“The wheels are turning in your head, Hammond. What are you thinking?”
I smiled at him. “I think I’m really grateful that you’ve given me this opportunity.”
“You’re good. And good isn’t as easy to find as you might think.”
That morning, Sebastian pulled the rug out from under my feet, but with Niall’s support, I knew I was going to get my feet firmly planted beneath me again.
“I’m going to call as soon as we get back to the office.”
The call went well, and so I submitted my application online, and agreed that I’d fly out to their office interview. It was wrong to put all my job eggs in this one basket, and yet, I didn’t need the money. I knew my father would help me, and I had a significant trust fund from my mother when she died. I felt so fortunate to not only have a loving father, but the financial means to live while I sorted my messed up life out.
On Thursday, all my classes were in the morning. I turned in my finished thesis and then headed to a doctor appointment I’d made the day before.
The doctor confirmed the pregnancy and then proceeded to tell me about prenatal vitamins and other instructions for a healthy baby.
“I was on the pill, will that have hurt the baby?”
“How long were you on?”
“Only about a month.”
She gave me a look that suggested I somehow messed up that after only a month I was pregnant. “It shouldn’t be a problem, but you’ll want to stop taking them now.”
Tears welled in my eyes as I got ready to ask my next question. “I drank a lot last weekend.”
“Is that a normal thing?”
I shook my head. “I have a glass of wine a couple nights a week, but the weekend was a…” I didn’t know what it was. “We had a lot of champagne.”
“You should stop drinking now, and if you smoke, stop that too.”
“I don’t smoke.”
“Chances are there won’t be a problem if it was just a one-time thing. But it is important that you recognize that everything you do and consume can impact the baby.”
I bobbed my head up and down. “Whatever I need to do, I’ll do it.”
“Good. Now, you can resume a fairly regular life. Sex is fine. Moderate exercise is recommended, although nothing too intense.”
I nodded.
“What about the father?”
I looked down. “He’s… he’s not interested in the baby.”
She pressed her hand over mine. “I’m sorry for that. Do you have anyone who can support you through this?”
“I have money.”
“Besides money. You’ll need emotional support, as well as assistance when the baby is little.”
I nodded. “My father.”
“He’s okay with the pregnancy?”
“He’ll be surprised, but he’ll be supportive.”
“Good. Now, I know you said you had money, but the father does have financial responsibilities.”
I didn’t respond to that. Instead, I asked about other things I could do to have a healthy baby. When I was done, I went to Central Park to the playground. I watched the children playing. Some were on the equipment, while others were playing ball or some other game with their mother or father.
I saw a couple in which the mother pushed a stroller and the man held the hand of a toddler. My heart ached that I’d never have that. That Sebastian wouldn’t have that. Coward.
I sat on the bench for most of the afternoon, watching the families, and trying to wrap my head around the last few weeks and my plans for my future. The one thing that I kept circling back to was having to tell my father. He’d be disappointed that I’d been unsafe and got knocked up, but I also knew he’d love me and my baby. The question was what to tell him about Sebastian.
Since Sebastian had just been told that there was a rumor about him sleeping with an intern, I figured I should put off telling my father about the baby. It would be too easy to put two and two together and letting him figure out I was the intern.
To keep my secret, I should probably go out with my friends and make it look like I was dating. It would be easier for my father, and even Sebastian, to think I’d been with someone if I spent time out with my friends. Clubbing didn’t seem like a good thing for a baby, so I called some of my classmates to set up a study schedule. I could tell my father I was going out on the town, but actually be with my study group.
I shook my head. What sort of mother was I going to be if I was starting this pregnancy based on lies?. But what choice did I have? If I told Sebastian, he’d be found out and his board could fire him and put in a new CEO. It wasn’t out the realm of possibility. Apple had fired Steve Jobs.
I pressed my hand to my belly. “We’ll figure it out, little one.”
On Friday, I went to my internship determined to complete my duties and forge ahead in life, even though I was feeling vulnerable and alone. It was so difficult not to tell my father, because I really needed support from someone I loved and trusted. But until I put enough distance between my time with Sebastian and this pregnancy, I had to carry the secret.
When I got to my computer station, I saw a note from Niall to meet him in Craig’s office.
“Leah, come in,” Craig said when I poked my head in.
“You wanted to see me?”
“Yes, come in.”
I entered the office, seeing Niall sitting in a chair in front of Craig’s desk. I took the other chair.
“You look like hell, Hammond,” Niall said.
I mustered a smile. “A lot of all-nighters to finish my school work.”
“Well, maybe we can help take some of the pressure off.” Craig picked up a piece of paper on his desk and handed it to me. “Niall and I have reviewed your work with us and the other departments and determined you’ve met the terms of your internship. Today is your last day.”
I was partly relieved, but also surprised. I studied the paper.
“Between the work you’ve done—”
“Plus the trip to Paris,” Niall added.
“You’ve put in the hours, and clearly you’ve learned a lot. I’m only sorry that we can’t hire you.”
I looked at Craig, as tears filled my eyes. I’m not sure why. Maybe being pregnant made me emotional. “Thank you.”
“Now you can just focus on finishing your school work and graduating.”
I nodded. “Yes, thank you.”
“I hear you followed up on the job I referred you to,” Niall said.
“Yes, I did. Thank you so much.” The gratitude was overflowing. I wasn’t quite as alone as I thought.
“Niall and I have both written you references, and we’ll be asking Mr. Cox to write one as well.”
My stomach clenched at that. “I appreciate it. I really do.”
“Also be sure to stop by the staff lounge at lunch. There just might be cake,” Niall said.
“I will. Thank you again. So much.”
“You’re a smart woman and a good worker. We know you’re going to do well.” Craig stood and extended his hand to me.
I shook it, “Thank you.”
Back at my desk, I read over the paper that indicated I’d fulfilled the hours and other terms of my internship, signed by Niall and Craig.
I put the paper away and started my work, hoping I could get the project done before I left that day. At lunch I went to the lounge and sure enough there was a cake with the words “Congratulations Leah” printed on top with sugar graduations caps around it. Along with the marketing department, there were people from the design department where I’d worked as well. I was touched that they’d do such a thing, and yet sad too that Sebastian wasn’t there.
That evening, as I packed up to leave for the last time, Niall stopped by my desk. “Let me know how it goes with job in Los Angeles.”
“I will. Thank you again, Niall.” Feeling vulnerable and grateful, I hugged him.
“You’re going to do alright, Hammond.”
/> From his lips to God’s ears, I thought.
24
Sebastian
The last time I saw Leah was on Friday, when I headed to the marketing department to check in with her. She had her arms wrapped around Niall. A part of me wanted to stride in and kick his ass. Another part of me, said this was a good thing. She’d moved on. In fact, perhaps she wasn’t as attached to me as I’d thought if she was already in the arms of another man. Instead of saying anything, I walked away.
It was time for me to regroup and refocus on what was important. The first thing I needed to do was cancel golf with Henry. I needed some time away from the Hammond family until I got myself sorted out.
Instead of golfing, I spent the weekend going over quarterly reports, looking over new clothing and toy designs, and reviewing the Paris deal. This was the life I’d chosen, and I’d need to remember that. I couldn’t let Leah or any woman get in the way of that.
I’d been successful at keeping thoughts of her away while I worked, but late at night in bed, she was there with her sweet smile and sexy body. Like a ghost, she haunted my dreams. The first morning, I took a cold shower, refusing to give into the hardon the dreams brought. The second morning, I gave in. If I couldn’t have her for real, I would have her in my mind. In my shower, I brought up that last night in Paris, when we made love so sweetly. Only in the private recesses of my mind could I admit it was one of the most satisfying sexual experiences of my life.
But out of the shower, I was back to what was real and lasting, and that was my business. On Monday, I entered my office with a renewed focus on the business. I stayed away from the marketing department and any part of the building where I might run into her. I arrived early and stayed late so I wouldn’t risk running into her coming or going.
By Friday, I realized I not only hadn’t seen her but also, I hadn’t heard about her, and it made me antsy. I called down and arranged to have Niall and Craig in my office that afternoon.
“Is there a problem, Mr. Cox?” Craig asked as he and Niall stood in front of my desk.
“What’s the status of Leah Hammond?”
“She completed her internship last week.”
I frowned. “She was supposed to be here through the month.”
“When you transferred her to us, we reviewed what she’d done and discovered she’d met the requirements.”
“So you let her go?” This was a good thing, so why did it bother me?
“She met the hours and duties.” Craig said.
“And you wouldn’t let us hire her, so there was no reason to make her stay,” Niall added. There was a tone to his voice that suggested he thought I was an idiot not to hire her.
“Why wasn’t I notified?”
The two men looked at each other. Craig spoke up. “You transferred her internship to us. I wasn’t aware you needed to be involved anymore.”
“This is still my company, is it not?” I was getting pissed, which was stupid because he was right. I’d transferred her because I didn’t want any contact. So why was I so bent out of shape about this?
Niall’s eyes narrowed. “She had a lot on her plate. She did the job and did it well. Why you don’t hire her is beyond me—”
“You’d like that wouldn’t you?” My voice turned dark.
Craig’s eyes widened, but Niall’s narrowed even more. “She’s a good worker.”
“And pretty too. I’ve seen you two together?”
Craig looked at Niall in confusion.
“I don’t know what you saw, sir,” Niall’s voice was laced in sarcasm when he said “sir.” “But we’re just coworkers.”
I quirked a brow letting him know I wasn’t buying his bullshit.
He didn’t seem phased by me. “It was clear you didn’t like men sniffing around her, so I stayed away.”
We stared at each other for a moment as I tried to decipher what he meant. Slowly his expression morphed until it looked like something dawned on him.
“I thought it was because you were like a father figure to her, but now… considering the rumors, maybe she’s the intern you’ve been—”
“Niall.” Craig’s voice held censure.
Inside my gut churned in a mixture of anger and panic. I stood, hoping my size and the fact that I was the boss would shut Niall up.
“Mr. Cox,” Craig started. “Ms. Hammond completed her time and duties and so we signed off on her internship. I’m sorry we didn’t consult with you.”
My gaze held Niall’s daring him to come at me again. Niall didn’t speak, but his facial expression didn’t hold the concern I’d have hoped for.
“If there’s nothing else, we should get back to work,” Craig said.
I gave them both a curt nod.
It took Niall a second to disengage his hard stare from mine, but finally the two of them were out of my office.
Alone, I sagged into my chair. The last thing I needed was for my staff to think I was fucking Leah. Although if they heard the rumors about me having an affair at work, she’d be an obvious choice. I’d spent more time with her than any of the other interns.
I should have been relieved that she was gone for good, but I wasn’t. My chest ached. I missed how she’d walk into my office, all innocence mixed with sexy. I missed the exuberance she showed for the projects she was working on, and Niall and Craig were right, I was an idiot not to hire her. She was smart and creative, especially when it came to marketing.
This was a good thing, I reminded myself. The temptation was gone, and I could go on as before. Hopefully the next time I saw her, in passing when I was with Henry, the ache and need would be gone.
My phone rang. “Cox.”
“Sebastian,” Henry’s voice came through the other end.
“Henry.” My gut clenched, as it always did now when I talked to him, wondering if this was the moment, he’d confront me on what I’d done to Leah.
“Leah is graduating soon so me and Karen are throwing her a party. Nothing too fancy. It will be here at our place. But since you were her internship advisor and of course, a good friend, I wanted to make sure you came.”
Well hell. My insides twisted because I wanted more than anything to go. Jesus, I wanted to see her so bad. But I’d never get her out of my system if I saw her. “Let me check my schedule and get back to you.”
“Oh.” He seemed surprised. I supposed before my affair with Leah, I’d have said yes immediately. “Well, okay. Let me know.”
“I will. Thank you, Henry.”
I hung up the phone feeling so completely empty. I couldn’t remember a time I’d felt so cold and alone. What the fuck had I done? I should have never touched her, and yet even as I thought about it, I couldn’t completely regret it. Being with Leah had been like being in the sun. She was bright and happy and sweet. I couldn’t remember ever having something so good in my life.
Of course, I didn’t deserve something so good. I’d treated her poorly. Leah was a woman who deserved love and to be worshiped, and I’d treated her like a mistress, only good for getting my rocks off. The vileness of that made me sick.
“Mr. Cox?” my secretary poked her head in my door.
“Yes.”
“I’m getting ready to head home, but I wanted to drop this off for you.”
“What is it?”
“Mr. James sent up a copy of Ms. Hammond’s internship release. And a call came in from a baby clothing designer in Los Angeles, asking about Ms. Hammond.”
I frowned.
“She’s applied for a position with them. Should I give it to Craig James instead?”
Los Angeles? My heart stopped in my chest, even as my brain told me this was a good thing.
“I’ll take it. Thank you.” I took the internship paper and phone message from my secretary.
“If there’s nothing else, I’ll be going.”
“Have a good weekend.”
When the door shut behind her, I looked at the message. It was three hours earlier
in Los Angeles, so odds were that they were open. But I couldn’t bring myself to call.
I stood up and walked out to catch my secretary. “Actually, can you pass this on to Mr. James?”
She nodded. “I’ll put it on his desk on my way out.”
“Thank you.”
She studied me for a moment. “Are you alright, Mr. Cox?”
No, no I’m not. “I’m fine. I’ll see you Monday.”
I worked a little longer, but I couldn’t get Leah out of my mind. She was interviewing for a job in Los Angeles? Unable to concentrate, I headed home. I thought the change of scenery would allow me to refocus on the Paris deal, but Leah was fucking everywhere. So instead, I pulled out a bottle of scotch and started to drink. Surely there would be an amount that would numb my senses and make me forget her.
25
Leah
I missed going to my internship, but in the end, it had been a good thing to leave. First, I had to prepare for finals and the defense of my thesis. Second, the baby designer in Los Angeles called and wanted me to come for an interview at the end of the week. I wouldn’t graduate until a week after that, but the company said they were eager to hire someone soon, and were impressed by what I’d done for Sensual Delights. It seemed strange that a baby clothing designer would like what I’d done for a lingerie and sex toy business, but I supposed with enough sexy stuff, eventually the baby stuff would be needed. I was living proof of that.
I rubbed my belly as I lay on my couch, reading an article my professor assigned us to read over the weekend. My life was the same as before, except I missed Sebastian and I was pregnant. My days were filled with getting up, going to school, studying, and living my life. I spent time with my father and Karen. And I felt utterly alone.
Several times during the week, I’d made the decision to go to Sebastian’s and tell him about the baby. But each time, I remembered how he’d been clear that business was his priority. What would he do if I told him I was pregnant? I wasn’t sure. A part of me thought he would do the right thing and say we should get married, but I didn’t want that. When I got married, it would be for love, not out of some feeling of duty or obligation.
Beautiful Mistakes: Contemporary Romance Boxset Books 1-4 Page 33
