I Kissed
a Ghost
(and I Liked It)
I Kissed
a Ghost
(and I Liked It)
A Jersey Girl’s Reality Show…
with Dead People
Concetta Bertoldi
Mango Publishing
Coral Gables
Copyright © 2019 by Concetta Bertoldi.
Published by Mango Publishing Group, a division of Mango Media Inc.
Cover Design: Roberto Núñez
Cover Photo: Jim Beckner
Cover illustration: Tartila (Shutterstock)
Layout & Design: Liz Hong
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I Kissed a Ghost and I Liked It: A Jersey Girl’s Reality Show…with Dead People
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication number: 2019938549
ISBN: (print) 978-1-64250-041-7, (ebook) 978-1-64250-042-4
BISAC category code: OCC022000, BODY, MIND & SPIRIT / Afterlife & Reincarnation
Printed in the United States of America
This book is dedicated to my husband, John Bertoldi, a truly wonderful man, husband, father, and friend! I have watched John for over thirty-five years with amazement. John has great integrity, loyalty, and heart. He has taught me the importance of patience. He has given all he has to give to his children and those he loves, never finding it necessary to mention it once he has given it! It’s fair to say John is the only man I’ve ever dated with enough self-confidence to never be jealous of my outgoing personality! In short, John knows who he is and enjoys himself, and he has allowed me the space and freedom to be myself. He has happily supported my work right from the beginning. Marriage is a special bond made of trust, respect, love, and commitment. John has shown me all of that, and much more! He remembers that romance is not only for newlyweds and lovers alone. We have always had a common destiny. Simply, home is not home without my husband John in it. He is the best thing life has brought me. John, I love you always.
Table of Contents
Introduction: There’s No Business like Show Business
Chapter 1
Nobody’s Perfect: A Bit about Me
Chapter 2
I Thought You Looked Familiar
Chapter 3
A Catholic, a Muslim, and a Jew Walk into a Bar
Chapter 4
I Know What You Did Last Summer
Chapter 5
Let Your Freak Flag Fly (You Be You)
Chapter 6
One Pill Makes You Larger…and One Pill Makes You Small
Chapter 7
This Wouldn’t Be Happening if You Couldn’t Handle It
Chapter 8
How May I Help You?
Chapter 9
AIR: Always in Reach
Chapter 10
Sex, Ghosts, and Haunted Houses
Chapter 11
Believe It or Not
Chapter 12
The Proof Is in the Nanny Cam
Conclusion
A Little Extra Sauce
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Introduction
There’s No Business like Show Business
When I was five years old, my mother enrolled me in a children’s tap-dance group that met every Saturday morning. As a wrap-up to the season, my group of about fifteen girls was to put on a little recital for our parents, singing “How Much Is that Doggie in the Window?” On the day of our performance, my mother was in the hospital—she had just given birth to my younger brother Bobby—so my aunt and uncle came to my show in her place. I was very excited to perform the song and dance for a room packed with parents, but, when it was time to go on, I suddenly didn’t want to dance and sing with the other girls. I wanted the stage all to myself. I’m not sure what compelled me; all I know is that I didn’t go on with them. I waited in the wings until they had completed their little routine. I watched them all tap-dance off, and then I stepped up to center stage to give the room my solo performance, doing the whole song and dance again, on my own—to much laughter and applause, I might add! The audience went nuts, and I got my first standing ovation.
When my aunt went to visit my mother later that day, my mother was holding brand-new-baby Bobby in her arms, but instead of saying, “Oh, what a beautiful baby!” the first words out of her mouth were, “Oh my God, Eleanor! You will never guess what Concetta did!”
My whole life, I had always been comfortable in front of people. I loved the feeling of having a microphone in my hand and being on the stage. As a kid, I used to think I would be an actress. (I know I’ve had another life when I was an actress, but I’ll say more about that later.) I never would have imagined that what would bring me to the stage this time around would be helping to deliver messages from the other side as a psychic medium. I have been hearing dead people all my life, and, from the time I was a kid, I would bring messages to my neighbors from their deceased loved ones. Since going public with my ability, I have been doing the same for thousands of clients, every day, in my office in New Jersey. I go on stage regularly now. And it is a performance. But it’s also authentic. I try to cheer up my guests and bring them comfort, so I’ll crack a joke from time to time, but the messages are real and are validated over and over, in each and every show. I never take credit for the messages—the helpful spirits over there are telling me everything, sometimes even pretty crazy stuff that I don’t understand myself—so when the messages are validated, their loved ones can know for sure that it’s really the spirits, that “dead” is not dead. They are still here among us, all the time.
If you’re holding this book, chances are someone you love on the other side led you to it. That’s one of the things our deceased loved ones do for us. They guide us to make choices that help keep us on our divine path. Of course, here on the earth plane, we still have free will, and we often make a wrong turn, but our dead folks on the other side are constantly trying to re-route our GPS and get us back on track.
That’s a lot of what I want to talk about in this book. In my last book, I discussed “soul contracts” and the agreements we make before coming here—generally agreeing to taking on certain challenges, or maybe working within certain limitations, in order to learn a particular life lesson or deal with some karma accumulated in other lives. Basically, we take on a new role each time; we interact with other characters, try different relationships or occupations, and deal with the challenges each new situation brings. When Shakespeare said, “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players,” he wasn’t kidding. But the earth plane is less like a play with every line scri
pted than it is like a reality show—there’s an outline based on the agreements we’ve made, but anything can happen!
I believe each of us chooses our role with a divine purpose before coming here to earth. Certain aspects of what we might think of as our personality are core parts of who we are. Just like an actor playing multiple roles, aspects of ourselves are recognizable in each lifetime. I know I’ve chosen to be on the stage in many lifetimes because it feels so familiar. Originally, I thought my divine purpose was to sing show tunes because I so loved being and singing in front of people. I found out later that, while I have had a lifetime as an actress, in this lifetime I would be using my comfort on the stage to heal and connect people to their loved ones on the other side.
In this reality show on earth, we may audition many times before landing our role. Are we a New Jersey Housewife? Are we an Undercover Boss? An Iron Chef or a Top Model? Are we a Survivor? We speak our lines, form showmances, strategize, and use our practiced skills; it often can feel like a competition, although, in this reality show, that’s certainly not the overall point. We interact with various other cast members (teachers, coworkers, neighbors, friends, salespeople, and service providers), we put on holiday dinners, go to work, and take the kids to school. But here, instead of cameras following our every move, we have the spirits of our deceased loved ones watching over our shoulders. They act more like producers, but ones who want you personally to win! They send signs and signals all the time, and can sometimes arrange “chance meetings,” introducing an important new character to your show. The help they give us is critical to our success and well-being.
Human life is about struggling, experiencing, and learning. There are skinned knees, broken friendships, lost jobs, and terrible things like war, poverty, abuse, and addictions. There is a whole lot of joy, and even miracles, but I don’t think anyone gets all the good stuff without some of the other. Life on earth is just crazy hard. I see clients all day long who are carrying guilt and shame and fear. They are being held back from the joy and perfection available to them, and I can relate to their stories in so many ways. Your loved ones on the other side know of your struggles and they want to help. They want to remind you of your divine purpose and why you came here to be the star of your own reality show.
In this book, I hope to share some wisdom for the living, as well as some exceptional insights from the dead. In a way, the dead have it easy—they’ve crossed over into the “unconditional love” zone of the spiritual plane. Here on the material plane, we are still dealing with unresolved guilt and shame, regrets, family drama, and arguments over who’s going to get Grandma’s wedding ring. It’s hard work being on earth. And not even a psychic medium has it all figured out.
As you read, you’ll notice I’m a big fan of God, and I will talk about God in these pages. In my world, he carries the big guns. I often say, “In the name of God, hear my prayer.” It makes me feel strong and supported. That said, I was raised to love all religions, and don’t favor any one religion over another. (Although I love giving Christmas gifts, I gotta admit!) So, when that word “God” comes up, you can take it and swap it out for whatever makes you feel comfortable.
I hope in these pages you will find comfort for any sorrows you may have, and feel uplifted by the knowledge that those you have loved will never leave you. I hope you may find some ideas here that will support your journey in this crazy reality show here on earth.
With love,
Concetta Bertoldi
Chapter 1
Nobody’s Perfect: A Bit about Me
I don’t remember a time when I didn’t hear the dead—that is to say, the spirits of the deceased, who are always here around us. When I was a kid in the 1950s, my mother used to freak out because she would frequently see me talking to people who weren’t there. To me it was normal, and fortunately the idea that there are some of us who have this ability is becoming more accepted. If this were the 1700s, I’d be in the town square and there’d be a fire going!
My relationship with the spirits has changed over the years—in a sense, my experience of how I hear them has matured. Like most people, I don’t remember a lot of details from my earliest experiences when I was very young. My parents certainly noticed and told me later what they had observed. Apparently, I was quite matter-of-fact about hearing the other side.
I remember my father constantly schooling me on how to handle this. His own father, my grandfather, had been an incredible medium, so my abilities were somewhat old hat to him, nothing shocking. I remember him saying, “Remember that your mind is not like other people’s. Your mind is different. Your mind is stronger than other people’s.”
I didn’t completely understand what he meant, but in my soul I understood. I never thought to say to him, “Well, can you explain to me how this is?” I was about ten at the time, and what does a ten-year-old know? Other than to say, “Okay, Daddy,” and just know that he loves me, and I trust him, and so it must be true. Something inside me told me that yes, it was true, and that I would find out more as I got older. I remember being very much aware of the other side and being under its protection. I remember feeling that I was being guarded.
What most stands out for me at the beginning is that I often had what some would call an intuitive sense about people, knowing who could be trusted and who couldn’t. Sometimes it would be a place that I either knew intuitively was either okay or off-limits, rather than a specific person, but I definitely had strong feelings about where I was and who I was with.
When I was twelve or thirteen, I did a lot of babysitting, making a whopping fifty cents an hour. I had one job working for a woman I will call “Joan.” Her husband was never home, so, when she had to go out, I would watch her two children, one about nine months and the other maybe two years old. I felt such sadness around this lady, but never felt threatened by her. One night when I was at her house, the kids long in bed, her husband came in. He was a cop, so you would think I would be safe. Think again.
As soon as he came in and said, “Hello,” I immediately felt danger. Bad energy!
All my life, I’ve had constant guardian angels. Most of the time, these were spirits whom I’d never known on earth. On this particular night, a female energy spirit, who I think may have been my grandmother who I’d never met (my mother’s mother died very young, at the age of twenty-seven), was looking out for me.
I was a young kid with hair in curlers, just wanting to be paid the $2.50 I’d earned. But I heard my guardian angel say: “Leave right away!”
“What do we owe you?” he asked.
I was making my way to the door as I said, “Two dollars and fifty cents.”
He said, “What’s your hurry? Why don’t you sit down on the couch? Let’s talk.”
I heard, very loud: “Leave now!”
I told him, no, I’d collect my money the next day from Joan. And then I ran home. I later heard that they had divorced and she moved away. I hope she found happiness.
***
Many times in my life, I have been warned by spirits. As a teenager, I didn’t want to be bothered with a bunch of dead people, as I thought of them then, on the other side. I really just wanted to be a teenager and enjoy all that that entailed. But they were always there.
When I was fifteen, I was still pretty immature and innocent. I went to school with a girl I’ll call “Mary” whose brother was dating another girl a little older than us—the two were always together. At that age, when you’re seeing a teenage couple, you can’t help being a little envious and wondering what it would be like if you, too, had a boyfriend. But teenage love is rarely perfect and in this case it was tragic. One day at school, I heard the news that Mary’s brother had shot himself over his girlfriend. Her sadness and pain were obvious—I felt so sorry for her. I remember being in class and seeing her sitting at her desk and her brother right next to her, in spirit form. I wanted so much to tell
her but just couldn’t. I was a young teenager, trying to fit in. And this was the 1960s—well before anyone really talked about psychic abilities. And how can you explain what you don’t even understand yourself? All I wanted was to be “normal,” whatever that meant. I just wanted the spirits to leave me alone. Now that my own brother has crossed, I understand even more deeply the pain she was feeling. I wish so much that I could go back and hug her and tell her that her brother is with God, loved and safe.
When I was nineteen, I fell in love. I mean really in love, the kind of love you feel only once. I’ll call him “Sam” to protect the innocent. Sam was so hot, I felt like ice cream left out in the sun. I was just hungry for him, and I still think of him fondly, the memories stirring mind, body, and soul. Anyone who has read my previous books knows the issues I’ve had with my mother-in-law, so I want to say here, for the record, that I also adored his mother. So I know it was possible that I could have had a mother-in-law who I actually got along with!
I really thought Sam and I would be together forever. I loved him, and he did love me, too. However (and I hate this “however”), a spirit told me that our having a lasting relationship wasn’t to be in this lifetime. Nope, not this time. I argued with the spirits as I’ve done many times in my life, saying, “No! You’re wrong!” We were in love. He cared about me, and he made me feel safe like no one ever had.
But the spirits said, “Remember the love, remember the moment you’re in. You have known him before and will know him again. Another time and another life.”
When Sam and I broke up, I couldn’t even tell you why. It was some silly disagreement. I said to him, “You’re going to meet some sixteen-year-old girl and marry her.” Well, he did just that. He met a sixteen-year-old girl and five years later they were married.
I Kissed a Ghost (and I Liked It) Page 1
