She nods against my mouth, and I feel the quake in her body before I taste the salt on her lips.
“Tears?” I choke, searching her watery eyes before looking back to the limo.
But instead of finding some douche I need to murder, it’s Baxter’s wife in the open door. And she’s waving at us with a big smile while the other three girls filling the space around her stare, mouths gaping wide.
Girls. That’s who she was out with after hours.
I raise a hand to them in a half wave acknowledging that I’ve got her, and then my focus is back on Natalie. When we get inside, I drop onto the couch and pull her into my lap. “Why are you crying?”
Another tear slips down her cheek and the smile she gives me breaks something inside me I didn’t know I had.
“I did something stupid, Vaughn.” Her words are a whisper and she can’t look at me.
Is she talking about her date?
I can barely breathe through the raw pain in my chest. I never should have let her go. But it’s not too late, because she’s not cuddled up in his bed. She’s here with me. Her fingers are wrapped in my shirt. And I’m the one she kissed.
I cup her cheek in my palm and bring those tragic blue eyes back to mine, so she can see that I mean what I’m about to say. “Whatever it is, it doesn’t matter. If you need to tell me, I’ll listen. But it won’t change anything. Do you understand?”
Her chin starts to quiver, and I can’t take it. “Allie, you’re killing me.”
Eyes locked with mine, she slowly shakes her head. “I didn’t mean to do it. I knew better, but somehow… I fell in love with you anyway.”
The chaos that’s been tearing through my mind comes to a stop. “What?”
I heard her wrong. She said she did something stupid. She was out with some guy. She—
“I’m in love with you,” she whispers again. “I know it’s not what we talked about. I know we aren’t together anymore, and if you don’t feel the same way it’s okay, but I don’t—”
My mouth comes down over hers in a crush and I kiss her like she’s the air I need to breathe. Like I’m never going to let her go. And then she’s shifting in my arms, pressing her sweet curves into me, fisting her hands in my hair.
God, I fucking love that. I love the tug just sharp enough to tell me this isn’t some dream. It’s real. It’s not over. She doesn’t belong to someone else.
I’m devouring her. She tastes like tears and sugary cocktails and Allie, and I can’t get enough.
Except then that particular flavor combination registers and I realize it’s going to have to be enough. Because I don’t know how much she’s had to drink, which means I don’t know how she’s going to feel about this tomorrow.
I love you…
I don’t know if it’s how she really feels or if it’s how she feels right now.
Drawing back, I press my forehead against hers and take a slow breath. She dips her head, seeking more of my kiss. I give it to her, but softly.
“Allie, baby, we need to slow down.”
She shakes her head, coming back for another kiss it nearly kills me to cut short.
Stroking her cheek, I meet her eyes. “I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life. But not like this. Not when there’s a chance you’ll regret it tomorrow.”
“Nooo,” she says in this whimpering voice that’s so fucking cute, I can’t help but laugh. “I’m not drunk. Okay, I’m a little drunk. Do you know Margo?”
I smooth the hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear. “No, I don’t think so.”
“She makes really good drinks.”
“Yeah?” Adjusting her in my arms, I push up and carry her toward her bedroom. “Maybe I’ll get to try one sometime.”
“After you win the Cup,” she murmurs, resting her head on my shoulder. I can feel her body going lax. “Before you leave.”
I can’t think about that right now.
She presses her hand over my heart. “Before we leave. Imma come too.”
I almost trip carrying her. But I get my shit together and, holding her closer, carry her to her bed. “We can talk about that tomorrow.”
I set her down and help her with her shoes and socks. Her sweatshirt. Damn, I love her in this sweatshirt. My little jock.
“Will you stay with me?” Her eyes are sleepy but pleading. “I haven’t been sleeping so good lately.”
Me either. “Yeah, sweetheart, I’ll stay.”
Chapter 24
Natalie
My bed is empty.
He was here when I got home last night. Waiting for me. I told him I loved him… and he stayed. I fell asleep to the steady beat of his heart and the heat of his big body wrapped around me. But now that spot where he was is empty and—
“Morning.”
I gasp, twisting around.
Vaughn’s sitting in the chair in the corner of my room, chin resting on his fists. He’s wearing his jeans and a fitted, deep vee T-shirt, and as incredibly hot as that is, he looks exhausted.
“I thought you were gone.” I sit up and see that I’m wearing a sleep tank and panties. Not what I went to bed in.
“You got hot,” he croaks out, his eyes locked on the sheet covering what I’m guessing is the reason he’s over there instead of still in bed with me.
And yeah, I’ve got a fuzzy memory of stumbling around kicking off my jeans and T-shirt. Losing my bra. And then crawling back into bed.
“Umm… How long have you been in that chair?”
“Few hours.” He swallows, the thick muscles of his neck working up and down. “You’re wearing my number.”
The panties with Vaughn’s number on them. The ones that drove him insane the night I wore them, the night everything fell apart.
“I’m a fan?” I offer weakly, heat pushing into my cheeks, because I really didn’t think he’d see them. I was just missing him and, silly as it was, they made me feel a little bit better.
Rubbing his big hand over his jaw, he nods. “A fan, huh? You still feel that way this morning?”
I nod. Glad for the opening, but still nervous. What if he doesn’t want what I want… or at least not all of it?
Only one way to find out.
“I do.” I think I might feel that way for the rest of my life. “Vaughn, I—I made a mistake. Everything with you was so much more than I expected. More than I kept telling myself I could have. But I wanted it. I wanted you. I just got—”
“Scared.” No judgment, only the gruff acknowledgement that he understands. More evidence that this man deserves more credit than I’ve given him. But that’s been my problem from the start.
“I was so afraid of what being with you might mean—what I thought it would cost me—I couldn’t see what was right in front of me, what it was actually like. The ways you’ve been putting me first, showing me that I matter, from the very beginning.” I look away, blinking back the emotion filling my eyes. I pushed him away. I hurt him. “You’ve never once made me feel like an afterthought. Or that what was happening in my life didn’t count. You watched my games and remembered my friends’ names when you hadn’t even met them. You held me when I was scared and let me go when I thought it was what I needed… But Vaughn, it’s not what I need. I love you and I’m asking you to give me another chance. To let me be there for you the way you’re there for me.”
He takes a deep breath, and I get the sense he’s holding himself back. “Natalie, you’re asking me for another chance?” Running his hand down his face, he shakes his head. “I’d give you anything you want. But what are we talking about here? The next few months or—fuck, baby, please tell me you’re talking about longer.”
Crawling out of bed, I move to his lap. His eyes flick to my panties and he bites his lip, but instead of reaching for me, he fists his hands and leans back to make room for me against his chest.
I stroke his jaw, loving the coarseness against my fingertips. The ways he’s rough around the edges in
some ways and so soft in others. “I’m talking about where you go, I go… If that’s what you want?”
Chapter 25
Vaughn
If that’s what I want?
She has to ask?
I’m off the chair in a heartbeat and then Natalie’s back on her bed with me following her down. “Baby, I’m going to show you what I want…”
Eyes wide, lips parted on a pretty little gasp, she’s sexy as fuck. “I want you any way I can have you…”
She could have skipped that whole amazing speech, shot me a glance over her shoulder and said, “Okay.” And I’d have been all in, knowing that I was the luckiest guy on the planet.
I grab my T-shirt and pull it off. “I want you in every way…”
“You do?” she gasps, wiggling beneath me to get her tank top off.
“Oh yeah.” Christ, her tits are perfect. Her tight little nipples sweet on my tongue. “But not for a few months…”
I’ve got my fly open, and she’s using her feet to help push my jeans and boxer briefs down. “How long?”
Forever.
“Not a couple weeks…” Kicking them free, I back off the bed far enough to get a look at her hot-as-fuck panties. I almost creamed myself when she got up last night and started shimmying out of her clothes. Bending over and—God help me—flashing my number stitched across her ass like a claim.
Carefully, carefully, I inch them down her thighs and off her feet. Then, pushing her knees apart, I move into the space between.
Her knees slide up my sides, one pretty foot hooking against my thigh while the other climbs higher. Her skin is like silk.
Pulling back, I position my cock so it’s notched against her. I’m propped on my forearms by her head. I want to see her eyes while I love her. I want her to see mine. “I’m never going to let you go.”
A tear slips from the corner of her eye as she smiles up at me. “I’m yours.”
“Mine.” Saying it calls to a primal part of me, and I can’t wait anymore.
I’ve had her hard and fast, I’ve had her desperate and needy, I’ve had her against nearly every wall and horizontal surface her place has to offer, but I’ve never had her like this. I’ve never had her when I was as deep in her heart as I was in her body, and I want it to last.
I sink into her slick heat, savoring every inch I claim, every soft gasp and tight clench. When I’m as deep as I can be, our fingers thread together over her head. I’m still swimming in the sea of her eyes when I start to move. Pulling back as slowly as I sank in and then doing it again.
“Tell me. Baby, I need to hear it again.”
“I love you,” she whispers.
“Christ, you don’t know what hearing you say that does to me. How much it means.” I’m not the best. I’m not first. I’ve fucked up every step of the way. But she loves me anyway.
Rocking into her, I push her toward release. I work my body for hers until I feel the clench of her around me, the catch of her breath, and the tightening of her fingers with mine.
“Allie.” She’s coming apart, but our eyes are still locked together. I don’t want to lose the contact. Not before I tell her. “Natalie, baby, I love you.”
I’ve never said it before. The words should have felt clumsy in my mouth, but they felt like they belonged there. More right than firing a puck that hits dead center. So right, I need to say them again.
“I love you.” I say it for her. Low and fierce. Rough and deep. I whisper it against her mouth and growl it against her neck. I swear it as she shatters to my confession. Her body gripping mine with rhythmic pulses, my name on her lips and my heart in her hands.
Natalie
It’s a good thing Vaughn has a late practice, because I’m not ready to let him go.
We’ve been lazing in bed, touching, breathing each other in. I fan my fingertips over the rough stubble of his jaw and brush my thumb against his lips.
This man has the most perfect mouth in all the land.
Catching my thumb between his teeth, he gives it a quick nip and then a slow suck. He groans and, gripping my ass, pulls me over his hard-on.
A thought comes to me and I press a hand against his chest.
He raises a brow.
“Hey, I never asked, but what were you doing here last night?”
His nostrils flare as he blows out a breath before meeting my eyes. “Your fucking brother told me about your date and I kind of lost it.”
Greg must have a death wish or something, because the look on Vaughn’s face even now, with me lying naked on top of him, is not a comforting one. “Is he—”
“He’s fine. I told you I wouldn’t mess with him, even if the guy can’t stop messing with me.”
Wait— “He told you, but he didn’t have the balls to tell me?”
Vaughn’s chin jerks back, his brows furrowing deep. “What the hell does that mean?”
I explain about the night before and when I’m through, Vaughn pushes the sexed-up, messy morning curls from my face and searches my eyes. He gets it.
“The second I saw you in Vancouver I started warning guys off with looks that promised death. I would never have sat there with two other guys.”
“You would have left?”
The scoff he lets out says no. “I would have thrown you over my shoulder like a caveman and carried you out.”
“Aww, you say the sweetest things.” I mean it.
Hands coasting over my hips, he asks, “So what happened?”
“I went to Greg’s apartment to tear him a new one, but Julia was having a girls’ night, so I stayed instead.”
He starts to smile. “And that’s how you ended up stumbling in after two a.m. with a limo full of girls.”
“They didn’t want me to have to take a car alone and Julia probably didn’t totally trust me not to hunt down her husband and maim him.” I bite my lip, meeting his eyes. “But what were you doing here… after two a.m. when you thought I was out on a date?”
“Fighting for you… but trying to fight fair.”
Butterflies stir up in my belly and my voice is a little breathy when I ask what he means.
Vaughn raises his arms and scrubs his hands through his hair. “I mean, I’ve been going fucking nuts without you. And the idea of another man taking you out, doing the things we haven’t done or worse, the things we have… I could barely handle it. Your brother told me you’d met someone and it might be serious.”
What!? Oh, Greg is a dead man.
Only Vaughn’s not done. “I thought… if I saw you with him… if you looked happy, really happy… I might be able to let you go.”
And with this those few words I forget about Greg and let go of the righteous pissed building inside me… because this is what matters. This minute. This man.
My heart feels too full and my lungs too weak. “Because you wanted me to be happy?”
That steady gray stare doesn’t waver. “More than my next breath.”
I love him.
“And if I hadn’t looked happy? What would you have done then?” I ask softly, but the answer is right there in his eyes.
“Then I would have been waiting at your door when he walked you up. I would have told him, sorry, but he was out of luck.” He drags his bottom lip through his teeth, and I squirm a little. “And then I would have had you moaning my name against that door before he got back to his car.”
“You wouldn’t even wait until he was gone?” I whisper.
“Baby, I wouldn’t even wait until we were inside.” Heat rushes through me, because he’s serious. Sliding his fingers into the hair at the back of my neck, he strokes his thumb over the line of my jaw. “Natalie, if I’d thought that was my chance, I wouldn’t have waited a single second.”
Vaughn
Baxter gives me a wide berth when I show up to practice. But even fresh off a concussion, I can see he’s bristling, ready for a fight. Fucker.
Lucky for him, I’ve promised my girl I wouldn’t t
ake him apart limb from limb.
There is zero chance he doesn’t know about last night. His wife was in the car watching when Natalie laid that kiss on me. And I’m pretty sure she and her friends were all still gawking when we went into her place together.
Everyone’s getting their equipment on and filing out of the locker room, but Baxter hangs back. Rux cuts a look my way and shakes his head, leaving us alone.
I cross my arms and jut my chin at him. “Something on your mind?”
Like that fucked-up date you sent your sister on last night? Or how you lied about her being in a new relationship?
“I thought you let her go.”
I left her alone for close to two miserable months. And it nearly broke us both. “Yeah? I thought Natalie was seriously stoked about her date—dates?—last night. Looks like we were both wrong.” I pinch the bridge of my nose and then shoot him a hard glare. “You have any idea how shitty you made her feel?”
He rolls his eyes and blows out a pissy breath. “I thought she’d—”
“You thought she’d come after you, which is why you pulled the pussy move and snuck out of Belfast without bothering to make sure she was okay with what you’d done. You didn’t even make sure she got home okay. Small fucking wonder she’s got so many issues about being with a player.”
He coughs, hands coming up beside him. “I was giving her some time to cool off. And those were damn decent guys I picked for her. Short fucking notice too.”
It clicks. This was about him warning me off. He lied to me and then tried to make it the truth.
“You dumb fuck. You know what she saw? More assholes willing to jump through outrageous hoops for you. Not her. You.”
“That’s not how it was. These guys have tickets to anything they want to see. They work in one way or another with players all the time.”
“Yeah, but that’s not the same as being a part of your actual life. Being your brother-in-law. Seriously, man. Some dude asks you to play the dating game with his sister… sit there with two other dudes and let her pick… you going to do that?”
DIRTY SECRET: A Slayers Hockey Novel Page 16
