by Wolf, Bree
Bart chuckled, and Adelaide could not keep herself from rolling her eyes at him. “Oh, we’ve known each other all our lives. We practically grew up together. I was close friends with her brother, but the two of us spent much time together as well.” Again, he winked at her−that blasted man!
Adelaide could all but feel the tension in her husband’s body as he stood beside her, rigid as a stone column. His jaw was clenched, and his hands seemed as tight on his glass as her own were.
“If you’ll excuse me,” Bart suddenly said, respectfully inclining his head, “I have another old acquaintance to greet.” Yet again, the man winked at her−was this some kind of affliction? “See you around, Addy.” And then he strode away as though nothing had happened, perhaps completely unaware of the damage he had done.
Clearing his throat, Matthew downed his drink in one gulp. “I suggest we return home,” he said, his gaze never once meeting hers. “It is late, and I cannot say I’m enjoying myself at present.”
Unable to discover her voice, Adelaide merely nodded before she slipped her hand through the crook of his arm and allowed him to escort her to their carriage. The entire drive home, her husband did not say a word, only mumbled something unintelligible to her rather desperate attempts to return the ease that had existed between them only a few hours ago.
Politely, he helped her up the stoop into their home and then up the steps to the upper floor. All the while, he did not say a single word, and yet, Adelaide could feel his emotions burning under the surface like a volcano about to erupt. To Adelaide’s surprise, she realised that she did not fear him.
Certainly, she feared what he might make of the events of this evening, what he might think of her and how their relationship might change. But she was not afraid of him. No matter how angry he might be, he would never raise his hand to her. He would not hurt her, and the knowledge of that put Adelaide at ease.
Escorting her to her chamber, her husband held open the door for her, and Adelaide felt her heart sink at the distant look on his face. However, she turned to him in astonishment when instead of bidding her a good night, he followed her into the room, entering her chamber for the first time since their wedding night.
Then he closed the door.
For a long moment, Matthew simply looked at her, his gaze gliding over her face, hesitation in his eyes as he seemed to be deciding whether or not to ask the question clearly torturing him. Running a nervous hand through his dark hair, he gritted his teeth. Then his eyes met hers for the first time since Bart had returned to her life. “How well do you know Mr. Bartholomew?”
Adelaide swallowed. “He is my brother’s friend.” Of course, Adelaide understood the hidden meaning behind such a simple question, and the little voice in her mind urged her to take this opportunity to share her secret, to finally tell the truth and heed her grandmother’s words.
And yet, Adelaide could not for her memories brought forth an image of Tillie laughing and playing, her husband by her side, his own face showing the same happiness as hers. What would happen if she told him? Would Tillie be robbed of the only happy family she had ever known?
“Is he your friend as well?” her husband asked, his brows drawn as he fixed her with watchful eyes, doubt shining only too clearly in them.
Adelaide shook her head. That much at least was true. Bart had never been her friend.
Still, her answer did not seem to satisfy him or put him at ease. Instead, Matthew began pacing, once more running his hands through his hair. “I felt like an outsider tonight,” he confided, pain in his voice that felt like a stab to Adelaide’s heart. “The way you spoke to each other, the way he looked at you…” Shaking his head, he all but glared at her. “It seemed he knew you in a way I never would. What did you share with him that you won’t share with me?”
Stopping, he inhaled a deep breath, then crossed the small distance between them. “I’ve known for a while that there is something you’re keeping from me, and I’ve told myself to be patient. I’ve told myself that you would share it once I’d proved myself trustworthy to you.” Looking defeated, he sighed. “I’ve done what I could, and yet, you’ve never said a word. Was it not enough? What could be so bad that you cannot tell me?” His gaze hardened. “Does he know? Bartholomew? Did you confide in him? Does he…?”
Adelaide felt her heart hammer in her chest as she looked up at her husband’s pained face. His gaze held hers, urging her to confide in him now. “What are you asking?” Adelaide mumbled, needing him to say it, unable to find the courage to do so on her own.
Matthew swallowed, then gritted his teeth as though in pain. “Are you…are you having an affair with him? With Bartholomew?”
Adelaide felt her jaw drop at his accusation. “Do you truly believe I would be unfaithful to you?” she stammered, feeling her head begin to spin. Never would she have expected him to think this. She had only ever feared he would discover her secret. Her mind had been so focused on it that she had not seen this coming.
“How can I not?” Matthew snapped, his hands balling into fists as he once more began to stride around the room. “There is clearly something between you. Some kind of…confidence. Something you won’t share with me.” Halting in his step, he suddenly froze, his eyes widening before he closed them in resignation. Shaking his head, he mumbled, “I’m such a fool. I should never have…”
Inhaling a deep breath, he looked at her once more. “I know our marriage was not a love match, and I should not put any expectations on you that you cannot fulfil. You married me to be safe from your father. We both knew that,” he said as though to remind himself. “I cannot blame you if you lost your heart to another. After all, you never promised it to me.” His head sank, and the misery he felt was so clearly written on his face that Adelaide could no longer bear the distance between them.
Her feet carried her closer, and her hands gently cupped his cheeks, lifting his head so that he would look at her. “I promise I am not having an affair with Bart or anyone else. Please believe me.”
Although she detected a hint of relief in her husband’s gaze, she could feel his muscles harden under the tips of her fingers. “Bart?” he repeated, jerking his head away. “He called you Addy! You asked me not to call you that, but when he does it, it’s fine?”
Adelaide drew in a sharp breath. “He did know me as a child,” she tried to explain, feeling her pulse thudding in her neck. “Back then, I was Addy. And no, I do not care for him calling me that now. However, he did not ask, and I was too shocked at seeing him. I−”
“Do you care for him?” her husband demanded, suddenly stepping toward her and cutting off her words.
Adelaide flinched, and yet, she held her ground, her gaze not dropping from her husband’s. “I do not,” she said calmly, enunciating each word.
Matthew exhaled sharply, the tension on his face dissipating. “But you’re keeping something from me.”
Adelaide sighed, then nodded. “I am, but I’m not having an affair. Neither have I lost my heart to Bartholomew or anyone other than y−” Her voice broke off when she realised what she was about to say, her gaze dropping to the floor as heat flooded her cheeks.
Barely an arm’s length away, she heard her husband inhale a deep breath, his body trembling with deep emotions. Then his arm moved, and she could feel his fingertips gently grasping her chin. As he began tilting her head upward, Adelaide closed her eyes, unable to meet his.
“Look at me,” her husband whispered, his voice practically pleading, and she found herself unable to deny him anything. “Do you care for me?” he asked gently, almost fearfully as his green eyes held hers.
Adelaide inhaled a slow breath, feeling her skin tingle where his fingers rested on her chin. “I do,” she whispered, afraid to grant him such power over her, and yet, unable not to. Whether he knew how she felt about him or not did not matter. All that mattered was that she did feel for him, and that alone gave him the power to hurt her. She could only hope that he
would not, that her trust in him would be rewarded.
A soft smile came to his face at her words. “I care for you as well,” he whispered back. “I have for a long time.” Then his gaze drifted lower, touching her lips.
Adelaide found herself holding her breath as his words brushed over her like a warm summer breeze, and yet, it was the look in his eyes that made her stomach flip and sent heat through her body.
“Will you grant me a kiss?” he asked finally! −as his other arm came around her middle pulling her closer into his embrace.
Adelaide sighed, feeling herself shiver with anticipation, and yet, she heard herself ask, “Why now? I’ve wondered when you would ask me, but why now?” A part of her deep down berated her for ruining the moment and postponing−if not preventing−the kiss. Had she not waited long enough?
A teasing grin came to her husband’s face, the kind that riled her, and yet, made her feel safe. “Because just now, you openly defied me,” he said, a touch of pride in his voice despite the accusation she knew his words to be. “You stood your ground and answered me without bowing your head.” He sighed, “You did not look at me with fear in your eyes as you did before. Reject me now if you do not want me to kiss you. I have no doubt that you would do so…should you wish to.”
Adelaide swallowed, feeling a tentative smile claiming her lips. “I do not.”
Her husband’s eyes narrowed. “You do not what?”
“I do not wish to reject you,” she clarified, heat once more rising to her cheeks. Still, never in her life had Adelaide felt more daring, more in control.
Her husband smiled, and she could see the joy and relief over her answer plainly on his face.
Her body yearned to be closer, and when Matthew’s arm around her tightened, pulling her toward him, she went gladly. Her lips began to tingle with anticipation, and she closed her eyes as he lowered his head to hers.
His kiss was gentle, but full of passion. Still, beyond all, it made her feel safe and whole and at ease. In that moment, Adelaide knew that her heart now belonged to him and that there was nothing she could do to get it back…even should she wish to.
And to say so would be a lie.
And Adelaide did not want to add that to the secret she already kept from him.
One day, he would find out. That was inevitable, but what then?
Oh, if only she was not such a coward!
Chapter Twenty-Nine – A Threat
The following morning, Matthew woke with a smile on his face.
Try as he might, he could not remember the last time that had happened. Not merely the absence of dread and loneliness, but true joy and the urge to jump out of bed to be with the people in this house. Although he had always loved his mother dearly even as a child, Matthew had seen her misery and had felt restrained in his ways towards her. His little cousins had been great playmates at first, but his father had soon found ways to drive a wedge between them, stoking Matthew’s displeasure about how much attention Tristan received…even when it was in the form of reprieves and lectures.
There had always been a dark cloud.
And there was one even now.
As wonderful as Matthew felt that morning remembering the previous night when he had shared a most wonderful kiss with his wife, he could not deny that there was still something standing between them. After all, she had flat-out admitted that to him, confirming that there was a secret she did not dare share with him.
Matthew had been tempted to take things further the previous night, loving the way she had responded to his touch, to his words, how she had reciprocated, the way she had held his gaze, proud and honest. Still, after their kiss, he had bid her a good night and retired to his own room, knowing that they still had a little way to go before all between them was resolved. He had been patient this long. He could be patient a little longer.
After all, she was worth it.
He did not doubt that.
Not for a second.
And yet, he wondered. What could be so awful a secret that she did not dare share it with him? Not after the way they had gotten closer over the past few weeks?
Matthew had believed her when she had sworn she was not having an affair with Bartholomew, and yet, he could not shake the feeling that there was more to the story than his wife had chosen to share. If she was not having an affair with the man, then what had happened between them?
Unlike her father and brother, Adelaide had always had a sparkling clean reputation. Not even the escapades of the men in her family had been able to taint the way people looked at her. Could she truly have a dark secret? If so, how had she managed to keep whatever it was hidden? Or was her secret of only minor consequence, but considering the woman Adelaide was, she still believed it to be of shocking nature?
After tossing and turning in bed for a while longer, Matthew finally rose and headed downstairs to breakfast. Even before he strode through the door, he could hear Tillie’s sweet little voice, prattling on in the way she usually did when she was excited.
The moment he stepped through the door, Matthew felt his heart jump at the sight that met him. His family−his mother, wife and…child, for all intents and purposes−sat around the breakfast table, their eyes shining and laughter spilling out of their mouths as the two women listened with rapt attention to the little girl’s narration of how she planned to catch the robin she had spotted in their garden the previous day.
It was a sight Matthew had always longed for growing up. A sight he had always hoped for once he had begun thinking of his own future and family. A sight he had feared he would never find in his own home.
He was a fortunate man indeed, and he would have been perfectly happy…if it were not for his wife’s secret.
Still, the moment his wife looked up and their eyes met, Matthew did not feel reminded of the gulf between them or the secrets that kept them apart. No, he felt reminded of the previous night when he had drawn her into his arms and kissed her, when they had admitted that they cared for each other.
The slight blush that came to her cheeks and the way she momentarily averted her gaze told him that she, too, thought only of what connected them. Nothing else.
It gave Matthew hope that in time they would put even her secret behind them.
Meeting his gaze once more, Adelaide smiled, “Please join us. I’m afraid we’ve already begun. Someone was quite famished this morning.” Her gaze slid to Tillie, who grinned at him with a mischievous sparkle in her eyes.
“You’re late,” the girl commented. “But I saved you some bacon.”
Sighing with joy, Matthew slid onto his chair. “That is very sweet of you, Tillie. And you’re right. I was late. I couldn’t bring myself to get out of bed this morning.”
“Did you dream something nice?” Tillie enquired excitedly, hoping for a good story.
For a second his gaze darted to his wife as she had been the only one on his mind last night. The way her jaw dropped ever so slightly, and she quickly turned her attention back to her plate told him that she had become very much aware of that. Still, the way her eyes kept returning to meet his suggested that she did not mind.
“I’m afraid not,” Matthew told Tillie. “I slept like a log. But what about you? Any fascinating dreams?”
A large grin came to the girl’s face. “I dreamed of a large doll. She was as tall as Addy.” Her blue eyes drifted to Adelaide. “She looked like her, too.”
Matthew laughed, “I bet such a large doll would be difficult to carry around, wouldn’t she? And to take out on strolls?”
Thoughtful, Tillie put a little finger to her mouth. “That’s true,” she decided. “I guess I don’t need such a large doll.” A grin came to her face. “I’ve got Addy, and she can walk on her own and hug me and laugh and tickle me and even carry me.”
Matthew smiled. “I agree. Adelaide is much better than any doll.”
A serious look on her young face, Tillie nodded. “Much better.”
Shaking h
is head, Matthew looked at the little girl, taken with the simple joy children brought to one’s life, and judging from the silent smirks on the two women’s faces, they were thinking the same thing.
It was a wonderful morning. Pleasant and simple, and yet, extraordinary.
The next few days passed in the same manner, and Matthew could feel them all slipping into more and more of a family routine, chatting over meals, spending time in the gardens, reading in the library before supper and going for strolls in the afternoons. Mostly, they were all together, even his mother loved to accompany them whenever Tillie decided it was time to take one of her dolls outdoors for a little fresh air. The little girl’s happiness was contagious, and soon Matthew began to wonder how he could have ever lived without her. He finally understood−with his heart, not his mind−how his wife had to have felt when she had been separated from Tillie upon their marriage.
Adelaide, too, seemed to be more at ease these days. Although it had been a while since he had seen actual fear in her eyes, she still seemed at odds every now and then as though she was not quite certain what to make of the happiness that had found them so unexpectedly. And Matthew had no doubt that she was happy. The way she smiled and laughed often took his breath away, and he realised how much he had come to depend on his wife being by his side.
The moment she stepped into a room, he felt her presence like a warm breeze. When she smiled at him, her eyes aglow like two stars in the night sky, his insides quivered with excitement, and Matthew no longer had any doubt that they had been meant to find each other. It was as though they completed each other, the people they were; the lives they had lived had made them more than simply suitable for one another. It felt to Matthew as though they were two halves of a whole, and only when she was near, did he feel complete.
It was a strange sensation. One he had never felt before.
One afternoon, they all sat together having tea with Tillie and her dolls. Matthew had been granted the seat of honour next to Tillie’s favourite doll, a dark-haired girl that Tillie swore resembled Adelaide…although he could not see it.
