by Vivi Holt
Finally done with her shopping list, she hurried back out to the parking lot to find the truck. She settled her purchases on the floor of the cab behind the driver’s seat, cranked the engine then pulled up Tamera’s home address on her phone before creeping out of the lot.
She was grateful her birth mother lived close to the mall; it’d give her plenty of time to get back to meet Chris. Still, her entire body shook with nerves as she navigated the icy roads and unfamiliar neighborhoods.
Evergreens lined the streets, and quaint old homes stood guard on either side. Some squatted low, their walls hung with crawling vines, and others stood tall, regally watching over the town. The closer she got to Tamera’s house, the nicer the neighborhood became.
Kate’s thoughts whirled, and her head grew lighter with each deep breath she inhaled. Her heart raced, and everything within her fought the desire to ask the one thing she’d always wanted to know her entire life the moment she saw Tamera: what had caused her to give up her daughter so many years earlier?
As a conversation starter, the question lacked finesse. Perhaps it was something she could work up to once they’d gotten to know each other better.
If they had the chance to know each other better.
The house rose up suddenly on the right. Number eighty-eight. It was at least two stories, possibly with a sunken basement. Painted a light yellow with white trim, the house screamed tasteful elegance.
Her lips pursed, and she shut off the truck’s engine. Then she sat in silence on the same side of the street, staring at the structure. She’d just spend a few minutes gathering her thoughts, then she’d go right up to the door and knock.
She shivered and focused on her breathing.
The front door swung open, and two girls in their teens tumbled through it. One slapped at the other; the second girl laughed and chased after the first. The door slammed shut behind them, and their shouts of laughter echoed throughout the quiet neighborhood.
Kate’s eyes widened. Who were they? Perhaps they were related to her in some way. She’d never considered that she might have half-siblings or cousins. She’d only ever thought about finding her birth parents. Of course, she should’ve realized there’d probably be an extended family as well.
The girls laughed and continued to chase each other around the yard, then one gripped the other in a headlock until she squealed. Kate’s hand tightened on the door handle, but she held herself back, her entire body taut. Was the girl okay? She’d never had siblings herself; she had no idea what was normal behavior between two sisters.
They pulled apart, and their laughter echoed out to her relief. They spoke loudly to each other, but she couldn’t decipher the words. Then the door opened again, and a slight woman with blonde hair hanging straight beneath a light blue knit cap wandered onto the front porch. She crossed her arms over her chest, her jacket puffing out around her thin frame.
Kate tensed again, her eyes focused on the woman. Was she Tamera? Her hair was the same white-blonde color as Kate’s. She had the same lithe build. It might be her. Kate’s eyes smarted with tears. She’d never had family who looked like her before. No one to share a temperament with or her extra-long second toe.
She clenched her hands around the steering wheel until her knuckles whitened then shivered in the cooling cab.
The woman said something to the girls then laughed. Her laughter rang out loud and low across the street to where she’d parked, and Kate’s throat tightened.
The woman stepped slowly down the stairs and reached for one of the girls, wrapping her arms around the girl and pulling her close in an embrace. Kate’s eyes filled with tears, and she swallowed around the lump forming in her throat.
A car passed by and pulled into the drive. The white car had a large gold star painted on the door and red and blue lights perched on top. The word “Sheriff” was printed across the side of the vehicle.
The sheriff parked in front of two white garage doors at the end of the short driveway. He climbed out of the car, shut the door behind him, and strode toward the woman and two girls.
Kate inhaled sharply and watched with wide eyes. What was going on? When the sheriff embraced each of the women then kissed the woman on the mouth, her own fell open in surprise. Perhaps that was the woman’s husband, and the girls were their daughters?
The man had black hair and dark skin; the girls were a mixture of the two—golden skin, long black hair, and lithe physiques. They were a family. She sobbed into one clenched fist then cranked the truck again. Hot air blasted her from the air vents, and she pushed the truck into drive.
The sheriff and the woman both looked up at her, eyes seeming to burrow through the windshield directly into her soul. They’d seen her, but it didn’t matter. There was no way for them to know who she was, and in that moment, she didn’t want to interrupt. They were a family. She wasn’t a part of that. Couldn’t ever be part of it.
If she went over there now and introduced herself, she’d blow apart everything they had. Who knew if Tamera had even told the rest of her family about the daughter she’d given up. No, she couldn’t do that to them. They were happy, and she couldn’t risk destroying that happiness.
The sheriff looked away, his focus on the girls as they all made their way up the stairs and into the house. But the woman stopped in place and watched as Kate turned the truck around and gunned it back down the street in the direction she’d come from. She glanced in her rearview mirror and saw the woman still standing there, hands clenched into fists at her sides, gaze fixed on the retreating truck.
The street curved, and she lost sight of the woman as the truck turned. Then Kate let the tears fall.
Chapter 10
December 24th
Chris trotted down the stairs and into the kitchen. He was happy with the gifts he’d purchased for the family and glad he’d gone to town after all. He’d been a bit more extravagant than he normally would be, and he wasn’t sure how the family would react, but he wanted to do something nice for them. What was the point of all his success if he couldn’t share some of it with the people he loved?
The kitchen smelled amazing, and as he walked toward it, his mouth began to water.
“What is going on in here?” he asked. “It smells fantastic.”
Kate shot him a smile. Maybe even a flirtatious smile—or was he reading too much into it?
“It’s a surprise. Your mother is teaching me how to cook.”
He arched an eyebrow. “Really?”
She laughed. “Yep. I’ve always wanted to learn, but my mom wasn’t really the domestic type. She kept a clean house but didn’t cook much. We ate a lot of takeout and things from cans and packets.”
He chuckled. “Well, you won’t find much of that in this house. Right, Mom?”
Diana shook her head with a frown. “No, you won’t. We make everything from scratch in this kitchen. Don’t you worry, Kate, we’ll have you cooking up a storm in no time.”
“I don’t know why, but there’s something about cooking that’s almost artistic—at least that’s how I see it.” Kate pushed her hands into a bowl and kneaded or mixed, he couldn’t say which. He’d done his fair share of cooking and baking over the years, but he’d never considered it art.
“You’re right about that, hon. It is an art form. I get a lot of satisfaction out of making a nice pie or roasting a piece of beef just right and making the gravy thick enough but not too thick.” Diana grinned, setting a timer on the oven.
“I might leave you to it then,” suggested Chris.
“Do you want to help?” Kate’s nose had a smudge of flour on the tip that tempted him to kiss it away.
He crossed his arms over his chest. He couldn’t think of her like that. He barely knew anything about her, not to mention the fact that she’d been completely dishonest with him, even if he’d played a role in forcing her into it. Still, he couldn’t deny the fact that he was attracted to her. He could fight it, but he couldn’t pretend he didn’t feel it.<
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He inhaled sharply. “Uh…sure. I’d love to help. What are we making?”
“Your favorite—roast chicken with gravy and apple pie with custard for dessert.” Diana’s eyes sparkled.
“We’re going to make some gingerbread and sugar cookies for the kids as well,” added Kate.
His stomach clenched with hunger. “Yum. I can’t wait. Can I lick the bowl when we’re done?”
“Are you busy?” asked Dad, his hands on his hips.
Chris patted his hands dry. He’d just finished helping with dinner and had considered reading a book in the den by the fire.
“No, I’m not.”
“Great, you can help me fix the barn. We’ve sprung a few leaks that need fixing.”
He frowned. “Okay. I’m happy to help. I might go and change first.”
Dad sighed out a breath of air. “Sure, I’ll wait.”
“Is something wrong, Dad?”
Dad’s lips pursed. “Course not.”
“Seems like there is.”
“If you don’t want to help, don’t help. I’m not forcin’ you to do it.”
Chris’s eyes narrowed. “I want to help. I just said that. Why are you acting this way?”
“I guess I just don’t understand you sometimes, and you’re my own son, my flesh and blood.”
“What don’t you understand?”
“Why would you leave this place—leave us? You’re all the way over in Atlanta on your own, runnin’ some kind of business we know nothing about. You’re obviously unhappy. You should just come home and help Todd run the ranch.”
Chris shook his head and drew in a deep breath. “I can’t do that, Dad.”
“Why not?”
“For one, Todd is doing a great job of running this place. He doesn’t need me getting in the way and telling him what to do and trying to take over. And you know I would. That’s just how I operate. I can’t help myself.”
“He wouldn’t mind…”
“Yes, he would. And he should too—he’s been here through the hard times and the good; he’s seen the ranch through it all. It wouldn’t be fair for me to step in. And secondly, it’s not me—that life doesn’t suit me. Not anymore.”
“It could. If you’d give it a chance…”
“My home and my life are in Atlanta.”
“What kind of life is it?” Dad shouted, his arms flying out from his sides as if in defeat. “We can all see how lonely you are without Mia.”
Chris felt as though he were a tire that’d had a hole poked in it. The air rushed from his lungs. “I’m okay.”
“You’re not okay. And even if you were, there’s a heck of a lot more to life than just okay. You should be happy, son. We hate to see you this way.”
“I have Kate…” replied Chris.
Dad arched an eyebrow. “Kate seems like a wonderful woman. You’d be lucky to have her in your life. But since it’s just the two of us here, let’s tell it like it is. You and her look as though you’ve only just met each other outside the local Piggly Wiggly. You might be able to fool your momma, who wants so badly for you to find someone that she’ll believe anything you tell her. But you can’t fool me.”
Chris’s eyes widened, and his mouth fell open. “I…uh…”
Dad raised both hands as if in defeat. “Don’t fret, I’m not gonna say anything. I don’t want to hurt your momma any more than you do. But you’ve got to be honest, son, at least with yourself if with no one else.”
Chris swallowed hard, and his gaze dropped to the floor. Slowly he climbed the stairs to his room and changed into jeans and an old t-shirt from the closet. He’d left almost an entire wardrobe of clothes behind at the ranch house when he’d first moved to Atlanta all those years ago. Clothes he wouldn’t need in the city. Jeans, checked shirts, flannel, cowboy boots, belts with buckles the size of his fist, and Stetsons of various ages and shades of color. The jeans fit a bit snugly, but they’d do the job well enough. By the time he got back downstairs, Dad had already left for the barn. He followed him outside, zipping his jacket up as he went.
Was Dad right? Did his sadness show? He’d thought he’d hidden it so well from everyone in his life. Perhaps he’d gotten it all wrong.
Kate wiped her hands on the apron tied neatly about her waist. A picture of a rosy-nosed Rudolph smiled up at her from the cheerful fabric.
“You did a great job on this pastry. It looks perfect.” Diana pulled the apple pie from the oven with a pair of oven mitts. “Mmm… Smells good.”
Kate couldn’t help feeling proud. Her first attempt at a pastry, and it looked almost store-bought.
“Thanks for showing me how to do it.”
“You’re most welcome.” Diana beamed. “I’m glad to have another woman around here.”
Kate wiped down a countertop, taking her time to clean up the spilled flour and drips of butter. She felt bad about lying to Diana. Chris’s mom had done nothing but accept her, love her, and include her in their family celebrations since she arrived. She desperately wanted to tell her the truth, but it wasn’t her truth to tell.
“Is everything okay between you and Chris?” asked Diana suddenly.
Kate’s eyes widened. “Um…sure. Why do you ask?”
“I can tell something’s on your mind. You know, you can talk to me about it if you want to, honey.”
Diana sat on a barstool at the counter and patted the stool beside her. Kate took a seat as well, drawing a deep breath.
“I guess there is something you could help me with. I’ve noticed that Chris is a bit…melancholy. I was wondering if that’s…”
“Because of Mia?” Diana asked.
“Uh, yes.”
Diana smiled. “He used to be such a happy, outgoing boy. Always the charmer. His teachers complained he was the life of the class. Oh, don’t get me wrong, he was a good student, when he settled down and stopped playing the class clown.”
“Has he been this way ever since she died?”
“He’s better now than he was. He was very angry for a long time.”
“Do you mind my asking what happened?” Kate said.
Diana pursed her lips and shook her head. “Of course not. It was here at the ranch. This time of year is always hard for him because it happened right before Christmas. It hadn’t snowed in a while, so the ground was pretty good and the sky was clear when she decided she’d like to go horseback riding.”
“Did she do that often?”
“No, she was a city girl. Just like you. Oh, she’d ridden a few times.” Diana sighed. “But Chris didn’t want her to do it. Said she might get hurt. She just looked at him with those big ol’ brown eyes of hers, and he didn’t have the heart to fight her.”
Kate’s throat ached, and she pressed her lips into a tight thin line.
“It went fine at first, but they headed on down by the road. She was on a steady horse. His name was Beau, and he did great unless there was a real loud noise. When an old car drove by and backfired, he took off. She held on as best she could, but he carried her a long ways—maybe a quarter mile or more—with Chris close behind.”
Kate swallowed hard. She knew the outcome of the story, but hearing it made her break out in a cold sweat and her stomach roil all the same.
Diana shook her head sadly. “When she came off, it shouldn’t have been a big deal except for the fact that she hit the ground at a weird angle and broke her neck.”
Kate gasped and covered her mouth with her hand, her heart plummeting.
“Poor Chris, he didn’t know what to do at first. He tried to resuscitate her. He called nine-one-one, but he didn’t have a signal. In the end, he knew she was gone—he picked her up, climbed back into his own saddle, and rode home with her. There wasn’t anythin’ he or anyone else could’ve done differently. Doc said she died instantly.”
Kate’s throat closed around a lump, and she let her eyes drift shut. “That’s horrible.” She blinked a few times, to clear the tears from her vi
sion, and drew a deep breath. “It’s no wonder he’s had such a hard time with losing her.”
Diana nodded. “He blamed himself. Said he shouldn’t have let her go riding, she wasn’t experienced enough to handle a horse out on the trail. But it wasn’t his fault. It was just an accident.”
“Of course, it was an accident. No one would blame him for what happened.”
“No one but him. He’s blamed himself ever since. It’s almost as though he’s punishing himself. He won’t move on, and until you came along, he wouldn’t even consider the idea of finding someone else to love. That’s why we’re so glad you’re here.”
Diana smiled and patted Kate’s knee.
Kate’s heart thudded. If only Diana knew the truth.
“After they took her body away, he was beside himself. He grabbed a shotgun and went after that horse like a maniac. I don’t know what happened out there, only that when he came back, he was draggin’ an injured leg behind him and had to go off to the hospital for surgery on it. He wouldn’t tell us why or how he was hurt. He won’t talk about that day at all.”
Kate’s brow furrowed. That explained the limp. Well, in a way. How strange that he’d never told his family what’d happened. It must be a constant reminder to him of what he’d lost that day. She shivered and wrapped her arms around her torso. How could anyone go on after something like that?
Chapter 11
Chris took a sip of the scalding hot spiced apple cider then set the mug on the end table beside his armchair. He leaned back and linked his hands behind his head.
Muscles that he hadn’t used in a long time ached after spending the morning with Dad repairing the leaks in the barn roof. Still, he was satisfied by a job well done, and the physical labor left him feeling tired but content.
Will, Cade, and Milly played quietly with the train set he’d erected around the base of the Christmas tree for them the night before. Each took turns starting the engine and following it around the tree then piling acorns and pebbles into the cars as cargo.
