by T. G. Ayer
Bending over at the waist she wrapped a hand around her torso and took a few deep breaths. Please don't throw up, she begged herself. She wasn't in the mood to clean up any messes. Not after this trip. She very much preferred jet-lag to the feeling of being twisted in ten different directions, coupled with the sense that she wasn't all together yet, as if she'd left a part of herself back in Kas's body. Wherever he was right now.
As her breathing slowed and the tumult in her stomach settled, Maya's mind reeled, still caught up in processing everything she'd just experienced. Surreal didn't even begin to describe it.
How is it possible that she could have been inside of Kas? Was it something that Kali had done to her?
Maya blinked again and straightened her body. She was in exactly the same spot as she'd been before she'd found herself in Kas's body. And so was Kali.
She found the goddess sitting on the floor, eyes closed in a perfect meditation pose. Her wrists lay relaxed on her knees and she seemed to exude peace. Something Maya craved now more than she'd ever done.
Her mind simmered with everything. Bana, Kas, the tiger.
Oh, that poor tiger.
Kali opened her eyes slowly, as if emerging from a dream, and gave Maya a soft and encouraging smile. The corners of Maya's mouth twitched in response, but the smile she gave in return was lacking numerous levels of happiness. She couldn't help being annoyed for having been left out of the loop. The least the goddess could have done was tell Maya what was going to happen. And why.
A little bit of advance warning would've helped Maya deal with the transition into the demon king's body. Not to mention that it would have helped her sanity too. Being stuck inside Kas's body was about as far from fun as Maya could have imagined.
Maya stepped closer to the goddess and dropped to the floor in front of her, but instead of mimicking Kali's pose she remained on her knees, her posture stiff. Now was not the time to get comfortable.
She cleared her throat and then asked, "Why did you send me there?" She succeeded in keeping her annoyance out of her voice. No sense in offending the goddess.
"So you can see."
Cryptic.
Maya wasn't about to let go of her line of questioning. If Kali wanted to play evasion then Maya would show her determination. "Was it because of Kas? Er . . . Narakasura?" asked Maya, her forehead creasing with a frown.
Kali tilted her dark head to one side, her hair falling over her shoulder in rich waves, to pool in her lap, a glossy black waterfall. She studied Maya, her dark eyes watchful.
"Narakasura has played a significant role in the tasks you were asked to perform over the last few weeks. Is this why you feel familiar enough with him to call him Kas?"
Maya shrugged, a little unsettled by the goddess's scrutiny. "He told me to call him Kas. Apparently, that's the name he's been using in this . . . life."
Kas had managed to find a way to come back, reincarnated into this life despite history claiming he'd been killed forever by his own mother.
Kali nodded. "I understand. But you have a sense of sympathy for him. Why do you feel that way?" Kali looked like she genuinely wanted to know why.
And Maya knew exactly what the goddess was asking her. Why hadn't she killed Kas when she'd had the opportunity? She could have obliterated him when she'd gone to Swargaloka to rescue Varuni. And she hadn't.
She sighed. "He seemed . . . good. I don't know how to explain it. I knew he'd held Varuni prisoner, and I knew what he was capable of because I'd seen him kill Priya right in front of my eyes, but there was still a part of him left that seemed . . . that made me see him as human, I guess. Something about his eyes." Maya laughed. Her explanation must have come off as ridiculous. A poor excuse for her failure. She shook her head. "I know it probably sounds stupid, but I can't explain it any other way."
Soft laughter rose from Kali's throat, but she wasn't laughing at Maya. The sound conveyed a warm kindness and an understanding that comforted Maya and made her feel less stupid.
"I know what you mean very well, my child. You used to have the very same ability the last time you walked this earth." As Kali mentioned Maya's previous incarnation she stiffened, rejecting the notion that the goddess would prefer Mother Radha to Maya herself. She had to pull herself away from her emotional pouting to focus as Kali said, "When I last knew you, you could sense a person's essence so swiftly it was almost magical. Almost the way most gods do."
"Most gods?" Maya frowned, completely side-tracked now by the mention of the gods. "I thought all gods would be able to do that?" asked Maya, feeling a ripple of unease again at the knowledge that the gods could see right through her to her deepest emotions.
"The gods whose powers are not waning have the strongest ability." In all the time that Kali had remained seated she hadn't moved, and yet she appeared as relaxed as when she'd first folded herself into the pose.
Maya on the other hand had begun to fidget, rocking slowly from side to side because her left butt cheek had chosen that moment to fall asleep. She cleared her throat and asked, "So loss of faith means loss of power too?"
A wave of sadness ran through her. She hadn't expected to empathize with the gods but she did. They were no longer as powerful or as influential as they once were. And now she'd begun to humanize them too, making them more real in her mind. So it wasn't surprising that she found herself sympathizing with them. It sucked that they would lose something so important just because people refused to believe in them anymore.
Kali nodded, seemingly oblivious to Maya's internal muddling. "And not only do powers wane. Gods who have truly weakened also begin to fade."
"Fade?" A frown creased Maya's forehead. That did not sound good. "Like disappear? Forever?"
The goddess nodded, her blue-tinged skin gleaming in the garage florescent. Her eyes held an ethereal sadness, a mother unable to save her doomed children. "They melt away into the ether. Just like wind blowing the fog away."
Maya's shoulders fell, the weight of sadness and hopelessness too heavy to bear. "Oh. That is bad," she said with a twist of her lips. "Is there something we can do for them? To help save them?"
"Unfortunately, it takes hundreds of years of decline in faith before it begins to affect the god, and by then it is often too late to attempt a reversal. And for the minor gods, there is very little anyone can do. The worst of it is that those gods whose powers are fading, can sometimes, out of desperation, take advantage of the wrong powers to extend their lives."
"Deal with the devil," Maya mumbled, only realizing she'd spoken aloud when Kali laughed. "I'm sorry." Maya's cheeks reddened.
"No need to apologize, Maya. That is the basic truth of it. A few gods have rebelled and sought the dark powers to ensure they do not die."
"Are they so desperate to live that they would do such a thing?" Maya asked, curious. She knew a lot of people with different opinions on death and its finality, but few would make such deals just to live longer lives.
"Maya, you must understand that the gods have existed for millennia. To a human whose life span is on average seventy years, death is inevitable, something people sometimes welcome. But for a god, life lasts a long time, and there is an expectation that it will be long. So when one is used to extended longevity then when faced with the impending end, it is understandable that they would not take comfort from death.
"So what do fading gods have to do with Kas?" asked Maya trying to make the connection and failing.
"Because gods and demons work in a similar fashion. A long time ago the demons themselves attained their power by worshiping the gods. Their boons were also longevity, riches. Whatever they asked for. But when the gods that confer those boons begin to fade then they have little choice but to seek their survival elsewhere."
"So Kas is fading and is dealing with the dark powers so he can live longer?"
"It's a little more complicated than that but essentially yes." Kali held out her hand, the action indicating that Maya should take it. "Y
our sojourn inside Narakasura's head had its purpose and once you understand it well, you will be able to help him."
"Isn't he holed up safely somewhere down there?" Maya poked her finger into the carpeted floor.
And the goddess ignored her question. "Do you understand what it is you did just now?"
"With Kas?" asked Maya. When Kali nodded, she said, "I possessed him. Or jumped inside his head for a while."
"Good. And while you were inside his mind, what did you feel?"
Maya tipped her head and stared off into nothing as she reflected on her experience of being imprisoned within Kas's mind. In all that time, she'd had no idea it was him. Not until she'd caught sight of his reflection. But she'd been privy to his deepest feeling. "His emotions. I could feel them. Without being able to understand the actual words. It was more a sense of his mood."
"Anything else?"
"His memories. There were a few times when he remembered things from his past. Like when he was a little boy playing with his tiger." Maya stopped abruptly as a rush of ice skittered down her spine.
"What's the matter, child?"
Maya shrugged. "Nothing. It's just this man, Bana, who was with Kas. He made him kill his own pet tiger. I can't understand how someone could be so cruel and all just to teach Kas some stupid lesson."
Kali nodded, her face tightening with an emotion Maya was unable to define. "And what was the lesson he was attempting to impart on our young Kas?" asked Kali with a kind smile. She was trying to teach Maya something, and Maya hoped she wouldn't fail the goddess.
"He was showing him how much he couldn't trust the people around him."
"And what else?"
Maya frowned. Had she missed something in what Bana had explained to Kas? "Oh, and that emotional attachment is a weakness. It makes you vulnerable."
"Well done, Maya." Kali was nodding. "Then your visit was worth it."
"Is that why you didn't want to tell me where I was going?" Kali nodded. "I had the same experience with Priya back in Budapest." Maya offered the information. It all made so much sense now how she'd been able to see Priya in that hut. And she'd 'seen' it even before they'd left on the mission. Maya had assumed it was a premonition. But it had been a vision of the past.
"I know." Kali smiled. "The skill has been growing within you." The goddess certainly didn't mess around with words. There was so much Maya wanted to know.
With a nod Maya leaned forward taking a gamble on telling Kali the one thing that had bothered her since she'd returned. But when she opened her mouth she found herself hesitating. What did it mean anyway?
"What is it Maya?" Kali was beginning to frown.
Clearing her throat, Maya said, "There was something that happened. I got really angry with Bana after what he did and when Kas seemed to be convinced, I kinda lost it."
Kali frowned. "Lost it?"
"I got mad. And I guess I yelled at him." Maya paused and looked away from Kali's penetrating gaze. The experience still unnerved her. Then she cleared her throat. "I think he heard me."
The room grew silent as Maya counted off the seconds before Kali responded. It wasn't that the goddess was angry or upset in anyway. She just looked unnerved.
"Did I do something wrong?" Maya asked, her voice low, afraid to send Kali into a sudden fury.
She needn't have worried. Kali shook her head and smiled. "Of course, you have not. I was merely taken aback for a moment. I hadn't expected this to happen so soon. It appears your intuitive power is much stronger than I had anticipated."
Intuitive power? Fear thrummed within Maya's gut. What else did she not know about her powers?
"What power?" asked Maya softly, her heart thudding wildly against her ribs.
"The power to control time."
Chapter 27
Hijacking bodies was one thing, changing time was a whole other ballgame.
Maya forced her lungs to function.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Repeat.
Why was she so stunned? She could wield fire, so what's so freaking insane about manipulating time?
A whole freaking lot, that's what.
Maya shook her head. This wasn't a joke. This was as real as it got. And she had a goddess waiting patiently for her while she worked through her little freakout.
"Okay," said Maya, forcing her head to move up and down. She had to re-assure Kali that she was really okay with all this crazy.
But the goddess was onto her and merely chuckled. "It is a lot to get your mind around, I know." She held out the palm of her hand and a folded newspaper appeared. "Here. Front page."
Maya took the paper and opened it up to reveal the bold headline.
* * *
Toddler Dies
Parents Under Investigation
* * *
She frowned and looked up at Kali wondering what an abused toddler had to do with time-bending.
"Let us go. You will need to see this before you understand." Kali held out her hand, and Maya took a step closer, still clutching the paper.
The moment she grasped Kali's hand the garage faded and a well-lit hallway appeared. It looked like an apartment building, and a nice one from the cream walls, white skirting borders and the random framed prints on the walls. It looked more like a hotel hallway, but it had a more lived in feel.
A weight pulled on her arms and she looked down. One hand clutched a paper bag filled with groceries, while the other reached into her pocket for a set of keys she knew didn't belong to her.
Okay, another body-jacking.
She slipped the key into the lock and jiggled it a little before it turned. As she pushed open the door, a child's excited yell broke the subdued silence of the apartment. When the baby came bounding toward her, Maya's eyes widened as she recognized the toddler from the paper. The dead child.
Maya found herself bending and placing the bag on the floor, as eager as the child for a cuddle. She opened her arms for the him just as he crashed into her, full of smiles and baby smells.
She held him close and breathed in his baby scent, and a potent rush of love for the child filled her. She stiffened, recalling the headline. This child had died and this mother, who only had pure devotion for him, was now accused of killing him. It didn't seem right at all.
She kissed his cheek a dozen times eliciting a tumult of high-pitched giggles before setting him free and rising to her feet. Maya watched him as he burbled babyspeak and toddled back inside toward the couch.
She stooped to grab the groceries and as she moved to close her door, the neighbor across the hall opened hers. Maya found herself both smiling in pleasant greeting, and stunned with shock at the neighbor's identity.
Maya's teacher, Ms Harris.
The demon.
Chapter 28
AND JUST AS suddenly, Maya was back in her own body, back in her garage, too stunned to speak.
"Now, do you understand?"
Maya nodded, her throat hurting as she swallowed. "The demon killed the baby?"
Kali looked away. "The Rakshasi is one who feeds on innocence."
Maya let out a puff of breath. "That would explain why she's at our school."
Giving her head a slight shake, Kali said, "She is there because of you. She is keeping an eye on you for her Master."
Ice rippled through Maya's veins. "So this baby died because of me?"
"Not technically, but essentially yes."
Talk about not pulling any punches.
Maya stared at the goddess, shocked, feeling dead inside that she could be the reason that baby had been killed, the reason however far removed.
"Don't even think this is your fault."
"It is."
Kali sighed, the sound much like the way air rushes through the sails of a yacht. "If you believe it's your fault, then fix it."
"Can I?"
"That's what manipulating time can entail."
"Tell me how to do it," said Maya, realizing too late that
her words sounded more like an instruction than a request. Belatedly, she tacked on, "Please," but the goddess seemed unfazed by Maya's lapse in respect.
"You must learn to manipulate the behavior of the person in whose body you exist."
"You mean Kas really did hear me?" asked Maya.
"You are stronger than I expected. You are ready to make an attempt."
"So how does it work? Do I tell her not to kill the child? Will that even work?"
"We cannot take that chance. You only get one opportunity to be in any one particular spot. I would much rather you start earlier and try to reroute the timeline instead of aiming to stop the murder alone." Kali paused. "And, Maya. Please remember. There must always be balance."
Maya nodded and waited as Kali outlined her tasks. The longer the goddess spoke the stranger it all sounded, but if it meant saving that little boy she knew she'd try anything.
Air rushed around Maya as she swooped into Ms Harris's body. The teacher was making her way across her living room, picking up plastic drinking glasses and discarded paper towels on her way to the kitchen. She'd just picked up a pointy edged knife that lay beside a dried up piece of cheese when a woman appeared directly in her path.
Ms Harris shrieked, dropping everything on the floor and got possessed for her troubles.
Maya sighed as she surged back into her own body and opened her eyes. This was getting easier each time.
"I couldn't save her."
"This time was not meant to be used to save her."
"What was it supposed to be?"
"I believe you call it 'recon'."
Maya grinned. "Now what?"
"What did you see?"
"A messy living room, Ms Harris cleaning and intending to go to the kitchen. A demon appearing and taking over her body."
"More detail, Maya."
Why was Kali beginning to sound like Maya's mom, tone of exaggerated patience included?
