“It’s fucking fantastic.” I kissed her head. She rested it back on my shoulder and within a few minutes she was asleep. I reached for the throw blanket that somehow didn’t end up on the floor and covered us.
As much as I loved making love to Leah, I enjoyed this too; simply holding her. Her breath was soft and steady. Her heart beat against my own as she rested. This was what I’d wanted but had been too afraid to believe I could have. A beautiful, smart, feisty woman to love who loved me, and a baby on the way. I needed to ensure I had this forever, but I’d been resisting taking that step. It wasn’t because I was afraid of it. The problem was Henry. While he was civil to me, the animosity was always right there below the surface when we were together. I needed to do something about it, although I wasn’t sure what I could do that would fix us.
33
Leah
Eight weeks ago, I graduated with my MBA, moved in with Sebastian, and a week later started my new job in the wonderful home office he’d set up for me. We’d established a routine of waking early, sometimes by making love, having breakfast, and then my kissing him goodbye when he left for his office. I’d work at home and when Sebastian got home at the end of the day, we’d make dinner together, and then spend the evening wrapped up in our cocoon of love.
He was at every doctor’s appointment, peppering the doctor with questions. The first time we heard the baby’s heartbeat, we both wept at the miracle of it. It also brought home how real this was, and it became clear that we’d need a larger place to fit all the stuff a baby needed. Sebastian put his apartment up for sale and we went on the hunt for a new place. We found a great three-bedroom that had a separate home office. It was perfect, at least to my mind. Sebastian wasn’t so sure, but that was only because it was in the same building as my father’s apartment.
Over the several weeks since I’d fainted, my father was civil, but there was no missing his true feelings about Sebastian. For his part, Sebastian did his best, but I knew it was difficult. He was both hurt and angry at my father’s inability to put his personal animosity aside for my sake. In the end, he agreed that the apartment was ideal, and two weeks ago, we’d moved in. It took us a couple of days, but eventually we’d christened every room and new piece of furniture. It was a great excuse to have sex because I was feeling horny a lot lately. So much so, a couple of times, I asked Sebastian to come home for lunch to service me.
“You are the perfect woman,” he’d said to me.
“Because I need you to fuck me so much?”
“Yes.” He grinned, and it filled my heart to see him so happy. The Sebastian I’d known before seemed to be a shell of a man, going through the motions of life. Now he was more animated, and he smiled and laughed more. Occasionally, I’d get a text from Niall thanking me for making Sebastian easier to work with.
Now if my father would come around and be more accepting of Sebastian, my life would be perfect. Sebastian and my only source of conflict was around my father. While Sebastian tried to keep his feelings about it to himself, sometimes we’d argue when he’d bow out of dinner with my father and Karen, who’d moved in with my dad a few weeks ago.
We were in the middle of one these arguments now.
“I want us to tell him about hearing the baby’s heartbeat,” I said, wanting Sebastian to be with me when I shared baby news with my father. I had this idea that it would help soften my father’s feelings toward Sebastian since he was why I was having a baby.
“I don’t see your father coming here for dinner.”
He was right. My father always declined our invitations. Sebastian definitely tried harder than my father did to heal their relationship, something that Sebastian was growing resentful over. I couldn’t blame him, and yet, I didn’t want the animosity between them when the baby was born.
“We can’t stop trying, Sebastian.”
“I can.” He went to the refrigerator for a beer. “I’ve bent over backwards to make peace with him, but now I’m done. I’ve had enough.”
“We need to do it for the baby.”
“Why me, Leah? Do you give your dad this same lecture?”
“Yes.” And it fell on equally deaf ears. “But he was hurt.”
Anger flashed in Sebastian’s eyes. “Whose fault is that?” He walked out to the terrace and stood looking out over the city.
I hated it when he blamed me for seducing him. But I understood where his anger and frustration came from, so I ignored it. “I just think it’s up to us to try to make it right.”
He shook his head as he laughed derisively. “He gets a free ride on all he’s done to fuck me over?” He turned to me; his facial features hard. “He tried to take my company and isn’t shy about letting me know he thinks I’m less than pond scum. All I ever did was fall in love with his daughter.”
“I didn’t say he was being fair. I just feel like since his behavior is in response to us, that we need to continue to try to reach out to him. At one time you agreed.”
He stared at me for a moment, and I’d hoped I was getting through. “What I agreed to was that you and him needed to get into a good place again. You are. Mission accomplished.”
“You don’t want to fix your relationship with him?”
“Not anymore. There’s only so much I’m willing to let someone stomp on me, Leah. I’ve hit my threshold.”
He turned back to look out over the city. He was going to stand firm on this. I couldn’t blame him, but it made me profoundly sad that my child’s father and grandfather would always dislike each other. I didn’t bother holding back the tears.
“Don’t Leah. Don’t try to manipulate me by crying. It won’t work. Not this time.”
His words hurt and made me angry. “I’m not trying to manipulate you. I’m sad, Sebastian. Sad for you and my dad, and even more so for our baby.” I stared at him, wishing I could shake sense into him. “The two of you act like I’m some little naïve, inexperienced waif who doesn’t understand life, but the truth is your age and experience has made you both big immature pussies.”
His eyes flared with heat. “Go tell him that. I’d love to see his reaction.”
“For that to happen, you’d have to be there when I said it to him, and it sounds like you’re not coming with me to dinner.”
His jaw tensed. “Not tonight, I’m not.” He walked past me, into the apartment.
I knew my father was the source of my problem, but in that moment, I was angry at Sebastian for giving up. Apparently his “fuck ’em” attitude was now how he thought about trying to mend things with my father.
I wiped my tears and went back inside too. I went to the bathroom to clean up, and a few minutes later I headed to dinner at my father’s place.
“Sebastian abandoned you?” My father quipped when he opened the door and saw me standing alone.
Something broke inside me. “No, dad, you abandoned Sebastian.” I turned around and started back to the elevator.
“Leah! Where are you going?”
“I don’t know.” I pushed the down button. I wasn’t going back to my place only to have Sebastian gloat at how right he was about my dad. But I wasn’t going to have dinner with my father if was going to continue to be a jerk.
“Leah, honey,” Karen came to the door. “Your father is sorry.”
“No, he’s not.” I looked at him. “You know I could be a bitch about your finding love again after mom, but I care about your happiness. You, on the other hand, don’t give a fuck about me or my baby enough to make peace with Sebastian.”
My father’s eyes widened in shock, although I wasn’t sure if it was in response to what I was saying or that I’d used the F-word. “That’s not true. I’ve been very civil.”
“No, you haven’t. And he’s tired of it.”
My father looked to Karen for support.
“You really haven’t been very civil toward him.”
My father’s face tensed, clearly not liking that she was on my side.
“And she’s rig
ht. She’s been very supportive of us because she loves you.”
“You’re a good person,” my father said to her.
Karen shook her head at him. “Sebastian is a good person too. The man has moved into the same building, despite the way you treat him, just so you can be near Leah and the baby. He makes her happy. She loves him. That should be enough.”
The elevator finally arrived.
My father sighed. “Leah, come back for dinner.”
“I’m not hungry. Thank you, Karen, for your support.” I stepped inside and pushed the button to close the door. If I was lucky, Karen’s words would sink in with my father. But I wasn’t going to hold my breath.
I stepped out on to the New York street and started walking without any thought to where I’d go. Within a few minutes, my phone was ringing and beeping with calls and texts from Sebastian. I suspected Karen told him I’d left, and he was wondering where I was. I knew I should let him know I was okay, but I was tired of being in the middle of these two pig-headed men, so I ignored the calls.
Instead, I walked, taking in the shops and people I passed. When I came to a tea room, I stopped in having some tea and a scone. It wasn’t a healthy dinner, and I made a note to have something healthier when I got home.
I didn’t pay attention to the time, so I was surprised when I arrived home to find Sebastian in a tizzy.
“Where the fuck were you Leah? You scared the shit out of me.”
“Just walking.”
He stood with his hands on his hips like my dad used to do when he was punishing me. “For three hours?”
I didn’t want to fight again, so I headed to the bedroom. “I didn’t realize how long I was gone.”
He followed me. “Why didn’t you respond to my calls?”
I undressed and pulled out a t-shirt to wear to bed. “I didn’t want to talk to you.”
“Real mature, Leah.”
I glared at him and then rolled my eyes. I climbed into bed. “I’m tired.”
He turned his head and took a breath, I suspected to rein in his anger. When he turned back, he said, “I was worried.”
“Despite what you and my father think, I’m a grown woman who can venture into the world without getting lost.”
This time he rolled his eyes. “I was worried about you emotionally. Karen said you and your dad fought.”
“You don’t seem worried when we fight.”
He sat on the edge of the bed. “You don’t walk off into the night when we fight.” He took my hand. “I can understand if you want to be alone, I just want to know that you’re okay… and that you’ll be coming back.”
Did he really think I’d leave him? Now I felt guilty. “I just needed space. Next time I’ll let you know.”
He nodded and leaned over to kiss me. “Get some rest.”
I turned over, and I heard him sigh, and then he stood, turning off the light and exiting the bedroom. As I laid in bed willing sleep to come, I knew it was time for me to accept that Sebastian and my father would always have a problem. I’d need to figure out how to navigate that for our baby.
34
Sebastian
The sun was just starting to spread its rays into our room, but I was already showered and dressed as I sat on the edge of the bed to wake Leah. After a long night of trying to continue to justify my fuck ’em attitude about Henry, I finally came to terms with the fact that Leah was right. For her and my child, I had to keep trying.
“Leah.” I gently rubbed her arm.
She turned over and blinked. “Sebastian?” Her eyes studied me for a moment. “Isn’t it Saturday? Are you going to the office?”
“I’m going to play golf.”
“Oh.” She frowned. “Did you tell me that? I forget a lot lately. Must be baby hormones.”
I shook my head. “No. I just decided. I’m going to ask Henry to play a round.”
Her eyes widened, and she was now fully awake. “What if he says no?”
I shrugged. “Then I’ll ask next week. And the week after.”
She smiled, and my heart grew full. She levered up and wrapped her arms around me. “Thank you.”
I kissed her neck. “Wish me luck.”
Ten minutes later, I was standing outside Henry’s door. I wasn’t afraid, but I wasn’t looking forward to dealing with his snark.
For Leah and the baby, I told myself as I knocked.
Karen opened the door in a robe. “Sebastian.”
“Karen. I’m here to see if Henry would like to join me for a round of golf.”
She made a face that suggested he wouldn’t, but then her eyes narrowed. “I’ll make sure he joins you.” She opened the door. “Come in.”
I wait in the foyer as she got Henry.
He emerged with a scowl, dressed similarly to me in khakis and a golf shirt. “I was ordered to play golf with you.”
“That’s the difference between you and me Henry; this is my idea, not Leah’s, because I want to make her happy.” It wasn’t the best idea to lead with snark, but I wasn’t going to put up with the bullshit.
He shook his head, but opened the door and I followed him out. Neither of us talked during the elevator or car ride to the golf course. In fact, we were walking to the fifth hole tee when I finally decided I needed to say something.
“Henry, I’m sorry that I’ve hurt you. It wasn’t my intention. We can keep on like this if you prefer to hold a grudge, but for Leah and the baby’s sake, I’d like to find a way for us to get along.”
Henry ignored me, continuing to walk toward the tee.
“So that’s it? My child is going to grow up watching his grandfather ignore his father?”
Henry whirled around. “I know you, Sebastian. It won’t be long before another pretty intern is in your office and you would then leave my daughter and her child.”
“If you believe that, then you don’t know me.” I shook my head, not understanding why he thought so poorly of me when over the last five years he’d been such a good friend. Being in the sex toy industry led people to think all sorts of things about me, but Henry knew most of it wasn’t true, didn’t he?
“I can’t even look at you and not think of the sordid, perverted things you’ve done to my daughter.”
“First, what Leah and I have isn’t sordid or perverted and you dishonor her by thinking so. Second, it’s disturbing that you even think about your daughter’s sex life.”
Henry clenched his teeth and started up the fairway again.
“God dammit, I love her.”
“You don’t know love—”
“I do. God help me, I do. Henry, I want to spend my life with her.” I wanted to tear my hair out Henry’s behavior was so frustrating.
He stopped and slowly turned to me. “If that’s true why aren’t you marrying her?”
Was that what was upsetting him? “Because her father hates me and as long as he does, it’s source of pain for her and I don’t want her to feel stuck with me if she decides she tired of all the bullshit.”
His eyes widened in surprise.
“That’s why I’m here. Until you give your blessing, I can’t marry her.”
“That’s absurd.”
“You only think so because you’re not the one holding her while she cries because her father disapproves of her choice.”
He flinched as if I’d hit him.
“Henry.” I tried to bring my voice down to a calm level. “I feel like there’s something else going on here besides the fact that I slept with your daughter. At one time, you liked me, mentored me, and now…” I took a deep breath. “Your resentment hurts her.”
He simply stared at me.
“Do you know what we plan to name the baby? If it’s a girl, her name will be Olivia.”
Emotion swept across his face at the mention of his deceased wife’s name, but he fought to remain impassive.
“If it’s a boy, it will be Henry, after a man we both love and respect.” I rolled my sh
oulders of the tension. I was emotionally exhausted and tired of battling a man who clearly wasn’t going to change his mind about me. With all the wind out of my sails, I said, “I’m not asking for me, Henry because I know I don’t deserve it. But for Christ’s sake, try harder for Leah and the baby.”
I walked past him, pulling a club from my bag, and putting my ball on the tee. I stood over the ball and lined up my club.
“You took her from me.”
I looked up at him. “What?”
“She picked you. I resent you for taking her away.”
“I haven’t taken her away. We moved into the same building so she could still be near you.” Maybe he was suffering from early dementia because this just didn’t make any sense.
“If push came to shove, she’d pick you.”
I shook my head. “First, we don’t know that, but if you truly believe that, stop pushing and shoving. Why are you testing her?”
He looked up the fairway as if he was pulling his thoughts together. Finally he turned back to me. “For a long time, it’s just been me and Leah.”
It finally sunk in that he was afraid of losing her. “You were like a son to me and you stole her.”
“Henry, Jesus, do you really think that?” I stared at him for several moments. “I’ve been alone most of my life. Even with Valerie, there wasn’t the same type of connection people think about when they talk about love. When I met you, I finally made a real connection, found a true friend, or I thought I did. I always thought you cared for and respected me.”
He looked down, and I wondered if maybe he wasn’t feeling ashamed.
“With Leah, all that stuff you used to talk to me about that you had with Olivia that I thought was total bullshit, is true. I tried to leave Leah and it nearly fucking killed me, Henry.” I paused until he finally looked up. “I don’t want to take her away from you Henry. What I want is to be a part of your family.”
His expression at first was impassive, and I was ready to give up again.
“Well, fuck, Sebastian.” He blew out a breath like he was trying to hold back his emotion. Then he inhaled. “Olivia or Henry, huh?”
Beautiful Mistakes: Contemporary Romance Boxset Books 1-4 Page 39
