to the side of where he was sitting only a few moments before. I’m standing before I know it, my legs carrying me toward the beast. He’s snowy white with only a strip of tawny gold that streaks over his back and down his muzzle.
Once I’m in front of him, a little bit of my rational mind comes back to me, and I pause, wondering if he’s in full control. Should I stay back? Is it okay to touch him? The wolf’s head lifts, coming up nearly to my chest, and I see familiar mossy green eyes staring back at me. A contented sound rumbles low in the wolf’s chest when I take a step closer and reach out my hand. Silas’s wolf ducks his head beneath my hand, encouraging me to touch him.
My pulse is hammering wildly in my chest as I sink my fingers into the soft fur of the white wolf. The wolf moves in closer to me, and I want to sink to my knees and wrap my arms around him. I know it’s Silas, but at the same time, this is a different side of him. Still, I feel like I know the wolf too. It’s always beneath the surface with Silas, and it’s like I’m finally meeting an old friend. Like we’ve been talking for years, sending each other letters and getting to know the most intimate parts of one another, but never got the chance to meet in person. Until now.
I lower my head and press my cheek to the top of the wolf’s head and whisper, “Hello, wolf,” and he makes another one of those happy growls.
Something grips at my heart, and all the feelings I’ve been trying to push away for the last year come roaring back to life. It’s like an important piece of the puzzle has clicked into place, and it feels right, but there’s still something looming over us. I pull back and look over at Thea, feeling a little embarrassed by how much joy I feel at seeing Silas’s wolf for the first time. Thea is watching it all as though she’s trying to see through us. Maybe she can. Maybe that’s how her power works. That she can see into the very heart of us and know all our secrets. The thought makes me feel vulnerable and exposed.
I step back from Silas but leave my fist buried in the fur at the back of his neck. He leans his weight into me a little, and I do the same, finding comfort in the contact.
Thea is staring at Silas, her eyes narrowing and then blinking rapidly. She almost looks like she’s falling asleep and is trying her hardest to stay awake, but I know that’s not what’s happening when she reaches out and grabs my hand. The one that’s holding onto Silas. Her hand presses down so that she’s touching us both, and I gasp when a trickle of blood spills out of her nose as her eyes roll shut.
There’s a hum around us, something like static electricity, that makes all the hair on my arms stand up. The fur on the back of Silas’s neck is up, and his mouth pulls back in a warning growl, flashing his teeth at Thea. I lay my other hand on his head, and he goes quiet. I don’t know what Thea is doing, but I don’t want to screw it up by breaking her concentration. What if she’s not able to figure out what’s going on because we interrupt her?
A second stream of blood joins the first and runs over her lip and drops onto the white of Silas’s fur. I stare at it, feeling like it’s an omen of some kind. I want to clean it up, to wipe it away and take away whatever bad feelings are growing in my stomach with it. But I stay still, biting hard on the inside of my cheek until the metallic taste of blood hits my tongue.
Silas growls a low warning again, and Thea’s eyes finally open up, and she releases her hold on us. Stumbling back into her chair, she falls into it, looking completely wiped out. I give the back of Silas’s neck one last squeeze before I let go. Looking around the room and finding a
box of tissues on a bookshelf near the fireplace, I grab the whole thing. Rushing over to Thea’s side, I hand it to her, noting how she avoids touching me as she takes the box.
“Are you okay?” I ask, seeing Silas changing back into human out of the corner of my eye.
“Yeah,” she croaks and then clears her throat. “Depending on what I’m doing, it can take a lot out of me.”
“Do you need some water? Anything?” Silas asks as he pulls his shirt back on, a concerned look on his face.
“No. I’ll be fine. But you…” Her eyes track back and forth between us as I move back to the couch. “The curse is there. It’s blanketing your mind, your memory. It must have been created by a very strong witch because I’ve not encountered anything so tightly woven before. There are no cracks that I found in the curse. If it was a lesser witch who spun the spell, I could possibly pull at the threads enough to unravel it, and it would fall away with time.” She pauses, seeming short of breath as her hand comes up to rub her temple. Her eyes are closed, and I’m afraid she’s going to fall asleep, leaving us with only that depressing news to take home with us.
“Is there nothing we can do, Thea?” I ask, sensing Silas shutting down beside me.
Her dark eyes open up and focus on me. “Being with his mate can break it.”
When her words sink in, everything goes a little fuzzy. The room tunnels around me, and my eyes go out of focus. If his mate can break the curse, then I can’t be his mate. Because we’ve already had sex, and he forgot about me.
“Oh,” I whisper and look away from Thea when her head tilts and she studies me. My heart is shattering inside my chest, and I’m trying to keep my composure, but it suddenly feels like there’s not enough air in the room. The air is close and heavy like the fire has raged out of control and the heat is so oppressive I’m having trouble breathing. My chin starts to tremble, and I want nothing more than to get away from the stifling room.
