by Wolf, Bree
And yet, Matthew knew he would try. He would do whatever she would ask of him in order to prove himself to her. As well as to himself.
After all, after his initial hesitation to admit to himself how he felt about his betrothed, Matthew had come to realise that too much time in life was wasted by lying to oneself. His heart already knew the truth even if his mind refused to acknowledge it. Why continue this charade?
Lies had brought him nothing but doubt and pain and regret, and Matthew refused to continue to lead the life his father had forced on him. His own family, his own wife, would know peace and happiness. He would make certain of that.
Glancing around the room, Matthew realised that the house still looked the same as when his father had been alive. In a strange way, it was as though he were still there. His influence finding his son even from the grave.
That would not do.
Determined to turn over a new leaf, Matthew vowed to speak to his wife the next day and discuss with her what changes to make and how to turn the house into a home for their family.
Once more, his eyes travelled to her as she sat beside him, her back rigid and her hands clenched in her lap. The sight pained him greatly, and yet, it was to be expected. After all, the past few days had changed her life fundamentally. Torn from the only home she had ever known, his new wife suddenly found herself among strangers. Certainly, that alone was enough to make one fearful.
As the subdued celebration of their wedding continued on, Matthew found himself watching his wife as she spoke to her family as well as his cousin’s wife Beth. While her mother and grandmother seemed to be trying to coax a smile from her, Beth spoke with more vehemence. Matthew wished he could hear what was being said. How did they even know each other? When Tristan had first called upon him for help, Beth had referred to Lady Adelaide as her friend. Still, the bond that seemed to exist between them appeared far deeper than a new friendship would allow. After all, Beth had only recently come to town herself about a year ago.
Hers and Tristan’s had been a whirlwind romance. Or it would have been if it had not been for his father’s interference.
As dark thoughts rose once more, Matthew put them firmly away. They had no place on his wedding day. No, today he would concentrate on his new bride. Nothing else.
As he continued to watch her, Matthew observed a few things that had eluded him before. She always seemed to keep a safe distance from her father, never looking in his direction for more than a second. Her shoulders seemed to relax whenever she drew near to her mother and grandmother, the look in her eyes growing less fearful. And when her eyes would meet his own by accident, he saw nothing short of sheer terror there.
“Lost in thought?”
Almost flinching at the sound of Beth’s voice, Matthew forced a smile onto his face. In truth, the sight of his wife’s fearful retreat made him feel sick to the stomach.
A charming smile on her face, Beth looked from him to his new wife, her gaze watchful. “She’s afraid,” she observed, direct as always.
Swallowing, Matthew nodded. Then he forced his gaze away from his wife and looked at Beth. “Tristan said she had agreed to marry me.”
Beth nodded.
“Why?”
A hint of humour as well as disbelief came to her face. “Why?”
Matthew nodded. “We had never even been introduced. Why would she agree to marry me?” His heart raced as doubts clawed at his heart. All these past three days, he had told himself that he was doing this to keep her safe, and yet, he had known all along that at least partly he was marrying her because he wanted her.
Had he been selfish? Should he have tried to find another solution? One that would not have forced her hand?
“Because I told her that she would be safe with you,” Beth replied, her blue eyes lingering on his face as though trying to see into his mind.
“You did?” Matthew asked, touched to know that she would think of him thus. “Did she believe you?”
Beth chuckled, “She married you, did she not?”
“Then why is she afraid?”
Sighing, Beth looked at him as though he had asked her why the sky was blue. “She’s scarred,” his cousin’s wife whispered, her gaze holding his as though to ensure that he was truly listening. “You need to be good to her,” she said, a gentle smile on her lips, “and patient.” The look in her eyes grew in intensity, filled with a deeper meaning. “She will not give her trust lightly. She can’t.”
Understanding what Beth was saying, Matthew nodded. “I promise. I shall keep her safe.”
“I know you will,” Beth replied before a teasing gleam came to her blue eyes. “But do make her happy as well, won’t you? Safety is nothing without happiness.”
Returning her smile, Matthew nodded. “I promise,” he said once again, determined to seek out his wife as soon as possible and set her mind at ease.
When it came to arranged marriages, the wedding night was generally a bit of a precarious situation. Two strangers sharing something immensely intimate could easily lead to an even greater distance between them than there had been initially. The look in his wife’s eyes told him that she all but feared the night ahead, and the thought of her submitting to him against her will was one of the vilest ones Matthew had ever known. He would never want to see her hurt, especially not by him. No, in order to gain her trust, he would have to prove that she had nothing to fear from him.
Still, despite his intention to seek her out immediately, Matthew found himself detained, first by his own cousin and then by his wife’s brother. While Tristan claimed the opportunity to once more tease Matthew about his partiality toward his new wife, Adelaide’s brother John simply looked at him for a long moment before ordering Matthew to treat his sister kindly. Then he wandered off, yet another drink in his hand. Not unlike his father.
By the time, Matthew had reclaimed his senses from such a strange encounter, he found his wife already climbing the stairs to the upper floor. Her mother and grandmother were by her side, speaking to her in hushed tones. Still, his wife’s face looked tense, and yet, expressionless as she held herself rigid. Moments later, she was lost from his sight, and he cursed himself for missing his chance to put her at ease.
Of course, Matthew had no intention of changing his mind with regard to their wedding night. However, he wished he did not need to keep his wife in suspense. Judging from the look in her eyes, she would no doubt worry about what lay ahead when in truth there was nothing to worry about.
If only she knew.
Chapter Twelve – Behind a Marriage
Stepping over the threshold into her new bedchamber, Adelaide felt the air rush from her lungs. Panic encroached on her from all sides as her gaze travelled from the vanity to the slow burning fire in the hearth to the large bed. Her own trunk had been unpacked during the celebration and all was ready, the room awaiting its lady.
“Everything shall be all right,” her mother whispered, coming to stand beside her left shoulder. Gently, she placed a hand on Adelaide’s cheek, her pale eyes finding her daughter’s. “Do not worry. He seems like a kind man. I’m certain it will not be so unpleasant.”
Closing her eyes, Adelaide inhaled a deep breath, her legs trembling with the need to get away. How had she ended up in this situation? How had this happened? Only a mere few days had passed, and now all of a sudden she was married. Married to a man she did not know. A man she had hardly spoken to. A man who knew nothing about her.
And she could only hope he never would. If he discovered her secret, what would he−?
“My dear, you look like a lamb being led to the slaughter,” her grandmother observed with a chuckle, cutting off her daughter-in-law’s objections with a quick wave of her hand. Stepping closer, she smiled at Adelaide, wrapping her warm hands around Adelaide’s chilled ones. “I agree with your mother in one aspect, your new husband truly is a kind man, and I urge you not to see him as a threat.”
Adelaide swallowed as her fear
s rose before her, taking shape.
“He will not hurt you,” her grandmother said kindly, and yet, there was an urgency in her voice that Adelaide had rarely heard before. “If you’re afraid, which I can see that you are, then tell him so. Ask him to be patient. Ask him to wait.”
“Do you truly believe that would be a good idea?” Adelaide’s mother stepped forward, deep concern resting in her eyes as she looked at her mother-in-law. “Will that not upset him? Make him angry with her?”
Regret came to her grandmother’s eyes as she looked at her daughter-in-law. “I know you do believe so, but not all men are like that.” Her gaze shifted back to Adelaide. “I assure you your husband is not the kind of man to be angered by honesty. On the contrary, I do believe it will bring the two of you closer.”
Trying to swallow the large lump in her throat, Adelaide nodded, wanting more than anything to believe her grandmother’s words, to believe that her counsel would guide her someplace safe. And yet, deep down, her own experience told her otherwise. There was no place that was truly safe.
“He might be understanding,” her mother objected once again, “but even kind men might get upset if their wives refuse them and on their wedding night no less.” Shaking her head, she looked almost sternly at her daughter. “No, you’d be wise to hide your fears and submit to his wishes.” Tension came to her eyes before she briefly dropped her gaze. “I assure you it will be less painful that way.”
Torn, Adelaide looked from her mother to her grandmother. Two women. Two stories. Two marriages. Both as different as night and day.
Knowing only too well the nature of her parents’ marriage, Adelaide was not surprised by her mother’s counsel. Neither was she surprised by her grandmother’s as her marriage had been a true love match. Adelaide’s grandfather, a man she barely remembered, had been a sweet and kind man, utterly in love with his wife, and she had mourned him deeply when he had passed before his time. It had broken her in a different way than Adelaide’s father had broken her mother with his cold demeanour and complete disregard for her feelings.
Adelaide sighed. Which counsel ought she to heed? Which road ought she to travel?
Reminding herself that there was no love between herself and her new husband, Adelaide suspected that where her own marriage was concerned she would do well to heed her mother’s advice. Her husband might not be as hot-tempered as her father, but she had heard with her own ears the force of his anger.
A shiver ran down her back as she remembered the sound of his voice echoing through the door of her father’s study. That day he had come to claim her−those had been his words−and tonight she had no doubt that he would demand she submit to him. Indeed, he would expect it. Would not any husband? Even those in love? No, she would not dare incite his anger tonight and have it directed at her. She could not refuse him.
Her body tensed as she looked up at her grandmother, her gaze darting to her mother as well, as she gave voice to her greatest fear. “Do you think he will know?”
While her mother dropped her gaze, Adelaide found her grandmother’s holding hers, unwavering. Even now, Adelaide marvelled at the strength she often saw in her grandmother, wishing she had inherited at least some of it. Certainly, it would serve her tonight.
“Do not worry, my dear,” her grandmother counselled once again, the certainty in her voice pulling on Adelaide’s heart, making it yearn for a world of which her grandmother spoke. “Trust your instincts. It is something you need to learn as your old life only taught you how to be afraid.” Grasping Adelaide’s hands, her grandmother looked at her with emphasis. “Believe me when I say that I would never have urged you to accept him if I’d thought for a moment that he was not worthy of you.”
Could her grandmother be right? Adelaide wondered. Was her husband such a rare specimen of a husband? A man who could not be angered by his wife’s refusal? Did such a man truly exist?
“But you hardly know him,” Adelaide objected, afraid to trust in hope. Too often had she been disappointed. “You said so yourself.”
“You’re right,” her grandmother admitted, the look in her eyes no less intense than before. “But Beth knows him. Knows him well.”
“Beth?” Adelaide mumbled, once more taken aback by the depth of her grandmother’s relationship with Lady Elton. It seemed they knew almost everything about each other, their trust in one another utterly complete. How had this happened? How had this bond formed?
“She only wants to protect you,” her grandmother continued, “and if she says that you’ll be safe with him, then I believe her. And I urge you to believe me.” Her hands tightened on Adelaide’s. “You have nothing to fear from him.” Again, she shook her head for emphasis. “Nothing at all. He is not the villain in this story, my dear. He’s your knight in shining armour.”
Chapter Thirteen – A Misunderstanding
After bidding everyone goodbye, Matthew headed upstairs to seek out his wife. A soft smile played on his lips as he remembered her grandmother’s stern look when she had told him to be good to her granddaughter upon taking her leave. Still, despite the severity in her tone, there had been crinkles of humour around her eyes as though she knew and whole-heartedly believed that he would be.
Matthew had to admit he liked the dowager countess. Oddly enough, she reminded him of Beth, always speaking her mind, direct and unflinching. It was a rare trait.
One he greatly admired.
As Matthew walked up to the door, it suddenly opened, and a maid stepped out of his wife’s bedchamber. Upon seeing him, she quickly curtsied and leaving the door ajar walked briskly down the corridor.
Inhaling a deep breath, Matthew gently pushed open the door, the warm glow of the room beckoning him forward. The fire in the hearth cast a beautiful light over his surroundings, and the lamp on his wife’s vanity gently illuminated the soft blush on her cheeks.
Dressed only in her night rail, she stood in the middle of the room, her eyes slightly widened as she stared at him.
Unprepared for the sight, Matthew felt overwhelmed by the softness she radiated. Her dark curls were undone and trailed down over her shoulders. Her blue eyes, wide and deep, seemed pale even in the darkened room as they held his own.
As his eyes trailed further down, tempted by the way the soft fabric of her night rail hugged her delicate frame, Matthew took note of the slight tremble in her hands. Lifting his gaze, he found hers darting from his, looking past him at something off to the side.
Turning to look, Matthew saw her robe lying over the back of a chair. “Allow me to assist you,” he said, a gentle smile on his face as he walked over to the chair and picked up the soft garment. Then he approached her, holding it open so she could slip her arms into the sleeves.
Standing barely an arm’s length in front of her, Matthew watched as she lifted her gaze to his−if only for a split second−before she turned and allowed him to help her into the robe. “If you’re cold,” he whispered, inhaling the rose scent of her hair, “come and stand closer to the fire. The days and especially the nights do still get a bit cold this time of year.”
Stepping around her, Matthew tended to the fire, ensuring it would burn throughout the night and keep her warm. The thought of her chilled in her new bed, in her new home, made him feel neglectful. After all, she was his to protect now…in every way.
Even if only from a cold.
The thought warmed his heart, and when he turned back to look at her, his mind darted to a future of a shared home. Of happiness. Of companionship. Even of love.
“Is there anything else you require?” he asked as he stepped closer, his gaze caught by the way the light made her hair shimmer like diamonds. “You only need to ask. All I have is yours.” He sighed. “Ours.”
At his words, her gaze lifted and met his, her own unsteady, and yet, her eyes were slightly narrowed as though she tried to see past his offer to a deeper understanding. For a moment, it seemed to Matthew as though the distance between them was de
creasing, as though the foundation for a bridge to bring them together had been set.
His heart danced with joy, and he could not help the smile that drew up the corners of his mouth.
Inhaling a shuddering breath, his wife dropped her gaze, and a midnight black curl danced forward, framing her face in a most becoming way.
His gaze trailed it from her temple all the way to its tip, his fingers itching with the need to feel it against his skin. Instinctively, Matthew reached out a hand to tuck it back behind her ear.
As his hand moved forward, her eyes widened in alarm, and with a sharp intake of breath, his wife shrank back.
Matthew froze, his jaw dropping as he stared at the panic now all too evident in her pale eyes.
Seeing his expression, she suddenly stilled. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, her voice almost choked as her hands curled into fists at her sides. All too evident was also the tension that rooted her body to the spot, not permitting her to retreat further. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…” She swallowed hard, watching him fearfully like a deer expecting the wolf to strike.
The sight pierced Matthew’s heart, and he realised that he had been wrong. Closing his eyes, he inhaled a deep breath, cursing himself inwardly for not seeing it sooner. Too lost had he been in his fantasy of a loving family and a welcoming home. He had forgotten Beth’s words as well as his promise to her.
Lifting his gaze, Matthew looked at his wife, wondering how he could have been so blind. “You’re not cold, are you?” he all but mumbled, seeing her muscles twitch with each word he spoke. “You’re not cold. It’s me, isn’t it? You’re…you’re afraid.” Holding her gaze, he nodded. “Afraid of me.”
At his observation, the panic in her eyes grew in intensity, gripping her as though wishing to squeeze the life from her. He could see that she wanted nothing more but to retreat, to put a safe distance between them, but she held herself in place. Sheer willpower kept her where she was, her mouth opening as she clearly searched for words to appease him.
