He looked at me funny. “Really?”
“Yes. When I’m in a bad mood, I put on some music or I sit down to play and the badness kind of falls away. Sometimes, it happens fast, and other times, it can take a while. When it is taking a long time, I know I have a lot of stuff to work out. I just keep playing.”
He seemed to get it. “I get real sad sometimes. I usually read a book.”
“That helps. Sometimes, our minds need a rest. When there is a lot of stuff happening, we can feel overwhelmed. Reading, listening to music, playing the piano, or even walking can help give our minds a break. We don’t have to think about all the stuff that makes us sad. We can think about good stuff. Then, when we’re done playing or whatever, the good stuff is on top, and the bad stuff doesn’t feel so big. Do you understand?”
He smiled. “I do.”
“Good. The next time you’re having a hard day, paint. Draw. Color. You tell your brain to have a timeout while you fill your head with good stuff.”
He grinned, and before I knew what he was going to do, he threw his little arms around my waist and hugged me. At first, I was frozen, not knowing what to do. I had never been hugged by a kid before. I did what anyone did when they were hugged. I hugged him back.
It felt good to help the kid. He looked like he was carrying the weight of the world on his little shoulders, and I wanted to help him out any way I could. Hugging him seemed to be doing a lot of good.
“You’re going to be all right, Jace. Trust me, it does get better. You’ve got a good mom who will make sure you’re okay.”
He pulled back and looked up at me. “I know. But some days, I don’t like. Some days, I want to stay in my room all day.”
I nodded. “I completely understand. You keep being you and never change for anyone. Don’t listen to what anyone else says. If they aren’t nice, you don’t need them in your life. They don’t matter to you.”
“How come some people are mean?” he asked.
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess maybe they have some bad stuff in their lives, and they don’t know how to deal with it, so they take it out on other people.”
“That’s not very nice.”
“No, it isn’t. But you can’t let them bring you down. You just keep pushing through.”
“I will,” he said with all the conviction of a child. I could see the determination in his eyes. I hoped it helped. I hoped he could rise above the bullies.
Chapter 20
Harper
I couldn’t move. I watched my son hug Theo, and I couldn’t move.
I had never seen him show affection to anyone. He rarely hugged me. Jace had initiated the hug, practically throwing himself into Theo’s lap. The expression on Theo’s face told me he hadn’t been expecting it either. It was sweet and endearing, and my heart literally felt squeezed as I watched the scene.
I turned around, blinking several times to rid my eyes of the moisture that had sprung up as I witnessed the touching scene. I took a deep breath and turned around, pretending I hadn’t witnessed anything.
“You guys thirsty?” I asked in a cheery voice.
I handed them each their water before taking a seat on the bench alongside them.
“We’re watching people look at art,” Jace explained.
“Oh, why?” I asked.
“Because we all see things differently. Theo likes to watch people to see who likes it and who doesn’t.”
I nodded. “I see.”
Theo looked at me and shrugged a shoulder. “We’re all different. We all see things in our own way. We all feel and taste and hear things in our own unique way.”
I smiled. “I understand.”
I watched as the two of them watched other people. It was so simple and so easy to understand. I had clearly overcomplicated things by trying to explain to Jace he wasn’t any different than the other kids. Two minutes alone with Theo and he was a different kid. I knew they connected on a level I didn’t understand, but until that moment, I hadn’t realized just how important that was.
We made our way around the museum, letting Jace interact with some of the displays while Theo and I talked. It was so easy to be with him. I didn’t feel like I had to be anyone but me. I hoped he felt the same way.
“Should we go home?” I asked after several hours at the museum, followed by some time at the park next door.
“I’m hungry,” Jace complained.
“We’ll make an early dinner. Theo, would you like to stay for dinner?”
“I would like that a lot,” he said, putting his hand on the small of my back as we walked back to his car.
“What should we make for dinner?” I asked.
Jace looked up at Theo. “Do you like spaghetti?”
“I do.”
“Then let’s have spaghetti and meatballs,” Jace announced.
I grinned. I loved seeing him happy. “All right, spaghetti it is.”
“Do we need to stop at the store?” Theo asked once we were in his car.
“Nope. I have everything we need.”
We got back to the house. I went into the kitchen to start dinner while Jace and Theo sat at the table, going over Jace’s candy notes. I couldn’t help but eavesdrop on their conversation. They were taking the candy thing very seriously. Jace sounded like a forty-year-old man as he explained his reasons for liking or disliking a particular flavor.
It gave me a glimpse into his future. He was going to be okay. He would get through this rough patch and run his own company one day. He was methodical and empathetic, which would earn him the trust and loyalty of his staff. I just knew it.
After finishing their candy discussion, Jace went to his room. Theo came into the kitchen, standing behind me and nuzzling my neck with his arms around me. “Can I help with anything?” he asked.
“You can keep doing that,” I answered, tilting my neck to the side.
He chuckled. “If I keep doing that, dinner is going to burn.”
“You’re right. You can grab plates out of that cupboard.” I used my spoon to point. “Jace! Come help set the table.”
He reappeared and gave Theo a very descriptive training session about how to properly set the table and what condiments would be needed for the meal. I stirred the sauce, watching the two of them interact. I was thrilled with what I was seeing.
We sat down to dinner and talked about the museum and all the cool things we saw. Jace was a real Chatty Cathy, something I hadn’t seen in a while. I said very little while the two of them talked. It was a new thing for me. I was used to doing ninety percent of the talking with both of them. I had no idea that the two of them together would turn into a conversation fountain.
“Jace, hop in the shower, and then you can have twenty minutes to read,” I told him after we had cleaned up the dining room and enjoyed some time in the living room together.
“I should go,” Theo said.
“No, stay, please,” I said. “Just for a little while.”
He nodded. “Okay.”
It was a little while later by the time I got Jace tucked into bed. I returned to the living room to find Theo staring at the wall where a picture of a two-year-old Jace hung. I sat down beside him, putting my hand on his thigh. “Thanks for hanging out with us today.”
“Thank you for letting me hang out with you guys. It was fun.”
I chuckled. “The children’s museum can be fun. We’ve been a few times. They are always updating displays and adding new stuff, which keeps it interesting.”
“Jace really likes art. I think your idea to turn the extra room into his own art studio would be awesome. I know I would have loved to have my own art studio at his age.”
I grinned. “I’m going to have to rip out the carpet or cover it with tarps.”
He chuckled. “Creativity is never clean.”
“I suppose not. He really had a good time today. It was exactly what he needed after the day he had yesterday. What did the two of you talk abou
t on the bench? It seems to have resonated with him.”
He shrugged. “We talked about being different and that it was okay.”
“That’s it? Just like that?”
“I suppose. I’m sure he’s still going to have some struggles, but I think the most important thing he can remember is that he is okay as he is. When I was his age, I felt bad, not so much because of the teasing but because I felt broken, like I wasn’t put together right. I used to try and be like the others. I felt like I was wrong, and they were right. That was probably harder to deal with than the actual ridicule. It took me a long time to accept who I was. It wasn’t until probably the last few years I’ve decided I’m not broken. I’m different. The kids that gave me hell weren’t broken, either. They were different.”
“Bullshit,” I scoffed. “Kids that do that to other kids are absolutely broken, and a good bit of parenting will help fix them.”
He smiled. “I suppose they are broken in a way, but then you have to ask yourself, why? Kids have always been more accepting of me than most adults. It’s the kids that are taught to be assholes that are the assholes.”
“So, you’re saying I can beat the hell out of the parents?”
“Not if you want to stay out of jail,” he teased.
“You’re really good with him. Have you ever thought about having a family?”
He visibly cringed as if he had just smelled a really bad fart. “No.”
“Why not? You’re so good with him, and I bet you’re really good with other kids.”
He shook his head. “I wouldn’t know. I haven’t been around other kids. I tend to stay away from them.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I’ve always had such bad experiences with kids in the past. I would not be a good father. I don’t know how to take care of a kid. Hell, I can barely take care of myself.”
“You learn as you go,” I told him.
He shook his head. “I don’t think I could give them love and affection and the attention they need to be good humans.”
I laughed. “I think you could. When you see your child, things just fall into place. Although I don’t know if any of us is actually good at the parenting thing. I feel like I’m failing at every turn. I want to give Jace the whole world, but I always feel like I’m shorting him.”
“I don’t think he’s being shorted at all. He’s going to be okay.”
“Thank you for saying that.”
He leaned down to kiss me. “I should probably go.”
“Are you sure?” I whispered, hoping he would stay for a little while longer.
He nodded. “I will call you tomorrow. Sawyer is working on getting things finalized for the festival. I’m really excited to see it.”
“I know you’re going to love it,” I told him confidently.
“I’m sure I will.”
He got to his feet. I stood in front of him, wrapping my arms around his waist and resting my head against his shoulder. It felt good to hold him and be held. Yesterday had been horrible, but being in his arms just then made yesterday feel like a distant memory.
“I have some paperwork I need you to sign,” I told him, not letting go of him. “I can send an e-sign.”
“Or I could come back and sign it in person. Sounds like a pretty good excuse to see you again before Friday.”
I smiled, leaning back to look into his eyes. “I think that sounds like a very good idea.”
“Good. Just let me know when.”
“I will.”
I walked him to the door and got a kiss goodnight that left me wanting a lot more. He kissed my forehead before heading out. I sighed with supreme contentment. The man was quirky, but damn did he know how to kiss.
I went back to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of wine. I needed to get some work done. I usually did work after Jace had gone to bed for the night. I didn’t want to be distracted when he was awake. I was mommy and daddy, which meant I was always on duty.
I sat down with my laptop and pulled up the files I had been working on as part of the final planning stages for the festival. It was hard to imagine it was only a week away. It was officially crunch time. As I jotted down notes about things I still needed to do for the week, I thought about Jace and Theo at the museum.
I wasn’t ready to declare Theo a good father or even an option for a stepdad for Jace, but seeing the two interact was all the evidence I needed to know Jace did need a male figure in his life.
I wished like hell I lived closer to my parents, but even then, my father wasn’t in great health. David’s father had died during Desert Storm. He had no grandparents, uncles, or anyone that could step into that role.
I had thought being on a Little League team would be a good way for him to get that male leadership, but that had turned out to be a disaster. I was hoping Theo would stay close with him, no matter what happened between us. Theo was a good influence on Jace and seemed to speak the same language.
I couldn’t exactly ask Theo to do that for him. Or could I? I tapped my fingers above the keys of the laptop and mulled over how I could approach the subject with him. I had a feeling he would be open to the idea, but I didn’t want him to feel obligated.
“After the festival,” I told myself.
After the festival was behind me, I would know where Theo and I stood.
Chapter 21
Theo
I sipped my coffee, sitting next to the patio heater and enjoying the quiet morning. I had played a little music and was now enjoying my morning coffee outside in the fresh air. I listened to the birds singing, picking up their beautiful song and humming along with it. I was positive the angry people in the world were only angry because they didn’t have peace. If we had more gardens, parks, and forests in the world, people would be happier.
My phone rang, the melody a Mozart piece. It was the ringtone I had set for Harper. “Good morning,” I answered.
“Good morning to you. You sound like you’re in a good mood.”
“I think I’m always in a good mood.”
She laughed softly. “I suppose you are. I’ve got all that paperwork done. Are you sure you don’t want me to email it to you? I would hate to have you take time out of your busy schedule to come here.”
“No. I’d like to see you. My schedule isn’t that busy. Are you free tonight?”
“I am. What do you want to do?”
I grinned. I knew what I wanted to do, but I didn’t want to be crass. “How about dinner?”
“I can do dinner. I’ll ask Kylie to keep Jace for the night.”
“Sounds good. I need to go into the office to take care of some things, and then I’ll head to your office.”
“I can’t wait to see you,” she said.
“See you soon,” I told her and ended the call.
I leaned back in the chair, feeling good about the way things were going, although I wasn’t sure things were going to last. I wasn’t sure if she would want them to last. There was the chance that once the festival was over, we would go our separate ways. I didn’t like that idea, but I knew it was a possibility. She was a strong, independent woman. She didn’t need me. I needed her. I wanted to see her again and again. I didn’t want things to end simply because the festival was over.
After going into the office and taking care of a few things, I made my way to Harper’s office. I parked the car and walked in. Harper was on the phone, one hand scribbling on a pad as she bobbed her head, making sounds of approval. She waved at me to have a seat. I did as she asked, trying not to listen to her conversation. She ended the call and put her hands on her desk, looking at me and smiling. Her hair was a little mussed, and I could see she was stressed but putting on a really good show to appear calm.
“You’re early,” she said.
I nodded. “I am. I got done early and thought I would come on over. I hope that’s okay.”
“It’s perfect. I was just finishing up with one of our vendor
s. Let me get the paperwork.”
“How’s your day been?” I asked her.
She offered a harried smile. “Good. Better now that you’re here.”
“Any more problems with Jace?”
She shook her head. “No, thank god. He seems to be doing better this week. Your little talk with him seems to have helped.”
“Good. I hope so.”
She pulled out a couple of pieces of paper and slid them across the desk. “Can you sign these?”
I quickly reviewed the agreement and signed my name. I trusted her, but I always read anything I signed. “Done.”
“Thank you.”
“I’m really looking forward to Friday,” I told her.
She groaned. “I am, but I’m also nervous as hell that I’m overlooking something. I get a little crazy during this time.”
“I’m sure everything will be just fine,” I assured her.
“We’ve had one vendor drop out. The company with the bounce houses says they can only bring one because the others have been punctured or something. Now I’m scrambling to get more for the festival.”
“Is there anything I can do to help?” I offered.
She smiled. “You can take me to dinner and help me forget about the worries for now.”
“I would love to do that. Anything special you have in mind?”
“Comfort food. Greasy fattening comfort food.”
I chuckled. “I’m not sure what that is.”
She moaned. “Meatloaf. Fried chicken. Potatoes. Anything and everything with gravy.”
I laughed. “Okay. I understand. Where exactly would one find these things?”
She shrugged. “Normally, my kitchen, but I know a diner that serves all of it.”
“You’ve made me hungry.”
“Don’t tell me you don’t eat that stuff?”
I shook my head. “Not a lot. I have, but I was raised by nannies pretty much. And despite my father’s business of rotting out the teeth of every child on the planet, I was forced to eat healthily. Not forced, I suppose, but we had a cook that prepared gourmet meals.”
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