I could really be jumping the gun. She could have something completely different in mind. It didn’t matter. Even if Harper wasn’t interested in a life together, I knew it was time for me to start living.
I’d gotten a taste of life, and I was hooked.
Chapter 28
Harper
I was trying to focus on the emails that had poured in over the weekend. There were hundreds. The reviews were flooding our Yelp and Facebook page. It was resoundingly positive. We had a few helpful critiques, and those were the ones I was paying a lot of attention to. At least, I was trying to.
My stomach was angry. Like seriously angry. I was blaming the hamburger on Friday night. I thought it had tasted a little off. Now, I was certain it was a lot off. I supposed it could be a weekend of eating garbage. Vacations were always more about having fun and eating the stuff you didn’t get to eat during normal times.
I clicked on the email, blinking and trying to breathe in through my nose. “Oh dammit,” I groaned.
I got up and walked to the bathroom, praying I wouldn’t get sick. I put my hands on the sink, breathing deep and trying to settle my stomach. I needed crackers. And something fizzy to drink. I felt like the nausea was passing. I turned on the cold water and splashed it on my face.
I walked back to my desk, holding my arms out at my sides as if it would help settle things. It wasn’t doing much, but I wasn’t puking. I would take what I could get. I sat down and took a deep breath. Kylie had been working hard, replying to emails and fielding calls from the media. Apparently, Theo’s little speech was very popular and was earning a lot of attention for his company, as well as Halloweenfest.
She stopped working and looked at me from her desk. “You look very pale.”
I nodded. “I feel like shit.”
“Maybe you should go home. I don’t want you infecting me.”
I put a hand to my forehead. “I don’t have a fever. It isn’t contagious. Although I suppose I could have picked up something from the many places I visited over the weekend. That was a lot of germs to expose my poor body to.”
“Is Jace sick?”
“I don’t think so. He didn’t seem sick this morning.”
“Hmm,” she said.
I frowned at her. “What does that mean?”
“Nothing,” she said in a high-pitched voice.
“Bullshit. I know your hmms. What? What are you not saying?”
“I’m not saying you’re pregnant.”
My mouth dropped open. “I am not!”
She shrugged. “Are you sure?”
I thought about it. “Well, I don’t think I’m pregnant. It would be very early.”
She nodded. “But not impossible.”
“Oh god. I cannot be pregnant.”
“Did you have sex with Theo? Rather, have you had sex with anyone else?”
“Stop. You know I haven’t had sex with anyone except Theo.”
She smiled. “Well at least we won’t have to play ‘who’s the baby daddy.’”
“This isn’t funny,” I mumbled, my mind doing some math and rewinding the last few weeks. “Shit. Dammit. Shit.”
She laughed. “I’m going to take that as it is a possibility. I should lecture you about safe sex and remind you of the consequences, but I think you probably already know.”
“Oh god. I can’t be. What am I going to do with a baby?”
“Um, I guess the usual. You know, feed, burp, change a diaper, that kind of thing.”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re ridiculous. Are you done being funny? This isn’t funny. This changes so much.”
“It isn’t like you’re a teenager and can’t support yourself. You’ve talked about having another baby.”
“I said I wouldn’t mind having another baby one day. I didn’t mean this day. I didn’t mean I wanted to have a baby alone.”
She frowned. “Why would you be alone?”
“Uh, Theo and I hooked up a few times. I don’t know what we are. I’m not sure we’re really anything. I don’t want to drop this on him. I feel like such an idiot. I know better. I got too caught up in the moment.”
“Let’s go get a test,” she said.
I cringed. “I don’t want to know.”
She laughed. “I think you’ll figure it out when those killer pains hit and a baby pops out.”
“That isn’t going to happen.”
“I’ll go get a test.”
I shook my head. “No. Besides, it’s too early for one of those things to be accurate.”
“Not true.”
“No, I’m not going to take a test. Not now. If things don’t get better, I’ll take one. I’m sure it’s a combination of excess stress and shitty eating. I’m not a young lady anymore. I have to learn to take better care of myself.”
She shrugged. “Suit yourself, but the seed is planted. Maybe literally.”
“Ha, ha. I have to focus. I have an email from someone asking me about an Easter gig.”
I read the email for the third time. My brain was not working. I couldn’t stop thinking about what she had said. That and my stomach felt like it was a jumbled-up mess of ick. I felt pale and shaky. I did not feel like myself at all. I was psyching myself out. That was all it was. Kylie had put the idea in my head, and now I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
“Shit,” I mumbled, jumping to my feet and rushing for the bathroom once again.
I was no match for my rolling stomach. I gave up the meager breakfast I had enjoyed. After hanging over the toilet for a few minutes, I felt marginally better. I got to my feet and ran the water, rinsing my mouth before I stared at my reflection in the mirror.
“Oh, Harper, what have you done?” I whispered.
Part of me accepted what was happening. The other part of me wanted to deny it. I remembered when I was pregnant with Jace. I had known almost immediately. I was one of those lucky women who got morning sickness right out of the gate. I didn’t get to skate for a month or two. I had found out I was pregnant about a week, maybe ten days, after David had returned from deployment. I remembered waiting because I didn’t think it was possible to know so soon.
I had been pregnant then, and I had a sneaky suspicion I was pregnant now.
“Shit, shit, shit,” I muttered, walking back into the office.
Kylie was leaning against her desk, her arms folded, her ankles crossed. “Feel better?”
“No.”
“Oh, sweetie, it’s going to be okay,” she said soothingly. “I’ll be here for you. I’m not sure what the deal is with you and Theo, but you know it’s going to be okay. I’ll be by your side. I’ll be your other half.”
“Thank you. That’s very sweet.”
“I called my lady doctor, and she can squeeze you in at two,” she announced.
I shook my head. “I can’t.”
“You need to find out sooner rather than later so you can start taking care of yourself. You’re not exactly over the hill, but you’re not twenty-three. You’ve been busting your ass lately. You need to rest, and I bet the morning sickness won’t be so bad.”
I sighed, knowing she was right. “I always told myself if I got pregnant again, I was going to take it easy. I wanted to be one of those women that got to be pregnant and glow. David deployed just before Jace was born. I had been a bucket of nerves with the PDS and then him leaving. Things had been so difficult. I never felt like I had gotten the chance to enjoy the pregnancy.”
“Which is why you need to find out now. You’ve got about a hundred emails asking you to take on more work. If you’re pregnant, it will help you make the right decision. You can’t be taking on an Easter festival. You’d be in your third trimester.”
“I can still work,” I argued.
She sighed. “You just said you wanted to have a pampered pregnancy.”
“It would be a smaller festival,” I reasoned. “I’ll hire an extra body. We could do it. Hell, if I am pregnant, extra cash would be a good t
hing.”
“All right. We need to figure out if you are pregnant. We aren’t making any decisions until we know. Got it?”
I closed my eyes, processing everything. My life as I knew it would be changed forever if I was truly pregnant. I wasn’t going to say it was a bad change, but it was a change.
“Oh god, Jace,” I whispered.
Kylie waved her hand. “We’re going to the doctor. There is no reason to stress and think about things that may not happen. So, for now, we work. You keep returning emails, I’ll keep replying thank you for the review, and at two, we go to the doctor. Okay?”
I nodded. “Okay.”
She took her seat at her desk once again. I sat down and did my best to focus, rereading every email before I sent it.
“Ready?” Kylie asked a while later.
“Ready for?”
“Don’t play dumb,” she said, getting to her feet. “It’s time to go.”
I cringed. “I’m so terrified to know but anxious as well. Does that make sense?”
“Yes.”
We went to her doctor. I sat down and filled out the various paperwork and waited. The waiting was horrible. I did not want to wait. I wanted instant answers.
“Relax,” she said, touching my leg.
“I am.”
“Your foot is bouncing and shaking my chair.”
“Sorry. I’m freaking out.”
“Don’t.”
“Harper Pinkston!” my name was hollered into the waiting room.
I jumped out of my chair, gave one last look at Kylie, and followed the nurse back. I talked with the doctor, went through an exam, and then got my blood drawn.
“Do I pee on a stick?” I asked.
“No, not this early in the game. We’ll need a blood test to confirm the results.”
“How long until I know?”
“Give me a day or two,” she said with a smile.
I groaned. “That is going to be the longest two days ever.”
“Try and relax. I’ll call you as soon as I can.”
“Thanks. And thank you for taking me in on such short notice.”
“You’re very welcome.”
I walked into the waiting room. Kylie jumped out of her chair. “Well?” she asked loud enough for the entire world to hear.
“Shh, let’s go,” I whispered.
We walked out of the office. “Well?”
“I don’t know.”
“What the hell do you mean you don’t know?”
“I mean she drew blood and now I wait.”
“Dammit.”
I scoffed. “Don’t I know it. It’s fine. I’m going to keep busy and keep my mind off things.”
“What about Theo?” she asked.
“What about him?”
“Are you going to tell him?”
I shook my head. “Not now. I don’t know anything. There’s no point in telling him and getting him all worked up for nothing.”
“Are you two a thing?”
“I don’t know.”
“Regardless, you have to tell him.”
I wrinkled my nose. “I’m not sure I do. Not right away. Maybe if I am pregnant and I have the baby, I’ll send him an email. I’m not going to tell him and make him feel obligated to me. He’s that kind of guy. He would ask me to marry him, and it would just be weird.”
“You’re an independent woman. You’ll do what you need to. What you know is right for you and Jace. And the baby.”
“I’m starving,” I said, changing the subject. “Let’s go get something to eat.”
“Works for me. No more baby talk.”
“Thank you.”
We walked a block to a small diner. We sat down, and I ordered a Coke before I remembered the fact I could be pregnant and quickly changed it to water. I scanned the menu and thought about what I would need to do to eat healthier. If I was pregnant, I was going to do it right. I was going to eat healthy and be happy. I didn’t want to stress out my baby.
I remembered my conversation with Theo about having kids. I already knew how he felt. He didn’t want to be a father. Telling him would only cause him stress. I didn’t know what we were, but I knew I didn’t want him in my life because he felt like he had to be. I could be a mom on my own.
Been there, done that.
Chapter 29
Theo
My worries grew about Harper only wanting to hang out with me to help me before the festival. I kept telling myself she was busy. She had worked hard in the weeks leading up to the festival and needed time to recover. I couldn’t expect her to dote on me. She had a life. A busy life. We’d made no promises and no commitments.
I had texted her once and had gotten a very generic response. I had resisted the urge to continue hounding her until she invited me over. I knew I could always do the inviting, but I didn’t want to push her. I would wait a few more days before I texted again. If she didn’t reply, I would walk away. I wouldn’t be that guy. I wouldn’t pester her.
I downloaded the file Sawyer had sent. It contained images for the latest packaging for the new Pinkstonberry taffy. He was rushing it through. The crew was working overtime to try and fulfill a fraction of the orders that were still coming in.
I liked two of the ten. I quickly replied to the email to let him know which ones I thought were best, although I was going to trust whatever he thought was best. He knew the business. I knew candy. I had done my part. It was his turn.
I worked through the other business that needed my attention. It was just after noon, and I was virtually done for the day. I had no desire to go to the lab. I wasn’t feeling very inspired. I had resisted the urge for as long as I could. I had to know.
“Hi,” I greeted when Harper answered my call.
“Hey, you,” she said, her tone upbeat, but it felt off.
“How are you?” I asked. “Recuperating after the craziness?”
She laughed. “I am. The crazy keeps on coming. We got a lot of attention. Your speech has done a lot for us as well.”
“Good to hear. It’s been a little crazy here too.”
“That’s a good thing. Congrats.”
“Thank you.”
“I’ve been meaning to call you,” she said.
“I wanted to call you earlier, but I figured you would be pretty busy,” I told her.
“Are you free for dinner tonight?” she asked.
“I am. Will you let me take you out, celebrate our successes?”
She chuckled. “I would love that.”
“I can be there at five. Does that work?”
“Yes, perfect. Can you pick me up at my place?”
“What about Jace?” I asked.
“He’ll be with Kylie. It will just be the two of us.”
I smiled, liking the sound of that. I had missed her in more ways than one. “I’ll see you soon.”
I ended the call and immediately felt better about the situation. I had worried for nothing. I knew she’d been busy. I shouldn’t have freaked out and jumped to conclusions. I grabbed my stuff and left the office to head home. I showered and changed and hopped in the car. I was anxious to see her.
I got to her house a little early. I knocked on the door, expecting Jace to answer. I had missed him as well, which was a little strange. It was Harper that answered the door. I felt moderately disappointed but mostly excited to see her.
“Hi, let me grab my purse, and we can go,” she said.
Once again, I got the feeling something was off. I stepped inside the foyer and waited. She returned a few seconds later.
“Ready?”
“Yep.”
I drove to a restaurant I had looked up earlier. “Is this place okay?” I asked her.
“Sure. How did you know it was here?”
“Google,” I answered. “It had great reviews.”
She nodded but didn’t seem all that interested. “Great. Sounds good.”
We went inside. I started to order two
glasses of white wine, but she shook her head. I opted for two waters.
“Are you inundated with requests to head up more festivals?” I asked.
She smiled. “I am.”
“Are you going to do any of them?”
“I’m thinking about it. I’m not sure. Kylie and I have been weighing the options and are still mulling things over.”
“It will be more work,” I said.
“Yes, it will, and I’m not sure I want to spend all my time working. I don’t want to miss out on time with Jace.”
I nodded. “I get it.”
“Is that one of the reasons you don’t want a family?” she asked.
“What?” I asked with confusion.
“You told me before you didn’t want a family. You said you wouldn’t be a good dad. Why?”
I shrugged. “I don’t think I would be. I didn’t have a good example to learn from. I would make a terrible father.”
“Do you think you have to be like him?” she asked.
“I don’t know, but I do believe the ‘like father, like son’ saying. I wouldn’t know how to talk to a child or care for a child. I would be neglectful, just like my father was with me. I wouldn’t wish my father on anyone.”
“Do you think we’re all parents like our parents?” she asked.
I shrugged. “I think we learn our manners and how to act and behave from our parents.”
“Is that your reason for not wanting a child?”
I thought about it for a second. “I suppose that, and I wouldn’t know how to love a child. I don’t do hugs, and I don’t have the upbringing to know how to soothe a child’s fears or how to make the child feel loved. I know how important that is to a child. I know what I lacked as a child, and I wouldn’t want to do that to another child. I think some people are born nurturers. They have the instinct to love and care and protect. Then there are those of us who should never procreate. Let the bad parenting die with us.”
“That’s very morbid,” she snapped.
I shrugged. “I don’t think it’s morbid, but look at how many kids are in foster care or should be taken away from their parents. I think those people shouldn’t have had children. I know I wouldn’t be good at parenting, so I’ve just never really given it much thought.”
All About The Treats Page 18
