I wasn’t experienced in dating, and so I didn’t really know what to say or do to tell someone it was over. Or more accurately, how to tell him I wasn’t interested in pursuing something with him. “I’m sort of seeing someone now.”
One brow quirked up. “Is this new?”
“Yes.” Please don’t let him guess it’s Blake, I prayed. After the way Blake acted yesterday, it would be easy for Dylan to make that assumption.
He looked away for a moment and then turned back. “Here I thought I was being too assertive, but it looks like I should have acted faster.”
“I’m sorry. I like you—”
He held up a hand to stop me. “Please don’t end that sentence with ‘as a friend.’”
I pinched my lips together to stop myself from saying exactly that. At least he didn’t seem angry.
“Well, Dylan, better luck next time,” he said as he stood.
I felt terrible. Here was a person who liked me. He wanted to see me without terms or conditions. If he had baggage, it wasn’t likely to be a dead wife. Why couldn’t I want him more than I wanted Blake?
He left my office, and I seriously rethought what I was doing with Blake. It wasn’t that I needed to find my Mr. Right. I wasn’t in a hurry for marriage and kids. But I also didn’t want to rule it out. I wanted love, friendship, and companionship, as well as sex. Dylan could probably give me all that. Blake could only give me sex. Why was I okay with that?
A phone call interrupted my inner tug-of-war.
“Bella Hanson.”
“Ms. Hanson, this is Patsy Lockwood. We met the other day? I’m Lily’s grandmother.”
“Yes, I remember.” Odd that she didn’t present herself as Blake’s mother-in-law. Odder still was that she was calling me. “How can I help you?”
“I don’t know if Blake has talked to you, but Lily has been asking if you’d be able to come to her birthday party this weekend.”
Huh?
“I know it’s a little unconventional, but Lily is quite taken with you. She talks about you all the time. She had me get her a book on learning French and she’s only drawing spreadsheets at the moment.”
I smiled. You could never know the impression you make on children. Apparently, I’d made one on Lily. My first instinct was to say yes to the party, but then I realized she’d said that Blake was supposed to talk to me. He hadn’t. Perhaps he was too busy, or more likely, he didn’t want me there. I guess I couldn’t blame him. It might be weird for him to have his mistress at his daughter’s birthday party.
I winced inwardly at the word. I’d let myself become a mistress. It bothered me as much as it seemed to bother Blake.
“I’ll need to check my schedule,” I said by way of a non-committal answer.
“Yes, of course. A young woman like you probably has a filled social calendar.”
I bit back a snort. My social calendar was filled with visits to my couch to binge watch the show of the month on Netflix.
“When do you need an RSVP?” I asked.
“If you could let me know before Friday, that would be lovely. Or just tell Blake.”
“Okay.”
There was a pause on her end of the phone and I was getting ready to say goodbye when she said, “How well do you know Blake?”
I swallowed as panic rose in me. Did she suspect I was having sex with Blake? What would she think that her son-in-law took me on his desk? Would she think he was betraying Joanna too?
“I… ah…”
“I’m sorry to put you on the spot, but I worry about him. I love him for all the dedication he puts into JoXander. It was my daughter’s dream and every day he seems to fulfill another one of her goals. But I worry that that’s all he’s living for. Well, that and Lily.”
“He is very committed to Mrs. Alexander’s vision.”
“I guess as his assistant, you wouldn’t know about his social life. Friends? Does he still play racquetball?”
I didn’t even know he played racquetball. “I’m sorry. I don’t know.” I hated lying to her, but I was certain Blake wouldn’t want me to tell her I was his social life.
“Hmm, thank you anyway. Do let me or Blake know about Lily’s party. She’d be so pleased to have you there. As her grandmother, it’s my job to spoil her.”
“Of course.”
I got off the phone and went right back to wondering what I was doing having an affair with Blake. Well, I did know. I liked the sex. And while I knew I shouldn’t, there was a part of me that hoped that maybe over time he’d come to care for me. That’s where I was going to get in trouble, and the reason why I should stop. I should just tell him I can’t do it after all. He told me that if at any time I felt uncomfortable, I could tell him and we’d stop. Then I could pursue whatever things could be with Dylan. But my head just wasn’t able to convince my heart or my hormones.
Later in the day, he called me in the office. I brought all the work he needed to sign off on or receive an update about. Like I had before we’d started getting naked together, I went through the papers and reports. He, in turn, signed papers or told me what to do next.
When we were done, I got ready to leave by rising from my chair in front of the desk he’d fucked me on.
“Bella.”
“Yes, sir.” I stood in front of his desk.
“Please sit.”
“Okay.” I sat. How awkward was this? I didn’t know if he was speaking to me as his assistant or now as his mistress.
“Are you all right?” He stood, came around his desk and sat in the chair next to me. I relaxed because it appeared this would be an informal conversation.
“Yes. Just… well… I’m not sure how to act.”
He sat back looking a little relieved. “Me neither.”
It was a sign that we shouldn’t be doing this. I started to say that, but then he reached out and took my hand. Tendrils of warmth flowed from my hand, up my arm, to the rest of my body.
“I go back and forth on this, and just when I think I’m strong enough to let you go, I see you and all I can think is how much I want to be with you.”
“So, you want to end this?” It was a relief that he was having the same reservations, and a disappointment too.
“Do I want to? No.”
“But you think we should?” He and I were on the same wavelength, but hearing it from him somehow hurt a little bit.
He turned away as if he was gathering his words. Finally, he turned back. “I’m struggling with the guilt.”
“Because of your wife?”
He gave a short nod. “Yes, her, but not just that. I know this is grossly inappropriate and unfair to you. You’re too good to be wasting your time with me.”
I didn’t respond since I’d also been wondering about whether I should be putting time to him when I could be with someone who wanted more from me than just sex.
“And there’s Lily and her grandparents. If they found out, I don’t know what they’d think.”
“Is that why you haven’t mentioned her birthday party invite?”
His eyes widened. “How do you know about that?”
I pulled my hand away. I had the feeling I was going to walk out his office as his assistant and not assistant-slash-mistress. “Mrs. Lockwood called me to tell me about it. It sounds like whatever Lily wants, she wants to give her.”
He smiled. “Yes. Since she lost her mother, I suppose we all indulge Lily a little too much.”
“Not you though. At least on this. You don’t want me there.”
He studied me as if he was only just realizing that I was feeling annoyed. “It’s not that I don’t want you there. I would want you to come for Lily. She’s been shy and withdrawn in the world. Yet you reached her.” He looked down. “But I worry others would be able to tell what we were doing.”
“How? It’s not like we’re in love.” That wasn’t completely true. While I might not be fully in love with him, I did feel more than just lust. “We won’t be mak
ing goo-goo eyes from across the room.”
“It’s not the goo-goo eyes I worry about.” He nodded down toward his groin, where I saw the outline of his dick. He wasn’t fully erect, but he wasn’t completely flaccid either.
“Oh.” I hadn’t thought of that.
He frowned. “You’re saying you want to come? To a child’s birthday party?”
“I like Lily, and if she likes me, why wouldn’t I go?”
“Because you have other things to do? Friends to visit maybe.”
I shook my head. “My world is very small, Blake. Work is about it.”
He looked at me like he couldn’t believe it. “You’re an engaging young woman. You should be living your life.”
I snorted and wanted to call him out on his hypocrisy. But since his self-imposed small world related to his dead wife, I thought it would be cruel. Instead I just explained my life. “I did my living with my mother. Then I cared for her when she was sick. After that, I had to work hard so I could pay the bills, especially the medical ones insurance didn’t cover. And I wanted to stay in our apartment in the city which is probably peanuts to you, but this is New York. It’s expensive to me.”
“I didn’t realize.” It looked like the wheels in his head were turning. “We should go do something.”
“Huh?”
“To live. To honor my wife and your mother. Instead of letting work consume our lives.”
Now I was confused. Was this a date? No. It was an activity to honor the loved ones we lost. But why?
“And if you’d like to come to Lily’s party, we’d love to have you.”
I frowned, unable to understand the change in the conversation. Two minutes ago, it seemed like this thing between us was going to stop before it even got started. Now it appeared this arrangement was going expand from sex to include activities somehow honoring his wife and my mother.
“But if you don’t want to, that’s okay too. Really.” His smile told me he was sincere. “I can understand you not wanting to go to a kids birthday party.”
“I’d like to go.” I would?
“Good.” He stood, and I rose with him. “I have an incredible urge to kiss you now.”
“I won’t stop you.”
“The problem is, if I do that, then I’ll want to touch you and… well, I have a conference call in a few minutes.”
“I understand.” I turned to walk out the door.
“Bella?”
“Hmm?” I looked over my shoulder.
“Tomorrow, at lunch, let's go to the Met.”
“Ah…”
“There is an exhibit of Eugène Delacroix there. He’s French, right?”
I didn’t know much about art, but Delacroix was a French name. I nodded.
“Joanna had always wanted us to learn more about art.”
I started to say it was a date but thought better of it. “I’d like that.”
He looked pleased with himself. “Good.”
I left his office, feeling like he’d turned my world on its side.
At the end of the day, I was still trying to figure out what had happened in Blake’s office. Unable to sort it out, I decided to visit the break room and get some of the vanilla cookies Lily liked. I’d include them in my birthday present for her. How sweet that she wanted me there, and that her grandmother loved her so much to indulge her request. There was so much love around Blake, but I wasn’t sure he appreciated it. It was if he only noticed the love he’d lost from his wife, but not the love he still had from his family. I wished I could help fill the hole his wife left behind. Not to replace her, because I knew that could never happen. But help fill the void that seemed to consume him.
The room was empty since everyone on the floor had left for the day. Except maybe Blake since he was a workaholic like me.
I fed my bills into the machine and poked in the number for the cookies. I’d just bought a third packet when I heard, “Ms. Hanson.”
I looked over my shoulder. “Mr. Alexander.”
“I was leaving and heard someone here. That’s not your dinner I hope.”
“They’re for Lily’s birthday. These are what she wanted when she was here the other day.” I fed my money in one more time, to get a fourth package.
“You don’t need to get her anything.”
“I can’t go to a birthday party without a gift.” I picked up the cookies and put them in my bag. “I’ve got a couple of other ideas as well.” I doubt they’d compare to what Blake and Patsy would get her, but hopefully, she’d still enjoy it.
“Don’t get too much. She’ll just be happy that you’re there.” He moved toward me, his eyes studying me. “You’ve bewitched the Alexander family.”
I smirked. “I doubt that.”
“It’s true.” His fingers tugged lightly on a strand of my hair. “Lily thinks you’re a princess. Snow White.”
“What?”
“It’s the dark hair, fair skin, and brilliant eyes, I suspect.” His voice was husky. “It is beguiling.” His words were the type any woman wanted to hear, but I reminded myself, this was just lust.
“You’re captivating too.”
“Am I?” He ran his finger along my cheek. “Are you ensnared by me? Because you’ve entangled me and I seem to be helpless.”
“Yes.”
“Why?” His body moved closer until he was a whisper away.
The scent and heat of him made my body ache. “I don’t know. I’m just drawn to you. To the way I feel when I’m around you.”
He pressed his hips forward against mine and I could feel his arousal. “How do you feel?”
“Excited.”
“Aroused?” One hand slid up my waist to the outside of my blouse over my breasts. My nipples puckered and hardened.
“Yes.” My voice was husky.
His other hand slid down my backside, squeezing my ass. “You have a great ass, Bella.”
“I’m glad you like it.”
He gave a short laugh. “Do you want another lesson?”
“Yes.” I seemed to have lost my ability to speak more than one word at a time. One syllable was about all I could manage.
He kissed me, his hands sliding my skirt up. His fingers hooked onto my panties, pushing them down.
He broke the kiss, trailing his lips to my ear. “Turn around.”
I looked at him, not sure what he meant.
His hands turned me until I was facing the table. “Lean forward. Brace yourself on the table.”
It was then I realized his intention and an erotic thrill ran up my spine. I put my hands on the table.
He pushed my shirt up exposing my ass, squeezing my flesh. “Fine ass.” His lips kissed the lower part of my back as he undid his slacks. I looked over my shoulder, watching as he sheathed his dick with protection.
“Are you wet, Bella?”
“Yes.” And aching with need. It was amazing how fast he could have me practically writhing.
He stepped up to me, placing one hand on my hip, the other stroked my pussy lips. I moaned at how good his touch felt.
“Widen your legs a bit.” He nudged my thighs apart with his hand. “I’m going to take you from behind. Are you okay with that?”
“Yes.” Just hurry. I was burning with need.
He slid his dick between my legs, through my folds.
I moaned again. “Blake…”
“Yes. What do you want Bella?”
“You. I need you.”
The head of his cock pressed at my entrance. Slowly he pushed in until he filled me. God, it felt so good. Full and tight as usual, but different too. He wasn’t hitting my clit this time, but the angle had him hitting a different part inside of me that made my pussy pulse and burn.
“You feel so good around my cock,” he groaned. He withdrew and thrust again, this time with a little more force. His hands reached around me, tweaking my nipples through the thin fabric of my shirt.
“Yes…” I hissed. I tilted my hips,
and ground back against him wanting more contact, deeper contact.
“Do you like this?” His breath came hot in my ear as he kissed my neck.
“Yes, so much.”
“Because I want you to like it too, Bella. I want you to enjoy it.”
“I do.” I moaned as his strokes pushed me up and up. “I like it so much.”
“Good.” His hands went to my hips again, and he began to move faster, thrusting in and out, each time hitting the sweetest spot inside me.
“Oh God Blake… I’m going to come.”
“That’s right… come…” His voice was harsh like he was nearing the edge too.
I gripped the edge of the table, as I moved with him, seeking release until I teetered on the brink. He reached around me and rubbed my clit, and like a rocket, my orgasm shot through me. I cried out, my hips pushing back against him wanting more and more.
He let out a feral growl and then thrust hard as his fingers gripped my hips. He continued to plunge in and out, drawing out my pleasure until my strength gave way, and I had to drop to my forearms on the table.
His hands rubbed up my back. “Are you okay?”
“Yes.” I looked over my shoulder. “I’m spent.”
He smiled. “Good.” He withdrew from me, dealing with the condom, which he buried in the trash, as I straightened my skirt.
“You weren’t worried someone would walk in?” I asked as he returned to me.
“To be honest, I didn’t think about it.” He laughed. “I seem to lose my head with you. But I do know everyone has gone for the day. You’re the only one who works late, Bella. Why is that?”
I shrugged not wanting to tell him I didn’t have much else to do.
He didn’t push me. “Let me walk you down.”
I gathered my things and we made our way to the elevator.
“As you know, I have a meeting with a department store head tomorrow morning, but I’ll meet you at the Met at twelve thirty. Will that work?”
“I’ll have to check with my boss.”
“Is he a hard man?”
I gave him a knowing smile. “Sometimes he’s really hard.”
His laugh included a small growl.
Once I was away from him and heading toward my apartment, I had time to wonder about his proposed trip to the Met. Why was he doing that? Did he have some sort of art fetish? Was it a date? Did he just want to do something nice for me? I couldn’t figure it out. He’d been so clear that this thing between us was just sex. So, what was the trip to the museum about?
Beautiful Mistakes: Contemporary Romance Boxset Books 1-4 Page 49
