So Picrochole now fled in despair towards L’lle-Bouchard. On the road to Rivière his horse stumbled and fell; at which he was so incensed that he drew his sword and killed it in a fit of choler. Then, finding nobody to provide another mount, he tried to steal a miller’s donkey which was standing by, but the millers showered him with blows, relieved him of his clothing and tossed him a miserable smock to cover himself with.
Thus went that choleric wretch on his way. Having passed over the waters at Port-Huault, he related his misfortunes to an ancient sorceress who foretold that his kingdom would be restored to him when the Worricows come home.
What became of him afterwards nobody knows. Yet I have been told that he is at present a penny-labourer in Lyons, still as choleric as ever, always catechizing every stranger about the home-coming of the Worricows, in certain hope of being reinstated in his kingdom at their home-coming one day as that old woman’s prophecy had foretold.
After their withdrawal, Gargantua first of all mustered his men and found that few of them had died in battle, apart from some foot-soldiers from the troop of Captain Tolmère; Ponocrates too had taken a shot from an harquebus through his doublet. Gargantua then made his men refresh themselves, each in his unit, commanding the pay-masters to defray the cost of their meal and absolutely forbidding anyone to commit outrages in the town since it was his, and telling them to assemble after their meal in the square in front of the château, where they would receive six months’ pay.
Which was done.
In that same square he then gathered before him all the remnant of Picrochole’s men and addressed them as follows in the presence of all their princes and captains:
Gargantua’s address to the vanquished
CHAPTER 48
[Becomes Chapter 50.
A lesson of clemency, with Charles V, the Rex Catholicus, as its butt. The Emperor, whose title was the ‘Catholic King’, had nevertheless held the French King prisoner in Madrid after the Battle of Ρavia (1525), exacted a huge ransom and held the royal sons hostage until it was at least partly paid. The speech is a mixture of history and fantasy. La Tremouille defeated the Bretons at Saint-Aubin-du-Cormier in 1488 but showed mercy; La Joyeuse was allowed to withdraw when Charles VIII demolished the fortress of Parthernay in 1487. Hispaniola, however, never dreamt of invading France, and Canarre is a fantasy.
For Moses and Julius Caesar as examples of generous warriors who knew when to be severe, see Numbers 12:3 and Cicero, Pro Ligario, 38.]
‘As witnesses to the triumphs and victories they achieved, our fathers, forefathers and forebears, from time immemorial, have, by conviction and inclination, preferred trophies and monuments erected by their forgiveness in the hearts of the vanquished over any erected architecturally in the lands they had conquered: for they valued more highly the living memories of human beings earned by their liberality than the mute inscriptions of arches, columns and pyramids exposed to the depredations of the weather and the envy of every man.
‘You can well remember the clemency which they showed to the Bretons after the Battle of Saint-Aubin-du-Cormier and the destruction of Parthenay. You have heard of the kindly treatment of the natives of Hispaniola – and hearing of it, have marvelled – for they had pillaged, laid waste and ravaged the maritime frontiers of Les Sables-d’Olonne and Le Talmondais.
‘Our very heavens were full of praises and thanksgivings offered by you and your fathers when Alpharbal, King of Cararre, not satisfied with his good fortune, madly invaded the lands of Aunis, acting the pirate amongst all the islands of Armorica and the neighbouring regions. He was defeated and taken in a regular sea-fight by my father, to whom God be Protector and Guard.
‘Why! Where other kings and emperors – indeed those who style themselves Catholic – would have treated him wretchedly, harshly imprisoned him and outrageously ransomed him, he treated him with courtesy, kindly lodging him in his palace and, with unbelievable affability, sending him home under a safe-conduct, laden with gifts, laden with benevolence, laden with every token of friendship. And what was the result? Back in his domains, he summoned all the princes and estates of his realm, told them of the humane treatment he received from us, and prayed them to deliberate upon it to the end that, as the world had found in us an exemplar of magnanimous grace, it might find in them an exemplar of gracious magnanimity.
‘It was unanimously decreed that they would offer us their entire lands, domains and kingdom to treat as we wished. Alpharbal in person quickly returned with [nine thousand and thirty] eight great cargo-boats bearing not only the treasures of his House and royal lineage but of virtually all the country: for, as he was embarking to set sail with a West-nor’-easter, each one in the crowd cast into the boats gold, silver, rings, jewels, spices, drugs, sweet-smelling perfumes, parrots, pelicans, monkeys, civets, genets and porcupines. There was no mother’s son from a good family who did not cast into the boats something rare that he possessed.
‘Alpharbal once landed, he wished to kiss my father’s feet: the act was considered demeaning and not tolerated: he was embraced as an ally. Alpharbal offered him his presents. They were not accepted, as being excessive. He gave himself and his posterity to be slaves and willing serfs: that was deemed unjust and not accepted either.
‘By the decree of his States-General he ceded his kingdom and all his lands, offering the deeds of cession and conveyance, signed, sealed and ratified by all concerned. The offer was rejected outright and the documents tossed into the fire. The result was that my father began to weep for pity and shed copious tears as he considered the frank intentions and simplicity of the Canarrians, and by choice words and congruous maxims played down the good deed he had done, saying that treating them well had not cost him a button, and that if he had shown them any courtesy he was honour-bound to do so. But Alpharbal praised him all the more.
‘What was the outcome? Although we, as a ransom pushed to the extremity, could have tyrannically extorted twenty payments of one hundred thousand crowns, holding his elder sons hostage, they made themselves tributaries for ever, bound to send us every year two million crowns-worth of pure, twenty-four-carat gold.
‘The first year that sum was paid to us.
‘The following year they quite voluntarily paid twenty-three hundred thousand crowns; the third, twenty-six hundred thousand; the fourth, three millions: and they continue to increase it willingly by so much that we shall be constrained to forbid them to bring us any more.
‘Such is the nature of generosity: for Time, which diminishes and erodes all things, increases and augments generous deeds, since a good turn freely done to a man of reason grows and grows from noble thoughts and memories.
‘And so, not wishing to fall away in any manner from the generous disposition inherited from my forebears, I forgive you; I free you; I leave you frank and at liberty as before.
‘On top of that, as you go through the gates you will each receive three months’ pay to enable you to return to your homes and families; six hundred men-at-arms and eight thousand foot-soldiers, under the command of Alexander, my equerry, will conduct you home in safety so that you may not be ill-treated by the peasants.
‘May God be with you.
‘With all my heart I regret that Picrochole is not here, for I would have made him understand that this war was waged against my wishes, without any hope of increasing my lands or my reputation. But, seeing that he has now gone missing and that nobody knows how nor why he has disappeared, it is my will that his kingdom remain in its entirety with his son, who, being much too young (not vet fully five) shall have the older princes and scholars of his realm as regents and tutors.
‘But because a kingdom thus left to itself could easily be ruined if one did not restrain the covetousness and selfishness of its stewards, I will and command that Ponocrates be set above the regents as superintendent with all necessary authority, assiduously watching over the boy until he judges him apt to rule and reign by himself.
‘I b
ear in mind:
– that too slack and lax a readiness to pardon evil-doers is an occasion for them to do evil again even more lightly, from a pernicious confidence of being forgiven;
‘I bear in mind:
– that Moses, who was very meek, above all the men which were on the face of the earth, bitterly punished the mutinous and seditious amongst the people of Israel;
‘I bear in mind:
– that Julius Caesar, an emperor so gracious that Cicero said that his destiny was never more sovereign than that he could, nor his virtue ever better than that he would, save and pardon everyone, yet even he in certain cases rigorously punished the instigators of rebellion.
‘Following such examples, my will is that you hand over to me before you leave: first, that egregious Marquet who, through his vacuous arrogance, was the source and prime cause of this war; second, his fellow fouace-bakers, who failed to put a stop at once to his crack-brained folly; and finally all the counsellors, captains, officers and intimates of Picrochole, who encouraged, advocated and advised him to break across frontiers and molest us.’
How the victorious Gargantuists were rewarded after the battle
CHAPTER 49
[Becomes Chapter 51.
‘Nosocome’, hospital, is a French neologism taken by Rabelais straight from the Greek.
For the great banquet of Ahasuerus, see Esther 2:18 ff.
There is a riot of transient characters with Classical names: Tolmère (tolmeros, bold), Ithybole (ithubolos, straight-hitting), Acamas (acamas, indefatigable), Chironacte (cheironactes or cheironax, one who is a master with his hands; doubtless a skilled engineer), Sébaste (sebastos, venerable), Sophrone (sophronikos, moderate).
The names are Greek but the place-names are all in Rabelais’ pays.
The Royal printing press was established in the Louvre by François I. To work such presses required great physical effort: hence, to be made to work them forms a good, useful, Renaissance punishment.]
Once that address had been delivered by Gargantua, the seditious men he required were handed over, except for Spadas-sino, Squit and Little-trash who, six hours before the battle, had fled [one without stopping as far as the Col d’Agnello; another, as far as the Val de Vyre, and the third, without a glance behind or a pause for breath, as far as Logrono], and two fouace-bakers who had fallen in battle.
The only hurt which Gargantua did them was to require them to toil at the presses of his newly established printing-house.
He then had the dead buried with honour in the valley of the Noyrettes and in the fields at Brûlevieille. The injured, their wounds dressed, were treated in his great Nosocome.
After that he informed himself of the depredations suffered by the town, and by its inhabitants whom he compensated for all their losses against sworn affidavits. He further had a fort built there, stationing soldiers and look-outs in it so as the better to defend himself in the future against rash disturbances.
On departing he graciously thanked all the soldiers of his legions who had taken part in the defeat, sending them back to their barracks and garrisons for the winter, except some of the Decuman Legion, whose great deeds he had witnessed that day, and the Captains of each troop, with whom he set out towards Grandgousier. That good fellow was indescribably delighted when he saw them coming. He at once organized festivities: the most magnificent, the most lavish and the most delightful ever seen since the days of King Ahasuerus. As they all rose from the table, he distributed amongst them the valuable items of his sideboard: they weighed eighteen hundred thousand [and fourteen] golden besants, including large antique urns, huge pots, huge basins, huge cups, goblets, beakers, candlesticks, chalices, sauce-boats, vases, [dragée-dishes] and other such plate, all in solid gold, not to mention their jewels, enamel-work and embossings which – by any reckoning – exceeded the value of the metal itself.
In addition, he ordered that twelve hundred thousand crowns in cash be counted out from his exchequer for each one of them. On top of that he granted to each man in perpetuity (except for those who should die without heirs) whichever of his castles and adjacent lands they deemed most suitable. To Ponocrates he gave La Roche-Clermault; to Gymnaste, Le Couldray; to Eudemon, Montpensier; to Tolmère, Le Rivau; to Ithybole, Montsoreau; to Acamas, Candes; to Chironacte, Varennes; to Sébaste, Gravot; to Alexandre, Quinquenais; to Sophrone, Ligré; and so on for other of his strongholds.
How Gargantua caused the Abbey of Thélème to be built for the Monk
CHAPTER 50
[Becomes Chapter 52.
Thélème bears a name which means ‘will’, thelema, in New Testament Greek. It suggests free-will but also God’s will since the word occurs in the Lord’s Frayer: ‘Thy will (thelema) be done’. The new abbey is said to be established for Frère Jean and according to his fancy. He refuses the preferment, untypically citing a saying attributed to Socrates: ‘How can I rule others who can never rule myself?’
Apart from two jests which interrupt Gargantua’s flow, the Monk in fact contributes nothing whatsoever to the plan of his new Religious Order.
Rabelais’ serious pun mur, wall, and murmur, murmurings (of discontent) is transposed here to ‘railing’ and ‘railings’ (of discontent).
The play on ‘bit-of-stuff’ (a fancy woman, and cloth) freely transposes an easy pun: – t-elle, ‘she’, and toile, ‘cloth’ (both pronounced the same in Renaissance French).
When clerical celibacy is simply called chastity it risks undervaluing the chastity of marriage. Evangelicals, including Erasmus, and the reformers were fervent champions of matrimony, but none make it compulsory. Here Rabelais just stops short of doing so. In the context of Christian freedom and courtly evangelism, wealth and liberty replace poverty and obedience in this noble abbey. Marriage is not compulsory but clearly assumed as the way of living happily ever after.
The construction of the Abbey is described in the next chapter; in it six and its composites play a large part. Six (according to Renaissance mystical mathematics) is favourable to matrimony and harmony.]
Only the Monk was still to be provided for. Gargantua wanted to make him abbot of Seuilly, but he turned it down. He then wished to grant him the Abbey of Bourgueil or the Abbey of Saint-Florent, whichever he preferred (or both if they took his fancy).
But the Monk’s reply was absolute: of monks he wanted neither charge nor governance. ‘For,’ he said, ‘how can I govern others who can never govern myself? But if you deem that I have done you any welcome service and may do so again in the future, allow me to found an abbey to my own devising.’
The request was pleasing to Gargantua, who offered him all his lands at Thélème, two leagues from the great forest of Port-Huault beside the Loire. He then begged Gargantua to establish his Order flat contrary to all others.
‘First, then,’ said Gargantua, ‘since all other abbeys are fearsomely fenced in, no walls or railings are ever to be built around it.’
‘That’s right,’ said the Monk. ‘Railings at the back and railings at the front produce envy, railings and rival conspiracies.’
‘To go on,’ said Gargantua: ‘seeing that in certain convents in our world the practice is to clean the places passed through by any women who come in – decent women, I mean, and modest – here it was decreed that, should any monk or nun happen to come in, they would scour clean all the places they might have passed through.
‘And because in the religious Orders of our world everything is circumscribed, delimited and ruled by Hours, it was decreed that not one clock nor sundial should be there, but that all their activities should be arranged according to whatever was fit or opportune; for Gargantua used to say that the greatest waste of time that he knew was to watch the clock – what good ever came of it? – and that there was no greater lunacy in the world than to rule your life by the sound of a bell and not according to the dictates of good sense and intelligence.
‘Item: because in those days no women were put into convents unless the
y were one-eyed, lame, hunch-backed, ugly, askew, mad, backward, deformed or defective, nor men unless they were runny-nosed, ill-born, daft and a burden on their family…’
– ‘Apropos,’ said the Monk, ‘if a bit-of-stuff’s neither good nor fair, what is to be done?’
‘Make her into a nun,’ said Gargantua.
‘Yes,’ said the Monk: ‘or into shirts…’ –
‘… it was ordained that no women would be accepted here unless they were beautiful, well formed and well endowed by Nature; and no men, unless handsome, well formed, and well endowed by Nature.
‘Item: because men never went into convents of women except furtively and secretly, it was declared that here there would be no women except with men; no men, except with women.
‘Item: because men and women, once professed after a year’s probation, are obliged and forced to remain there for ever their whole life through, it was laid down that both the men and women professed here could leave openly and definitively as they saw fit.
‘Item: because the Religious normally make three vows: namely of chastity, poverty and obedience, there the constitutions stated that all could marry, and everyone should be rich and live in freedom. As regards the legal age, women were to be admitted between ten and fifteen; men, between twelve and eighteen.’
How the Abbey of the Thelemites was built and endowed
CHAPTER 51
[Becomes Chapter 53.
Six and its multiples play their part in the construction. The Abbey is placed in Rabelais’ pays, but the names of the towers are all Greek: Arctice, north; Calaër, fine air; Anatole, east; Mesembrine, southern; Hesperie, western, and Cryère, icy.
The chapels mentioned are perhaps oratories, but the word had a wide range of meanings, not all religious. The description is not a blueprint: even lavatories are lacking.]
Gargantua and Pantagruel Page 38
