by Kate Pearce
“Do you remember the way home?”
She fished out her keys to open the door, but didn’t turn around. “I’m good, thanks.”
“Hey.” He reached her side and put a tentative hand on her shoulder. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” She offered him a brief, dismissive smile. “Silver’s really nice, and their home is lovely.”
“I like it a lot myself.” He hesitated, aware of the tension in her frame. “Are you sure that everything’s okay?”
“Why wouldn’t it be?” She opened the door, which meant he had to step aside, as she got into the truck. “Thanks for asking me for dinner.”
“I didn’t.” Kaiden gave her the truth before he thought it through. “Ben just told me he’d invited you on my behalf. Is that why you’re mad? Did Ben or Silver say anything about me?”
She wouldn’t meet his eyes, and he slowly exhaled.
“They stuck their big noses in, didn’t they?” He briefly tilted his head back and looked up at the heavens. “I didn’t ask them to do that, I swear. I’ll go right back in there and maybe kick some famous movie star ass if they upset you.”
“Please don’t do that,” Julia finally spoke. “It was nothing, really, and definitely not what you think. Silver was just trying to be nice, and I . . . well, I wasn’t ready to confide in her, that’s all.”
“Confide what?” Kaiden asked cautiously.
“Nothing—that’s the point.”
Kaiden was fairly certain he was being deliberately led away from the point. “What did she say?”
“Nothing.” She finally turned to look at him. “I told her we were on the same page, and that was that.”
“On the same page about what?”
She fussed around with the keys. “Just being friends.”
Even as he instinctively wanted to protest that point, he still managed to nod and take the necessary step back.
“Cool, then I’ll wish you good night.”
“Okay. Good night, Kaiden.”
He waited until she’d pulled away in the truck, the red lights flaring in the darkness before he turned to face the house again. Should he go back and ask what the hell had happened? Would it do him any good? Knowing his just married and horny brother, he might get an eyeful if he walked back in there, and, in his present celibate state, he really didn’t need to be any more jealous of his brother.
He got into his truck and drove home in the darkness almost by instinct. He parked and went in through the mudroom where he took off his boots and coat. There was a light on in the kitchen but most of the house was dark. He contemplated making some coffee, but he was already too hyped up to sleep. As he walked down the hallway, he sighed. The thing between him and Julia couldn’t go on like this so he knew he was doing the right thing, but man it was hard....
“That you, Kaiden?”
He looked up and saw his dad’s door was ajar and went toward the light.
“You still up?” he asked as he entered the dimly lit bedroom.
“No, I’m talking to you in my sleep.” His dad frowned at him. “How am I supposed to sleep when I’ve done nothing but sit around all day?”
“You’re allowed to walk around the house, now, and annoy everyone,” Kaiden pointed out. “You seem to enjoy that.”
“It’s not enough and you know it.” Jeff huffed. “I hate being cooped up.”
“I get it.” Kaiden tried to remember the advice Julia had given him. “It must be difficult for you when you’re used to being so active.”
“Got it in one.” Jeff sniffed. “Dr. Tio says I can walk outside tomorrow as long as someone comes with me—like I’m a child.”
“I’ll walk with you. That new foal looks like it’ll be coming early.”
“That fool of a doctor won’t let me help with the birth. I can tell you that now.”
“Dr. Tio is not a fool, Dad. I’m sure you can still be there, and tell us we’re doing it wrong, and how to fix it. You’ll like that.”
“Maybe.” Jeff took something off his nightstand and handed it to Kaiden. “Leanne gave me this. She said I can watch movies, read books, and e-mail people on it.”
Kaiden opened the tablet. “Yeah, they are great devices. Did she set it up for you?” He flicked through the settings and icons on the screens.
“Apparently.”
“Did she give you any headphones?”
“Yes, you know your mother. She’s always prepared.” Jeff hesitated. “Which is why I don’t want to ask her how to make all this stuff work.”
Kaiden fought a smile. “I can do that. Here, take a look, it’s really easy.”
Fifteen minutes later, his dad was compiling a wish list of movies and had worked out how to plug in his headphones, which gave Kaiden a weird sense of pride.
“Should I do that twittering thing?” Jeff asked.
“God, no. You’d be banned in a heartbeat,” Kaiden said. “You might want to avoid Facebook for a while, too.”
“Okay.” Jeff looked up from the tablet. “What’s going on with you, then?”
Startled by this unexpected parental interest, Kaiden blinked.
“Nothing much. Ben and Silver liked the memory cabinet I made them.”
“Good. How are things with Julia Garcia?”
Kaiden’s smile died. “Nothing is going on with Julia. Why would you think otherwise?”
“Because I lie here all day with the door open, and listen to everyone gossiping, and your name comes up a lot.” Jeff set his tablet aside. “Do you still like her?”
“Do we have to do this now?” Kaiden complained. “I’m not a kid, Dad.”
“Then don’t take that whiny tone with me.”
“Julia is an amazing woman who is going back to San Francisco next week,” Kaiden said evenly. “That’s all you need to know.”
“So, she’s not interested in you.” Jeff nodded. “That’s what I told your mother.”
“You’ve been gossiping about me? Really, Dad?” Kaiden let out a breath. “For the record, she likes me a lot, but we’re both being responsible adults who understand that sometimes things just aren’t meant to be.”
His father snorted. “You sound like Ben when he messed everything up with Silver. I thought I’d taught you all to fight for what you wanted.”
“You can’t force someone to love you, Dad.”
“You’re telling me that? Look what a mess I made of things with your mother.” Jeff pointed at his chest. “I let my anger and stubbornness take over, and lost the best thing I ever had.”
“But both you and Ben eventually worked things out, didn’t you?” Kaiden reminded him, aware that his father didn’t need to get too excited about anything right now, and it was usually his job to be the peacemaker. It was probably way past time for him to leave.
“So why can’t you?” Jeff asked. “Do you think you’re too special to even make the effort?”
Kaiden stood and looked down at his father. “I don’t think that at all. I’m not even sure how I feel about Julia, so maybe I shouldn’t jump in and make things worse?”
“Is that how it’s always going to be with you then, Son?” His father looked him square in the eye. “Losing someone you might come to love because you’re too damned scared to reach out to them?”
“After what you did to this family, you are the last person in the world to give me advice on my love life, Dad.” Kaiden just managed to keep his voice even as he walked toward the door. “How about you just stop talking crap and go to sleep?”
“But I worked it out! I learned from my mistakes! I’m the perfect person to give you advice.”
“Bullshit.” Kaiden swung around. “Mom came to find you. You did nothing but keep her away from us and blame her for it.” Kaiden knew at some level that he was the one who should be shutting up, but somehow his mouth just kept moving. “If she hadn’t contacted Rae you’d still be sitting here making everyone’s lives as miserable as your own!”
<
br /> “Kaiden.”
He started when his mother spoke from behind him and touched his shoulder.
“Honey, this isn’t helpful, okay?” She ran her fingers down his arm and gripped his elbow hard. “How about you come into the kitchen, and I’ll make you some hot chocolate?”
“Sure.” Kaiden cast one last look at his father’s furious face. He couldn’t find it in himself to apologize so he said nothing and walked away.
By the time his mom came into the kitchen, he’d taken a seat at the table and had his head in his hands. She set a pan of milk to boil on the range and walked over to sit opposite him.
“I’m sorry.” Kaiden stared down at the table. “I don’t know what came over me.”
“It’s okay, Kaiden.” She patted the top of his head like he was five again. “You had cause.”
“But I’m not like that. I don’t get mad, I—”
“Then maybe you should.”
He finally looked up at her. “And give my old man another heart attack?”
She smiled. “He’s way too tough for that little skirmish to upset him. And, maybe this will teach him to keep his nose out of your business.” She glanced back at the stove. “Hold on while I check the milk. I don’t want it boiling over.”
He stayed where he was because the spat with his father had somehow exhausted him. He listened to his mother stirring in the chocolate powder, the spoon clinking against the side of the mugs. She brought the cocoa over to the table and placed one in front of him.
“Here you go, sweetheart.”
“Thanks.” Kaiden took a dutiful sip and found she’d made it just how he liked it. “It’s great.”
She let him drink in silence as the house creaked and settled around them. Kaiden had a weird sense that the calmness flowing into him was coming directly from her.
“I heard what you said to your father about me.”
Kaiden grimaced. “Yeah, I’m sorry about that. I have no idea where it all came from.”
“From your heart.” She set her mug down on the table. “It can’t have been easy for any of you growing up without a mother.”
“I don’t blame you, Mom.” He looked her in the eye. “Dad caused all of this.”
She sighed. “I wish I had your confidence that was true. I still beat myself up regularly, like, how hard did I try to get back? What kind of mother walks out on her own kids? Maybe I should’ve just knuckled down and let him win?”
“But you did try,” Kaiden pointed out. “I remember Dad and Rae having a terrible fight once because you were in Bridgeport, and she was trying to sneak us all out to see you. Dad took her car keys and kept us in the house for the whole day, and no one else knew why.”
“You remember that?” his mother asked. “I had no idea.”
“I never told anyone what I overheard. I wasn’t that stupid.” Kaiden wrapped both hands around his mug. “I cried myself to sleep that night.”
“I still could’ve tried harder,” Leanne said. “At one point, Declan asked if I’d like him to set his lawyers onto Jeff to insist I had visitation rights. That he’d be happy to pay to fly you all out to New York if it put a smile back on my face. I thought about it, but I was terrified that it would make things even worse, and that taking you away from the ranch you all loved would just confuse you more, and cause resentment.”
“I don’t think Dad would’ve cared if the courts had ordered him to do something. He would’ve just ignored them anyway,” Kaiden reminded her.
“That’s probably true.” She bit her lip. “Also, by the time I saw Ben again, he was so angry with me that I was afraid I’d left it too long, and that you all hated me.”
“We never did that,” Kaiden said. “Most of us thought you were dead because Dad just wouldn’t even say your name.”
Leanne groaned. “Neither of us would win parent of the year, that’s for sure.”
“I guess you both did your best.”
Leanne reached for his hand. “There you go again, trying to make me feel better about myself. At some level I know I did the best I could, but my heart tells me differently.”
“I’ll apologize to Dad tomorrow, okay?” Kaiden finally stirred.
“You don’t need to do that.”
“I’ll feel better if I do.” Kaiden shrugged. “I don’t like falling out with people.”
“It’s hard to deal with other people’s anger, isn’t it?” Leanne said.
“That’s not the thing I have a problem with. I’m used to . . .” Kaiden said slowly. “I’m way more worried that I’ll be the angry one, and I’ll sound just like Dad.”
Chapter Fourteen
“We’re going to store most of this lumber in the barn, Wes, so you can help carry everything in.”
Kaiden let down the tailgate of his truck as Wes got out and ambled toward him, yawning so hard Kaiden could see his tonsils. He hadn’t particularly wanted to go to the Garcia Ranch this morning, but he didn’t have much choice. Mike’s truck was already parked outside the house, which meant that at least Kaiden wouldn’t have to face Julia alone.
“Isn’t that stuff, like, heavy?” Wes frowned.
“Just think of the muscles you’ll have to flex when we’re done.” Kaiden grabbed hold of the first long plank. “Get the other end, will you?”
With a long-suffering sigh, Wes pocketed his phone and did as Kaiden asked.
“Ouch.” After they’d set the plank down, Wes sucked his thumb into his mouth. “I think I got a splinter.”
“I’ve told you a million times to wear your gloves, Wes.”
“I left them in the truck.”
“I suppose that’s progress. Last week you didn’t even manage to bring them,” Kaiden muttered as he stalked back to the truck.
“You’re super salty today, boss. What’s up?” Wes called out to him.
Kaiden yanked hard at the next piece of wood, which, typically, refused to budge. “I’m good, thanks.”
“No, you’re not.”
For a second, Kaiden debated the merits of getting into a stupid argument with a teenager, and reluctantly decided it wasn’t worth it. Just because he was salty, wasn’t a reason to take out his frustrations on Wes.
“Is it because of your dad?”
Kaiden looked up at his apprentice.
“Beth said I should be nice to you, because, like, your dad is sick, and that you must be feeling worried about him,” Wes said. “So, if you are worried, you can, like, talk to me about it, you know? Because I, like, know how it feels when you’ve got a sick parent.” He frowned. “Although, my mom died, and I don’t think that’s going to happen to your dad, okay?”
“That’s . . . really thoughtful of you, Wes,” Kaiden said, then blew out a breath. “I appreciate it.”
Wes grinned at him. “Awesome!” He pointed at the bed of the truck. “If I climb in there I should be able to move that piece.”
“Thanks.”
Jeez, his emotions really were rattled if the awkward offer of help from a teenager was making him feel like welling up. Behind him, the ranch door opened and shut and his shoulders tensed.
“Hey,” Julia said brightly. “Dad and I decided to take a walk while the weather was holding up.”
“Good morning, Kaiden and Wes,” Juan called out.
He turned to see Juan smiling from his wheelchair with Julia behind him pushing. He’d laid the new wider and graded path for the wheelchair a couple of days before, and he was glad to see Juan taking advantage of it.
“Hey, Miss G and Mr. G!” Wes said. “How’s it hanging?”
“Er, great! Thanks!” Juan replied.
Kaiden finally got a good hold on the end of the wood as Wes eased it clear of the congestion and managed to wrestle it out of the truck.
“What’s all that for?” Juan asked after Kaiden and Wes returned from the barn.
“Most of it is for the kitchen cabinets.” Kaiden stripped off his jacket as he started to warm up from
the exercise. “I won’t be starting yet, but I wanted to bring the wood over so I could measure up.” He nodded at the barn. “I can set up my workshop out here so I’m not in Mike and Bernie’s way.”
“I can’t wait to see what you do with it,” Juan said.
“I’ve got some ideas.” Kaiden smiled at him. “But, don’t worry, I’ll consult with you as I get going.”
“I trust you,” Juan said. “I’d rather wait and get a surprise.”
“You sure?” Kaiden joked, aware that Julia was keeping really quiet. “I could totally get it wrong, and you’d hate it.”
“I doubt that.” Juan looked up at his silent daughter. “Julia was telling me about the memory cabinet you made for Ben and Silver and how beautiful it was.”
“Thanks.” Kaiden couldn’t help but look at Julia, and wished he hadn’t. The last thing she needed was his puppy dog eyes begging for scraps of affection. “I love making things like that.”
“I can tell,” Julia spoke finally and Kaiden breathed more easily.
“Wes and I are going to be in and out of the house most of the day, measuring up the new bathroom shower wall and re-siting the closet into its new spot, so don’t mind us.”
“We’re getting used to all the comings and goings these days,” Juan said. “It makes life interesting.”
“That’s a good way to look at it.” Kaiden nodded. “Now, we’d better get on with unloading the truck, or we won’t be building anything today.”
* * *
Julia gave her father his mug of coffee and avoided looking out of the window where Kaiden had now shed his shirt, and was working in a tight, black T-shirt that showcased his biceps and flat stomach way too well.
“Is there anything I can do that is away from the house today?” Julia asked.
Juan looked at her. “I would’ve thought you’d appreciate Kaiden hanging out here all day.”
She found a smile. “I doubt he’d appreciate me stopping him every five seconds to chat. Didn’t you say that you needed to check up on those cabins way up on the northern fence line? The ones we used to rent out to hunters?”
“Jose and Andy can do that.”
“No, they can’t, Dad,” Julia said patiently. “They are busy trying to round up the cattle, and that’s taking a while.”
