by Jewel E. Ann
“Both of your best friends?” Ling’s head canted to the side.
“Yes. Lila has been my best friend since … well, forever. We met her fiancé, Graham, in college.” I grinned. “Lila couldn’t stand Graham in college, but I bonded with him over sports. We’d bet on sports, watch all the games, and call each other to discuss players, recruits, and trades. We still do. Lila has no interest in sports. Had I not stayed friends with Graham all these years, they wouldn’t be together. Graham grew up while Lila traveled after college. I guess timing is everything.”
“You have a lot invested in this relationship.” Victor raised his brows.
“I suppose I do. When they fight, I hate taking sides.”
“But you always take Lila’s side.” Ronin kissed my shoulder.
“I do. Even when she’s wrong. Graham knows I will always choose her. He also knows I’ll always be his advocate, working hard to make peace between them. Graham and his family have done so much for me and my family over the years. They paid for a lot of my dad’s medical treatment when his kidneys started to fail. They made sure my parents didn’t lose their home during that time. And two years ago, when the landlord of my building decided to not renew my lease because he wanted to tear down the building to put up a hotel, Graham’s family bought the building just so I could keep my shop. A terrible financial decision for them, but Graham always has my back.”
“I can’t wait to see your shop.” Ling smiled.
Ronin cleared his throat. “Don’t expect her to show you how she makes her products. There are too many proprietary secrets.”
“Not true.” I glanced back, giving Ronin a grin that was also a scowl. He knew the reason he’d never seen me make a full batch of soap was because he was responsible for too many ruined batches.
My lover thought there was time for sex between pouring layers of soap.
There wasn’t.
So … I banned him from my lab.
I smiled, batting my eyelashes to soften the blow about their child. “Your son touches too many things in my lab. However, I would love to show you my shop and how I make my products.”
“Let’s eat.” Ronin lifted me from his lap, whispering in my ear, “I touch you in your lab.”
I grinned, lifting my hand to his head and sliding my fingers through his hair as he nipped at my ear. His parents eyed us, and their expressions said it all. They liked what they saw. I passed the test. It would have crushed me to have my parents love Ronin so much and then feel any less adoration toward me from his parents.
We ate.
We laughed.
I fell deeper in love with Ronin by falling in love with his parents. He fit into my life. I fit into his life.
He never mentioned my mother’s cancer diagnosis, and I appreciated him leaving that to me. It was still raw. When I dwelled on it, tears rushed to the surface. However, it was a chance I took as we settled back into the living room to enjoy hot drinks by the fire after dinner.
“Listen … I want to let you know that my mother was recently diagnosed with breast cancer.”
Concern etched Ling’s and Victor’s faces.
Forcing a smile, I took a deep breath. “It will be fine. My mother is very strong, both physically and mentally. However, my time will be divided in the coming months between her, my shop, and the wedding. If you could indulge Ronin by skiing with him, that would be fantastic. I fear my schedule won’t allow much time on the slopes.”
“Oh …” Victor nodded. “That can be arranged. Now his text makes sense.”
“His text?” I canted my head.
“It’s late …” Ronin tried to stand, but I leaned back into his chest as we shared the recliner, attempting to pin him to it with my weight.
Victor’s gaze slid to Ronin for a second.
“Don’t look at him.” I moved my head to block the line of sight between the two men.
Victor eyed Ling. “He asked us to refrain from suggesting you go skiing with us. I assumed it was because you weren’t a skier, which surprised me since you live in Aspen. I couldn’t imagine Ronin dating someone who didn’t ski. Now I realize it’s because of your mom.” His eyes narrowed. “Correct?”
I slid off Ronin’s lap and stood between the sofa and the recliner, next to the coffee table. Victor and Ling gave me their attention, but after a few seconds, confusion floated across their faces. Since … I didn’t say anything.
What was there to say?
I opened my mouth to defend myself, but no one was attacking me. Why get defensive?
That insanely-jealous-woman-at-the-bar-with-karaoke-Vanessa wasn’t me. Well, she was me. She was me before I knew for sure that Ronin loved me. But right then, in front of his parents, I knew. Vanessa wasn’t my competition. I’d won.
He loved me.
This is me. Take it or leave it.
I smiled, but before I could say my truth, Ronin’s hand cuffed my wrist as he stood and turned me toward him, putting my back to his parents. “Evelyn is a horrific skier, but she tries.” He slid his hands along my neck to keep me focused on him. “It doesn’t matter. She’s going to marry me. She said as much the day we met.”
It took me three weeks to learn how to ride a bike, while my friends did it in three minutes. However, it took less than a second to fall in love with this man. I knew this because I couldn’t remember the moment I fell for him which meant … I had loved him forever. Probably in a parallel universe.
Déjà vu. Destiny. Kismet. Serendipity.
They were all just fancy names for justifying fate when in actuality we had met before. We fell in love in a different world. I got to live more than one life with this man. That was some cool shit. And I believed that cool shit with complete conviction.
“Roe …” I whispered. Even if I could play in my head the mind-numbing explanation that was us, the fact that he didn’t analyze us, where we met, how quickly we fell in love, and the improbable sanity of it all … was enough to drive a lump into my throat.
He invited me into his life … with witnesses. It didn’t get any more real than that.
He smiled.
That was it. Ronin smiled at me. One look was all it took. One look was all it ever took. We were so much greater than any words.
“Evelyn’s going to marry me. Maybe not until her mom is better. Maybe not until Lila and Graham are married. But she’s going to marry me. She’s going to have my babies.”
How did he make it so public and incredibly intimate at the same time?
“Right, Evie?” he whispered.
An unexplainable warmth wrapped around my body.
“Probably.” I smiled.
“Probably …” he echoed just before kissing me.
CHAPTER TEN
Cancer.
The holidays.
Wedding mania.
Thanks to Ronin and his parents, I remained in one piece with Christmas a week away and the wedding just on the other side of the new year. Guilt plagued me. I just wanted the wedding to be done.
Over.
Photos and memories tucked away for anniversaries and sharing with their children.
Terrible. Just terrible of me.
My best friends’ big day felt like an obstacle, not a joyous event. I couldn’t help it. My mom had been so sick from the chemo, even with antiemetic medications. It wore on my dad to see her hit the extreme lows. It was painful to witness. We knew he replayed in his mind the events that led to the death of his first love. Jumping from chemo vomiting to bridesmaids’ luncheons was almost too much to balance.
“Only one of your teams won.”
I smirked, wiping down the counters to my lab as a familiar voice bragged behind me. “I’ve been distracted.”
“Nope. You don’t get to play the cancer card. Only your mom can play that card.”
Rolling my eyes, I turned toward Graham. He was in Aspen to do a little playing of his own on the slopes, hence the absence of his tailored suit. Casual Graha
m still dressed in obnoxiously expensive clothes, but they at least reminded me of the guy I knew in college—dark jeans and a white tee, which probably cost more than I made at my shop on any given day, and a gray button-down under his unzipped black ski jacket and white scarf.
His hair danced out of control like he ran short on gel. I always liked messy-haired Graham, a rare sighting. Apparently, future political candidates required a perceived perfection right down to the hair on their heads.
“Thank you.” I had a million feisty comebacks to give him about my poor performance on picking winning teams that year and my “playing the cancer card.” However, I didn’t speak them because Graham did what he’d always done—showed up for me in the biggest way imaginable.
Paying for medical bills before they ever reached my parents’ mailbox.
Arranging my transportation via private jet from Denver to Aspen several times a week.
And this … talking about sports when it was the last thing on my mind, but knowing it was what I needed.
I dropped the rag while dissolving the distance between us. My arms slid under his jacket and around his warm torso, my cheek finding the familiar comfort of his chest.
“Thank you,” I repeated on a long sigh. “Thank you for being my favorite Graham Cracker.”
“How’s she doing?” He returned the embrace and kissed the top of my head.
“She hates the chemo. Wants to just stop it, but she knows it’s her best chance at beating this. And she’d rather deal with the physical pain than let my dad think for one second that she’s giving up.” I stepped back, finding a small smile to give Graham as I leaned against the counter with my hands resting on the edge of it. “How’s Lila? I left a message with her earlier, but I haven’t heard back from her.”
Graham twisted his lips and scratched his chin, brow a bit furrowed. “Hmm … I wouldn’t know. She was supposed to go to lunch with my mom and Aunt Charlotte, but she canceled because of a business meeting.”
I couldn’t read his expression, so I cocked my head and crossed my arms over my chest. “Are you bothered by that?”
He chewed on the inside of his cheek for a few seconds. “I let it slide today.”
“W-what?” I coughed on a laugh. “Let it slide?”
“We’re not married yet. She should have rescheduled the meeting, so she didn’t leave my mom and Charlotte waiting for her at the tea room.”
“Well, I’m sure that means she was running too late to make it at all. And I’m sure she felt bad. But Lila is driven. She’s good at her job. You said that’s one of the reasons you fell in love with her. It doesn’t make sense that you’re acting like she will have to give that up when you get married.”
“I’m not saying she’ll have to give it up. It just won’t be able to be her priority. Today, she made it her priority. When we’re married … she’ll have to reschedule meetings instead of missing luncheons with important people.”
“It was your mom and aunt. I’m not implying they’re not important, but—”
“Then what the fuck are you implying?”
Whoa!
My jaw hung in the air for a few moments. What was up with him? We used to laugh at his mom and Aunt Charlotte, poking fun at their “rough lives” of luncheons and how often they scolded grounds keepers for cutting the hedge shrubs a half inch too short. Graham said he would take his place in the family business, but never be cut-throat like his dad. And he wanted to marry Lila because she wasn’t a lunch-at-the-tea-room kind of girl.
Comebacks lined up on the tip of my tongue, each one fighting to be heard first. I didn’t let them speak. The Porters owned me and my family. Even if they never said the actual words, I knew the score.
The Taylors: nothing. The Porters: everything.
“I’m implying that Lila is under a lot of stress, and since you haven’t spoken directly with her, maybe you should give her the benefit of the doubt. She loves your mom and Aunt Charlotte.”
Truth.
Lila made a shocking transformation—hating all the Porters and everything they stood for when we were in college, to embracing their family because she fell in love with Graham. She was a better woman than I was. If they hadn’t owned my family, I would not have felt the need to have lunch with his mom and aunt just because Graham and I were friends. Lucky for me … Ronin’s mom, Ling, was amazing, and I loved having lunch with her any day.
“Sorry.” Graham exhaled, dropping his gaze to his feet. “I didn’t mean to snap at you. Maybe I’m feeling my own wedding stress too.”
“Go home. Take Lila to dinner. Remember all the reasons you begged me to make her give you a chance.” Boy oh boy … did he ever beg—promises of treating her like royalty, a priceless piece of art, making it his life’s goal to make sure she was always happy. Of course, all of this came after I told him she would never change her mind about him, no matter how many good words I put in on his behalf. My lack of confidence in his wooing capabilities seemed to feed his cause.
However, even if I didn’t say it to his financially generous face, I had every reason to be mad at him for treating Lila like a property that he was on the verge of purchasing. Newsflash, women didn’t have to wear pantyhose anymore or fight for their right to vote. We sure as hell didn’t have to give up our careers just because a guy put a ring on our finger. I didn’t care if he ran for president. His life and career would never be more important than hers.
He straightened his scarf. “I didn’t beg you. I didn’t need your help.”
I gasped, head jerking back. He knew that was bullshit.
Graham waved his hand as if to avert my reaction or attack I started to mount in my head.
“Anyway … she did buy some new lingerie. I suppose dinner would be a fair trade.”
I laced my fingers behind my neck to keep from wrapping them around his neck. “Screw you, Graham Porter. I’m taking my friend back. If dinner requires her to dress in silk and spread her legs for you, then you don’t deserve her. Go buy yourself a whore for the night.”
“Jesus, Evelyn … I’m kidding.” He held up his hands in surrender.
Rubbing my lips together, I shrugged. “So am I.”
“Really?” He narrowed his eyes. “Because it didn’t sound like you were kidding.”
“Were you kidding, Graham? Really?”
There it was … the crux of our friendship. He was marrying my best friend, and my instinct to protect her was fierce. He begged me for help, whether he cared to admit it or not. So I begged Lila to give him a chance. And now they were getting married. I felt like their happiness would always fall back on me, the glue that stuck them together. Unfortunately, I felt stuck in the middle, wondering if I messed up.
He slid on his gloves and smirked. “Of course, I’m kidding. I don’t ask her to spread her legs. I usually just bend her over a chair.”
No. No. NO! He did not say that.
Honestly … I had no comeback to that, but I hoped I could get the awful image it evoked to vanish from my head and never return.
“I didn’t come here to talk about Lila.”
I returned to my cleaning tasks. “I can’t talk sports. My mind isn’t there right now.”
“Ronin saved a man’s life today.”
“What?” I glanced over my shoulder, not sure I heard him correctly.
“We were waiting for a table at the lodge. An older guy behind us collapsed. Stopped breathing. Ronin did CPR until the ambulance arrived. I think he saved the guy.”
“He’s a paramedic.”
Graham gave me an eye roll. “I know. It was just weird to see him in action. He didn’t hesitate. But then he couldn’t stay for lunch. Said he didn’t feel well. Have you heard from him? He didn’t exactly look well either.”
“No … I haven’t.” I plucked my phone from the opposite counter. No missed calls. No texts from Ronin.
“I’m sure he’s fine. Probably just the effects of the adrenaline. I just thought I�
��d mention it before heading back to Denver. And in spite of what you think, I also just wanted to say hi to my best friend.”
My head inched side to side. “I’m not your best friend. Heath, Eric, Wade … they’re your best buds. I’m just your cupid.”
“Heath, Eric, and Wade are functional idiots. You are my best friend. And it has nothing to do with Lila. We were friends before Lila would even look at me, and we will be friends when both Lila and Ronin leave us for better human beings.”
“Fuck you.” I chuckled as he pulled me in for one last hug.
“I’m nearly married. Our fucking days are over, Evie. Sorry.”
I giggled. Somehow, we made it. After the epic mistake of thinking we could be more than friends, we managed to persevere. The fact that we immediately joked about it, like the “oops” that it was, was what held our friendship together. And maybe … just maybe our drunken intimacy actually cemented our friendship forever. We knew every detail about each other. No secrets. All had been bared.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
After several failed attempts at contacting Ronin, I skipped out early and left Sophie to close up shop. When I arrived home, Ronin’s Outback wasn’t parked in the drive, so I headed straight to his place.
“Roe?” I whispered, tiptoeing into his bedroom. He rarely slept at his place. Yet, there he was in the dark, curled into a fetal position on the mattress, still on the floor.
“Go home, babe. I don’t want you to get sick,” he said in a strained voice.
“I want to help.” I sat on the edge of the mattress, the light from the hallway giving me a slight glimpse of his twisted face.
“You can’t.” His hand, pressed flat to his chest, curled into a fist as he swallowed hard. Sweat beaded along his brow while his shallow breaths chased one another. “Please … please go, Evie. AHHH!”
I jumped as his hands clawed at his scalp and his back arched. My heart pummeled my ribcage, and tears burned my eyes. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t a normal pain, even for some virus or other bug he might have picked up.
“Roe …” The tears fell fast and hard as my hand hovered over his arm, too afraid to touch him and cause him anymore pain as his body thrashed. “Roe, you’re scaring me. I … I don’t know what to do. What hurts? T-tell me w-what to do!”
