‘How is it, sacred Majesty, that Benvenuto is to make you twelve silver statues – and that’s what you want – when he hasn’t yet finished one? If you use him for this great undertaking you’ll certainly have to go without the other things you want so much, seeing that a hundred great artists couldn’t finish the tremendous works that this one clever man has taken on. It’s obvious how anxious he is for work – and that will result in your Majesty’s losing both him and his work at one stroke.’
This, and arguments like it, meant that when they found the King in a good frame of mind he agreed to all they had asked: but as yet he had not been shown a single one of Bologna’s designs or models.
While this was going on the second tenant that I had chased out of the castle brought an action against me in Paris: he began a lawsuit on the plea that when I had evicted him I had stolen a lot of his property. The lawsuit caused me so much anxiety and took up so much of my time that more than once I nearly cleared off in despair. In France they have the habit of making a great deal of money out of any lawsuit begun against a foreigner, or against anyone who seems to be rather incompetent in litigation. As soon as the action begins to look profitable they try to sell it: some lawsuits have even been given as dowries to the sort of men who make it their profession to trade in them.
Another nasty habit of theirs is that the people of Normandy – or the majority of them – are in the practice of giving false testimony. What happens is that the men who buy the lawsuits immediately prime four or half a dozen of these witnesses, according to need, and then the man who has not been warned to bring forward an equal number of witnesses as a counter, and who is ignorant of the custom, at once finds the verdict going against him.
I found myself mixed up in this business. The whole thing seemed very unjust, but I appeared at the Great Hall of Justice in Paris to defend my cause. There was a judge there, acting as representative for the King in civil cases, seated on a lofty tribunal. He was a tall, fat man, very thickset, with a tremendously forbidding appearance; grouped round him on both sides was a crowd of solicitors and advocates, drawn up on the right and on the left. All the time there were others coming up one at a time, and stating their cases to the judge. Every now and then I noticed the advocates at his side all speaking at once, and I was astonished at how that marvellous man, looking just like Pluto, held himself alertly, cocked his ear now to this man, now to that, and answered them all expertly. Since I have always taken delight in witnessing and growing familiar with every kind of expertise I would not have missed this splendid business for worlds.
As it was, the hall was very large and thronged with crowds of people: they were careful not to let anyone in unless he had a reason for being there, and the door was kept barred and guarded. Sometimes, in trying to prevent someone from coming in, the guard on the door made such a commotion that he interrupted that marvellous judge, and then, losing his temper, the judge would turn and give him a good dressing-down.
This happened several times, and I studied the occurrence, noting the exact words that the judge used himself. He observed two noblemen, who were coming to see what was going on, and as the porter started forcibly resisting their entry, the judge yelled out in a loud voice: ‘Be quiet, be quiet, Satan, get out of here, and be quiet.’
In French, these words sound like this: ‘Phe phe Satan phe phe Satan alè phe.’ I had acquired a mastery of French, and when I heard this phrase I realized what Dante meant when he went with his master Vergil inside the gates of the Inferno.247
Now, together with the painter Giotto, Dante was in France,248 and especially in Paris; and for the reasons I mentioned one could truly say that the place where the lawsuits are held in Paris is an Inferno. So, as Dante understood French very well, he employed that very expression: and it seems extraordinary to me that this interpretation had never been offered before. In fact I believe and maintain that the commentators make him say things he never thought of.
To return to my own affairs. When I saw the court coming to certain decisions about my case, which were passed on to me by those lawyers, seeing there was no other way to help myself I had recourse to my large dagger. I have always loved owning fine weapons, and the first man to use this one on was the leading spirit in that unjust lawsuit that was brought against me. One night I stabbed him so many times in the legs and arms (taking care, however, not to kill him) that I deprived him of the use of both his legs. Then I went after the fellow who had brought the suit, and notched him so effectively that he abandoned it.
Thanking God for this and for everything else, and reckoning that I would be left unmolested for a while, I told the young men in my service – especially the Italians – that for the love of God they were to apply themselves to their work and carry on assisting me for some time till I could complete the works that were already begun and that would soon be finished. Then I meant to go back to Italy because I could not stand the ruffianly ways of those Frenchmen. I added that if the good King once lost his temper with me he would make my life very unpleasant on account of the other things I had done in self-defence.
The Italians I mentioned were, first and dearest, Ascanio, from a place called Tagliacozzo in the Kingdom of Naples; the other was a Roman of very low birth, called Pagolo, who didn’t know who his own father was. These two were the ones I had brought with me from Rome, and who had been living with me in Rome. There was another Roman, who had also left Rome on purpose to find me. His name too was Pagolo, and he was the son of a poor Roman nobleman of the Macaroni family: this young man did not know much about art, but he was a courageous fighter. Then there was a Ferrarese called Bartolomeo Chioccia. And then there was a Florentine called Pagolo Miccieri.
He had a brother nicknamed Gatta who was a very competent clerk, but had overspent when he was managing the property of Tommaso Guadagni, an extremely wealthy merchant. This Gatta put in order the books in which I kept the accounts of the great Christian King and of various other people. Pagolo Miccieri, having learnt from his brother how to do so, kept them up for me, and I gave him a generous allowance. He appeared to be a very trustworthy young man, I remarked his religious nature, I constantly heard him muttering prayers, and saw him holding his rosary, and so I thought – trusting in his assumed piety – that I could rely on him thoroughly.
I called him aside and said to him: ‘Pagolo, my dear brother, you can see how well off you are with me, and you know that you had nothing to begin with, and besides this you’re a Florentine. And I trust you all the more because I can see how devout you are in practising your religion, which pleases me very much. So I beg you to come to my help, since I don’t trust any of the others overmuch. I beg you to take care of two most important matters, both of which could give me a great deal of anxiety. First, I want you to take good care of my belongings so as to prevent anything being stolen: and don’t touch any of them yourself. And as well as this; there’s the matter of that poor young girl Caterina whom I keep chiefly to assist me in my art, and whom I can’t do without. Besides this, since I’m a man I’ve used her for enjoyment in bed, and it could be that she will give me a child. I don’t want to bear the expense of other men’s children, and I certainly won’t stand such an injury being done me. In fact if anyone in this house were rash enough to do such a thing and I came to know about it, I can say for certain that I would kill both of them. So I beg you, my dear brother, to be of help to me, and if you see anything to tell me at once. If anything happened I’d have her and her mother hanged along with anyone who did such a thing. So first of all make sure you keep an eye on yourself.’
The rascal made a sign of the cross, from his head to his feet, and cried out:
‘O blessed Jesus! God keep me from ever thinking of such a thing! first, because I’m not given to such evil ways, and then, don’t you believe that I fully recognize the great debt I owe you?’
At these words, seeing that he said them in such a simple, affectionate way, I believed that everything was
exactly as he said.
Two days later happened to be a feast day, and Mattio del Nazaro249 – who was also an Italian serving the King very ably in the same profession as myself – had invited me and my young men to enjoy the pleasures of a garden party. I thought that for the time being I had subdued all the clamour arising from that troublesome lawsuit, so I got myself ready and told Pagolo to come along as well and enjoy himself for a while.
The young man replied: ‘Surely it would be a great mistake to leave the house alone like this: think how much gold and silver and jewellery you have here. Seeing that we’re living in a city of thieves we ought to be on the alert day and night. I shall guard the house, and pass the time away saying my prayers: you can set your mind at rest, go off to enjoy yourself, and have a good time. Another occasion someone else can stay on duty.’
Thinking that I could leave without anxiety I set off for the garden, along with Pagolo, Ascanio, and Chioccia. We spent a good part of the day there very agreeably; and then, after midday, as the evening began to approach I became rather pensive, and I began brooding on the words which that wretch had said to me with such persuasive simplicity. I mounted my horse and returned to the castle with two of my servants where I all but caught Pagolo and that slut Caterina in the very act. As soon as I appeared on the scene that French strumpet of a mother of hers screamed out: ‘Pagolo, Caterina, the master’s here.’
When I saw them coming forward, terrified and confused, hardly knowing what they were saying, or, in their panic, where they were going, it was clear what they had been up to. My anger got the better of me and I drew my sword, determined to kill both of them. Pagolo fled, and the girl threw herself on her knees, screaming to heaven for mercy. My first impulse was to let fly at the man, but I did not catch him at once, and when I did do so I had in the meantime made up my mind that the best thing would be to throw them both out of the house, seeing that if I killed them on top of all my other recent actions I would have difficulty escaping with my own life.
So I said to Pagolo: ‘If I had seen with my own eyes, you wretch, what you force me to believe, I would have run this sword through your guts a dozen times. Now, get out of my sight, and if you ever say an Our Father make it St Julian’s.’250
Then very fiercely I drove the girl and her mother away, using both my feet and my fists. They planned to have their revenge on me and they consulted a Norman lawyer, who advised them that she should say I had used her in the Italian fashion, that is to say, unnaturally, like a sodomite.
‘At least,’ he said, ‘when this Italian hears about it, knowing what a dangerous position he’s in he’ll be all too eager to give you a few hundred ducats to keep you quiet, seeing the terrible punishment that is meted out in France for such an offence.’
So they made their agreement: they lodged the accusation against me, and I was summoned.
The more I sought for rest, the more my tribulations increased. Every day I was assailed by various kinds of bad fortune, and I began to ponder which of two things I should do: either clear out and let France be damned; or really fight this battle as well and see what God had in store for me. I worried over the matter for a long time; then in the end I made up my mind to clear off and not tempt my bad luck too much in case I ended by coming a cropper. I made all possible preparations, took steps to dispose quickly of the property I could not take with me, and accommodated my small belongings, as best I could, on my own person and on my servants: but I was taking my departure very unhappily. I remained by myself in my small study, having said to my young men who had advised me to flee the country that it would be as well for me to think matters over a little entirely by myself, although I realized that in great part they were talking sense. If I escaped imprisonment and allowed the storm a little while to blow over, I would be in a much better position to make my excuses to the King, letting him know by letter that this treacherous attack was only the result of spite. As I said, I had made up my mind that this was what I would do. Then, just as I made a move, I was seized by the shoulder and turned round, and I heard a voice say encouragingly:
‘Benvenuto, behave as you usually do and have no fear.’
At once I completely reversed my decision; I said to my young Italians:
‘Get hold of some good weapons and come along with me. Do whatever I order, and don’t think of anything else, because I mean to fight it out. If I were to leave, the very next day you would all go up in smoke. So do what I say and come with me.’
In complete agreement those young men replied: ‘Since we are here and owe our livelihood to him we ought to go along and help him to do what he proposes, as long as there’s life in us. He has reached the truth better than us; as soon as he left this place our enemies would send us all packing. We ought to reflect seriously on the great works that have been begun here, and on their important nature. We’re not up to the task of finishing them without him, and his enemies would say that he had left because he wasn’t up to carrying such enterprises through to the finish.’
They made a good few other relevant observations besides these. The first to rouse their spirits was that young Roman of the Macaroni family; he also called in some of the Germans and Frenchmen who were fond of me. We were ten in all: I set out with my mind resolved, determined not to be taken alive.
When I appeared before the criminal judges I found there Caterina and her mother, and as I came up they were laughing with their lawyer. I marched in and called boldly for the judge, who was seated high above the others on his tribunal, swollen out, bulky, and fat. When this man saw me he shook his head in a menacing way, and said in a lowered voice: ‘Although your name is Benvenuto this time you’re malvenuto.’
I heard what he said and I called out a second time: ‘Now be quick about it, tell me what I’m here for.’
Then the judge turned to Caterina and said: ‘Caterina, tell us about all that happened between you and Benvenuto.’
Caterina said that I had had intercourse with her in the way they did in Italy.
The judge turned to me and said: ‘You hear what Caterina says, Benvenuto.’
Then I said: ‘If I had had intercourse with her in the Italian way, I would have done so only in my desire to have a son, in the same way as you do.’
Then the judge replied: ‘She means that you did it by another way than the way for begetting children.’
To this I answered that such was not the Italian way, and that on the contrary it must be the French way, since she knew all about it and not I: and I said that I wanted her to explain exactly what I had done with her. Then that beastly whore without any shame said openly and clearly what was the filthy practice she accused me of. I made her repeat it three times in succession; and when she had finished, I said in a loud voice:
‘My lord judge, lord lieutenant of His Most Christian Majesty, I ask you for justice: I know that the laws of the Most Christian King punish such an offence with burning, for both active and passive partners. That woman confesses her sin; as for me, I have had no relations of any kind with her. Her strumpet of a mother is here too, and, for one crime or another, she deserves burning. I ask you for justice.’
I kept repeating these words in a loud voice, continually demanding that she and her mother be sent to the stake, and telling the judge that if he did not send her to prison in my presence I would run to the King and inform him of the injustice that his lieutenant in the criminal court was doing me. With my making this tremendous commotion, they began to lower their voices; then I raised mine higher, the little whore and her mother began to cry, and I roared at the judge: ‘Burn them! Burn them!’
The coward, seeing that things had not gone the way he planned, began speaking more softly and making excuses for the weaker sex. At that I came to the conclusion that I had won a great battle and, muttering threats, I was only too glad to take myself off. In fact I would willingly have paid five hundred crowns never to have appeared there. I had escaped the tempest, and I thanked God wit
h all my heart. Then in cheerful spirits I returned with my young men to the castle.
When adverse fortune, or our evil star if we like to call it that, sets out to persecute a man, it never lacks new ways of taking the field against him. I thought I had weathered such an overwhelming tempest that for a short while my evil star should leave me alone; and yet before I had recovered my breath after that appalling danger it threatened me with two more at the same time. In the course of three days two events happened, both of which nearly sent me toppling into death. What happened was that I went to Fontainebleau to talk with the King: he had written me a letter, saying that he wanted me to make the dies for all the coinage of the realm, and with the letter he had sent a few sketches showing me something of what he wanted. But he gave me a free rein to proceed in the matter as I pleased. I had made some new designs, following my own ideas and the beauty of form demanded by the art.
After I had reached Fontainebleau one of those treasurers whom the King had commissioned to see to my needs (he was called Monsignor della Fa)251 immediately said to me:
‘Benvenuto, the painter Bologna252 has been commissioned by the King to make your great Colossus;253 and all the commissions that were made over to you by our King earlier on, they have been taken away from you and given to him. We’ve regarded this as a very bad business, and it seems to us that this Italian of yours has treated you outrageously, since by virtue of your models and the hard work you put in the commission was already yours. This man has filched it from you only by means of the favour shown him by Madame d’Étampes: and although the commission has already been his for a good few months he hasn’t shown any sign of making his preparations.’
I said in astonishment: ‘How can it be possible for me to have known nothing of all this?’
Then he told me that Bologna had kept it very secret and that he had found it very hard to obtain the commission, since the King was unwilling to give it him, but that he had won it only through the persistence of Madame d’Étampes. Realizing how wickedly I had been wronged, and seeing filched from me a work I had won with so much toil, I resolved to assert myself vigorously and I went straight away to find Bologna, taking my sword with me.
The Autobiography of Benvenuto Cellini Page 36
