by Wolf, Bree
“Tillie, would you help me with this?” her husband called out to the little girl, waving her over. He stopped right beside the trunk, his gaze darting from Tillie to the heavy-looking lid. “I’m not sure I’ll manage to open it on my own. I think I’ll need your help.”
Bouncing up and down, Tillie stepped closer. “I’ll help. I’m strong.”
“I’m glad you are,” her husband replied with a sidelong glance at Adelaide. The moment their eyes met, a deep smile lit up his face, and Adelaide felt her insides quiver.
“What’s in it?” Tillie asked, drawing his attention back to her.
“Oh, I’m hoping we’ll find a few dolls and perhaps an old tea set. You see this trunk belonged to my cousin.”
“Your cousin?” Tillie asked, running a hand over the lid. “What’s her name?”
“Henrietta.”
“That’s a pretty name.”
Adelaide’s husband nodded. “It is, and so is Tillie.”
With bright eyes, the little girl beamed up at him, and Adelaide felt her heart warm at this peaceful scene. It was exactly the life she had always dreamed of. Nothing spectacular. Nothing noteworthy by society’s standards. Just a simple life with people she loved and who loved her.
Silent joy.
Together, her husband and Tillie pushed open the heavy lid, and the little girl squealed with joy when she beheld the dolls. “Oh, they’re so pretty,” she exclaimed, setting them side by side onto the settee. “Can we have a tea party?” she asked Adelaide’s husband when she spotted the old porcelain cups.
“Of course, that’s the very reason I had this brought down. It’s just…” His face crinkled as though in embarrassment. “I don’t know how to make tea. Do you?”
Eagerly, Tillie nodded. “I’ll show you.”
Absorbed in the scene before her, Adelaide almost flinched when her grandmother placed a hand on her arm. She sucked in a sharp breath, and her arm flew to her chest. “I’m sorry,” Adelaide gasped. “I seem to have been lost in thought.”
Her grandmother grinned. “So, it would seem.” Her gaze drifted to the two setting up the tea set on the coffee table. “He is a good man.”
Adelaide nodded, touched by her husband’s tender ways and attention toward Tillie. “He is indeed.”
Her grandmother’s face sobered. “Did you tell him?”
A shiver went down Adelaide’s spine at the question, and for a moment, she closed her eyes. “I can’t,” she whispered, seeing understanding, and yet, also disapproval in her grandmother’s gaze. “I’m afraid.”
“I know you are,” her grandmother said, gently drawing Adelaide from the peaceful scene beside them and farther away to the other side of the room. “But lies are like poison for a marriage, and secrets are no better.”
Adelaide nodded, remembering her husband’s words from the day before. He had lived with lies and secrets far too long and had come to loathe them for they brought nothing but pain. How would he react if he found out that she had been keeping something from him all this time? “I’m afraid he’ll reject me once I tell him.” Shaking her head, Adelaide turned to the window. “I admit in the beginning I only worried about him getting angry at me, the way Father gets angry. But now,” a deep sigh left her lips, “now it’s different.”
“You’ve come to care for him,” her grandmother observed, a pleased tone in her voice. “I had hoped you would.”
“Yes,” Adelaide replied with sudden vehemence as she turned to meet her grandmother’s eyes. “Yes, I care for him. I care for him deeply. I’m afraid I…” Swallowing, she drew in a deep breath. “I’m afraid I might be losing my heart to him.”
“Would that be so bad?”
Adelaide shrugged. “If he rejects me once he knows, then yes.” Tears began to sting her eyes, and Adelaide quickly blinked them away. “Losing him will be worse if he holds my heart.”
Placing a gentle hand on Adelaide’s shoulder, her grandmother looked at her as one would look at a child who has not yet come to see reason. “I understand your fears, my dear. But I do believe that living this lie, keeping this secret from someone you feel so deeply for, will not bring you happiness. The longer you wait the harder it will be to reveal the truth and the more he might feel betrayed by someone he trusted.”
Adelaide nodded, knowing her grandmother’s words to be true, and yet, fear held her back. “I’ll think about it.”
“Do so,” her grandmother urged. “But don’t wait too long. I swear you will regret it if you do.”
Nodding once more, Adelaide tried to focus her thoughts as there was something else she needed to discuss with her grandmother. “He suggested Tillie come live with us,” she said without preamble, unable to wait any longer for her grandmother’s verdict.
The old woman’s gaze widened ever so slightly, and yet, her head bobbed up and down as though she had expected this to happen. As though to prove Adelaide’s assessment, her grandmother smiled. “I cannot say I’m surprised.” Her gaze travelled to Adelaide’s husband, currently sitting in line with Tillie’s dolls on the settee, sipping tea. “He looks like a man starved for a family he can dote upon.” Sighing, she turned her attention back to Adelaide, her eyes full of meaning. “He will be a wonderful father.”
“I do believe so, too,” Adelaide whispered, warmth flooding her heart at the thought of having a happy little family all her own. “Do you think we can simply bring her here?” she asked, all but holding her breath. “Do you think there would be…consequences if we did so? Whispers? Rumours? Would−?”
“I do not believe so,” her grandmother replied instantly. “Your father will not miss her, and although society often pretends to turn a blind eye, everyone is well aware who has been raising the girl these past two years. Your brother’s rather immature and somewhat reckless character is well known, and people will most likely speak highly of you for taking in Tillie.”
“Good,” Adelaide mumbled, unable to ignore the nagging feeling that she ought to speak to her husband−tell him the truth−before bringing Tillie into their family. If he truly were to reject her, the little girl would suffer, too.
“I heard you spoke to Beth.”
Adelaide’s head snapped up, her eyes finding her grandmother’s face a trifle tense. “I did,” she said, wondering if her grandmother was worried she would be angry for being excluded from their secret. “I understand.” Placing a hand on her grandmother’s arm, Adelaide smiled, feeling the older woman’s muscles relax. “I mean I wish I had known, but I understand that some secrets are necessary.” Her gaze shifted to Tillie.
“I’m glad,” her grandmother replied, a deep smile on her face as she placed her own hand on Adelaide’s. “I’ve always wanted you two to know each other as sisters. Beth is a remarkable, young woman just like you, and although you’ve both suffered in the past, you’ve grown stronger because of it. It’s good to know that you have each other now.” She glanced at Tillie. “I shall speak to your father, but I doubt that he will even take notice. Ever since he’s learnt of Beth’s true identity, he’s locked himself away in his study, drinking even more than before.”
Sadness came to her grandmother’s eyes as she spoke of her son, and Adelaide wondered what kind of a person her father had been as a child, as a young man. He could not possibly have been born the man he was today. What had changed him? Made him unfeeling? Would they ever know?
Adelaide doubted it. Still, she wondered, if he truly did not care about any one of them, why did this news about his firstborn daughter seem to affect him so?
“Give me two days,” her grandmother said, interrupting Adelaide’s thoughts, “and then come for Tillie. I promise everything will be ready by then.” A soft smile came to her face as she looked at the little girl. “She deserves to live in a happy family, a happy home. You’ll be good for each other.”
“Thank you, Grandmother. A part of me wishes you and mother could come live with us as well.”
Her gran
dmother chuckled. “Oh, you don’t mean that, my dear. Enjoy your own little family, but I promise I shall call on you frequently.”
Adelaide smiled. “Any time you feel like it. You’ll always be welcome.”
“Thank you, my dear,” her grandmother whispered, pulling Adelaide into an embrace. “I’m proud of you. You’ve done well.”
After bidding her grandmother and Tillie farewell−at least temporarily−Adelaide turned to her husband. “It was such a delight to see you with Tillie. I had no idea you were so good with children.”
Her husband chuckled. “Neither did I. She truly is a sweet girl, and a clever one. In the end, she had me cleaning up the dishes while she and the dolls lounged around on the settee.”
Adelaide laughed. “You need to be careful or you’ll lose your heart to her. I know. I’m speaking from experience.”
Her husband smiled. “I fear it is already too late for that…Addy.”
Adelaide froze at hearing Tillie’s nickname for her leave his lips. For a moment, she simply stared at him, seeing the teasing grin on his face and the mischievous twinkle in his eyes. “Don’t call me that. It makes me feel like a little girl.”
“But she is allowed?” her husband asked in mock outrage.
Adelaide grinned. “She is a little girl.”
“Fine,” he relented. “What may I call you then?”
Feeling heat creep up her cheeks, Adelaide averted her gaze. “If you wish, call me Adelaide.”
A gentle hand settled under her chin, lifting her head until she met her husband’s gaze. “I do wish,” he whispered, smiling at her.
“Good,” Adelaide replied, feeling a sudden urge to tease him. “May I call you Mattie?”
As expected, her husband’s eyes went wide, and he laughed loudly. “If you insist,” he finally said. “However, I, too, would prefer you call me Matthew.”
“Then I shall.”
For a long while, they stood there, looking at one another, and Adelaide could feel the air around them grow heavy with meaning. Excitement seized her, and yet, goose bumps rose on her flesh. When the weight of his gaze grew too heavy for her to hold, she dropped her eyes to the floor. “Are you certain? About Tillie?” Taking a step back, she looked up at him once more. “She can be quite noisy, and once she settles in she can be difficult to handle. You need to be certain.”
“I am,” her husband assured her before his gaze swept over their surroundings. “The hushed silence has lingered in this house for far too long. We could do with a little laughter.”
Adelaide smiled. “You’ll be getting a lot.”
“The more the better.” He grinned. “I have no doubts.”
Adelaide sighed, wishing she could say the same.
If only she could trust that her secret would not destroy the fragile bond that was slowly developing between them.
If only.
Chapter Twenty-Seven – Return to an Old Life
Two days later, Matthew found himself seated across from his wife in the carriage on their way to her father’s townhouse. Her gaze was distant, and her hands kept fidgeting with her skirts or the hem of her sleeve. Occasionally, she would draw in a long, shuddering breath as though she had all but forgotten to breathe. Her face was tense, her jaw clenched, and now and then she would sink her teeth into her lower lip as though fighting for control, desperately trying to maintain her composure.
“Scream if you want,” Matthew suggested, a mild grin on his face as she turned wide eyes to him.
“Excuse me?”
“You seem unbearably uncomfortable,” he observed, trying his best to sound mildly cheerful, adding a bit of a teasing note to his voice. “Perhaps it would help. I find it tension-relieving.”
Her eyes widened even more. “You scream when you’re tense?”
Matthew sighed, “Not always,” he admitted. “I try not to in public, and yet, can you imagine what it would be like to stand in the middle of a ballroom and start screaming at the top of your lungs?”
A soft chuckle escaped his wife’s lips as she shook her head at him. “You’re teasing me.”
Matthew shrugged. “Perhaps. Perhaps not.”
A soft smile hung on her lips as she inhaled a deep, strengthening breath. “Thank you,” she whispered, her blue eyes shining like the clear blue afternoon sky.
“Any time,” Matthew replied, feeling himself getting lost in the gentleness of her beautiful features. Before he lost all hold on reality though, he cleared his throat, trying to focus his thoughts. “All will be well,” he said, regretting the doubt that immediately came to his wife’s gaze. “If your father is truly bothered by the girl, then why would he insist she stay? No, I do not believe he will.” A grin came to his face at the thought of his wife’s grandmother and the stern look she had given him on their wedding day. “I’m certain your grandmother took care of everything. She seems like a very capable woman to me. Do you not agree?”
Another sigh left his wife’s lips, and Matthew took note of the slight relaxation that came to her shoulders. “That she is,” Adelaide agreed, a warm smile playing on her lips. “She always seems greater than life, like nothing can stop her, as though she can accomplish anything. She has an iron will.”
Matthew held her gaze. “So, you have that from her?”
His wife’s mouth opened…and then closed as she stared at him, clearly taken aback.
“You do,” Matthew stated, conviction strong in his voice. He did not want there to be any doubt in her mind about how he saw her. “You don’t give yourself enough credit, Adelaide. You are strong, and you know what you want, and you see it through…in a very gentle and compassionate way. It’s who you are.”
Tears misted her eyes, and she quickly blinked them away. Her eyes met his, and she was about to say something when the carriage jarred to a halt. Her eyes drifted out the window, and she inhaled a deep breath as she beheld her father’s townhouse, a place she had not seen since their wedding.
Stepping outside, Matthew held out his hand to her. “Are you ready?”
Again, she inhaled a deep breath before her blue eyes hardened, a note of determination in them. “I am,” she said, sliding her delicate hand into his.
The way she leaned on him as she stepped out of the carriage made Matthew wish that she trusted he would always be at her side, always holding her hand, always ready to catch her. He could only hope she knew that.
After stepping across the threshold, they were received by his wife’s mother and grandmother. While the dowager countess welcomed them warmly, Lady Radcliff looked tense, whispering something under her breath as she hugged her daughter.
Tension hung in the air, and as Matthew glanced around, he felt reminded of his father’s house. The same gloom he had always considered normal while growing up lingered everywhere in the earl’s home as well. It spoke of the influence of a hardened man, a man incapable of love and devotion, a man lost in an obsession, disinterested in the well-being of those under his care.
Only his own father’s passing had been able to lift the gloom from his home. Matthew was certain of it as he thought of his wife’s gentle smiles, the strength he saw in his mother’s eyes these days as well as the echo of Tillie’s childish giggles echoing through the hall. Indeed, his house was becoming a true home, a place where a family would feel safe and loved. A place where he felt at ease. A place where he felt welcome.
The earl’s house, however, had not undergone such a change, and it probably never would. Not as long as the source of that gloom still lived under its roof. It was sad to think of how one man could affect an entire family, robbing them of their happiness.
“Do not look so concerned,” the dowager countess chided her granddaughter. “Everything is in place. As expected, your father barely blinked when I informed him, and he hasn’t set foot outside of his study in the past two days.”
Matthew noticed the hint of sadness that hung on the old woman’s face, and he felt awed by the sile
nt strength with which she pushed it aside, unwilling to yield to it.
Adelaide’s face relaxed, and a soft smile came to her lips. “I’m glad. I admit I had doubts.”
Her grandmother chuckled, “Have you learnt nothing growing up with me? There is nothing I cannot do if I put my mind to it.” She took a step toward Adelaide, her eyes intent as she looked at her. “And you are my granddaughter. Don’t ever think yourself incapable of something. Those who succeed are not better equipped to handle life. They are simply more determined than those who fail. Never forget that.”
Sighing, Adelaide embraced her grandmother. “Thank you…for everything.”
“Perhaps we should hurry this along,” Lady Radcliff suggested, casting a concerned glance down the corridor that Matthew knew led to the earl’s study. He could see the tension on her face, the same tension he had seen countless times on his mother’s and knew exactly the kind of life the lady of the house lived.
Matthew’s heart went out to her, and he wished there was something he could do to bring the earl to his senses and help him realise how fortunate he was to have such a loving and devoted family.
Still, Matthew knew that any attempt would be one in futility.
In the sudden silence, footsteps echoed to their ears from the upper floor and then down the stairs. Stepping out of the drawing room, Matthew saw a young woman in uniform hasten toward them, her face pale and her eyes wide. “She’s gone,” she all but yelled, her hands gesturing wildly. “I was packing the last of her things and when I turned around, she was gone.”
“She’s probably hiding somewhere in the house,” Matthew suggested with a chuckle, which died on his lips when he took note of the women around him. All their faces had gone pale to match that of the child’s nurse, alarm in their eyes as they glanced around themselves as though hoping Tillie would simply materialise out of thin air.
“We need to find her,” Lady Radcliff all but whispered, her gaze once more darting down the corridor which led to the earl’s study. “But quietly. Do not disturb him.”
