by Amo Jones
I snort, snatching the bottle from her. This time I take three big gulps. “I know.”
“Because he wants you.” It wasn’t a question. It was a statement.
“I wouldn’t say that…” I answer truthfully. “I think he’s more annoyed because I challenge him.”
“True.” Val nods her head. “You do challenge him, but it doesn’t annoy him, Sass, it turns him on because no one does it.”
Without wanting to dwell on her words, I pick up the bag of Cheetos and pop them open. “We’re here for you, not me.” We slip into a relaxed conversation, going back and forth between Killian and my troubles with him and hers with Maya.
Val lifts up the almost-empty bottle of vodka and my brain swims with the effects of it. “I don’t think this was a good idea.”
I giggle, shaking my head. “I agree.”
The door opens on the side and I slowly find myself glaring at a smirking Killian. “Am I interrupting something? Because fucking good.” His facetious tone isn’t quiet.
“No, you’re not,” I disregard him, fighting the urge to roll my eyes.
“Get up. We’re going out.”
“What?” Val turns over her shoulder. “What do you mean? We can’t! We’ve had too much to drink.”
Killian steps in farther, picking up the bottle of Grey Goose and tossing it to the side. “We’re going out.”
Val groans. “Do we have to play?”
Killian’s eyes come to mine. “Always.”
Val rolls off the bed and heads for the door. “Fine. I’ll need your driver, though. See you all there.”
Killian leans against the edge of the bed. “I’m a little bit too tipsy.”
The corner of his mouth tips up, exposing his Colgate white teeth. “I see that.”
“What’s” —hiccup—“so funny?”
“You’re a pain in my ass.” He reaches for my hand, pulling me to my feet. He takes in every curve and exposed area of my body. “But you do need to put some pants on.”
I shake my head. “No, it’s too hot.”
“In here.” He points to the ground. “But not out there.”
I do my best to walk straight to my closet and take down a pair of yoga pants. Stripping off my shorts, I’m putting my feet into one of the holes when I feel Killian behind me.
His chest against my back.
I stop breathing. “What are you doing, Killian?”
His hand moves to my belly, his fingers spreading out. Slowly, he travels up to the front of my throat and clenches so hard that I’m instantly cut off of air. He yanks my head backward. “The games you played with Kyrin are not happening tonight.”
I attempt to pull myself out of his grip. “You can’t tell me what I can and can’t do, considering—” I finally step out of his grip and shrug on the yoga pants. “You fuck everyone.”
His hand grabs my arm and he spins me around, pushing me backward until I’m crashing against the wall. He knees my legs wide and presses himself into me, one hand against my throat and the other carefully caressing my cheek.
“Do you want to fuck him?” His eyes search mine before dropping to my lips.
He licks his, the piercing in his tongue catching the light. “Because babe, if you wanna fuck him, you can come back here and fuck him. Otherwise, stay off his dick.”
“Why does it matter?” I ask, challenging him.
I’ve slept with Killian one too many times already, so I know that I’m in a very vulnerable position nestled against him the way that I am, but I can’t seem to let go. I can’t seem to liberate the attachment I somehow feel toward him. It’s annoying, feeling a certain way about someone who you have conditioned yourself to hate. Killian is filthy, but I’ve been bathing in him for so long, that when I do walk away, I’ll be doing so with remnants of his poison pumping through my veins.
The door opens behind Killian, but he doesn’t move.
“Yo! We’re heading out, so if you’re gonna fuck, do it quickly.”
“Ky…” Killian calls out to him, but his eyes don’t stray from mine. I am well aware that I didn’t answer his question, nor did I deny wanting to sleep with Kyrin. But I don’t. I thought that much was at least obvious the other night when I walked out on their group orgy. “Come ‘ere.”
Kyrin doesn’t answer, and I don’t want to release my attention from Killian, afraid that he might see it as a tap out.
Kyrin steps beside us.
“Touch her.”
Kyrin scoffs. “I’ve told you. I’m not getting in the middle of your guys’ little games. It’s not going to end well.”
“Maybe,” I finally whisper, my attention remaining on Killian. “But it’s fun while it’s happening, so.” I narrow my eyes at Killian. His jaw ticks slightly. So faintly, I would have missed it had I not been on high alert right now. “Touch me.”
The corner of Killian’s lip curls up.
Kyrin coughs. “As much as I’d love to entertain this game, we have to leave because people are waiting for us in the car, and I wasn’t fucking kidding when I said that last night only happened because I was drunk. I don’t fuck often. Unlike your choice in men.”
Killian pushes off the wall and grabs my hand, tugging me behind him. “She’s drunk.”
We start heading down the corridor and down the twin staircase. The foyer drips in opulence, just like everything else these boys touch. Seriously, who owns a private 747? Before we’re out front. Killian leads me toward his Lambo as Kyrin slips into the Maserati behind him.
“What’s with all the flashy cars?” I ask, reaching for the door handle.
Killian slides in, pushing it to start. “We have cars here and in the US. These are nothing like the ones we have back home.”
He’s pulling us out of the long driveway when I turn to face him. “So you guys spend a lot of time here?” Why am I talking?
He drops it down to second gear and we jet forward, my head slamming against the headrest. “Yeah.”
“Why are you moody all of a sudden?”
Again, why am I talking?
“I’m not,” he answers, and turns the stereo on, cutting off any other possible conversations.
I’m confused. I think that much is obvious. Especially to him, but mainly to myself. I’m mature enough to understand that we can’t seem to not have sex, but that doesn’t mean I have to fuel it. I need to learn to push away.
Keep my distance.
I can acknowledge that we’re doing this song and dance, but I can always hit pause.
Twenty minutes later, we’re pulling up to a parking lot. I recognize it slightly, only it looks a lot different than what it used to be.
A dark and lilac archway that’s split in the middle is curved in a rainbow, with the words “Midnight Mayhem” written over the top. The paint is faded and chipped, a complete contrast to what it used to look like when I came here as a kid. The gating around the entry is the same purple cement that leads all the way around Mayhem’s grounds.
“What?” I whisper, reaching for my belt as all the rest of the cars pull up beside us. “What are—” I pause.
“What’s the matter?” Killian growls softly. “Scared of a little Mayhem?”
I turn to face him, blinking continuously. “I don’t want to be here.”
“Why?” he asks, his head tilting. His tone is condescending. As if he already knows the reason as to why I don’t want to be here.
“Because…” I answer, my throat clogged. “I don’t want to.”
He seems to ponder over my reaction before he slips out of the car.
“Shit.” I inhale and exhale, closing my eyes.
“This is where they come.”
I squeezed my mom’s hand as I licked my ice cream. I loved coming to Mayhem, but I even more loved that I got to wear my pretty red dress.
“No.” My mother shook her head. “I don’t agree with this nor will I ever.”
My father kneeled down in front of me. I love
d Papa. He was always gentle and handled me with care. Right then, though, I found myself stepping closer to Mama.
“Oh, how your mom is wrong, Zaika.”
I was confused, because his touch was soft, yet the tone of his voice made me feel uneasy. How is she wrong?
“Wow!” Killian’s hands come to my upper arms and he turns me around to face him. Callan is behind him, staring at me up and down in obvious distaste. “The fuck has you so much on edge? If this is what you’re like when you’re drunk, you’re never drinking again.”
Callan scoffs, rolling her eyes and hooking her arm into Perse’s. “I need to talk with you about something.”
“Why are you so hellbent on tormenting me?” I ask Killian, falling into step beside him as we make our way to the abandoned amusement park. Something inside of me stirs, but I’m perplexed as to why.
Killian grins but doesn’t answer.
“That smirk won’t work on me.” Only I’m a damn paradox because it has so far.
“Killian!” I reach for his arm and he stops, just short of the entrance. Turning to face me, his focus moves between my eyes and my lips.
“Because I can.”
I shove past him, running to catch up with Kenan. I can’t do the push and pull between him and I for much longer, especially not when I still have the effects of the alcohol rushing through me.
“Sass!” Killian calls out behind me, but I ignore him. I don’t want to so much as pay him any attention. Wrapping my arms around my torso, something dark clouds over me as I take that first step into the park.
“Ma! Can we get fairy floss?” I ran toward the stall, only to stop short in my tracks.
There was a man. In a suit. I bent my head until I could see his face.
“Ma!” I yelled, turning around to find Mama.
I didn’t have to look long because Mama was right behind me, her shoulders square. “What the fuck do you want?” Her face paled even more because her sickness was getting worse. So much worse. For the first time ever, I didn’t just feel sad that Mama was sick.
I felt scared.
Sweat trickles down my face as I try to blank out the memory flashes.
“You okay?” Kenan comes up beside me, watching me skeptically. I look to Keaton who is standing beside him. Keaton and I have never spoken before, but apparently that’s not unusual. Keaton is dark. As an individual, his soul is damned, you can see it anytime his eyes land on you. Much like Kyrin, only different shades of black. There’s something holding Kyrin back, with Keaton, it’s as though he’s like this by choice. As if he happily handed his soul over to the Devil.
I nod, licking my lips. “Yeah.” Kenan is momentarily distracted by something, or someone, over my shoulder.
I turn to face Killian, who is watching me carefully. “You been here before?”
How could he…
“Once,” I grind out, passing all of the abandoned rides.
The carousel remains in the middle of the main path, standing out against all other rides due to its sheer size. We continue down as we pass the old food stands and small tents where there’d been tarot readers, crystal readers, and even psychics. I pause when I see the old gold and red merry-go-round. The horses look the same, only aged. The old gold paint and bright red saddles have faded to a soft sepia, as if the rain had washed out all of the color. It was beautiful once. This whole park was.
“You know, Midnight Mayhem used to come back to perform in Kiznitch every six months when I was a kid.” Killian makes his way onto one of the horses, jumping the small gate.
I follow, climbing over the metal gate and landing on my feet. “I remember.”
Killian shakes his head, staring at me from above. “Why do I get the feeling you’re here to test me?”
“Test you?” I ask, my eyebrows raised. “Why would I be here to test you?”
Killian pulls out his bandana from his back pocket. He comes closer, his thumb pressing against my bottom lip. “Because you’re the one test I can’t solve.”
I hold my breath.
“Kill!” King hollers out from behind us. “Play time.”
Killian smirks, and I watch as he ties the bandana behind the back of his head, hiding his mouth. “Ready?”
“For what?” I ask, following him back out of the gate and down the dusty path with overgrown grass.
“The rules are simple.” Killian jumps up onto an old wooden table once we’re back with everyone, his military boots landing with a thud.
“Here we go…” Perse grumbles, folding her arms.
“What’s happening?” I whisper to her, making sure to watch Killian closely.
Killian glares at me. “Hide and seek, only you hide, and we seek…” Killian gestures to the three other brothers, as well as the Six Demons and the few others who work with us.
All the girls—and Kenan—shuffle in our spot.
“Your seeker is your master for twenty-four hours. You are completely at his mercy.”
I don’t like this game.
Perse rolls her eyes and takes a seat on the ground. “Well, I’m not running this time.”
I look around at them all, hoping that someone, anyone except Killian, takes me.
Killian jumps down from the table. I jump at his sudden proximity. So close. He smirks at me, his eyes widening like a fucking maniac. “Run.”
“I—” Val grabs my hand and shoves me forward, and before I can protest, we’re running toward the back of the Ferris wheel.
“Val!” I call out when she doesn’t stop running.
I pause, sucking in deep breaths as I take in my surroundings. Ducking and dodging old fallen plaster boards and tins of paint, I pull open a black curtain that must have been a back entrance for one of the rides. Old furniture is hidden by white sheets, spiderwebs strewn throughout.
I stop walking. Thousands and thousands of copies of myself peer back at me at different angles. A mirror maze. Cool, but not because I might get lost. Being lost has to be better than being at Killian’s mercy, so I do the next dumbest thing that I have done aside from sleeping with him. I get lost in the maze.
I should turn around, but when I hear someone scream from being captured, I jolt forward and take a hard left turn, desperate to have a few seconds alone with my thoughts. Why do I feel this way about Killian? He is everything that I should hate, and I do, underneath it all, but I can’t seem to shake the feeling that he’s only using me. He will get bored of me and move on, because he’s that kind of guy.
I keep walking until I freeze. Spinning around, I try to backtrack my footsteps. “Hated this fucking thing.” After walking another five minutes, I give up and try to get to the start by coming from the end.
My phone vibrates in my hand and I swipe it unlocked, seeing it’s Killian.
Kill: Where are you
I type out my reply. Not telling.
I smirk, while continuing to aimlessly walk around the maze. I want to get out, but I also don’t want to be captured by my nemesis.
My phone goes off again.
Killian: Don’t test me.
Before I can stop my fingers from flying over my phone, I type out, Or what?
He replies almost instantly. You really wanna know?
I pause, a stupid smile on my face. This. This is why I’m angry with myself.
I’m typing out a reply and hooking another right when I slam into a hard chest. Traveling up the granite, tall exterior, I’m not at all surprised to find Killian glaring down at me. He tugs down his bandana so it’s resting around his neck, flashing me a cocky grin. “Answer my question…”
“What question?” I ask, backing up until I’m slamming into a mirror.
Both of his hands come to either side of my head. “Wanna know what happens when you test me?”
I straighten in defiance. “Your mind games won’t work on me.”
“Oh.” He smirks, licking his bottom lip. “My mind games are the least of your worries.”
&
nbsp; “Really?” I can’t fight the smile on my mouth. As much as I want to, I can’t.
His hand comes to my throat. “Really…” His lips skim over top of mine, his smirk pressing against all of the nerves. I swing my arms around his neck, pulling him into me. His hands glide down my side until they drop to my ass and he lifts me off my feet.
I squeeze my legs around him. He kisses me hard as I grind over him, my nails digging into his back.
Pulling back slightly, he lowers me to the ground. “Turn around and put your hands on the wall.”
I follow his instruction, turning until the side of my face is pressed against the mirror. He reaches for both of my wrists, forcing them behind my back. I feel something drape over them, so I crank my head over my shoulder.
“Really?” I deadpan. “You’re going to tie me up in here.”
He yanks on the knot until his bandana is tight around my wrists. His eyes meet mine in the mirror as the corner of his mouth tips up in a smirk. His hand comes to the back of my ass and he pulls down my yoga pants.
“Kill…” I whisper, or rather whimper. Massaging my butt, he slaps me across my ass cheek and I wince at the unexpected pain.
“Mmmm?” He’s trying to act innocent.
His finger glides over my folds before sliding inside. I hiss, my eyes rolling back. “Just fuck me,” I cry softly. My body reacts to Killian in a way that I can’t control.
My eyes pop open when he retracts his finger and I watch in desire as he grins, bringing his finger to his mouth while shaking his head. “Maybe.” Then he pops it out between his lips. “Or maybe not.”
Kicking my legs wide so I’m bending over with my hands bound, he drops to his knees between my legs and I cry out when his warm mouth massages over my pussy.
“Oh my god.”
He slows his movements, his tongue diving inside and curling against me. I toss and turn, needing to touch him.
“Killian, I need—”
