by Brenda Novak
“I’ll just say I’m visiting for a few days. We’re close enough that I don’t need a reason. It’s probably stranger that I haven’t come home for so long. She’s been bugging me to.”
“But will you be able to spend time with your parents without giving us away?”
Lorelei and Reagan were becoming an integral part of her life—and she shared everything with her mother. To be keeping this secret not only felt strange, it felt duplicitous.
“I’ll manage.” Serenity spoke with more confidence than she felt. She was afraid to return home for fear she’d act strange, and they’d call her on it.
She was, however, eager to return to the Bay area; from there she’d fly to San Diego. Maybe she’d allow herself to see Sawyer the night before her flight. She hadn’t heard from anyone in Sean’s family, which helped her stop worrying about Nina’s having found them together. And she couldn’t stop thinking about Sawyer, about the way he kissed her, the way he touched her, the way he felt inside her—or those flowers he’d left on the counter. He hadn’t called, but she believed he’d left those hydrangeas as an invitation to contact him again.
And the longer she waited, the harder it became not to.
* * *
lorelei
When Lorelei knocked on Davis’s door, he didn’t answer.
“Davis?” she called through the panel. “I need to talk to you. Will you give me a minute?”
“Go away,” he said.
She set her jaw. “I won’t go away. It’s time we had a heart-to-heart.”
“I don’t have to talk to you. I don’t even know you. You have no right to be here.”
She curved her nails into her palms. “Your father is paying me to be here. But if you don’t think I’m making your life easier, maybe this isn’t the best arrangement.”
“I don’t need you,” came his response. “I don’t need anyone.”
“I agree,” she said. “You could do what I’m doing if you really wanted to. It would just take some determination and practice. Why don’t you start making yourself do a little more each day?”
No answer.
“Either way, while you do have help, would it kill you to be kind? And to show a little gratitude to your father and your brothers, who are trying so hard to be supportive?”
“What’s happening to me is none of your business,” he snapped. “I don’t have to listen to you.”
“No one forced you to get on that motorcycle,” she said. “You made that choice, and when you ride a motorcycle, you have to accept the risks that go along with it. I’m sure you knew it could be dangerous, so you don’t get to treat everyone like shit just because you had an accident. It’s unfortunate, and I feel bad about it, but you’ve had enough time to grieve. It’s been nearly two months, and you haven’t shown any signs of improvement—you’re actually getting worse! It’s starting to turn into a pity party.”
The door swung open and banged against the inside wall as he stood in the doorway. “Did you say pity party?”
She was intimidated by his stance, the anger in his eyes and the vein that throbbed in his throat, but she was already in too deep to back out. She lifted her chin to show her own resolution. “Yes. You’re so busy feeling sorry for yourself that you’ve forgotten to be grateful for all the things you do have. It could be worse, you know. You could’ve been killed. You could’ve broken your back or your neck and become a quadriplegic. You could’ve bashed your head in and ruined all hope of becoming an actor. You could’ve lost one or both legs. If you’ll change your attitude, you can overcome this and still live a good life, especially once you get a prosthetic, which your father is rich enough to provide! How lucky is that!”
“I don’t know who the hell you think you are!” he cried.
Maybe she’d gone too far—and maybe what she’d said should’ve come from someone else. But the people who loved him couldn’t bear to tell him what he needed to hear. “Lucy and I have been nothing but nice to you,” she said, speaking in a much calmer voice, in hopes that he would, too. “You don’t have to be a jerk, even if you have lost an arm.”
Her calm voice did little good. “Get out of here,” he yelled pointing at the door. “Get out and don’t come back. I don’t ever want to see you or your daughter again!”
Tears sprang to Lorelei’s eyes. This was more than she’d bargained for. And it was her fault. She was angry and frustrated by life, too. There’d always been things she wished she had—like a family, a different past, the knowledge of who she was and where she came from. And now she was mourning the loss of her trust and belief in Mark, the person she’d expected to spend the rest of her life with.
But she couldn’t sit around feeling sorry for herself. She needed to get beyond her challenges, and so did he. “Fine, Lucy isn’t safe around a two-hundred-pound baby, anyway.”
“Lorelei...” Finn had carried Lucy to where they were and she could hear Nolan’s feet pounding down the stairs as he hurried to join them. She guessed they wanted her to stop, but she wasn’t in full control of her emotions. She was feeling her way through each day, just trying to keep things together and figure out a future. She didn’t need someone like Davis to make her life any more difficult. She was only earning about fifteen dollars an hour. Surely, she could find something else that paid that much.
“I’m leaving and I’m not coming back,” she told Finn. “But I think you and Nolan should tell your brother that he needs to be the one to clean up the lamp he broke.” She shot Davis a disapproving look. “He should also be the one to pay for it.”
With that, she grabbed Lucy and stormed out of the house.
* * *
reagan
Serenity was right. Reagan needed to tell Lorelei about the baby. She’d just convinced herself she’d do that at the next opportunity when Lorelei came stomping into the cabin, handed her Lucy and started to her room.
“Uh-oh,” she murmured to Serenity, who walked out to see what was going on.
“What’s the matter?” she asked Lorelei, but Lorelei was already halfway to her room.
It was Lucy who answered. “Mommy’s crying.”
Reagan had been able to see that for herself. She bent her head to peer into the little girl’s face. “Why?”
“Davis.”
“What did he do?”
“He threw the lamp,” she said, wide-eyed.
“At who?” Serenity asked. “He didn’t hit her, did he?”
“No. It broke.”
“It doesn’t sound like things are going too well next door,” Reagan murmured. “Here, take Lucy. I’ll go check on Lorelei.”
She was about to start up the stairs when there was a quick knock at the door and, before she could answer, Finn opened it. “Can I talk to Lorelei?” he asked.
He didn’t look as though he’d take no for an answer, so Reagan motioned him past her. “She’s in her room. Third one on the right.”
He took the stairs two at a time, and she heard the door shut as he went in.
“Why is your mommy upset?” she asked, returning to Lucy.
Serenity answered for her. “She just mumbled something about Davis and Lorelei getting into a fight.”
Reagan scowled. “Over what?”
“I haven’t been able to figure that out.” Serenity caught Lucy’s eye. “What were they fighting about?”
“The lamp,” she said with a sniff as though reliving it was upsetting her again.
“Why did he throw it?” Reagan asked.
She stared down at her dangling feet. “I said something bad.”
Reagan took her hand. “What? What did you say?”
“I don’t remember,” she said and turned into Serenity’s shoulder as she started to cry.
Serenity hugged her close. “I’m sure it’ll be okay.”
&nbs
p; “That lamp better not have hit anyone,” Reagan said.
“I’m sure it didn’t,” Serenity responded. “Finn would never allow it to go that far.”
“I wonder what Finn’s saying to her now,” Reagan said.
Serenity motioned at the table. “Let’s eat. Maybe after he leaves, she’ll tell us.”
A text came in as Reagan was pulling up her chair. It was from Rally. How are you feeling?
“It’s Rally again,” Reagan said. “He won’t leave me alone.”
Serenity slid a piece of avocado toast onto her plate. “Have you asked him to leave you alone?”
“No, but I haven’t responded. I’m trying to do him a favor, trying to make sure he doesn’t get caught up in a mess. Who wants to date a woman who’s pregnant with someone else’s child?”
“He does, apparently. If he minded, he wouldn’t still be talking to you.” Serenity dumped some chips in a bowl. “He might be the real deal, Reagan. Maybe you should answer him—before he does give up.”
Reagan looked at Lucy. “What do you think?” she said conspiratorially, in an attempt to distract the little girl and cheer her up.
“You should talk to him,” she said and smiled at Serenity to show solidarity.
“Then I will. After all, you’re the boss,” she said with a wink.
* * *
lorelei
Finn sat on the edge of Lorelei’s bed. “I’m sorry about Davis.”
“I shouldn’t have tried to talk to him.” She gave him a defiant look. “But I still believe he needed to hear what I had to say.”
“That’s probably true,” Finn conceded. “But you were a little rough on him, don’t you think?”
“Rough on him? That lamp he threw could’ve hurt Lucy.” But it wasn’t just that. Davis’s attitude had been wearing on her. Biting her tongue when she was dying to tell him how she really felt had been getting harder and harder, especially because she was struggling herself. He wasn’t the only one suffering; his problems were just a little more obvious.
“But it didn’t hurt Lucy.” He tried to take her hand, but she wouldn’t let him. She was too upset. “He lost his arm, Lorelei. Give him some time.”
“How long do we let him sulk? What if he throws something else and he does hurt Lucy? He’s getting worse instead of better.”
He briefly covered his face before dropping his hands. “Look, I didn’t come to fight with you.”
“Then why did you come?”
“Why do you think?” he countered with a scowl.
“I can’t keep working for your father if Davis doesn’t want me around.”
“If he doesn’t have you to do things for him, he’ll have to learn to do them himself. Maybe you did what you were trying to do—but not in the way you intended. Not every change comes about peaceably, even changes that are for the best.”
She considered that, but it was hard to feel much better. Because of what had just happened between her and Davis, she’d still have to find other work. And it wouldn’t have had to be like that. If only he’d cooperated—since she was trying to do something useful, something that was supposed to help him—they could’ve had a nice summer.
Or...maybe finding another job was for the best. She was falling in love with Finn. While it felt good, she was afraid it was clouding her judgment. Why do the hard work of forgiving Mark and Francine when there was a golden boy keeping her company, helping her forget?
She couldn’t imagine it was a good idea to gamble on a younger man she’d met only weeks ago, regardless—especially when she had a child to consider. For all she knew, he’d let her down just as badly, or in a different way. There were no guarantees, nothing to say he’d love her better or longer or be more loyal.
“You’re right,” she said. “Maybe this was meant to be.” Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath. “I have no business being at your place so often when I need to be thinking about my daughter and my future.”
He narrowed his eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I don’t think we should see each other anymore.”
“Because of something my brother did?” he said, now angry himself.
“Because I’m still married, and I’m in a mess and you’re only making it worse!”
“I’m making it worse?”
“It’s true.”
“Fine,” he said and stood up. “You want me to go, you got it.”
She almost stopped him as he walked out. She didn’t want him to go. But she had to choose, and it would only hurt more to make that choice later.
Was it a mistake to end her marriage? No matter what Mark had done, she had a twelve-year history with him, they had a legal responsibility to each other, she used his name, his family had become her family, they shared a house—and he was the father of her daughter.
One summer couldn’t erase all of that and set her on a completely different course.
Could it?
25
serenity
THEY TOLD LORELEI about their call with Vance. Serenity thought it might help her feel better to focus on something else. But it didn’t seem to make much difference. Lorelei muttered that she agreed with having Serenity get her father’s DNA, but she didn’t seem captivated by the mystery, as Serenity had expected. Lorelei seemed to have bigger things to worry about.
After Serenity made a plane reservation for San Diego and told her parents she was coming on July 2 and would be staying for the Fourth, she convinced Lorelei and Reagan to go shopping with her. She thought it might cheer them both up to get out of the cabin.
But neither one of them showed any interest in the pretty things they saw. Reagan frowned every time she came across a dress or something she would have considered purchasing if she weren’t pregnant. And Lorelei, who still didn’t know about the baby, spent most of her time looking for businesses that were hiring.
Reagan bought an alpaca teddy bear for Lucy from a tourist shop. Lucy smiled and hugged it to her chest, but even Lucy didn’t seem to be herself. She kept glancing at her mom; she understood Lorelei was still upset.
“Are you going to be okay?” Serenity asked Lorelei while Reagan used the restroom and they were waiting for their dinner at Hubby’s Barbecue. Hubby’s served delicious mac and cheese and offered pulled pork as a mix-in, which was what they’d ordered for Lucy.
Lorelei took a drink of her IPA. “I’m fine. I was stupid to let myself get so—” she checked to see if her daughter was tracking the conversation and paused to choose a word that wouldn’t give away too much “—attached.”
Reagan rejoined them in time to hear Lorelei’s response. “It could happen to anyone,” she said, jumping right back into the discussion. “The...um...man you’re talking about is incredibly handsome and smart and empathetic and—”
“You’re not helping,” Lorelei broke in.
“Is it Finn, Mommy?” Lucy guessed.
When all three of them said no at once, Serenity had to laugh. So much for watching what they said in front of Lucy.
After dinner, they wandered through a few more shops. Serenity held Lucy’s hand and kept her occupied so Lorelei wouldn’t have to worry about her and could relax, and Reagan did her part by looping her arm through Lorelei’s and pointing out different things they saw, but she couldn’t get much of a reaction.
They returned to the cabin shortly after. Lorelei said she wanted to put Lucy to bed early, since Lucy had missed her nap, and Reagan wanted to watch a movie.
Ever since she’d made her plane reservation, Serenity had been dying to text Sawyer. She’d been trying to distract herself as much as she was trying to distract her sisters when she’d insisted they go shopping today, but it didn’t really change anything for her, either—it just postponed the inevitable. She wasn’t going to text him when she was with Reagan
and Lorelei in case he responded and they happened to see the exchange. She wasn’t ready to talk to them or anyone else about Sawyer; she still wasn’t sure what she was doing where he was concerned, and as long as she didn’t tell anyone, it didn’t feel serious.
It wasn’t serious, she told herself. And yet as soon as she was alone, while Lorelei was busy giving Lucy her bath and Reagan was watching her movie, she pulled out her phone.
Should she start by explaining why he hadn’t heard from her for so long? Ask how things had gone with Nina? Ask why he hadn’t contacted her?
Maybe he wasn’t interested in seeing her again.
That possibility made her pace in agitation—until she broke down. In the end, she swallowed her pride and skipped all the stuff that was going on inside her head, except what was simple and true. I want to see you again.
She held her breath as she waited. Would he respond? If she were him, she probably wouldn’t. A relationship with almost any other woman had to be less complicated.
But it was only a moment before she got a response and, fortunately, like her, he didn’t bother with lengthy explanations, accusations or anything that would make her think too deeply.
When?
I’ll be in Berkeley on the first.
Text me when you get there.
She closed her eyes after she read those six words. She’d promised herself she’d let whatever had started between them go.
Too bad she couldn’t.
* * *
lorelei
It was three hours later in Florida—almost eleven. Lorelei was afraid she might wake Mark. He had to work early in the morning. But she had to call him, had to stop their marriage from unraveling any further before it was too late. She was beginning to wonder if she was partially to blame for how bad things had gotten, because she hadn’t been entirely focused on her husband or healing. She’d been distracted by her handsome, young neighbor and maybe that had changed how she would normally have reacted to the situation.
