by Eden Darry
Rachel.
Rachel lay there, her face frozen in fear. She wore a long jagged cut as a necklace, the blood long congealed and turned the colour of rust.
Fin turned at a sound behind her. It was him. Nathaniel Cushion was standing at the foot of the basement stairs. He was smiling at her. He held open his arms as if she were a child and he expected her to run into them. And dear God, she was moving towards him on legs that didn’t belong to her. Any second she would reach him. He was covered in blood. Rachel’s blood. Lance Sherry’s blood. And she was about to walk straight into his arms—
Fin bolted upright and swallowed the scream that threatened to break free. She reached for her phone and saw the time was three fifteen in the morning. She’d managed less than four hours sleep. It seemed to be less every night now.
Fin got up from the bed, careful not to wake Sadie who slept peacefully beside her. As was now becoming her early morning ritual, she checked on the kids to make sure they were safe and in their beds, and she went downstairs.
She padded quietly down the basement stairs and flicked on the light. Satisfied no bodies or Victorian gentlemen lurked, she turned to go back upstairs. Her foot connected with something solid and it skittered underneath the wooden stairs.
Fin walked back around and crouched down, using the torch on her phone to light the area. The object landed in the corner, caught partially under a box no doubt filled with more of other people’s crap.
Fin reached out and snatched the object up. She held it up to the light, and her stomach clenched. It was a scalpel and it looked new. She turned it in her hand and flicked her finger along the edge of the blade. It was sharp. She was lucky—she must have kicked the handle, because the blade was sharp enough to open up her foot.
What was going on? Was Sadie right? Was Liam right? Maybe this place was bad. She couldn’t sleep, she couldn’t eat. She found herself furious with Sadie for no reason and impatient with the kids. Last night she’d been so rude to Rachel, and she had no idea why. It was these dreams, these fucking horrible dreams.
Briefly, Fin wondered if she was having a breakdown. She heard Rachel ask Sadie last night after her outburst. The acoustics in the basement were funny like that—you could hear everything if you stood in the right place. By the far wall she could even hear Lucy playing upstairs in her room.
Something was wrong with this house, wasn’t there?
The bulb above her head popped and went out. Fin fumbled with her phone to switch on the torch just before something hit her from behind.
* * *
Fin opened her eyes. She tried to move her legs but couldn’t, because something heavy lay across them. She could sit up, though, and was relieved to see it was boxes and old furniture that had fallen across her legs—nothing catastrophic as she’d feared. She must have destabilized a pile of it yesterday.
Fin kicked out, shoving the boxes and other detritus off her legs, then stood, brushing her hands down her shorts. Her phone lay on the ground close by, the torchlight still shining, which was handy because the door had swung closed above, sealing off any light.
Fin climbed the stairs and was nearly brained when the door swung inwards. She was blinded though by the torchlight suddenly in her eyes.
“For fuck’s sake, Sadie. Point that somewhere else, would you?” Fin snapped.
“Sorry, sorry.” Sadie switched it off and stepped back. “I heard a loud bang and came downstairs. None of the lights are working.”
“What, anywhere?”
“I tried upstairs and nothing came on.”
The basement must have tripped all the lights, which was odd because most circuits were arranged floor by floor. Still, in a house this old who knew how the electrics were organized. The previous owners had been more worried about how it looked than whether anything actually worked.
Irritated, Fin reached out her hand. “Give me the torch. I’ll go and have a look.”
Sadie handed it over without a word. Which was just as well, because Fin really wasn’t in the mood for her shit right now.
Chapter Twenty-seven
Fin pulled at the collar on her new shirt. The starch rubbed at her neck, and she knew she’d have a red mark tomorrow. She’d had to buy the new shirt because her old ones were too big since she’d lost so much weight.
Sadie fussed and even Fin made an effort to eat, but the weight kept falling off her. Neither of them had said the C-word yet, but Fin knew they were both thinking it. She was waiting for Sadie to suggest a doctor’s visit. It would be the perfect end to a really shitty year, she supposed.
Fin sighed and tugged at her shirt again. Rose had invited them for dinner. She and the dog walker were official. Fin hadn’t wanted to go—she’d barely spoken to Rose in weeks—but Sadie insisted it would be good for them.
Lately, their relationship was creaking. Fin couldn’t seem to stop being annoyed at Sadie, and she had no idea why. Even the sound of her breathing in the night pissed her off. Sadie responded by nagging her even more, so that they’d had two huge fights in the last week alone. They never fought. Not properly anyway, and Fin knew it was mostly her fault, which made her even more angry.
They’d dropped the kids off at Sadie’s parents. Fin waited in the car because she couldn’t face Sadie’s dad. The lack of sleep was making her already short fuse even shorter, and she was sure Treven Tate might be the one to light it for good.
Rose threw open the door with a huge grin on her face, which promptly disappeared as soon as she caught sight of Fin.
“Jesus, Fin, you look like absolute shit.”
Leave it to Rose to call a spade a spade. “Thanks, Rose, can we come in?” Fin thrust a bunch of flowers at her.
Rose’s girlfriend Janey came out of the kitchen holding a large spoon. Fin was relieved she was the one cooking. “Hey, Sadie. We didn’t need to stop at McDonald’s after all.” She pointed at Janey. “Rose isn’t cooking.”
It earned her a punch on the arm from Rose, and Sadie actually laughed. She hadn’t had much reason to laugh lately. Fin felt a stab of guilt.
“Hello again. I think I’m still hung-over from last time.” Janey grinned.
“I think Fin definitely still is. Fin, you’ve wasted away. What happened? Are you sick?”
“Rose!” Janey said. “That’s so rude.”
Rose shrugged. “Well, look at her.”
“I’m not sick, Rose.” Fin glanced at Sadie who couldn’t hide her worry, and there was that guilt again, poking her in the gut. “I haven’t been sleeping well and work’s been hectic.”
Rose nodded, seeming like she would let it drop. “Well, Janey is cooking the most amazing curry for us, and it’s full of butter and cream. You’ll probably put at least ten pounds on before we even get to dessert.”
* * *
Fin huddled with Rose under the awning in the back garden. She took a deep drag of the cigarette and handed it back to Rose. The evening had gone well. Really well. Janey was as lovely as the first time she met her, and Fin had felt more like her old self tonight. Some of the warmth she felt towards Sadie had come back, along with her appetite.
“That curry was lovely. Janey is a great cook,” Fin said, taking a drink from her beer.
“She’s going to give you some to take home. You look like you need it.”
Fin looked at her friend, took the cigarette back. “Give it a rest, Rose.”
“You’re such a fucking knob sometimes.”
Fin grinned. “Do you kiss Janey with that mouth?”
“Kiss more than her mouth and she loves it.” Rose winked salaciously and rubbed her hands together like a dirty old man.
Fin laughed and elbowed her. “You’re so disgusting. I like Janey, you know. A lot. And you look happy.”
“I am,” Rose agreed. “You don’t look very happy, though.”
“I’m all right. Me and Sadie…we’re going through a rough patch is all.”
Rose took back the cigarette, n
early down to the butt now. “Is that all it is? I mean, you’d tell me if it was anything else, wouldn’t you? Like…I don’t know, if you were sick.”
Fin looked at her friend, shocked to see she was welling up. “I’m fine. Christ, Rose, don’t cry.” Fin pulled her into a rough hug and Rose returned it fiercely.
“It’s just, we haven’t spoken much recently. I miss you. Then I saw you tonight and I wondered if you were sick. If that’s why you weren’t returning my texts or calls—”
“I’ve been a shit friend lately, I know.” Fin felt guilty all over again. “I’m not sick. Well, I mean, I don’t think I am.”
Rose raised her head, sniffling. “You don’t think you are?”
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep. I’m horrible to Sadie and short tempered with the kids. I have these dreams…” Fin trailed off. She hadn’t meant to say so much. Rose had a way of getting stuff out of her without even trying.
“I did wonder about you and Sadie,” Rose said quietly.
“What do you mean?”
“You always look so solid. Always looking moony at each other. Always touching. Tonight you seemed different. Like it was strained between you.”
“We haven’t been getting on. Just a rough patch,” Fin said simply.
“I used to be jealous of her, you know.”
“Of Sadie? Why?” Fin was surprised.
“The way you looked at her. You never looked at me like that.” Rose smiled sadly.
“Did you want me to? I mean, I know we dated, but it wasn’t serious.”
“Wasn’t serious for you. I was in love.”
Rose’s gentle admission stunned her. Fin stepped away, studied Rose to make sure she wasn’t winding her up.
“You never said anything.”
“Of course I didn’t. You didn’t feel the same. I was just a fuck to you. I saw what was going to happen, so I manoeuvred you into the friendship zone.” Rose did smile then. “I wanted to keep you in my life.”
Fin didn’t know what to say.
“Don’t shit a brick, Fin. I’m not in love with you any more. I still love you, but not like that. The reason I’m telling you now is because I know you love Sadie. I knew it back then, when you talked about her, when I saw you together. So don’t be a total dick and push her away. You actually turned into a decent human being after you met her.”
Fin gulped down the rest of her beer. “Cheers.”
“You know what I mean. You got yourself together properly. Now you have two beautiful kids. Don’t fuck it all up.”
“It’s what Claibornes do. For over a hundred years apparently.” Should she tell Rose about Nathaniel Cushion?
“What are you talking about?”
“Never mind.” She’d keep it to herself. “I just meant I haven’t exactly had awesome role models. Claibornes are horrible people.”
“Not all of them. You aren’t. Get your head out of your arse. Go to the doctor, a therapist, whatever you need to do, but sort yourself out, Fin.”
Fin nodded. Smiled. She should have come to see Rose weeks ago. If anyone could pull her out of a self-pitying funk, it was Rose.
“Come on, let’s go back inside. I’m cold.”
Fin stopped Rose with one hand and pulled her back into a hug. She kissed her softly on the lips.
“What was that for?” Rose blushed.
“For staying in my life. I would have been lucky to have you as my girlfriend.”
“No, you belong with Sadie. I’m much too good for you.”
Rose darted out of her arms but not quick enough to avoid the smack to her backside. She laughed and ran for the door.
Chapter Twenty-eight
4th December 1904
I am alone. Finally. I told the neighbours my dear wife Marnie and the children were gone to America. They seemed to believe me and will believe me again in several years when I tell them they are dead. The truth is, that as we sat in the conservatory drinking tea, my dear wife and dear, dear children are laid out beneath us on steel tables. In the basement. Most people would think me a monster for doing what I did, but the fact is, they were in my way. That is all. They were a nuisance with their constant demands and needs, and so I got rid of them much like a farmer puts down poison to rid himself of rats in the barn. They were holding me back but not any more. They barely suffered. There are no more rats in my barn.
* * *
Sadie rushed into the kitchen and pulled on her shoes. She hadn’t worn heels for months, and her feet didn’t appreciate being squashed into them now. She gathered her hair together and used a clip to hold it. She noticed Fin staring at her with a confused look on her face. The dark circles were still under her eyes but she’d put some weight back on.
“What?” she snapped.
Fin shrugged. “Just wondered why you’re all dressed up like that.”
“Are you going to a party, Mummy?” Lucy asked around a mouthful of cereal.
“No, I’m going to a job interview. You knew this, Fin.”
“Nope. You didn’t tell me. Who’s looking after the kids?”
Sadie took a calming breath and willed herself not to start shouting. They’d both been better the last few weeks, although things were still strained. “You said you would watch them. We spoke about this.”
Fin shook her head. “Next Wednesday, you told me.”
“No, today. It’s on the fuck—it’s on the calendar.” She lowered her voice when Liam looked up and frowned at her. “Wednesday the twentieth. I have an interview in Cambridge.”
“No, you said next week.” Fin looked at her with a smug smile. Sadie wanted to slap it off.
She strode over to where the calendar hung on the wall and picked it up. She flicked it to today’s date and—
Shit. It wasn’t there. She flicked again and saw it wasn’t in next week either. She could have sworn she’d written it down.
Fin was still looking at her with that self-satisfied grin. Sadie hadn’t seen it before, but there were a lot of expressions Fin had been throwing her way lately she hadn’t seen before.
“Can you watch them for me, please?” she asked through gritted teeth.
“Nope. Have to go to London in an hour to pick up a sofa.”
“Can you take them with you and drop them at my parents?” Sadie knew it would be easy enough for her to do. “Please, Fin.”
Something shifted in Fin’s face. The smirk was gone and Sadie glimpsed her old Fin again. “Fine. Okay. I’ll drop them on my way. Write it on the calendar next time.”
Sadie ignored the dig. “Thank you. I have to go.” She kissed the children on the head and for the first time missed Fin out. “Have fun today and be good for Granny and Grandad.” To Fin, “I’ll call them on my way to the interview.”
Fin nodded but didn’t speak.
“Have fun at the party, Mummy,” Lucy called out after her, and Sadie smiled for the first time that morning.
Sadie hunted around the console table in the hall for her car keys. They were usually in the bowl but she couldn’t find them. She checked her watch. Still time, if she left now.
She rummaged around in the drawers, even pulling them out in case the keys were caught at the back. Nothing. Shit.
She opened the coat cupboard and checked her pockets, checked her handbag. Which one did she use yesterday? Didn’t matter, she checked all of them.
Sadie wanted to cry. The morning started off horribly and now it was getting worse by the second. How could she get through an interview like this?
“Fin?” she called. No answer. Sadie stomped back into the kitchen. “Fin. Have you seen my car keys?”
“Nope.”
Nope. She had started saying that a lot recently as well, and it was driving Sadie up the wall. Smug little shit.
She stomped back out and checked her car to see if she’d left them in the ignition. She looked at her watch again. She was going to have to ask Fin for another f
avour.
Back in the kitchen. “Can you please drop me at the station? I can’t find my car keys.”
“What do you mean you can’t find them?”
“What do you think I mean? I. Can’t. Find them. Even you should be able to understand that one, Fin. No big words at all.”
That was a mistake. She watched Fin’s eyes narrow. Liam looked between them like he was at a tennis match. Lucy was oblivious.
“Here’s one for you, Sadie. Go. And. Fuck yourself.”
Liam gasped.
“Fine.”
Sadie went out into the hall again and used her phone to call a cab. Ten minutes. She might still make it if the train was on time. She tried not to think about what Liam just heard. She and Fin needed to talk. Seriously talk. They couldn’t carry on like this. Not with the kids listening to them talk to each other like shit—what kind of example was that?
She would make Fin go to therapy with her. If she refused, which was likely because Fin hadn’t even been to the doctor about her weight loss yet, then she would leave. She’d take the children and stay with her parents.
Sadie heard the cab pull into the drive. She stepped outside and tried not to cry.
* * *
Fin was most of the way in the kitchen before she saw Sadie at the table. It would look childish if she walked out now, even though she couldn’t bear to be in the same room with her.
Sadie was still dressed in her interview outfit. Fin filled a glass with water and drank deeply. “How was the interview?”
Sadie burst into tears.
For the first time in their marriage, Fin wasn’t sure what to do. Ordinarily, she would have gathered Sadie into her arms, but there was a good chance she was crying because of Fin.
Fin settled for placing one hand on her shoulder. Sadie didn’t shrug her off, so it wasn’t something she’d done.
