“Do ye?” Conner asked again.
Caelen looked down at the boy for a long moment before answering. “Aye, I do,” he admitted, his voice barely a whisper.
“Ye do?”
“Aye, I do. Now, mayhap ye should eat somethin’, lad. Yer wastin’ away,” he said, hoping the boy would get down and go back to his own seat.
“Aye, Conner,” Fiona said. “I think mayhap ye should eat.”
Caelen was glad to know her muteness was not permanent.
“What be ye afraid of?” Conner asked.
Besides children, black bears and me grandminny? Caelen thought mayhap this was not the best time to admit the whole truth. “I be afraid of children goin’ hungry.”
Conner scrunched his little brow and thought for a long moment. “Me no’ eatin’ makes ye afraid?”
“Aye,” Caelen told him. “Because if ye do no’ eat, ye’ll no’ grow to be big and strong.”
Conner thought on it a bit longer. “And I’ll no’ be able to help defend against bad men.”
“Aye,” Caelen said, much relieved that his lie helped the child to work through the matter on his own.
Conner finally slid from Caelen’s knee and went back to his seat. While he didn’t eat as much as either Caelen or Fiona thought he should, just seeing him put something into his stomach made each of them quite happy. Progress, no matter how small, was a very good thing.
Full and wanting to get a start on her day, Fiona drank down the last of her cider and pushed herself away from the table. “Caelen,” she said as she smiled at him adoringly. “Do ye have time to escort me back to our bedchamber before ye go on yer hunt?”
For a moment, he looked quite leery, almost as if he were fearful she’d want to give him a nice send-off once they reached their bedchamber.
Caelen gave a quick nod, stood and helped her to her feet. She leaned in and kissed him on his cheek. “I love ye, Caelen McDunnah.”
He smiled down at her. “I do no’ think I’ll ever tire of hearin’ ye say that, Fiona.”
As they walked past her brothers, William said, “Do ye need an hour or two?”
Fiona thumped him on the back of his head and laughed. “Watch yer tongue, brother. I may no’ be yer chief now, but I still be yer sister.”
Brodie was just entering the room as Caelen and Fiona were stepping away from the dais. Right behind him was Nola. She looked as happy as Brodie, which was not at all.
“I do no’ need ye fashin’ over me, Nola,” Brodie seethed.
“Someone needs to, ye stubborn man,” Nola told him.
“Me leg be fine.”
Nola looked as though she didn’t believe him and told him as much.
“What be the matter?” Fiona asked, as she and Caelen met them in the middle of the gathering room.
Brodie was clenching his jaw again, a sure sign that he was doing his best to control his temper. He started to answer Fiona when Nola cut him short.
“He will no’ listen to me,” Nola said. “He refuses to rest.”
“I’ve rested enough fer ten lifetimes, woman!” Brodie ground out.
Fiona interjected her own thoughts on the matter. “Brodie, I believe Nola only has yer best interests at heart,” she told him before turning to speak directly to Nola. “But Nola, ye must ken that me brother is young, in good health, and quite stubborn. He’ll lose what is left of his mind if we force him to lie abed all the day long. His limp is no’ nearly as bad as it was.”
Brodie looked elated to finally have someone on his side. Nola looked deflated.
“But Brodie, it would no’ hurt ye to take it just a wee easy. Mayhap ye could take a few moments to rest yer leg throughout the day. Do no’ push yerself too hard yet.” She hoped that would appease each of them.
Brodie cast a sidelong glance at Nola. “Verra well, I shall take yer advice, Fi.”
Fiona hadn’t truly needed Caelen to escort her anywhere. She simply wanted a moment alone with him. Once inside their bedchamber, Fiona wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head against his chest.
“Thank ye, Caelen,” she murmured.
“Fer what?” he asked as he caressed her arms with his hands.
“Fer bein’ so kind to Conner.”
“I was no’ aware I was bein’ kind,” he said.
Fiona smiled into his chest and began to wish they could climb back into their bed. “Well, it be verra kind of ye to take him huntin’.”
Caelen lifted her chin with his index finger. “Fiona, I’ve seen how everyone treads so softly around Conner and Maggie, treatin’ them as if they were skittish new foals or made of glass. That be the worst thing ye can do.”
Her brow scrunched into a line of confusion. “What do ye mean? We’re simply bein’ kind after all they’ve gone through.”
“Aye, they need kindness and a gentle hand, to let them ken they be no’ alone. But they also need people to remind them that there still be rules. To treat them so delicately, to never tell them nay or to never give them boundaries, well, ye’ll be raisin’ a spoiled child who will grow into a spoiled adult.”
He made perfectly good sense. “Fer someone who be afraid of children, ye understand them quite well.”
9
Fiona and Isabelle had been helping in the kitchen while their men had taken Conner hunting. Maggie and Burunild sat side by side on stools in front of the large hearth. While Maggie looked far away and distant, Burunild regaled everyone with stories of Caelen’s youth. Fiona enjoyed learning what her husband had been like as a boy. Apparently, he’d always been a serious sort, even as a small boy. Isabelle peeled vegetables and listened intently. Fiona kneaded bread that their cook, Rod McPherson, would bake on the morrow.
“’Twas as if he had been born with the weight of the world on his shoulders,” Burunild explained. “But there were times when ye’d swear he did no’ own a lick of brains.”
Fiona held back her thought that there were times now when she thought the same thing. Such as the day he arrived at her keep and kidnapped her.
As Burunild began to tell yet another story, the door to the kitchen burst open. Conner bounded in holding a string of rabbits in one hand. Caelen and William were not far behind.
“Four of ‘em!” he exclaimed as he raced into the kitchens, raising his arm to show everyone. “I got four of ‘em!”
Rod gave an approving nod. “Those will make a fine rabbit stew, lad.”
Conner beamed proudly as he rushed to his sister and held the rabbits in front of her face. “See, Maggie? I caught four rabbits. Mr. McPherson will make rabbit stew. Ye like rabbit stew, Maggie.”
Maggie looked at the rabbits and gave a barely perceptible nod of her head. Fiona couldn’t tell if her actions were intentional or simply automatic. She watched as Conner leaned in and whispered something into Maggie’s ear, to which Maggie made no outward appearing response.
“Ye caught them all yerself, lad?” Burunild asked him.
“Aye, I did, usin’ snares.”
“Right fine rabbits,” Burunild told him as she gave him a pat on his head.
“Burunild is right, Conner,” Fiona praised him. “With ye in our keep, we shall never go hungry.”
Conner smiled and nodded his head. “Caelen and William said the same thing.”
“What say ye give those rabbits to Rod,” William told Conner.
Conner handed the rabbits over to Rod, who took them outside to skin.
“Go wash yer hands, now lad,” Isabelle told Conner. “And ye as well,” she said, directing her comment to Caelen and William. “Yer hands be filthy.”
William smiled rather devilishly, raised his hands and wriggled his fingers in front of Isabelle’s face. “Kiss me first,” he said.
“Nay!” Isabelle exclaimed as she threw a wet cloth at his face. “Ye smell!”
William feigned hurt feelings, but only long enough for Isabelle to let her guard down. Soon, William was chasing Isabelle around the k
itchen, begging for a kiss. Isabelle pretended to be disgusted, all the while squealing with delight.
Caelen stared at them as if they’d lost their minds. As he watched, he leaned in sideways and whispered into Fiona’s ear. “Do they always behave like this?”
Fiona laughed as she nudged him playfully with her elbow. “They be young and in love, Caelen.”
Caelen’s brow furrowed. “Must be a McPherson behavior, fer the McDunnahs do no’ run around cacklin’ like children.”
“That be because their chief behaves so seriously all the time,” Fiona replied.
He gave her a glare of reproach. “Are ye sayin’ I do no’ ken how to have fun?”
Fiona nodded. “Aye, that be what I’m sayin’.”
A mischievous grin played out on his face. “If memory serves me correctly, we had a wee bit of fun just this morn.”
Fiona could not hide her amusement and giggled. “Aye, that was fun. Ye do know how to have fun behind closed doors. But when there be people around, yer as serious as a priest.” With that, she touched the tip of his nose with a flour-covered finger. He didn’t know that his nose was now covered in flour.
“I prefer to have me fun alone with ye. I do no’ need to display me happiness fer the whole world to see.”
Isabelle squealed with delight when William finally caught her. They were in the corner of the kitchen, William’s big arms wrapped around his tiny wife’s waist. “Kiss me and I’ll let ye go,” he said as she pretended to struggle against him.
“That’s what ye said last time, and now I be carryin’ yer babe.”
The entire room fell silent.
“What did ye say?” William asked, looking confused as well as surprised.
From the expression on her face, she hadn’t meant to tell him just yet. “Och! I was goin’ to tell ye tonight, after the evenin’ meal, William.”
William went as white as a sheet and looked as though he were about to pass out. He struggled to get words out. “Are ye certain?” he asked, beyond surprised with the news.
Isabelle drew in her bottom lip and nodded. “Aye, I saw the midwife this morn. Ye’ll be a da come spring.”
It took only a moment for William to regain his composure. He picked Isabelle up and spun her around the kitchen. “I canna believe it! A babe!”
Burunild cackled and clapped her hands. “A babe be always a good thing, aye?” she said as she patted Maggie on her shoulder.
Caelen smiled in spite of himself. He was happy for William and Isabelle, but deep down, he was glad it was the two of them celebrating and not him and Fiona.
While the happy couple kissed and hugged and chattered away, Caelen looked at his own sweet wife. Quietly, she looked on at her brother and sister-in-law. Absentmindedly, her hand went to her stomach.
Though she had told him before that she had long ago resigned herself to the fact that she would never have a child of her own and that it no longer mattered, her eyes told a different story.
Fiona was sincerely happy for her brother and sister-in-law. There was no doubt that they would make good parents and their child would grow up surrounded by love and generosity. She did not begrudge either of them this happy moment in their lives. Still, it was growing more and more difficult for her to paint on a happy face and congratulate one woman after another. Pangs of regret were getting more difficult to hide.
But this was William and Isabelle’s moment to celebrate, not her moment to grieve. She wiped her hands on her apron and went to hug each of them. “I be so verra happy fer ye,” she said as she kissed Isabelle’s cheek. “I pray it be a boy, fer if it be a girl, she’ll never ken a moment’s peace with William as her father.”
William dismissed the notion. “Girl children need extra protection. There be no harm in seein’ yer children safe.”
Fiona and Isabelle exchanged knowing smiles. “If it be a girl, I shall happily teach her how to defend herself,” Fiona remarked. “And how to sneak away without her da knowin’.”
“Ye’ll do no such thing, Fiona,” William said, growing quite serious. “I’ll make sure she has five guards with her at all times.”
Fiona and Isabelle rolled their eyes. “I pray fer yer sake it be a boy,” Fiona told Isabelle.
Using her walking stick, Burunild stood up. “Maggie, could ye help yer auld grandminny to her room?”
Maggie slid from the stool and stood beside Burunild. With her walking stick in one hand, Burunild placed her other on the little girl’s shoulder. “Ye see that big lout over there?” Burunild asked as she pointed to Caelen.
Caelen winced, rolled his eyes and shook his head.
“Well, he be me grandson,” she said as they headed out of the kitchens. “He was the sweetest little bairn ye ever saw.”
Caelen was taken aback by his grandminny’s comment and even smiled over it quite proudly.
Burunild sighed heavily then. “I just do no’ ken what happened when he grew up.”
Fiona tried to cover her laugh with her fingertips. Caelen looked at her askance. “See? I told ye she was a mean auld woman.”
Throughout the remainder of the afternoon Fiona was quiet. During the evening meal, she half-heartedly listened whilst Isabelle and Mairi chatted on about the different stages of pregnancy.
Fiona knew them all, of course, though not through firsthand experience. Nay, it came from years of listening to other women talking about the joys and worries of being with child. It also came from helping them bring one babe after another into this world, or, sadly enough, helping them through miscarriages.
Fiona knew she was not the only barren woman in her clan. Nay, they weren’t known for being the most fertile of women. Most McPherson women were blessed with only one or two children. There were rare exceptions of course, her mother being one of the few to be blessed with four children. The good majority of families here were small and at least five other women in her clan had never been blessed with children.
Therefore, any woman lucky enough to get with child was cause for celebration.
Fiona tried, she sincerely did, to put on a happy face and raise her glass for one toast after another in honor of Isabelle’s announcement. It wasn’t like Fiona to be this melancholy. Mayhap it was due to the fact that she was now married and her perspective had changed.
“Are ye well, lady wife?” Caelen asked thoughtfully.
She shook away the depressing thoughts and offered him a smile. “Aye, I be well. Just verra tired.” It wasn’t a complete lie for she did feel rather weary.
“Let us get ye to bed then,” he said as he pushed away from the table and took her hand.
He hadn’t given her an opportunity to argue, not that she would have. She took his hand in hers and stood. “Thank ye, Caelen.”
They bid everyone at the table a good night and left the dais. On their way out, they paused at the table where Burunild and Nola sat chatting on about one thing or another.
“Good night to ye, Grandminny,” Caelen said as he gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. Fiona leaned over and kissed Burunild’s cheek.
“Ye be off to bed so early?” she asked before giving Nola a playful nudge as if to say I ken what they’ll be doin’ the moment they get behind closed doors.
Fiona smiled adoringly at the auld woman. “Aye, we are. I be verra tired.”
A bright smile lit in Burunild’s eyes. “Och! Mayhap ye’ll be next to announce yer with child, aye?”
Fiona’s smile faded away. She could feel the tears forming but held them at bay. “Mayhap, Burunild,” she said as she hurriedly left the table.
10
The following morning, Fiona and Caelen were the last to arrive to break their fast. All three of Fiona’s brothers, along with their respective families, including Conner and Maggie, were already seated and eating when they made their way up to the dais.
It did Fiona’s heart good to see Conner eating and chatting away with William. Maggie actually made eye contact with her, if e
ven for a brief moment.
The smell of fresh bread wafted through the air and made Fiona’s mouth water. She had not eaten much the night before and now found herself quite hungry. Caelen led her to her seat and made sure she was comfortable before sitting down beside her.
“How do ye fare this morn?” Collin asked as he passed a plate of bread to Fiona.
“Better,” she said as she took two slices of bread and put them on her trencher.
“Good,” he said. “The McKenzie will be arrivin’ later today. His whisky be ready.”
“And how will he be payin’ fer it this time?” Fiona asked.
“Coin and barley,” Collin said.
Fiona slathered butter and honey on her bread. “Well, make sure he gives ye the coin this time.”
Collin chuckled and leaned back in his seat. “Would ye like to attend the meetin’ to make certain I do things as ye’d do them?”
Fiona stopped buttering her bread to look at him. She saw the playfulness in his eyes. “Mayhap I should, what with ye bein’ new at bein’ chief.”
Collin threw his head back and laughed, his shoulders shaking. “Aye, mayhap ye should.”
Fiona took a bite of her buttered bread. It did not taste nearly as good as it smelled. Mayhap ’twas from one of the batches Isabelle had made. She put the bread down and was about to help herself to eggs, when her attention was drawn to a commotion at the back of the room. ’Twas Alyse, along with her two children.
Alyse appeared to be quite upset over something. She looked about the room and when she spotted Fiona, she headed towards her.
Fiona pushed away from the table and met her halfway. Tears streamed down Alyse’s face. Upon closer inspection, Fiona could see a red mark along her cheek. The poor woman looked unmistakably distraught.
“Alyse!” Fiona exclaimed. “What has happened?”
“’Tis Bhruic,” Alyse sobbed, unable to say much more.
Isabelle, Caelen and Collin had followed Fiona and now stood behind her. “What happened to yer face?” Isabelle asked.
Caelen's Wife, Book Three Page 7
