by Eden Darry
“I’m so sorry, Sadie. I’m so sorry for what happened to you.” Fin lifted Sadie’s hand and Sadie smiled as Fin gently kissed her palm. “I love you.”
“I love you too. We’re going to be okay.”
Fin nodded.
“I mean it. I won’t let that bastard win.”
“The police want to talk to me. About our routine and whether I’ve noticed anyone hanging around.”
“They asked me the same thing. Have you noticed anything odd?” Sadie asked.
“No. Have you?”
“Maybe.” Sadie wasn’t sure how to continue. She was bound by certain rules about her clients and had to be careful what she divulged. Even to Fin.
“Sadie.” Fin ducked her head and met Sadie’s eyes. “Please tell me.”
“I had a client a few months ago, Lance Sherry. Some things came to light which meant I couldn’t represent him unless he changed his plea. He wouldn’t.”
“He was guilty.” Fin wasn’t a lawyer, but she’d been around enough of them over the years she could probably pass for one.
“I can’t tell you that, Fin. He sort of threatened me—”
“What?”
Fin’s voice took on the calm deadly tone Sadie knew well. Before Fin could explode, Sadie hurried on. “It happens, Fin. I didn’t take it seriously. I thought he was just mouthing off.”
“So you tell him you can’t represent him, and he kicks off at you and, what, leaves?”
Sadie shifted in the bed. “No, he came to chambers one night after work. The security guard threw him out.”
Fin jumped up off the bed and began to pace. “That fucking piece of shit. Who is he? What’s his name again, Sadie? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because of this, Fin. I knew you’d lose your temper. Please sit down. My head hurts and I’m tired.”
Sadie watched Fin deflate as quickly as she’d exploded. She hurried back to the bed and took Sadie in her arms. “I’m sorry, babe, I’m sorry. I was so scared.”
Sadie burrowed further into Fin’s arms and sighed when she began to stroke her hair. This was the Fin she needed right now, the Fin who made her feel better about everything.
“I told the police about him. They’re going to pick him up,” Sadie said into Fin’s shoulder.
“Was it him?” Fin asked, still stroking her hair.
“I’m not sure. I think so, but it was dark and I was scared. He wore a hoodie and a scarf around his face. But…I think so.”
Sadie didn’t tell Fin his voice sounded familiar too. If she did, Fin would want to know what he said, and she didn’t think she could tell her that. It didn’t stop her hearing the words in her head, though, over and over again. Going to fuck you then kill you, bitch. She’d told the police and that was enough.
“I called your parents. They’re on their way.”
“Thank you. Fin?”
“Yeah?”
“I know you won’t want to, but I’d like to stay with my parents for a while. I don’t want to go back to the house.”
She felt Fin take a deep breath and almost smiled. “Okay. I understand.”
“He took my purse. It had my keys and my driving license in it. He knows where we live.” She shivered and Fin held her tighter.
“Shh, it’s okay. I’ll get the locks changed. You and the kids can stay at your parents until they find him.”
“And you.”
“Sadie…”
“I mean it, Fin. He’s dangerous. I don’t want you staying there either.”
She felt Fin’s body tense beneath her, and then she sighed.
“Okay, fine. We’ll all stay with your parents. It’ll be great. Your dad, especially, will be pleased to have me as a house guest,” Fin said sarcastically.
Sadie elbowed her playfully and smiled. “Don’t be an arsehole.”
Sadie was glad her parents were coming, but all she wanted at the moment was to stay like this, with Fin hugging her and stroking her hair. For the first time all evening she felt safe.
* * *
Fin went outside to call Sally and asked her to wake the kids and take them over to hers. After finding out Lance Sherry had keys to their house, she wanted them out of there. The police promised to swing by a few times over the night and check on things, which made her feel a bit better.
The doctors wanted to keep Sadie overnight for observation and were moving her up to the ward. Fin couldn’t get over the sight of her, beaten black and blue. She wanted to scream and shout and hunt down the fucker who’d done it. It wouldn’t help Sadie, though, and would only make things ten times worse. It was only that thought, and the way Sadie’d looked in the hospital bed—so scared and somehow small—that kept Fin from erupting.
She rubbed her eyes and breathed in the cool evening air. She felt someone watching her and turned to see a woman standing close by, smoking a cigarette. The woman smiled and held out the packet. Fin gave up smoking years ago, but right now she thought a fag was just what she needed.
“Cheers,” she said.
The woman nodded and blew out a long stream of grey smoke. “You look like you need one. No offence.”
Fin laughed. “None taken.”
They stood side by side for a while, smoking and watching the cars go by on the main road. After a time the woman dropped her cigarette in the ashtray and went back inside.
Fin mentally ran through everything she’d need to do tomorrow. Drop the kids to school. Pack clothes and stuff for them to take to Sadie’s parents. She’d take enough for a few weeks and hope they didn’t have to stay longer because she might end up killing Treven if they did.
“Smoking kills.”
Speak of the devil.
“Hi, Treven.”
“Where’s Sadie? What happened?” His deep voice was commanding, and when you combined it with his six foot two frame, she imagined he ruled his courtroom completely. The problem was, in her opinion, he ruled his family the same way.
She turned to face him and was shocked to see how scared he looked. She bit off the angry reply she had intended.
“She’s okay. They’re moving her up to a ward overnight. I’ll take you to her.”
“You should be in there with her, not smoking out here.”
Fin fought the urge to snap back. Now wasn’t the time. “Where’s Corine?”
“Parking the car.”
Typical Treven. Everyone took a back seat to his needs. “We should wait for her or she won’t know where we went.”
“You just want to finish your cigarette. My daughter was attacked and you’re standing out here without a care in the world. What’s wrong with you?”
“Fuck you, Treven,” she ground out.
His eyes widened in surprise. She guessed no one ever spoke to him like that.
As if she hadn’t spoken, he pointed at her and said, “I’m going inside to find out what’s happening.”
Just like that, she was dismissed. Fuck, she hated him. The idea of staying in his house made her want to scream.
Chapter Four
Three weeks later
Liam knew something was wrong. Ever since that horrible dream about the bad man. Neither of his parents would tell him the truth because they thought he was still a baby. He wasn’t a baby—Lucy was a baby. He was six.
Even Lucy knew something was wrong because otherwise why would they be living with Granny and Grandad? Especially when Grandad and Mum hated each other so much. That was another thing they thought he didn’t know, but he did. He wasn’t stupid like they seemed to think.
Liam still remembered the dream, and he thought that somehow the bad man got out of the dream and hurt Mummy. He wasn’t sure how a thing like that was possible, but it wouldn’t be the first time it happened.
Once, when he was really little like Lucy, he had a dream that their neighbour Mrs. Cole got hit by a bus and squashed. The next day Mum sat him down and told him in a sad voice that Mrs. Cole had an accident and was in heaven
now. It was a pity because she was a nice lady and always gave him ice pops from her freezer in the summer.
He didn’t tell his mum about that dream because he was worried it might be his fault for dreaming about it. Maybe the bus drove right out of his dream and squashed Mrs. Cole from next door?
Liam didn’t know anyone else who had dreams like that, and he was fairly certain neither of his parents did. He wondered about the bad man from his dream and why he would want to hurt Mummy. He also wondered how he got out of the dream, and if there was any way to keep him in next time. Liam hoped there was, because he had another one last night.
In that dream the bad man came back.
* * *
Sadie could hear Fin and her dad in the other room. This week, they were being coldly polite to each other. Sadie wasn’t sure which she preferred—this, or them bickering. They were driving her crazy.
They’d never got on from the start. The first time Sadie brought Fin home, her father looked her up and down like he was observing something in a Petri dish. Despite what he often said to Sadie, Fin wasn’t stupid and cottoned on quickly that Treven Tate thought she wasn’t good enough for his daughter.
The most frustrating thing—something she could never tell either of them—was her dad and Fin were so much alike. And though they would deny it strenuously, they really did have a lot in common. Like Fin, Treven came from a rough council estate and was raised by a single mother. Unlike Fin’s mum, though, Sadie’s grandmother spent every penny she had making sure her dad got a good education.
Even so, Fin hadn’t done badly either. She’d told Sadie it had been touch and go for a while, when she got in with the wrong crowd and left school without doing any exams. But she sorted herself out and became an upholsterer. Last year, she started her own business. Fin liked to play it down, but Sadie knew she was good. Really good. She was starting to get clients from overseas through recommendations, and Sadie knew it wouldn’t be long before the business was extremely successful.
Sadie wished Fin didn’t feel so inferior all the time. She knew her father didn’t help, always insinuating things and making veiled insults about her intelligence. Although, to be fair, it wasn’t all his doing. Fin liked to needle him whenever possible. Somehow, they always managed to bring out the worst in each other.
For the first week they stayed with her parents, her dad and Fin were on best behaviour. It helped that Fin was out of the house at six, driving across town to drop Liam at school, then going to work, and back at eight after collecting them from Sally. She was too tired to fight with Sadie’s dad.
But when it became clear Lance Sherry had gone to ground and wouldn’t be found as easily as they first thought, they’d hired a childminder closer to Kensington, and Sadie’s mum picked Liam up from school for them. So Fin was around more, and the fighting had escalated.
Sadie hadn’t said anything to Fin yet, but she didn’t think she could ever go back to their house.
She knew Fin changed the locks and Lance Sherry wouldn’t be stupid enough to hang around the house, but all the same, when she thought about going home, her chest got tight and she found it hard to breathe.
The counsellor she was seeing told her this was normal. Panic attacks were common and nothing to be ashamed of. But she could barely manage a trip to the local shop without one of these panic attacks coming on. If someone got too close, or came up behind her on the pavement, she freaked out and she hated herself for it.
She knew it was normal, she’d been through a trauma, blah, blah, blah. Sadie just wanted her life back. She wanted to be able to take the kids to the park without crying when a jogger ran past her. She wanted to go out to dinner with Fin and not freak out if the restaurant lighting was too dim and she couldn’t see other patrons’ faces clearly, terrified Lance Sherry would be seated at one of the tables.
She was sick and tired of constantly wondering where he was and whether he was coming for her to make good on his promise to fuck her and kill her.
In the next room, something crashed to the floor and she screamed.
* * *
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Fin hovered by the door and Sadie wanted to yell at her to go away.
“I’m fine. For the millionth time, Fin,” she snapped and immediately felt horrible. Fin was just trying to help. She’d been next door with Sadie’s dad trying to put together a plastic playhouse for Lucy’s birthday when it fell apart on them. In a way, it was almost good she’d screamed and had a panic attack because it stopped the inevitable shouting match that would have ensued. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you.” She patted the bed beside her.
Fin hesitated, then came in and stretched out alongside her. Sadie snuggled into her. “Fin, we have to get out of this house. Before I kill either you or my dad.”
Fin laughed. “Believe it or not, we’re both trying to be nice to each other. He only called me thick twice today, and I only thought about murdering him once.”
Sadie slapped her belly playfully. “We need to get out of here,” she repeated.
“No argument from me. I outstayed my welcome back in 2002. You want to move back to the house?”
Sadie fought down the panic which bloomed in her chest at the thought of going home. “No. I can’t go back there, Fin. Ever. Even when he’s caught, he’ll still know our address, and he could tell other people. He’s a nasty piece of work, and I’d always be worried who was knocking on the door. Do you think I’m being silly?”
“Of course I don’t think you’re being silly. Besides, you’ve got a lot to deal with at the moment. Whatever you want, we’ll do, okay?”
“I knew there was a reason I married you,” she joked.
“We know it wasn’t for my brains,” Fin said.
“Don’t do that, Fin. You aren’t stupid. I love my dad, but he’s a terrible snob. Don’t let him make you feel bad.”
Fin was silent and Sadie waited, betting she would change the subject. Fin rarely talked about the emotional stuff, especially where it concerned her vulnerabilities.
“I can put the house on the market tomorrow,” Fin said.
“Thank you. My dad offered to help us if we wanted to buy further out this way.”
She felt Fin stiffen. “Do you want to live around here?” Fin asked quietly. Under ordinary circumstances, Fin would have gotten angry at the suggestion, and Sadie loved her for trying so hard not to blow up.
“No. I told him we don’t need any money,” Sadie said. “I knew you wouldn’t want it.”
“He would throw it back in my face every chance he got.”
Sadie didn’t say anything because it was true. “I’ve been thinking about where we’d move to.”
“You want to leave the area, then?”
“Yes. I think so. Do you still want to move out of London?” Fin shifted beneath her and looked down with hope in her eyes. Sadie smiled. “I was thinking we could try the outskirts, maybe? That way, when I go back to work, it won’t be a long commute. Or I could get a job closer to where we live. You’d be able to work from home if we got somewhere with an outbuilding. Though I’m not sure we’d have the budget for that.” Sadie was aware she was rambling. The truth was, she wasn’t sure if this was what she wanted at all. She was feeling scared and vulnerable, and suddenly the idea of Fin’s country dream started to appeal to her in a way it hadn’t before.
If they stayed fairly near to town, it wouldn’t be too much of a change. She was trying to convince herself, she knew.
“Are you sure, babe? I mean, you weren’t interested before. It might be just a reaction to what’s happened.”
Sometimes, Fin was clueless about how Sadie was feeling. Other times, like now, she could read her perfectly.
“It is, partly. But there’s another part of me that thinks it’s a good idea. It would be great for the kids, and we wouldn’t be so far from London that I couldn’t go in whenever I wanted.”
“And work? It’s a longer commute
, maybe a few hours. We couldn’t get anywhere with land in a reasonable distance to town.”
Sadie didn’t want to think about work right now. She’d been signed off and was thinking of handing in her notice, though she hadn’t told Fin yet. She wasn’t sure if she could go back when she’d been attacked right outside her chambers. Her dad would have something to say about it as well. A lot of things to say about it. She didn’t care, though. She’d spent her life doing what pleased him—university, law degree, and then becoming a barrister. He had hopes of her becoming a judge like him, she knew.
Since the attack, she’d felt something inside her shift. She understood how fragile her life was because for a few moments, someone else held it in his hands. Sadie was living her father’s life and maybe she didn’t want to any more. Maybe she wanted some time to figure out what sort of life she did want. Maybe fresh air and country living would help her do that.
“Put the house on the market, Fin. Start looking at places out of London. Just, not too country, though. Okay?”
Fin laughed and squeezed her. “Okay. Not too country. I’ll get on it tomorrow.”
Chapter Five
Fin chose a table near the back of the pub, away from the band tuning their instruments and the rowdy kids playing pool. Kids. She was definitely getting old to be calling people kids, Jesus.
She sipped her lager and grinned when Rose pushed her way through the crowd and started waving like an idiot when she saw Fin. This week, her hair was pink and she wore her multicoloured tights and purple Doc Martens.
Fin met her at school. They hadn’t exactly been friends, but both found themselves outside the head’s office together on a few occasions, Fin for skipping school or mouthing off to a teacher, and Rose for getting another piercing or refusing to wash out the brightly coloured dye from her hair. They lost touch after Fin dropped out and met again in Lips, a women’s bar in town, one night when they were eighteen.
