by Lana Mowdy
Shifting uncomfortably, Brooke piped in, “I’m going to leave you alone.” The sound of her voice broke the spell. They turned to her, looking stunned as if they had forgotten she was there.
Zach cleared his voice, “Thank you again, Brooke.” Then he turned to Miranda, “Do you like Indian food?”
She blinked, clearing her head, “I’m not sure that I have ever tried it.”
“Great! I know a great little place where the food is exquisite and the service is wonderful.”
When they pulled into the parking lot, Miranda realized that ‘little’ was quite descriptive. The place was nestled in a corner of a long building, on the outside edge of a shopping center. A tiny neon ‘open’ sign blinked steadily. Inside, the wine-red walls and curtains added to the darkness of the dimly lit restaurant. A lovely, dark-skinned woman led them to an intimate corner booth. The burgundy tapestry seats attached to a paneled wall on one side and were hidden from the main dining area by sheer curtains on the other side.
After studying the menu for a moment, Miranda looked up, “I am out of my league.”
Zach smiled, “We can fix that. Have you tried Chicken Curry?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Well, that is my favorite. Why don’t we try that, and if you don’t like it we can go somewhere else for dessert?”
Miranda smiled at his easy going nature and willingness to please. “Sounds like a great idea.”
After they had ordered, Zach leaned forward, ready to pounce, “So tell me everything about you.”
She smirked at him, “I think not. You already know too much about me, and I know next to nothing about you. I’m going to ask the questions this time.” She deliberated for a moment before looking him straight in the eye, determined to get some answers. “Why are you still single? Have you ever been married?”
Zach jumped back, shocked by her directness. He rubbed his face for a moment, catching his breath. “I wasn’t expecting to answer those questions yet. You don’t believe in subtleties do you?”
Miranda smiled and shook her head, refusing to let him off the hook.
“Ok. We might as well get this out of the way.” He paused for a moment, mentally rehearsing the lines. “I was married once for about six months. Linda and I attended the medical program at University of Oklahoma. We dated a few times then became exclusive. We talked about getting married after we both graduated.” He paused for a moment as if the memory pained him. "The summer before we began our internships, she became pregnant. Determined to do the right thing, we married quickly and moved into an apartment. The strain of an internship is indescribable. I never saw her, so I don’t know how hard she was working or if she was taking care of herself. At ten weeks, she had a miscarriage.” He stopped for a drink then continued, “After that, we lived in a daze. We had nothing in common other than work. I really don’t think she liked me that much. I tried to make it work, but with so much pressure, I just couldn’t… Anyway, she got offered a job in New Mexico, and I stayed in Oklahoma City. We haven’t spoken since the day we met in the lawyer’s office and signed the divorce papers.” He stared at her apprehensively.
Miranda reached across the table and touched his hand. “I’m sorry,” her voice assured sincerity as she stroked his hand with reassurance.
The curtains ruffled, interrupting their exchange. After the waitress delivered their food, Miranda shuffled her food nervously. She wondered how much she would have to say in order to satiate his curiosity about her life.
“Do you not like the food?” Zach looked at her with concern.
“No, it’s really good.” She picked at her food for another moment before putting down her fork, crossing her arms, and glaring at him. “So how much do you want to know?”
He set his fork down and gazed at her, “Only as much as you want to tell me.” He reached out his hand, but she refused to take it. “We have as much time as you need. When you feel like talking to me, I will listen. Until then, I am happy to be with you.”
She studied him for a moment, wondering if she could truly trust his words.
“How about this? Let’s forego any more painful revelations for the evening and focus on the light things. For example, I noticed that the nameplate on your office door read ‘Dr. Miranda Row’. That’s quite impressive.”
She blushed for a moment. “I earned a PhD in education, but no one calls me doctor. It always seemed a bit pretentious to me.”
Zach laughed heartily, “Should I take offense?”
She blushed again, knowing she misspoke, “Of course not. You are a real medical physician.” She took a bite of her food and continued, “I’m saying that I am not a physician, and I am not in a university setting. To point out your education level to random people seems excessive. Of course, I know that opinion is not shared by most people.”
“No. It’s not. However, that’s one of the things I like about you. You are not afraid to share your opinion, even if it goes against the norm.”
Miranda smiled again, and began to eat heartily.
"Can I ask another question?"
"Is the Chicken Curry some sort of bribery?" she smiled warily.
Zach laughed. She stared at him for a moment. His laughter was infectious, full and hearty. He raised his eyes, waiting for the answer to his question. She reluctantly agreed.
"How did you get that scar?"
Her eyes widened in alarm.
"Don't get freaked out. I treated you at the hospital, remember?"
She visibly relaxed, "It was an accident. Truthfully, I don't remember everything that happened. For some reason, I was driving, and I tried to stop, but the brakes wouldn't work. The next thing I remember, my friend, Geena, was standing beside me. I had hit a culvert, and my car was destroyed. She was able to pull me out, but had slashed my side somehow. She stayed with me until the EMTs arrived." She stared down at her plate, pushing her food around with her fork. "The police said that the brake lines had been cut." She looked back at Zach, "But I can't imagine it being anything other than an accident."
Chapter 9
As they walked to the car after dinner, Zach asked, “Would you like to see something interesting?”
Miranda smirked and rolled her eyes, “That is the worst line I’ve ever heard!”
They laughed for a moment as Zach opened her door and helped her into the car. When he had settled into the driver’s seat, he turned to her, “Let’s try this again. I’m a bit of a history buff. There is a place a few miles north of here that I think you would enjoy. Would you care to see it?”
“Much better! I think I would.”
As they drove, Zach explained a little about the place. “It’s called Fort Phantom Hill. It was the first fort in this area to protect settlers from Indians. There isn’t much there except the chimneys and a few footings. But if you close your eyes, you can visualize the way it was a hundred years ago.”
Miranda looked around the parking lot and across to the site. “Zach, I’m afraid we have a problem. There is no way I can walk along that trail in these heels.”
Zach hopped out of the car and returned momentarily. “No problem! I packed slippers in case I planned to be here overnight. You can wear these,” he grinned.
“They are not nearly as fashionable, but they will do,” Miranda smiled back.
He walked around and opened her door. Their fingers entwined as they walked to the path that led through the dilapidated buildings. Ghosts from the past whistled in the trees and danced in the moonlight.
Miranda studied Zach’s face as he led her down the path, describing each of the buildings. His expression made it seem as if he had moved to another time. His face glowed with interest and amazement as he explained the daily activities of the settlers. He described the people as if they were dear friends.
Suddenly he stopped and turned to her, “I am afraid I’m boring you.”
“Not at all. I’ve never been interested in history, but you have m
ade it seem so fascinating, as if the people are alive.”
He shrugged, slightly embarrassed by the compliment. He pulled her to sit down on the edge of one of the footings. The sudden change in his demeanor made her oblivious to rough edges of the concrete scratching her legs.
“There is another reason I brought you here.”
Her shoulders slumped, knowing that his earlier sincerity had seemed too good to be true. “I am almost afraid to ask what you expect of me.”
His eyes widened with shock and disbelief, “I expect nothing of you. I thought I made that clear.” He took a deep breath then stood. “Let me see if I can explain my motives.” He began to pace for a moment. Suddenly he stopped and faced her. “I simply want to share my life with you.”
Miranda looked at him for a moment before dropping her head. She wanted so desperately to believe that he had good intentions, but she had fallen for this routine once before. She was convinced that just like before, he would pretend to be nice. He would pretend to care. As soon as she gave him her heart or body, he would change to become a possessive, mean-spirited, controlling fiend. She lifted her head to give him a steely stare.
He took a step back as if her gaze caused physical pain. “Quite frankly, at first I understood your hesitancy to spend time together. I understand that you have been hurt, and the need for self-protection can be consuming. However, your reluctance to even speak to me is becoming offensive.” He stopped for a moment and studied her face.
The hurt in his eyes cut her to the bone. The corners of her mouth turned slightly as she contemplated his words. “I’m scared.”
He ran to her side and knelt beside her. “So am I. But each time I look at you, I know that just the possibility of a moment with you is worth any pain you might cause me.” Zach gripped her hand as if it were his lifeline. “I know that we have only known each other a few days, but I feel as if I know you. Your inside beauty radiates through your eyes.” He reached his hand up and laid his fingers on her chest, “I can feel your heartbeat under my fingertips, and I long for your heart to beat with mine.” He searched her face, “If I need to wait, I will. I will wait as long as it takes for you to trust me.”
Tears streamed down her face. She stood and lifted him from his knees. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his face towards hers.
He held back for a moment then enfolded her in his arms, returning her passion with his own.
Chapter 10
“So?”
“So, what?” Miranda tossed her purse on the couch and sauntered dreamily into the living room.
“How did it go? You were out awfully late for just dinner,” Brooke wiggled her eyebrows with joking insinuation.
“He had more than just dinner planned,” She returned the unspoken gesture. To prolong the suspense, she sat on the ottoman and began to very slowly remove each strappy heel. She stretched her legs and rubbed her aching feet.
When she decided that Brooke had been tormented enough, she relented, “Just kidding. He took me to Fort Phantom Hill, and we strolled with the ghosts protecting the area from invading tribes.” She beamed at the memory of their intimate moment, wondering briefly what would have happened if she encouraged him to continue.
“Miranda, come back,” Miranda was startled as Brooke snapped her fingers to get her attention. “While you were in dreamland, I asked when you are going to see him again.”
“We are taking Elizabeth to the zoo tomorrow,” she grinned with excitement.
Brooke furrowed her brows, “Are you sure that’s the best idea?”
“Of course! Elizabeth will love the zoo.”
Brooke swallowed the words stuck in her throat. “That’s not what I mean. I am sure he’s a nice guy, but how long is this going to last. I mean, if it’s real, I am all for it, but if it’s not…”
Miranda paled, “What are you trying to say, Brooke?”
“I’m just saying that if he is just a fling, you do not want him near your daughter. She will get attached to him, and if he is the kind of man I think he is, he will get attached to her. Are you sure that you are ready for that?”
Miranda cringed at her own stupidity. How long did she expect this to last? She decided to trust him with a kiss, but could she trust him with her life and heart? More importantly, could she trust him with her daughter’s heart?
She suddenly groaned with frustration and disappointment. She couldn’t do this. There was no way that he would be a fling, she could feel herself becoming emotionally vested. As she remembered his light kisses running along her jaw, and the beautiful words whispered in her ear, she could feel her body flush with excitement. She had started to believe the words of devotion. She had briefly allowed herself to believe in a future infused with love and happiness. To allow her daughter to become attached, as well, would be selfish. She had to end it now, once and for all.
The next morning, Miranda met Zach on the front porch, closing the front door firmly behind her. She walked around his outstretched arms, avoiding his embrace. She refused to look in his eyes. Self-preservation ruled at the moment, and she knew that one look in his eyes might destroy the walls around her heart she had spent most of the night trying to build.
“Miranda?” Zach lowered his arms slowly.
She could see the questions in his eyes. She had to get this over quickly before her heart melted and she gave in to the questions burning in her own mind.
She spun away from him, gazing across the street at nothing in particular. “We can’t see each other anymore. I had a wonderful time last night, but it can’t happen again.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You don’t have to understand. Just know that it’s over.”
Zach reached out and grasped her shoulders, turning her to him, “What happened between last night and this morning that would make you change your mind so quickly?”
She stepped back, trying to escape his grasp, “It doesn’t matter.”
“It matters to me!” Panic gripped his face. “I thought I started to see a crack in that thick wall of yours. I felt it in my heart, and I saw it in your eyes.”
“That was a mistake.”
He squeezed his hands into fists, “It was no mistake. Tell me what happened! Did I do something wrong? Did I say something?”
She dropped her head, refusing to acknowledge the anguish in his voice, “No. It’s not anything you did.”
He unclenched his hands and stepped forward, reaching out to run his fingers through the silky strands at her neck. “Then tell me.”
“Fine. I can’t risk it, okay. Yes, your words are pretty, and I would give anything to believe them. To know that you care for me and want me is bliss, but it can't happen. I am not alone. My daughter comes first.”
Zach’s face visibly relaxed, “When I say that I want you, I mean that I want all of you. Elizabeth is part of you.” He leaned in, closing the inches between them.
“It’s not just that…” she backed up slowly.
He raised his hands beside his shoulders in retreat. “Tell me.”
“There’s nothing to tell. I won’t trust you with my heart. You will turn mean just like all the rest of them. You will get tired of me, and Mr. Nice Guy will be over.”
Zach’s eyes blinked rapidly in confusion, “Sweetheart, you are not making sense. I don’t understand what you are trying to tell me.”
“It’s all very simple. My body is scarred and ugly. I’ll never let you see it. You will get tired of waiting. You’ll call me names, push me around, and get your kicks somewhere else. Been there. Done that. Never again.”
“Baby, I’m so sorry that has happened to you, but I’m not them.”
“Don’t make this harder than it is. It’s over.” She turned from him, crossed to the front door. “Please don’t call me, come by, or send flowers. I don’t think my heart can take it.” She entered the house and shut the door forcefully.
She slid down the door, crouched o
n the ground and hid her face in her hands as she sobbed violently. Soon, Brooke’s arms were around Miranda’s small frame, holding her tightly, soothing her hair, and reminding her to breathe.
Brooke put Miranda to bed and insisted that she rest for a few hours. Exhaustion swept over her, and she fell asleep within minutes. She woke long enough to eat dinner then straightaway returned to a deep sleep that lasted until morning.
Sunday morning, beams of sunlight pricked her eyelids, forcing her to open them and greet the day. She immediately forced thoughts of the last few days to the back of her mind. She had to get home today, and she certainly didn’t have the time or energy to think of Zach. Instead, she stumbled into the kitchen, poured her first cup of coffee for the day then joined Brooke on the back porch.
“It’s all or nothing with you. Isn’t it?” Brooke snuck a sideways glance at Miranda as she took a seat.
“What do you mean?” she asked halfheartedly. She wasn’t sure she wanted yet another opinion from her sister.
“Why in the world did you dump the one man who has treated you like a queen?”
Miranda’s eyes widened in shock, “You told me to!”
“I most certainly did not! I told you not to let Elizabeth get attached until after you know that it’s going to last. That’s what I said!” Brooke huffed with exasperation.
“Well, I’m saving us the trouble. I already know it’s not going to last. Why wait?”
“Whatever. I’m not going to fight with you before you leave, but you are exasperating and stubborn. If he is as stubborn as you are, you are not getting rid of him anytime soon.”
Miranda rolled her eyes. She took a deep drink of her hot, black coffee.
Chapter 11
Miranda and Brooke finished their coffee in silence. Refusing to think about Brooke's words or Zach, Miranda mentally prepared to leave for home.
Within an hour, she had showered and packed. As she loaded the car, Brooke followed with Elizabeth in her arms. Elizabeth giggled as Brooke smothered her face in kisses, fluttered her eyelashes with butterfly kisses, and rubbed noses with Eskimo kisses. She reached in and strapped the baby in her car seat then walked around the car.
