by R J Nolan
Dale, already dressed in scrubs and sporting a leather bomber jacket, strode toward her.
She marveled again at her confident stride. There wasn’t any discernible sign of her missing limb. Logan couldn’t help being awed all over again by what Dale had overcome. She had tried hard to convince herself that was why she was making this overture to Dale; she didn’t want to have any part in hurting her—even in a small way. But so far she hadn’t been very successful at persuading herself of that. You’ll be gone by end of the week. Somehow, that reminder didn’t make her feel any better either and caused a sinking sensation in the pit of her stomach. She’d received notification that the physician she was covering for would be returning to work.
“Good evening.” Dale greeted her with the same emotionless demeanor she had maintained during yesterday’s shift after Logan had refused her offering.
“Hi.”
Dale pulled open the door of the staff entrance and started to step inside.
“Wait!” Logan grimaced. It had come out more forcefully than she intended.
Pausing with her foot propping open the door, Dale met her gaze.
Logan shuffled her feet. Just give it to her. She thrust the tray with the two insulated travel mugs and a Del Java bag toward Dale. “Here.”
Dale’s eyebrows arched, but she made no move to take the tray.
Heat worked its way up Logan’s chest. “I’m…I’m sorry about yesterday. That was really nice of you.” She ducked her head. “And I was a jerk.”
“Thank you,” Dale said but still didn’t accept the tray from Logan’s outstretched hand.
Logan forced her head up and met Dale’s gaze. Irises that had been stormy gray just a moment ago were streaked with blue. She struggled not to lose herself in the warmth emanating from Dale’s eyes. A gust of ice-cold rain against her back broke the moment.
“Man, that’s cold,” Dale said. “We usually don’t get these types of storms until late December, not early November. Let’s get inside.”
Logan hurried in and pulled the door closed behind them.
They faced off in the hallway.
“Please take it,” Logan said, again offering the coffee to Dale.
Dale glanced at the tray, then at Logan. “Two cups? I know I drink a lot of coffee but—”
Blushing, Logan tugged one of the stainless-steel cups with a Del Java logo out of the holder. “This one’s mine. It smelled so good. And you know how lousy the coffee is here.”
After finally accepting the offering, Dale opened the bag and peered inside. “Two scones? One would have been enough.” She grinned. “Or did the scones smell good too?”
Logan squirmed, and the blush that had just started to fade blossomed once again on her face. “Um…”
“Come on. Let’s find an empty conference room and enjoy the coffee and scones before our shift starts.”
Relieved to be let off the hook so easily, Logan willingly followed her. The thought that she was making a mistake nagged at her as she walked with Dale. You’ll be gone by the end of the week, she firmly reminded herself again.
Seated at the head of the conference room table, Dale peered at Logan through half-lidded eyes. Her anger at Logan was gone now, doused by Logan’s apology. Maybe she had overreacted to the whole thing. While she had been disappointed last night when Logan refused the coffee and scone, it wasn’t completely unexpected. What had bothered her was Logan leaving the stuff on the community table for anyone to take as if it truly meant nothing to her that Dale had put herself out there. It would have bugged her less if Logan had just tossed the offering when she wasn’t around.
Logan’s gaze remained firmly locked on her half-eaten scone. She had not said anything since a brief ‘thank you’ when Dale passed her the blueberry scone.
What did you expect? That she was suddenly going to open up and start telling you her life story? Dale snorted to herself at the thought. Despite how it had come about, she couldn’t help hoping that this would be the opening she had been looking for to get to know Logan better. Her gaze swept the room as she struggled for something to say. Up to this point, she had resisted asking Logan any personal questions, but now that Logan knew something so private about her, that restraint was waning. Just do it.
After pushing her chair back from the head of the table, Dale turned it sideways so she was facing Logan. “I was just wondering…Have you been doing locums work long? Do you like it?”
Logan choked on the mouthful of coffee she had just taken. She waved Dale off as she started to rise from her chair. When her coughing fit subsided, she said, “I’m fine.” She picked at her scone. “The work’s okay.”
Undeterred, Dale tried again. “How long have you worked for Barron’s?”
Keeping her gaze on the table, Logan finally said, “A while.”
Logan’s prevarication made Dale more determined. “Like what? Six months? A year?”
When Logan looked up, her eyes were as guarded as Dale had ever seen them.
Dale stretched out her legs so that her feet were near Logan’s chair. She rubbed her left knee, then slid her hands down and slightly adjusted her prosthesis, making no attempt to hide the action from Logan.
Blowing out a breath, Logan met her gaze. It was clear she had gotten the message. “Two years.”
“That’s a long time.” It wasn’t uncommon for physicians to work locums at several hospitals, sometimes in multiple states, before making a decision on where they wanted to work permanently. But it was usually over a few months—not years.
Logan shrugged.
“Has it all been in California?”
“No.”
“Did you like any other states better?”
She shrugged again.
This was worse than pulling nails. It was more like trying to pry spikes from a railroad tie. And it was starting to feel like an interrogation. While Dale had a lot more questions, this obviously wasn’t working as a way to get answers. Still, she couldn’t stop herself from asking one last question. She had wondered about this since Logan first arrived at LA Metro. More than once, she had seen the haunted look in Logan’s eyes that could come from seeing horrors no one should be exposed to. “Did you serve in the sandbox before you got out and started working locums?”
“Huh? Sandbox?” Logan’s brow furrowed.
“You’re not a veteran?” Dale couldn’t keep the surprise out of her voice.
“No.” Logan looked down at herself and snorted self-depreciatively. “I’m no vet.” She met Dale’s gaze, her earlier guardedness gone. “But I have nothing but the greatest respect for people who are.”
Dale ducked her head. “Thanks.” Ill at ease with the direction the conversation had taken, she pushed her chair back and stood.
Logan rose and gathered up the remains of their snack. “Well, I guess it’s time to get out there.”
“Thanks again for the coffee and scone.”
“Sure. No problem.” Her gaze darted away from Dale.
Sighing, Dale wondered if she would ever get past the barriers Logan had erected to keep people at bay. While she was clearly a caring physician, in the month that they had worked together, Dale had not seen her connect on a personal level with any of the staff. The mystery that was Logan continued to intrigue her. Not to mention her growing attraction to her. Don’t go there, she fiercely ordered herself. The only thing she had to offer any woman, no matter how appealing, was friendship.
As Dale and Logan rounded the corner, laughter erupted from a group of nurses and residents clustered around the nurses’ station. The sound of one voice in particular caught Dale’s attention. Gretchen. What was she doing here? Gretchen’s name wasn’t on the weekly schedule, nor had Dale received any notification that she would be returning to work. While she was happy for Gretchen that she was well enough to return
, the thought of Logan leaving filled her with a tangible sense of regret.
“Hey, Dale.” Gretchen broke away from the group, walked over, and pulled her into a hug.
She glanced over Gretchen’s shoulder to find Logan sporting a frown. Maybe Logan didn’t want to leave after all. Then she remembered that she would have no idea who Gretchen was. She stepped back from Gretchen and smiled. “How are you feeling?”
“Now that the morning sickness from hell finally stopped, I’m great. Looking forward to getting back to work.”
Dale glanced at Logan to see her reaction to the news.
Logan met her gaze, her face a neutral mask. She didn’t seem the least bit surprised or distressed.
She already knew. The thought stung. She now saw Logan’s peace offering in a whole different light. It wasn’t just an apology. Or an opening to a friendship. It was a good-bye. What did you expect? she repeated to herself. Shoving down her hurt feelings, she forced a smile and made the introductions.
“Gretchen, this is Logan. She’s been helping us out while you were off.”
“Great to meet you.” Gretchen stepped over and clasped Logan’s hand between both of hers. “Thanks for helping out.”
While Dale doubted most people would have picked up on it, she caught Logan’s unease with Gretchen’s overly-tactile personality. She was tempted to rescue her but restrained herself. She doesn’t need or want your help.
Logan tugged her hand out of Gretchen’s grasp and stepped back. “Sure. That’s what I was hired for. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I better get to it.”
Dale sighed as she watched Logan walk away. She glanced at Gretchen, surprised to see her staring with a furrow between her brows. “Not very friendly, is she?”
Bristling at the implied criticism, she struggled not to scowl. “She’s a top-notch ER doctor and has been a great help around here.”
Gretchen’s brow scrunched up and she took a half step back. “I’m glad she worked out.” She laid her hand on Dale’s arm. “I didn’t mean anything by it.”
Forcing a lightness to her voice that she didn’t actually feel, Dale said, “I know. I didn’t see you listed on the schedule this week. Are you starting back tonight?”
“I thought I’d work half shifts for the rest of this week—just to be sure. Then I’ll take over from Logan next week.”
So Logan would be gone by the end of the week. Dale had known from the start that Logan was here only temporarily. And you barely know the woman. That didn’t seem to matter— she still felt the impending loss of her departure.
“Why don’t we grab a cup of coffee?”
She started, pulled from her thoughts by Gretchen. It took a moment to register what she had said. She glanced at the intake board and shook her head. “I should get busy too. We’ll catch up later.”
As Dale walked away, one thought dogged her mind. Logan’s leaving.
CHAPTER 11
Dale straight-armed the door and marched out of the trauma room.
When the door clanged shut behind Dale, Logan glanced at the crestfallen resident, Amber Lane. She felt bad for her, but it wasn’t her place to say anything that might undermine Dale’s authority. “You need me for anything else?”
Lane looked down at the sedated patient, then back at Logan. “No. I’ve got it under control,” she said with an edge of determination in her voice.
“Then I’ll leave you to it.” With a departing nod, she left.
As she made her way toward the nurses’ station, she couldn’t get her mind off Dale. What’s with her tonight? Dale had been somber all night and on this last case, uncharacteristically critical of the resident. That was very unlike the woman she had come to know over the last five weeks. Several steps past the staff lounge, she stopped and backtracked. She pushed open the door and looked inside. No Dale, so she continued on to the nurses’ station.
Checking the intake board, she saw that Dale wasn’t with a patient. “What’s waiting?” she asked the night clerk.
“Nothing. Dr. Corbett just took the last patient.”
Logan glanced at her watch and sighed. There were only three hours left of her final shift at LA Metro. Despite her best intentions, worry about Dale nagged at her as she walked away. Where is she?
Lost in thought, she looked up to find herself standing outside the conference room door where they had shared coffee and a scone earlier in the week. The door was ajar, allowing a narrow sliver of light to spill out into the hallway. She peeked inside and saw Dale sitting with her elbows on the table, head propped on her hands, staring off into space. Don’t get involved. Let it go. The thoughts had barely formed before she found herself pushing open the door to the conference room. Damn it.
“You okay? What’s going on?”
Dale jumped at the sound of Logan’s voice. She had not heard her come in. “I’m fine. It’s nothing.”
“Doesn’t seem that way.” Logan blew out a breath. “Look, I know it’s probably not my place to say anything…” She ducked her head.
“But?”
“You were pretty hard on Lane.”
What? Now she was worried about a resident’s feelings? While Logan had been willing to teach the residents, she had kept a strict, professional barrier between them. “Amber’s a senior resident. She shouldn’t need help putting in a chest tube. Not to mention the fact that she should be able to do a blood gas in her sleep by now.”
“I had a hard time getting the tube placed because of the woman’s size.” Logan put her hand on the back of the chair next to Dale. “I understand what you’re saying about the blood gas, but the radial artery was in an atypical location and overlaid by a vein. It’s hardly a common occurrence to need to use the dorsal side of the hand and go after the pollicis artery to get a blood gas.”
Dale raked her hands through her hair. Logan was right. She had let own problems interfere with her job. “I’ll talk to her.”
“It’s not just that.” Logan pulled out the chair and sat down uninvited.
Arching an eyebrow, Dale glanced at her. Now what?
Logan flushed. For a moment, it looked as if she was reconsidering. Then her lips pressed into a thin line, and she leaned back in the chair. “I know you said you’re fine, but you don’t seem fine to me.”
What do you care? You’re leaving in a couple of hours. As much as Dale wanted to say it out loud, she bit her lip to keep the words inside. Don’t take your troubles out on her—like you did with Amber. She met Logan’s gaze and was warmed by the concern she saw there. She tried unsuccessfully to rekindle her anger with the knowledge that Logan was showing her feelings only because she was leaving and knew it was safe.
Logan reached out and started to touch Dale’s arm. She drew back, then shook her head and laid her hand on Dale’s forearm. “What’s wrong? You’ve been on edge all night.”
Dale looked down at Logan’s hand where it rested on her arm. She wanted to pull away, but the warmth seeping from Logan’s palm seemed to have welded her arm in place. While she wouldn’t speak to her about Casey and the debridement procedure she was facing, Dale couldn’t bring herself to totally disregard Logan’s honest effort to reach out, no matter how belated. “Just have a lot on my mind. A friend is having some medical problems.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. Do you need to leave early? It’s quiet. I can handle the rest of the shift.” She grimaced slightly. “And Dr. Corbett is here too.”
Although troubled, Dale couldn’t help smiling at Logan’s inability to hide her feelings about Gretchen. It had been clear from Gretchen’s first night back that her overly exuberant personality and innocent but frequent invasions of personal space had not endeared her to Logan. She covered Logan’s hand where it still rested on her arm. “Thanks, but that’s not necessary. Our shift is over in a couple of hours.”
“Right.�
�� A deep frown marred Logan’s face. “Okay, then.”
Maybe she doesn’t want to leave. That didn’t change the fact that Logan was leaving, but the thought still cheered Dale. Becoming aware of her hand still covering Logan’s, she withdrew it. When Logan followed suit and removed her hand from Dale’s arm, she immediately missed the warmth. She barely resisted the urge to draw Logan’s hand back to her arm. She’s leaving, she reminded herself. Needing some distance, she pushed her chair back. “I guess we should get back to it.”
As if on cue, their phones rang simultaneously. Together, they headed back into the fray one last time.
As Logan cleared out her locker, her gaze strayed to the door of the staff lounge—again. Due to the sudden influx of patients, she had not seen Dale, except in passing, in the last hour. She growled under her breath. Quit waiting for her. There had been many leave-takings like this over the last two years. Dale was just one of many talented doctors she had worked with. She had never felt the need to say a personal good-bye to any of them. Maybe it was just because she knew how much Dale had suffered and lost. She pushed down her conflicted feelings. Just get your stuff and go.
The door to the lounge swung open, making Logan tense in anticipation.
Dr. McKenna stepped into the room.
They had seen each other a few times at shift change, but other than the three days she had worked with Dr. McKenna, Logan had not had any sustained contact with her.
“Oh, good. I’m glad I caught you before you left.”
Was she going to ask her to stay? Surprised at how tempted she would be by the offer, Logan immediately quashed the thought. It was definitely time to go.
“I wanted to thank you for the great job you did for us.” Dr. McKenna walked over and offered her hand. “Dale has had nothing but glowing praise for your work.”
An unexpected flush heated Logan’s face. This just proved her point. She was getting too close to the people here—especially Dale. She shook Dr. McKenna’s hand, then shoved both her hands into her pants pockets. “Thanks.”
