The strange thing, then, was how it didn't feel at all inevitable. Somehow, it was the biggest surprise of her life. It was all a jumble of opposites tumbling together in a way that left her helpless to analyze any of them. Comfortable, familiar... but also electric and new. Gentle at the same time it was extreme, both soothing and overwhelming. It was like every nerve ending in her body was lit up with dozens of conflicting stimuli simultaneously.
All she was really sure of was the Danielness of him, that core of something pure, something better than anything she'd known before. He belonged to a more excellent world than the one where she resided, and while they were part of each other, she felt like she was allowed to be there with him.
She knew her past experience with relationships was quite limited by most people's standards, so she didn't have much to compare this to. She'd always thought of sex as a single event that had a defined end, an effort at physical gratification that sometimes satisfied and sometimes did not.
This experience didn't fit into the same category on any level. It was less an event and more an ongoing exploration of each other, a satisfaction of curiosity, a fascination over each little detail discovered. It wasn't about gratification, but there was no need that wasn't met, whether it was physical or something less definable.
She searched for the right word as they lay kissing quietly, patiently now, with the light turning red around the edges of the curtain. She wasn't sure what to label this emotion that filled her so entirely that she thought it might stretch her skin. It was a little like that bubbly feeling that had left her smiling at the thought of him but multiplied by thousands, millions, and then fired in a crucible until every impurity, every lesser sensation, was burned out, leaving only this behind. She didn't have a name for it. The closest she could think of was joy.
"I love you," he whispered against her lips. "I love you."
Maybe that was the word. She'd just never thought its definition could be so... huge.
"Daniel," she murmured.
"You don't have to say anything back. I just needed to say that out loud. I might have exploded had I tried to keep it in. I will probably have to say it again soon. You are forewarned." He laughed.
She smiled. "I never want to go back to having nothing to lose. I'm glad I have you as my liability. I'm grateful. I'd have you as anything."
She laid her head against his chest and listened to his breath moving in and out. For so long now, breathing had been her priority. If she could have spoken to the woman she was even just a month ago, she knew that woman would have been terrified of expanding that priority to include another set of lungs. That woman would have run away from needing anything more than her own life. But what she would have missed! Alex couldn't even remember what she'd been holding on to back then. This was the kind of life worth fighting to keep.
"I think I was probably twelve, maybe thirteen, when I sort of gave up on living an extraordinary life," he mused thoughtfully, running his fingers in aimless patterns through her hair. "That's probably about the age that everyone starts to grow up and leave fantasy behind. You realize you're never going to discover that you're actually an alien, adopted by those prosaic human parents, with amazing superpowers that will save the world." He chuckled. "I mean, you know that much earlier, but you can't quite let go, not for years. And then the world beats you down a little, and some of the color goes out of life, and you settle for reality... I think I did a decent job of it. I found plenty of happiness in the drab, everyday world. But I want you to know--this time with you has been extraordinary. There has been terror, yes, but along with it, there's been a kind of joy I didn't know existed. And it's because you are extraordinary. I'm so glad you found me. My life was destined to change drastically, it seems, in one way or another. I'm just so grateful that it got to be with you."
Her throat was tight, and she marveled as she blinked furiously to keep the moisture in her eyes from pooling. She'd cried in grief, in pain, in loneliness, and even in fear, but this was the first time in her life she'd had tears of joy in her eyes. It seemed a strange response, something she'd never truly taken at face value when she'd read about it. This was the first time she'd understood that joy could be even more severe than pain.
She would happily have never left the bed, but eventually they had to eat. Daniel didn't complain, but she could tell he would be pleased when he had access to real food again. It was strange, as they sat at the little table in the alcove eating jerky, peanuts, and chocolate chip cookies, laughing and scratching the dogs' ears--of course they'd caved quickly and brought Einstein and Lola inside; if you were going to break and enter, you might as well do it in style--to think that they didn't have to get back into the Batmobile and drive tensely through the night again. They had a dozen empty hours ahead of them, open to fill in any way they wanted. She had a fairly good idea of what they would probably choose to do, but the point was the freedom. It felt too good to be true.
So, naturally, Kevin had to call.
"Hey, Danny, you guys good?" she heard him say. His voice was, as always, penetrating.
"I'm excellent," Daniel said. Alex shook her head at him. No need to elaborate.
"Uh, great. You got to the McKinleys', I presume."
"Yeah. The place hasn't changed."
"Good. That means it still belongs to them. Did you get enough rest?"
"Er, yes. Thanks for inquiring."
Alex sighed, knowing Kevin would never ask just to be polite. Too good to be true, indeed. She held out her hand at the same time that she heard Kevin say, "Let me talk to Oleander."
Daniel looked confused, clearly not following, but he handed her the phone.
"Let me guess," Alex said. "You need us to join you as soon as possible."
"Yes."
The corners of Daniel's lips turned down.
"What did Deavers do?" Alex asked.
"Nothing... and I don't like it. Because of course he's doing something, but he's being more cautious now. He's not letting me see anything, because he guesses that I'm watching. He must be making calls from other people's offices so I can't hear. What did the e-mail say?"
She recited it to him word perfect; she'd known he would want the details, so she'd memorized it.
"Not bad, Ollie, not bad. Maybe a little smart for me, but that's okay."
"So what are you thinking?"
"I want to strike within the week, which means you need to get here and get set to move at the same time."
She sighed heavily. "Agreed."
"Is the Suburban still there?"
"Um, I haven't checked yet."
"Why not?" he demanded.
"I slept in."
"You need to toughen up, sweetheart. The beauty sleep can wait for a few weeks."
"I'd like to be in top form for this."
"Yeah, yeah. When can you move?"
"Where are we going exactly?"
"I've got a place for us to crash. Do you have something to write with?"
He gave her an address. It was in a part of DC she wasn't familiar with. She thought the area he was sending them to was in a rather posh part of town, but that didn't fit with her idea of a bolt-hole. She must be picturing the wrong neighborhood. She'd been out of the city for a while.
"Okay, let me get our stuff together. We'll leave as soon as we can... if we have another car option available."
"You'll need to stop outside Atlanta sometime after nine a.m. I found a place for Lola."
"What did you tell them? About the bullet hole in her leg, I mean?"
"You were in a carjacking. Both you and the dog were injured. You're heading to Atlanta to stay with your mother for a while, but she's allergic. You're very traumatized, and they shouldn't ask about it. Your name is Andy Wells, and they know you'll pay cash. I'm your concerned brother in this scenario, by the way."
"Nice."
"Of course. Now go check the garage and call me back."
"Wilco, sir," she said sarcas
tically.
He hung up on her.
"Are we really going to steal the McKinleys' car?" Daniel asked.
"If we're lucky, yes."
He sighed.
"Look, we'll leave the Humvee in the garage. It's got to be worth four or five Suburbans at least. If we aren't able to bring their car back, they won't take a loss, right?"
"I suppose. Kevin won't like his favorite plaything being offered as collateral."
"That part's just the gravy."
The house key fit the garage door. Daniel promised that inside and just to the right of the door, next to the light switch, there would be a little hook with two sets of car keys hanging from it. He flipped the switch.
Alex gasped. "I've died and gone to heaven."
"Huh, they got a new car," Daniel said, less excited. "I guess the old Suburban must have finally quit."
Alex moved around the vehicle, stroking its side with her fingertips. "Look at this, Daniel! Have you ever seen anything more beautiful?"
"Um, yes? It's just a silver SUV, Alex. It looks exactly like every third car on the road."
"I know! Isn't that fantastic? And look at this!" She towed him around the car and pointed to a little chrome plaque by the taillight.
He stared at her, totally confused. "It's a hybrid? So?"
"It's a hybrid!" she half sang, throwing her arms around him. "This is like Christmas!"
"I had no idea you were so green."
"Pssh. You know how many times we're going to have to stop for gas in this thing? Twice! Maybe three times, max, all the way to DC. And look--just look at those gorgeous plates!" She pointed with both hands, part of her noting that she must look like a game-show hostess.
"Yes, they're Virginia plates. The McKinleys live in Alexandria most of the year, Alex. That's not a huge surprise."
"This car is going to be invisible in DC! It's like a stealth bomber. If anyone manages to follow the trail we left in the Texan Batmobile, they'll hit a dead end now. This is a beautiful thing, Daniel, and I don't think you're fully appreciating what amazing luck this is."
"I don't like stealing from friends," he grumbled.
"The McKinleys are nice people?"
"Very nice. They were lovely to my family."
"So they probably wouldn't want you to die, right?"
He gave her a dark look. "No, probably not."
"I'm sure, if they knew the whole story, they would want you to borrow this car."
"Borrow implies we're bringing it back."
"Which of course we will. Unless we're dead. Do you think anything but death could keep Kevin from retrieving his favorite ride?"
Daniel was abruptly much more serious. He folded his arms across his chest and turned to face the car rather than her. "Don't joke about that."
Alex was a little confused by his mood shift. "I'm not actually joking," she clarified. "I was trying to make you feel better about taking the car. We'll bring it back if we can, I promise."
"Just... don't talk about dying. Not like that. So... casually."
"Oh. Sorry. It's just, you know, laugh about it or cry about it, that's the only choice. I'd rather laugh while I can."
He looked down at her from the corner of his eye, his posture still rigid for a moment. Then suddenly he softened, freeing one hand to place it on the side of her face.
"Maybe we don't do what Kevin wants. Maybe we just stay here."
She put her hand over his. "We would if we could. They'd find us eventually."
He nodded, almost to himself.
"Okay, then. Shall we start loading?"
"Sure; let me call Kevin first."
Daniel started shifting bags from the Humvee to the Toyota while Alex enthused about the car to Kevin. Kevin wasn't much more excited than Daniel, but he got it immediately.
"That's great, kid. Now hurry up. The clock is ticking."
"We don't want to get to Atlanta before nine, so we don't need to leave here till, what, two a.m.?"
"All right. So I'll expect you here around five p.m."
"Counting down the seconds," she gushed facetiously. The car--or the afternoon with Daniel--had put her in an ebullient mood.
"I'm glad you'll be driving all night," Kevin said. "I think I like you better sleep-deprived." With that, he hung up on her again.
"I should probably walk Einstein," Alex mused. "Redo Lola's bandages. Pack up the food. Then we should try to force ourselves to get a nap. We're flipping our sleeping routine again."
"I suppose I'm not allowed to walk the dog," Daniel said.
"Sorry, America's Most Wanted. My sad little face is better than yours right now, beard or no beard."
"It's dark out--are you sure it's safe for you to go alone?"
"I won't be alone. I'll have a supernaturally intelligent attack dog and a SIG Sauer P220."
He almost smiled. "Tough luck for the hungry gators."
She hid her frown. Alligators. She hadn't been thinking about things like that. Well, she'd stay away from the water. And hopefully Kevin had trained Einstein for more than just human attackers.
The walk wasn't long, just enough for Einstein to stretch his legs a little. She couldn't stop thinking about giant reptiles. The road was black, but she didn't want to use a flashlight. She saw no headlights or house lights, heard nothing but swampy noises. It was still hot enough to have the perspiration rolling down her temples, but she was glad she'd brought the hoodie--the mosquitoes were definitely active.
When she returned, the Toyota was in front of the house and the Humvee invisible inside the garage. Daniel had taken care of everything but Lola's dressings. Alex did that, trying to make her work look professional. Hopefully the boarding place would believe a vet had tended her. She stroked Lola's ears sadly. It would be better for Lola to be somewhere people could take care of her, but Alex would miss her. She wondered what would happen to the dog if they weren't able to come back for her. Lola was beautiful. Someone would want her. Alex remembered imagining taking Lola home with her in some safe, unlikely future. If only.
Alex set the alarm clock by the bed for 1:45, but it was obvious that Daniel wasn't interested in stocking up on sleep.
"We're going to regret this around eight a.m.," she promised him as his lips trailed down her sternum.
"I won't ever regret this," he insisted.
He was probably right. Given the abbreviated timeline they were working with, it didn't make sense to waste even a second she got to have with him. Happiness with a deadline, just like she'd thought before. Only the happiness was greater now. And the deadline was crueler.
CHAPTER 23
Alex did manage to get a little bit of sleep, maybe thirty minutes by the time the alarm sounded. Just enough that she was completely dragging as they set off. Daniel was more alert, so he took the first shift and she reclined the passenger seat as far back as it would go. The seats were much more comfortable, the suspension smoother, and it was easier to doze. The dogs seemed happy in the back, as if they appreciated the new ride, too.
She was herself again by the time they got to the dog-boarding facility north of Atlanta. It was after nine thirty; they were running a little behind, thanks to some construction delays on I-65.
Daniel stayed with the car as she carried Lola into the front office. It was a casual place, homey, with lots of fenced acres lining the road in. The dogs that ran alongside the car as they passed looked happy and healthy. Of course, Lola wouldn't be running anywhere for a while.
The man behind the desk was all sympathy as Alex came in. He obviously had linked her to the reservation before she introduced herself as Ms. Wells. She followed patiently as he showed her the spacious kennel Lola would occupy and explained the visiting vet's schedule. She thanked him and paid him for a month in advance, then gave Lola one last hug. As Kevin had promised, the man never commented on Lola's injury in a specific way, and he didn't mention Alex's face. Twenty minutes later, she and Daniel were back on the road. Alex was
glad it was her turn to drive. She needed something to concentrate on so she wouldn't think about leaving Lola behind.
She thought Daniel would crash, but he was still bright-eyed and in a talkative mood. Or maybe he could see how she was trying to fight off the sadness and wanted to help. Knowing him, that was probably it.
"You know almost everything about me from that stupid file," he complained. "But there's so much I don't know about you."
"I've actually told you most of it. When my life wasn't bizarre, it was pretty boring."
"Tell me something embarrassing about you in high school."
"Everything about me was embarrassing in high school. I was a huge nerd."
"Sounds sexy."
"Oh, really? My mother cut my hair at home and I had the most outrageous bangs the nineties had ever seen."
"Please tell me there's a picture."
"You wish. When my mother died, I burned all the incriminating stuff."
"Who was your first boyfriend?"
Alex laughed. "Roger Markowitz. He took me to senior prom. I had the most totally awesome puffy sleeves on my dress. Electric blue, naturally. Roger tried to slip me the tongue in the limo on the way to the ballroom, but he was so nervous that he threw up on me. I spent the whole dance in the ladies' room trying to clean up. I broke up with him that night. One might describe it as an epic romance."
"What a tearjerker!"
"I know. Romeo and Juliet had nothing on us."
Daniel laughed. "Who was your first serious relationship?"
"Serious? Wow. Hmm, I don't know if anyone would qualify besides Bradley. First year of med school at Columbia."
"You went to Columbia med?" he asked.
"I was a very brainy nerd."
"I'm impressed. Back to Bradley."
"Do you want to hear something really and truly embarrassing?"
"Very much."
"The reason I was first attracted to him..." She paused. "Maybe I shouldn't admit this."
"It's too late to turn back. You have to tell me now."
She took a deep breath. "Okay, fine. He looked like Egon. You know, from Ghostbusters? Just exactly like that, bouffant hair, round glasses, everything."
Daniel worked to keep a straight face. "Irresistible."
"You have no idea. So hot."
"How long were you together?"
"Through that first summer. Then I won a scholarship in my second year. We both applied, and he thought he was a shoo-in. He didn't take it well when I, as he put it, took it from him. He went in and demanded to see our scores. Something I noticed multiple times throughout my wild and crazy romantic period: lots of guys don't like girls to be smarter than they are."
The Chemist Page 34
