by Fiona Price
Matt had one more piece of unfinished business to attend to, though. The case was officially closed, so that meant the evidence and Alex’s personal artifacts were able to be released. He knew that he couldn’t prevent Alissa from leaving and he knew that he couldn’t change the way she felt, but he could return to her the last few things from her fiancée. Matt nervously drove to Alissa’s beach house, and he found it hard to pull himself up the wooden stairs. They ended on a rough note down in the interrogation room and wasn’t sure where they stood, but he held Alex’s Jimmy Choo pumps in his left hand and the plastic bag with Alex’s diamond engagement ring in the other. He stood outside her door for a few moments before he reached out and knocked, but there was no response. He had turned away and was about to start walking away when he heard the door open behind him.
“Matt, what are you doing here?” Alissa asked softly. Matt turned back around, and it had been obvious she had been crying for some time. When Matt turned around, Alissa saw what he was holding in his hands, and she felt the breath escape her lungs.
“The case was marked as closed today, so I was able to take these from the Medical Examiner’s office so I could return them to you. You deserve to have these, Alissa.” Matt responded, and she took the pumps and then the diamond ring.
“Alex’s ring was dirty, so I had it cleaned for you. I hope you don’t mind.” Matt spoke softly. Tears streamed down Alissa’s face as she tucked her chin to her chest and held the ring close to it. Matt put his hand on her shoulder and hugged her as she cried for a few moments. She stared down at the bag for a long time before opening it and letting the ring slip onto her palm.
It felt wrong.
Alex should have been the one wearing that ring.
Alissa still never took off her own engagement ring, since she was never quite ready. But, in that moment, standing there with Matt, she slid her ring off and transferred it to her right hand.
Their rings were supposed to match. Alex’s ring was a white gold band and an open ring full of diamonds, and Alissa’s ring was the matching piece with the solitaire diamond in the middle. Together, they interlocked and made one full ring. It was supposed to be a metaphor for their unity. Now, Alissa wore both on her right hand. And she wore them like that for a while.
**********
Alissa had just gotten settled in New Jersey, the pain of leaving Shane and Matt still hurting, making her second guess if she did the right thing, even two months later. Alissa forced herself to take a breath of the sea air and slow down her thoughts, knowing that this was how it was meant to be. This is how it had to end up, starting over, knowing that she had closure of the death of Alex. It took her long enough to process her death and realize that she was dead and buried, and now she was accepting her life as she knew it.
It was a warm night, and she could see Atlantic City from her house in Ocean City. The radio on her kitchen windowsill was tuned in to a soft rock station and she hummed along to the familiar tune that was soft enough that it was almost carried on the breeze that was rustling the curtains. Suddenly, there was a knock at the front door, and she opened it to find Matt standing there in a wrinkled dress shirt and pants and out of breath like he had run all the way to her from Florida.
"Matt! What are you doing here?"
"If you don't want to see me again, I would understand and I would leave you alone, but this just was something I had to come here and tell you in person because a phone call wouldn't do what I'm about to say justice, and I just couldn't shake this feeling that you leaving wasn't meant to be."
"Whoa, slow down, what's going on?" She said as she stepped outside of her door and onto the concrete covered in sand where he was standing. He looked like he was about to explode.
"If none of this works out, if we don't work out, I need to let you know that I love you. It's okay if you don't feel the same way, you can give it to me straight, but I needed you to know the truth."
"What are you talking about?" Alissa questioned, everything happening so fast.
"I want to tell you everything, I want to explain, but I just don't know how to say it. I rehearsed in my head what I was going to say but nothing I try to put together works and tells you how I feel, because I can't describe what I'm feeling right now."
"Start at the beginning, take it easy, it's alright, I promise. I'll listen." Alissa calmly said. He couldn't look her in the eyes, and he was breathing hard, running his hand through his hair nervously.
"From the very first time I saw you, at the crime scene, unfortunately, you had my head spinning. I knew that you didn't kill Alex, I knew it from the start. I looked into your eyes and I didn't see a killer, I saw a woman that felt the same kind of pain I had felt before. I knew that look in your eye. I knew you would do everything you could to solve that damn case, because it's what I would do, too. I saw something in you that I haven't seen in anyone else. I didn't want to say it when we were on the case, and I know we went out a few times after work for drinks, but I wanted us to be something more than you just being a little too far out of my limit, just out of my reach."
"What do you mean? I was always there, I'm here with you now." She tried to clarify.
"No, you were never always there. I can't get you, and I've had a hard time getting used to that. Every damn day I had to stare from a distance, like I was on the outside looking in. I knew I couldn't get too close, and knowing that has made me miserable, especially since you left, and I thought I missed my chance." He paused, catching his breath. Alissa was listening, knowing exactly what was going on now. It was bound to happen sooner or later.
"Shane's engaged to Vicki now, and they're happy. Scarlet is dating Max, and everyone is happy, except for me, because all I could think about, every day, was you. I just can't let you go, and I know it sounds pathetic, but God, I love you, I love you so damn much. I came here just to tell you that I loved you, even though I knew that you wouldn't say it back, mostly because I'm still running on the presumption that you're gay but I'm not entirely sure about that since I didn't want to ask. But, I took the risk and I just had to say it. I'm sorry I'm a mess, but I left on my lunch hour without telling anybody, but my flight was delayed and the kid next to me was violently throwing up and everything was going wrong-"
What Alissa never knew to say before finally came out in a flood of emotions, and she knew exactly the words that he needed to hear. She said it once, she said it over and over again, she said that she loved him, and meant it. This was a feeling she felt violently, but this time, it didn't hurt her.
"I love you, Matt. I do." Alissa said to his face, saying it all from her heart.
Alissa cut off the rest of his long rant by taking a large step forward, putting her arms around his neck and kissing his lips deeply, waiting for this moment. She could tell that he didn't expect her reaction to be quite like that, and it took a good few seconds for him to put his heart into the kiss like he did the rant just moments before, and put his hands on her waist and pull her closer to him. They kissed over and over, under the moonlight and the sound of the crashing waves in the distance. They stepped back inside Alissa's house, the same song playing in that moment as the time they went out for drinks at that bar down in Florida and they slow danced to it, not minding the people around them, staring. They blended in with the people who were dancing too, letting their troubles wash away.
Alissa remembered that day clearly, they both knew that there was something there, but they wouldn't ever admit it. Now, this was the time to admit it, and they did. Alissa unbuttoned his wrinkled dress shirt and yanked off his tie that was already loosened. His dark blonde hair was wild and losing the shape it had from the gel, and from her hands running through it.
Matt wasn't exactly sure what to do with his hands because he and Alissa had never been particularly physical with each other. They hadn't even kissed either, the only thing that Matt had to stand on was their date at the bar, the long night drinking wine and laughing and walking on the bea
ch. Alissa picked up on his hesitation quickly.
"Matt, you don't have to be afraid to touch me." Alissa spoke gently, placing his hands on her waist and stepping closer to him. "I want to be with you, Matt."
He slipped Alissa's shirt off of her torso almost cautiously and tossed it aside, wrapping his arms around her body. The way his fingertips trailed up her back gave her the good kind of goosebumps, and her hands got lost in his long, dirty blonde hair. This was the closest they've ever been, and she liked it. It was about time, but better late than never, Alissa thought. It wasn't a matter of if, rather than when, she realized. They got lost in each other, letting it happen all at once. Maybe what they had begun was just a spark, now it was a fully-fledged bonfire, consuming every part of them.
Later, the clock read 3 am, and neither could sleep. They were tangled in the sheets, his arms wrapped around Alissa, her back to his bare chest. She was thinking about what was really meant to be, since she knew that he would have to go back to Florida sooner or later. He couldn't just get up and leave, even if it was for her. He has a life there, Alissa had a life there. She didn't think she could go back there and face the life she left behind. But he was there, Alissa's mind kept screaming at her.
Maybe the two months she spent there in New Jersey was just a vacation for her to get her priorities straight. Maybe she was meant to stay in Florida.
Alissa knew it would be a conversation that they would have in the morning, and as she was laying there, awake when she should have been asleep comfortably in his arms, she made her decision. She rolled over and put her face in his chest, still smelling his cologne on his skin. She took a deep breath in, closing her eyes and focusing on his breathing. It was steady, constant and deep as he was sleeping, and there was a smile on his face. She knew the decision she just made was the right one.
Alissa never saw this coming, this, lying in bed with Matt. She knew that they would end up together, everyone knew that, but she didn't expect it to fall into place quite like this. There was nothing that could have prepared her for it. Despite being caught off-guard, she felt like a hole in her heart was finally filled, and he was the only one that could fill it. He was the first man she had fallen in love with, she thought in her entire life.
Admittedly, this was new territory for her. This was her lighting a match and playing with fire, and she couldn't wait to see how big the fire burned. At this point, Alissa didn't care about how long it would burn, they've already crossed that bridge. Her fire was already burning. Now, it was just time for her to let it burn and watch.
VII
Alyssa fell into a peaceful, comfortable sleep in Matt's arms. In the morning, he was playing with a strand of her hair and blowing on her face gently to wake her up. Alissa heard the gulls chirping down at the beach, which was just down the road, and the warm sun was radiating onto her face through the window. She opened her eyes with a lazy smile, and he pressed his lips to hers.
"It's still early. If we go out now, we could ride some waves, get a funnel cake on the boardwalk, you know. Before all the tourists come out and steal the beach." He suggested, trailing his fingers down her face.
"That sounds perfect to me." Alissa answered, not wanting to get out of bed to do so.
"Then let's go!"
"But I'm so comfortable!" She protested.
"Okay, on three."
"One," She counted, and he wrapped his arms around her waist and rolled out of bed, the cold air conditioning hitting them. Alissa stood on the tops of his feet so hers wouldn't have to touch the hardwood floor, and he started walking. They got ready to surf and Alissa led him outside to the beach.
Down the back stairs was the garage, and Alissa had her surfboards propped up against the stairs. She picked one and waxed it, letting him pick his. They walked down to the shore, his arm around her and tickling her when she wasn't expecting it, and they ran into the water at the same time, almost challenging each other who could catch the best wave first. They paddled out into the sea, and when they spotted a wave, he told Alissa to go for it. She smiled and caught a good, solid pipe. After she was done, she dove into the water to brush back her hair. She climbed back onto her board and watched him catch a wave.
He wasn't much of a surfer back in Florida, but Alissa knew he and Shane were surfing buddies, which made her smile every time she thought about it. Shane had told her that Matt was once terrified of the water, but Shane bothered him every day about it until Matt got in the water to shut him up. It was one of Shane's proudest moments.
Matt paddled out over to her, jumped off his board and swam under hers, toppling it over so she ended up in the water. She knew what he was doing the second he jumped into the water, but she let him do it anyway. When they were under, he kissed Alissa, and she could taste the salt on his lips. When they came up for air, Alissa sat back on her board and he sat on his and talked as they sat, watching the other surfers carve up waves.
Not too long later, they dried off and started working their way down the boardwalk. The wood wasn't too hot yet, but it was a pleasant warm, and the haze from the early morning was lifting into bright sunlight. The sun seemed to shine brighter on Alissa when Matt was around.
When they bought their breakfast, they laid their surfboards on the ground and sat on the wooden railing of the boardwalk, looking out onto the ocean. She rested her head on his shoulder and they were mostly silent. They shared a large iced coffee as they were eating their breakfast sticky buns.
"This afternoon, I'm going to take you out so you can experience a slice of decent pizza. Not any pizza, but New Jersey pizza, which is so much different than the pizza down in Florida. New York crispy crust is a taste all of its own, but this will be like nothing you've ever tasted before. You're going to love it."
"Even if I don't-"
"You will." He said, cutting her off, confident in his state's pizza.
"Even if I don't-"
"I'll still love you."
"Even if I don't," She began, pausing for him to remark. "I'll love it because you're there with me."
"You will still love it because it's excellent pizza. No exceptions." He smiled.
"You are ridiculously stubborn, you know that?"
"I was just playing with you, don't worry." He smiled and looked down at her before kissing the top of her head.
They surfed a little more and then relaxed under the sun, putting their surfboards down and laying on them. After Alissa got a little bit of color, which was somewhere in between a sunburn and a slight tan, she went over to Matt and curled up next to him. He wrapped his arm around her torso, his other arm behind his head. Alissa's hair was on his chest and it was blowing slightly in the ocean breeze. When it was getting towards lunchtime they slowly walked back to Alissa's beach house and had maybe a little too much fun playing in the spray of the hose, attempting to wash the sand off of their bodies before going inside the beach house.
Inside, Alissa cracked open a cherry Coke and stuck a straw in it. She turned around for one second and when she turned back to grab the can, she realized that he was already drinking it. She sighed and went over to him, trying to regain possession of the can of soda, but he held it above his head, just out of her reach. Alissa had her hand on the can and was about to take it back from him, but he had taken the opportunity to kiss her lips sweetly before he gave it back to her. His lips tasted like the Coke that he had stolen, but she didn't mind.
Suddenly, Matt's phone was resting on the countertop and it started buzzing repeatedly, Shane's face popping up on the screen with caller I.D. he didn't pick up the phone, and the lock screen showed that he had 17 missed calls from Shane. Alissa laughed at the number at first, as it was obvious they had a raging romance, but then was slightly worried that something was going very, very wrong down in Miami. She tossed him his phone and instructed him to call Shane back. They were both nervous to hear what the reason was for the 17 calls, but Alissa tried to convince herself that it was just because Matt left
at his lunch hour without a warning, and was there without anybody knowing. Shane probably thought he had gotten kidnapped by the cartel again. Alissa was sipping her Coke for just a moment before she heard Shane pick up on the second ring. She decided to give them space, and she hopped in the shower.
About fifteen minutes later, she wrapped her towel around her body and put on his dress shirt with a pair of underwear. She rolled up the sleeves of his shirt, smelling the savory scent of his cologne, still present on the collar. She walked back out to the living room and took another sip of her soda, just as he was just hanging up with Shane.
"So, what's going on back in the Sunshine State?"
"Shane was worried about me. He sounded like my mother, to be honest."
"And it was a 15-minute conversation?"
"He was going on and on about how he thought I was kidnapped, killed, in any dangerous situation without any backup, pretty much worst-case scenario kind of stuff. I mean, you can't blame him because I did just disappear, and he cares about me. He denies it, he does, but I know he always thinks about my safety when he does stupid things, or when I do stupid things. This, though, was not a stupid decision."
"Coming here, no, not telling anybody, yes. This doesn't have to be Romeo and Juliet, you know."
"It would be nice!"
"No, it kind of wouldn't, because they both end up dead in the end, which is like, three days after they meet and decide to get married. It was almost like Shakespeare was trying to make fun of teenage or young love, as everything in the story happened so fast. Pop culture has made the story like some heroic thing, but it was actually a comedy if you read it right."
"It's hot how you know that."
"Hey, what can I say?" Alissa said, draping her arms around his shoulders. "I paid attention in English class."
Just then, Matt's phone rang again, as if on cue. He hesitantly picked it up, the call coming from his boyfriend. In total, since he left, this was the 19th call. Given that the previous 17 were about him freaking out as to where Matt had gone and if he had dropped off the face of the earth, he picked up this one because he knew it would be important. Or at least he hoped so.
