by Brenda Novak
Reagan twisted around. Lorelei had entered the kitchen in a robe.
“Great. Look what Lucy’s drawn.”
“I like it,” she said.
“That’s me,” Reagan pointed out.
Lorelei paused at the table to take a closer look. “Of course. I recognized you instantly.”
When Lorelei managed to keep a straight face, Reagan arched her eyebrows. “Oh, yeah? Well, this is you. You have ice cream on your face.”
They exchanged a grin. Then Lorelei kissed her daughter’s head and moved to the counter to pour herself a cup of coffee. “Where’s Serenity?”
“Still sleeping, I guess. We haven’t heard from her.”
“I don’t blame her. I was out in seconds, could’ve slept all day.”
“Then you should’ve stayed in bed. We were doing okay down here.”
“I didn’t want to strand you for too long. Not when you were doing such a nice thing.” She used the cup in her hand to indicate the computer. “What have you been doing while Lucy draws? Getting caught up on work?”
Just being reminded of her resignation made Reagan’s stomach churn again. “Not exactly.” She angled her computer so Lorelei could read the subject line.
“Oh. I see.” Suddenly very serious, she sat down next to Reagan. “How are you feeling about it?”
She felt like shit, but she didn’t say so. How could she complain to Lorelei? “It is what it is.”
Lorelei leaned closer to the computer, reading. “You’re not sending it to Drew? I thought he was your boss.”
“He is, in a way. He’s one of the four partners, but he’s not the managing partner. I’m afraid he’d just kick it back to me, refuse to accept it or use it as an excuse to get me involved with him again. I need to send it to Gary in order to put a quick end to...to everything.”
“I admire you,” Lorelei said.
Reagan scoffed. “How could you, of all people, admire me?”
“I do. For the way you’re handling the situation. But—” Lorelei squeezed her arm “—are you positive this is how you want to proceed? It makes it all feel very...permanent.”
Reagan swallowed against a dry throat. “That’s why I haven’t been able to bring myself to send it yet. But it’s what I need to do, right?”
“You’re the only one who can answer that question.”
She nodded. “Yeah, it’s what I need to do.”
Compassion filled Lorelei’s eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s my own fault,” she said and slid the computer back in front of her. “Like you said last night, maybe this will be a good thing. Maybe we’re all meant to go in a different direction from here.”
“Maybe. But that probably depends on what you want most out of life.”
“I honestly couldn’t tell you what I want because so much of what I’ve done has been to please my mother.” She watched Lucy change from the purple marker to the blue one. “I’m about to quit my job, which could damage my entire career, and yet the biggest concern I have is telling her. There’s something wrong with that, right?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never had a mother. But I have plenty of experience with trying to meet everyone’s expectations so they won’t reject me. It’s easy to become a slave to that—to lose yourself in it.”
Reagan could only imagine how much heavier the burden she carried would be if she were trying to please everyone and not just her mother. “I agree. This is where I draw the line, regardless of what my mother will think. Drew doesn’t belong to me. I need to stay away from him,” she said and, fixing a picture of Sally—and Drew’s three children—firmly in her mind, she pressed Send.
13
serenity
ALTHOUGH SHE’D BEEN up most of the night, Serenity had crashed hard after the police came by. When she finally woke, she saw that she’d missed three calls from her mother.
With a groan, Serenity got up to use the bathroom, procrastinating, for just a little while, the moment when she’d call her mother back. She needed a few seconds to prepare for what was coming.
Then, as she sagged back onto the bed, she hit the button that would return her mother’s call.
Charlotte answered on the first ring. “Serenity, there you are! What’s going on? I’ve been so worried about you.”
“Everything’s fine, Mom. Sorry for the scare. I met a new friend last night, and we had a little too much to drink.” She laughed awkwardly. “Otherwise, I wouldn’t have bothered you in the middle of the night.”
“It’s okay. I didn’t see your text until this morning, anyway.”
At which point she’d called immediately. Serenity had such a loving, caring mother—and Lorelei had no one playing that role for her.
“So what’s wrong?” her mother asked. “Who did you meet?”
Fortunately, those questions had come rapid-fire, allowing Serenity to answer the second one instead of the first. “A guy, actually.”
“A guy?” her mother echoed, showing a bit of excitement. “Is he cute?”
“Very. And he’s renting the cabin next door.”
“How lucky! What’s his name?”
“Finley Hatch.”
“And you like him?”
“He seems nice, yes.”
“I’m so happy to hear this. After what Sean did... Well, you deserve better.”
Serenity winced at the compliment. She hated being deceitful, especially with her mother. She also hated to make last night sound like more than it was. Although she really liked Finn, she didn’t feel anything romantic toward him. She was too numb, had been too burned, to even venture in that direction.
She didn’t know if he was available, anyway. “It is.”
“How long will he be in town?”
“The whole summer.”
“That’s fortunate,” her mother said, her voice growing even warmer.
“His brother lost an arm in a motorcycle accident, so Finn is bringing him to Tahoe for a few months to heal.”
“Did you say his brother has lost an arm? How sad!”
“It is sad, which is why I’m considering spending the summer here in Tahoe, too. So I can befriend Davis and try to...you know, encourage him. He’s in a very dark place right now.”
“Of course you should do that. You can work from anywhere—the cabin’s as good a place as any.”
Serenity grimaced at her reflection in the mirror over the dresser. Liar, she thought as she studied her flushed face. Her mother was going exactly where Serenity was leading her—and it was all because of love.
She was taking advantage of that love.
“By the way. What were you referring to in your text? What haven’t I told you?”
Serenity tried to detect some guilt in her mother’s voice, a hint of fear that suggested she’d caught on, but she couldn’t determine if there was any. Slightly relieved, and yet more curious than ever, she pressed three fingers to her forehead while forcing herself to say what she’d devised before falling asleep last night. “That Uncle Vance has a new girlfriend. I went on Facebook after I got home and noticed that he’s changed his profile to ‘in a relationship.’”
“Oh, is that all?”
Her mother acted as though she’d let herself get worked up over nothing. That was what Serenity had hoped she’d do. But a lot would depend on the next few minutes. Would she question what Serenity was saying? Try to clarify? And would Serenity be able to convince her?
“Yeah. Like I said, I’d had a little too much to drink and wasn’t paying attention to the time,” Serenity said, putting some effort toward making the lie believable.
“Well, the news, such as it is, about your uncle Vance is nothing to be too shocked about. He’s always in a new relationship. I don’t even pay attention anymore. He’s never been with the sam
e woman for more than three years.”
“Why is that?” Serenity asked, purposely leading her mother even further into a discussion that had nothing to do with the problem she’d texted about last night. “He’s handsome and charming.”
“He’s also superficial and can’t keep a job,” her mother stated flatly. “If he doesn’t get fired, he finds an excuse to quit. I used to admire him. He’s quite handsome, which is why women are attracted to him, but after seeing what he’s done with his life, I’m disgusted, to be honest with you. He’s not half the man your father is. Hard to believe they’re even related.”
“Nature versus nurture is an interesting study.” She held her breath as soon as those words came out of her mouth. She’d been thinking of her, Lorelei and Reagan—not her father and his derelict brother—but if her mother had suspected that she might’ve discovered the secret of her birth, this could lead her right back to it.
“It is,” her mother said. “But they were raised in the same household and have the same genes. Who can say why your father turned out so well, and Vance didn’t?”
Her mother’s strident voice suggested she wasn’t second-guessing the conversation. But the comment about Uncle Vance and her father having the same genes made Serenity briefly wonder if Vance could have fathered Lorelei and Reagan.
No. If that were the case, they would’ve come up as first cousins, not half sisters, on her family tree. “Where does he live now?”
“I think he’s in Vegas. Shows up here in San Diego every once in a while—whenever he needs something. He called your father just last week, asking for a loan.”
“Did Daddy give it to him?”
“Probably. I didn’t ask, didn’t want to know. It galls me to give Vance money. He received as much of an inheritance as your father did, but he blew through his in record time. Now he has nothing. If there’s a new woman in his life, it’s probably someone who hasn’t figured out yet that he’s using her to pay the bills. I doubt it’ll last.”
“That’s disappointing.”
“It is. I don’t know how your father copes with having such a useless brother. But enough about Vance. What do you have planned for the day? Have you been able to get anything done on your book?”
“A little.” Serenity rolled her eyes at the image staring back at her in the mirror. This was another lie.
“That’s great, honey. You can pull out of the funk you’ve been in. No one’s a better writer than you are.”
“You’re always so good to me, Mom. So supportive. Thank you.”
“Of course. I love you and your brother and sisters more than anything in the world.”
“I know you do,” she said and prayed that her mother would be able to forgive her when she learned that Uncle Vance had nothing to do with what was really going on.
* * *
lorelei
“So now you call me?” Mark said. “I finally gave up waiting to hear back from you. I’m at the hardware store.”
The pique in her husband’s voice put Lorelei on edge. He was lucky she’d called him at all. Dialing his number hadn’t been easy for her. She didn’t even want to hear his voice.
But she didn’t say that. Although she’d left Lucy inside the cabin with Serenity and Reagan so she could talk without feeling inhibited, she wouldn’t make this call any more difficult than it had to be. “I’ve been busy.”
“Doing what, for God’s sake? You’re on vacation.”
She kicked at a clump of snow. “While you’re slaving away at home, fixing things around the house, you mean?”
“Well, I’m sure as hell not having any fun.”
Lorelei moved farther from the cabin, into the thicket of trees surrounding it. “Is that the problem? Is that why you had an affair with my best friend? You’re looking for more fun?”
“Please tell me Lucy isn’t overhearing this,” he said flatly.
Lorelei let her head fall back so she could stare up at the clear blue sky. “She isn’t.”
“Where is she?”
“In the house, making brownies with Serenity.”
“So you’re free to make cutting remarks.”
“I think most women would make cutting remarks under the circumstances, don’t you? Besides, all I said was that you had an affair with my best friend, and it’s true.”
She could see part of the roof of the cabin where Finn was staying. As she gazed in that direction, she remembered his engaging smile and tried to cling to the memory of the evening they’d shared as a group of friends getting to know each other.
“Right. I’ll give you that. I’ve ruined our lives, and I’m as upset about it as you are. Do you think that I’m happy Francine’s pregnant? Do you think I intended this problem? No! But it happened and now we have no choice but to try to move past it.”
“I can’t imagine why I can’t get with the program,” she said.
“Sarcasm isn’t going to help, Lorelei. Please, can we just...put it behind us?”
“Why not? After all, it’s been so long since I found out.”
“More sarcasm? Really?”
“Okay, I’ll play it straight. I’m not sure I can,” she admitted. When he screwed up, he never wanted to talk about it, didn’t want to suffer through her disappointment. It was frustrating not to be able to express herself, not to be able to thoroughly discuss their problems and get beyond them. She’d gotten used to the way he was and could let most things go. But this fell into an entirely different category, and yet he was trying to treat it the same.
“I’ll give you time,” he said, obviously realizing that he was being unreasonable.
“I think you’re going to have to give me a better understanding as to why it happened. You said you were bored with your life. Were you really saying you were bored with me?”
“No, of course not.”
“Then is it your job? Do you want to quit and do something else?”
“No, it’s not my job.”
“But if your job isn’t to blame, and I’m not to blame, what’s left?”
Her question met with silence. Then he said, “I’m at the hardware store, trying to buy some parts to fix the mower, which broke down this morning. I can’t have an emotional blowout right now.”
“Okay. I’ll give you a call tomorrow. Or maybe the next day,” she added as an afterthought.
Seemingly shocked that she was willing to put an end to the conversation that quickly, and that the promise of another call was such a loose one, he said, “Wait! Don’t go yet. Tell me...tell me about your trip.”
She swatted at what little snow was left clinging to the boughs of the closest tree and watched as it showered down on the ground. “I’m having a good time. I’m really glad I came.”
“You are.”
“Yes.”
He didn’t sound pleased despite the fact that she was trying to be positive. “What have you been doing?”
“Taking care of our daughter and visiting with my sisters.”
“What are they like?”
“Nothing like Mercedes or Osha.” She loved being able to throw that back in his face. He’d been so convinced she’d be disappointed and regret the trip to Tahoe.
“You probably wouldn’t know it yet, even if they were,” he pointed out.
In his mind, he was always right. So of course he wouldn’t concede the point that easily. “I’d have some inkling,” she said stubbornly. “Serenity is a successful writer, and Reagan is a successful advertising executive. I admire them both.”
She purposely didn’t mention that Reagan had just quit her job—or the reason behind it.
“So you love them? Instantly?”
He sounded catty, jealous. “I’m growing to respect them as I come to know them. Is that a problem? Are you disappointed that it’s working out for m
e despite your dire predictions?”
She was never snippy with him. If anything, she was usually the one trying to cajole him out of a bad mood. But she couldn’t seem to help herself today. The anger and hurt kept welling up and as hard as she tried to hold them back, they came oozing out in everything she said.
“No,” he finally replied. “I’m just afraid I’m going to lose you.”
Tears welled up, causing her to blink quickly. “Maybe you deserve that.”
“Wow. If this is how you act around your new sisters, I can’t believe they’re good influences.”
“Well, they aren’t very big fans of yours, either.”
“Damn it, Lorelei! Is that what’s going on?” he asked, getting angry himself. “You’re clear across the country, telling two total strangers what a terrible husband I am?”
She spotted Lucy through the window, laughing and talking as she stood on a chair to reach the counter. “I haven’t said anything that isn’t true,” she told Mark.
He seemed at a loss. “I don’t even know how to react. I’ve never seen you like this.”
“I’ve never been like this.” She rubbed her left temple.
“I’m sorry. How many more times do I need to say it?”
“I don’t know. I can’t seem to stop myself from...from wanting to strike out at you. Maybe it’d be better if we talked later.”
“I’d rather not have the conversation end on such a sour note, especially because, with the way you’re acting, I have no idea if you’ll call me back.”
“Neither do I.”
She heard him haul in a heavy breath. “Since you’re in such a dark place anyway, we might as well talk about Francine. This isn’t all my fault, you know. She had a hand in it.”
“I’m sure she did.”
“Have you heard from her yet?”
“I haven’t talked to her. I don’t know if she tried to call because I haven’t looked through my call record since I got here.”
“You’re just going to write her off? Never speak to her again?”
Lorelei wished she could—possibly with both of them. “I’m considering it.”
