"Oh." Her tears, which seemed to be living awfully close to the surface these days, welled up again. No one in her life had ever given her permission to put her wants and happiness first. It felt…wrong.
She shook her head, unable to speak as a lifetime of conditioning to always put other people's needs ahead of her own vied with his request to tell him her deepest desires.
"You can trust me," he said softly. "I promise I won't laugh at you or tell you that what you want is impossible. Or selfish."
"Being with you makes me happy," she said finally. "But I love ranching too. This place, my animals, the peacefulness of it. Maybe it was a little lonely, but after I moved here, for the first time in my life, I didn't have to ask anyone for permission to do things. And until this summer, I was doing really well. I would have made a profit next year, for sure…if only—" She waved it away. "Well, no use speculating about that now."
"I don't know if I can help you keep this ranch," he said, "But what if I told you that my parents have been pressuring me to take over our family ranch? I mean, it's elk and beef cattle, but it's got enough acreage and pastures to support goats and alpacas, too."
She stared up at him, unable to believe her ears.
He grinned down at her. "Also, have you given any thought to musk oxen and that qiviut I was telling you about the other day?"
"I—I'm not up to running a cattle ranch. I'm such a newbie, I've barely figured out how to care for goats," she said, wondering if he was really asking her what she thought he was asking.
But it got her thinking. Am I willing to admit defeat here and move to Alaska to make a fresh start?
"My folks are thinking about retiring, so I'm sure they'd be willing to train you. And I'd be willing to quit smokejumping and be your partner."
She stared at him in shock. No one had ever had her back like this. She'd always been the one to make all the sacrifices.
Carl's offer touched to her core, but there was no way she could accept it, especially since she knew how much smokejumping meant to him.
"I don't want you to have to quit your job because of me," she protested. "I've already messed up my own life. I don't want to mess up your life too."
"You're not going to mess up my life by being with me," Carl assured her. "In fact, being with you makes me happy, Michelle. I've never felt like this about anyone I've dated, shifter or Ordinary. I want to see if we can find a way to make this work. How about you?"
"Yes. Okay, being with you is the only thing I'm sure about right now. And—" She swallowed hard as she offered to turn her life upside down…again. "I'd be willing to consider moving to Alaska. But what about your job? You're based out of Denver, right?"
He shrugged. "There are a lot of smokejumpers in Alaska too, mostly because there aren't a lot of highways in the interior. I won't lie to you—if I joined the Alaska Smokejumpers next season, I'd really miss Thor, Kara, Mike, and the other jumpers on my team a whole hell of a lot. But if you can deal with moving to Palmer and only seeing me once in a while during the summer, then I can deal with transferring to another smokejumper base next summer. And I'd be all yours for the other three seasons a year."
Michelle stared at him, stunned. He'd do that for me? she thought. Leave his friends? Change jobs?
She swallowed hard. "I don't know about moving to your family's ranch. But if—if I sold my ranch here, do you think I could afford something near your family's place in Alaska?"
"Let's look into what's available in the area," Carl said.
"Okay," she said. Her head was spinning with the sudden influx of possibilities. Trying to grab onto Carl's optimism, she continued, "And it looks like I may not have to worry about how to get my animals from here to Alaska, if I find something I can afford."
"First things first. We'll call the sheriff as soon as we get back to the house." He moved in for a long kiss. "But before we do that, I have one last question for you: How do you feel about having kids?"
"I…uh…" Michelle's heart began pounding. This was the point when things had started going so badly wrong in her marriage. "How do you feel about it?"
Carl shook his head, smiling. "Nuh-uh, love, I asked you first." He tapped her cheek. "What do you want?"
What would make me happy? Michelle asked herself. "I want kids. I've always wanted kids."
She knew that Carl wasn’t Austin. But she still found herself bracing for disappointment.
In her imagination, she heard Carl say, Well, that's too bad, because I don't want kids. It's been fun, but I guess we should break up now.
"Good. I was hoping you'd say that." To her astonishment, he dropped to one knee. "Michelle, I wasn't planning to ask you until you'd been my girlfriend for a while, but do you know what would make me the happiest man on the planet?"
"You're not serious," she whispered, incredulous joy rushing in to soothe the pain of the many losses she'd suffered today.
"I am," he said, his eyes flecked with gold. "Michelle Hernandez, will you marry me? And let me mate you now?"
"What does that mean? Mating, I mean?"
"It's a special lifetime bond. Shapeshifters mate for life, so if you say yes—and I badly want you to say yes—then I'm yours, forever." He paused. "'Til death do us part, my love. You have to be absolutely sure about this, because after I bond with you, there can't be anyone else for me, not while you're alive."
"What happens if I die?" She wasn’t sure she wanted to know, but standing on the precipice of such a huge decision, she needed all the information she could get.
"Assuming I survive you? I probably won't want to live much longer. A lot of us don't survive the loss of our mates, because we're so closely bonded to them."
Do I want forever with this strange, wonderful man? Michelle asked herself.
Her heart and soul spoke together with one voice: YES!
Her eyes stung with fresh tears as she bent to kiss him, but this time, they were tears of joy. "Yes. I want to marry you, Carl. And be your mate, until death us do part."
◆◆◆
The rest of the day passed in a flurry of activity. Carl alternated between frustration at not being able to do more to help Michelle in her hour of greatest need, and intoxicating joy at having won his mate at last.
He ached to claim her fully and seal the mating bond between them, but had to wait while Michelle and he took care of various aspects of the fire and the aftermath of the theft.
They spent some time answering questions when a deputy sheriff from the La Plata County Sheriff's Office came by to take a report and conduct an investigation. Then Michelle phoned her insurance company and filed a claim, while Carl dug into his savings, went online, and ordered a pre-fab barn for expedited delivery to the ranch.
It wouldn't have nearly as much character as the old wooden barn had, but it would do the job sheltering Michelle's livestock over the winter…once they tracked down the thieves and recovered her precious goats and alpacas.
Carl discovered that Jim Johnson, an arson investigator at the Colorado Division of Fire Prevention and Control, happened to be in Durango, less than an hour's drive away. So he called in a favor and asked Johnson and his K9 partner to come by and take a look at what remained of Michelle's barn.
While he and Michelle awaited the investigators' arrival, Carl shifted to his wolf shape and conducted a careful examination of his own to determine what had happened to Michelle's livestock. Their trail definitely ended at the road, and Carl hit a dead end after that.
Thanks to the volunteer firefighters, so many different vehicles had passed this way in the past twenty-four hours that it was impossible to distinguish all the different vehicle odors. Plus, the lingering stink of the tanker truck's diesel emissions still blanketed the roadway, effectively obliterating all other traces of scent.
Jim Johnson, a cheerful, balding middle-aged white man, and his K9 partner Ruckus, a specially trained big black Labrador retriever, came by in the late afternoon.
Carl had met Johnson and Ruckus several times over the past few years in the course of arson investigations connected to wildland fires. It didn't take the duo long to confirm what Carl already knew about the barn fire's origin—that it had definitely been arson.
Which meant that Michelle's insurance policy payout would be delayed until the insurance company had conducted its own investigation and cleared Michelle of any involvement in the fire. Dammit.
Michelle's only reaction was a weary shrug. Her only comment was a defeated-sounding, "Yeah, that's pretty much what I expected."
Carl saw that she was mentally exhausted after all of the other shit that had happened today and decided not to press her about contingency plans. That discussion could wait until she'd eaten and gotten a good night's sleep.
Once Johnson and Ruckus departed, Beto joined Michelle and Carl in sorting through the debris from the fire.
The charred remains of the barn were saturated with water from the thousands of gallons of water used to extinguish the blaze. And the stink of stale smoke, scorched wood, and burned plastic were nearly overwhelming to Carl's sensitive shifter nose.
The three of them salvaged what they could, which wasn't much. With Beto's help, Carl carefully demolished the one wall still standing, while Michelle busied herself pulling nails out of the weathered boards. Given the current craze for reclaimed wood from old barns, she could probably sell those boards.
When it got too dark to do any more work, Beto joined them for a simple dinner of Spaghetti Bolognese made with ground beef and served with salad made from the last head of lettuce from Michelle's vegetable garden.
When they were all sitting at the table, with glasses of red wine for Carl and Michelle and an orange soda for Beto, Michelle cleared her throat. "Beto, there's something Carl and I want to tell you. We're getting married."
Carl had expected a less-than-happy reaction from Michelle's brother.
But the young man turned ashen with shock under his tan, and dropped his fork. It clattered loudly against his plate.
"You've got to be kidding me, Mica," he said, ignoring Carl. "This is a bad joke, right? I mean, you've known this guy for, what, a week?"
Michelle didn't take the bait. She just folded her arms and looked steadily at her brother.
Beto sighed and looked down at his plate. "Right. Congratulations, I guess."
"Thank you," Michelle replied, an edge in her voice. "I'm sure you'll warm up to your new brother-in-law once you have the chance to get to know him."
"Well, I hope he's better than the last brother-in-law you picked," Beto shot back.
Michelle winced.
Carl suppressed a growl. He reached for her hand.
"I will be," he promised, trying to keep his tone calm. "Your sister is an amazing woman. I'll work hard to be worthy of her."
"Oh, ugh. Sappy." Beto rolled his eyes.
And that was the end of the conversation as they all dug in.
Beto shoveled his food down with single-minded intensity and speed, drained his soda, then rose from the table, picking up his plate and glass. "I'll leave you two lovebirds alone now."
"Beto." Michelle reached out and put her hand on her brother's sleeve. "Thanks for all of your help today. I really appreciate it."
He sighed. "Hey, I'm really sorry, Mica. About everything. It sucks that…someone…did all this bad shit to you." His expression twisted. "I'm just glad that you're okay."
She nodded soberly. "No one got hurt. I keep reminding myself that's the most important thing."
Beto started walking towards the sink, then stopped and turned to look into Carl's eyes.
"Welcome to the family, mano. You hurt my sister, I'll hurt you." His dark brows drew down in a menacing frown. "I gave her loser ex a black eye after he made her cry. She was so mad at me, but he was a fucking loser."
Michelle rolled her eyes and sighed loudly, as if she'd heard this story before. "Yes, you're absolutely right. After you hit him, Austin was still a loser, but then he was a loser who wanted to press charges against you, Beto."
Carl shot her a sympathetic glance, then returned his attention to his prospective brother-in-law. He nodded. "I promise I'll do everything in my power to make your sister happy. No black eyes required."
"Good luck." Beto didn't sound optimistic.
He left.
Carl and Michelle finished their dinner, then began to clean up.
As soon as the table had been cleared and the leftovers put away, Carl moved to pin Michelle against the kitchen counter.
"Let's leave the dishes for tomorrow." He bent and captured her mouth in a heated kiss. "I want you."
Michelle wound her arms around his neck and pressed her soft curves eagerly against him. "I want you too. I say, screw the dishes."
His cock sprang to eager life, ready for duty.
Then Carl's wolf seized control of his vocal cords and expressed its deepest desire. "I want to mate you, Michelle. Tonight. And I want to plant a baby inside you."
She made a noise of pure need deep in her throat and arched against him. The delectable curve of her belly caressed his hard-on.
"Yes," she panted, her hot breath brushing his ear. "Do it. I don't want to wait either."
Her fingers dug into the muscle of his shoulders, and he relished the sensation of her breasts pressing against his chest, firm and soft.
He ran his hands down her back, her muscles taut and warm through her tight t-shirt, and shaped the deep, generous curves of her waist and hip and ass.
Carl drew back a little, his breath coming fast. "Last chance to change your mind," he growled. "After this, you're mine. My mate. Forever."
"Not going to change my mind," Michelle assured him. Her kiss was deep, sweet, and utterly hot. "I'm crazy in love with you, my werewolf dude."
He laughed at that. "Good. Because I'm crazy in love with you too." He bent to claim her mouth for another deep kiss. "Now that's settled, my love, I'm going to fuck your brains out tonight and make both of us very, very happy."
Michelle giggled, her warm brown eyes alight with desire. "Funny, I was thinking the same thing."
"Great minds think alike." Carl swept her up in his arms and carried her to her bedroom.
There, they undressed each other with fevered haste, letting their clothes drop carelessly to the floor,
He leaned in for another kiss and slid his hands between them to caress her big, rose-brown nipples with his thumbs.
He loved her generously rounded breasts, and her response to having them kissed and nibbled was so hot that she'd nearly made him lose control during their previous make-out sessions.
She was already panting and wiggling against him, grinding herself against his cock as her breasts filled his hands with their sweet weight. He couldn't resist leaning in to plunder her sweet mouth yet again with his tongue.
He inhaled the perfume of her arousal and it made him drunk with desire.
I really should take my time and enjoy this, Carl thought as he lifted her.
But she was more than ready for him, and after all the self-denial he'd practiced during the last few nights, he wanted to claim her much too badly to go slowly.
"You're gorgeous, you know that, right?" she said, panting, as she wrapped her long, muscled legs around his hips.
He grinned, "So are you. I feel like the luckiest man in the state right now."
"And I don’t know how I would have gotten through today without you," she responded and kissed his throat.
He laughed, then lowered her onto her bed. She never stopped kissing him, frantic caresses on the side of his neck, his chin, his mouth as he followed her down.
"Carl," she begged. "Please. Now."
She didn't have to ask twice.
He moved over her, and she spread her thighs eagerly, pulling his hips down until the blunt head of his cock pressed against her wet, hot entrance.
Then he entered her with one powerful thrust. She was slippery and
tight, and it felt like coming home.
"Mother of God," she gasped, arching beneath him.
She wound her legs around him as he began to move, hooking her heels against the back of his knees.
He took her fast and hard, his mouth covering hers, muffling her moans as he moved against her.
She panted and thrust her hips in counterpoint to his thrusts, her short nails digging into his back.
It didn't take long before his climax began winding up. Determined to make sure that she enjoyed this as much as he did, he slid his hand between their bodies and began teasing her clit as he continued to move in and out of her.
Hard Landing Page 17
