Define Trying...

by Bronsen Hawkins

  ****

   

  Daisy hated being late to the schools social events. It made her look bad. It made The Queens look bad. Two more doors and she was home free. Two more doors and she would have been safe.

  “Hey beautiful.” Wes called as he slid in front of Daisy.

  “Dang.” Daisy whispered to herself.

  Wesley Jason was the pinnacle of sliminess. He didn’t care who you were, where you were from, and sometimes what you had. Whatever he felt, he went with it. Classic good looks didn’t make him any less deadly or any more humble. His signature beanie covered up his neatly groomed hair. Embedded on it, was a upside down crown, deemed the twisted crown by anyone who knew Wes.  He was used to getting what he wanted, and rarely heard a complaint. Not until Daisy.

  “What do you want Wes?” Daisy asked as she tried to push past him.

  “You.” Wes cooed at her.

  “How sweet, now could you please move I’m already late?”

  “Aww, but I miss you. Haven’t you missed me?”

  “Hardly.” Daisy sneered. She was getting really angry. “You should be going. I’m sure Laci is missing her lap dog.”

  “Body shots, now that’s the D I know and love.” Wes said. He loved it when Daisy got feisty. Almost more than he loved being ordered around by Laci.

  “I’m not that girl anymore. I’m not going back to that.” Daisy whispered out. Wes was doing it again; he was turning her into a monster.

   Wes moved closer to her. The smell of mint on his breath was making the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. He always had this effect on her. Daisy knew that Wesley was forbidden. She knew that any move against him was a full on act of war against Laci. She wasn’t going to play that card. Wes however was a wild on. You never truly knew where his allegiance fell.

  “You already are,” He whispered in her ear. Her body tingled with ever word. She hated him. She hated the effect he had. She hated that he seemed to hold a special interest in her.

  And as if something wanted things to go from bad to worse, Breslin walked up to the spectacle. Some smelly cologne wearing, polo shirt sporting jock. Breslin didn’t want to see Daisy fighting with Laci. But he really didn’t want to see some guy whispered sweet nothings into her ear. Her face was hard to read, but through the confusion he could see that she enjoyed it. And Breslin knew a little something about body language, he was fluent in it. Not his own, but he always knew how other people felt.

  Daisy looked up and saw Breslin standing there. “Could this day get any worse?” She murmured to herself.

  “Smile.” Wes said as he brushed her hair out of her face. By this time Breslin had turned to walk away.

  Before she had time to react to Wesley, he was already kissing her. And before she could shove him off a flash went off behind her.

  “Get off me.” She screamed as she finally was able to push Wes aside. She wanted to deal with Wesley now, but she had to find Breslin first.

  Chasing Breslin isn’t as hard as it sounds. He isn’t making a huge scene. He isn’t screaming down the halls. He is just sitting in the library, reading. Not the first reaction Daisy was going for, but she wasn’t in the position to be looking a gift horse in the mouth.

  “Hi.” Daisy said as she sat down next to Breslin.

  Breslin was shaking, probably because of the temperature of the library but it was most likely because of Wes.

   “Breslin it wasn’t what it looked like.” Daisy said after a long pause.

  “Ok.”

  This answer threw Daisy for a loop. Breslin wasn’t doing anything by the book. He was supposed to be mad. He was supposed to yell. And in time, he was supposed to get over it.

  “Um, ok?” She asked. She wasn’t sure what to do next.

  “Ok.” Breslin continued.

  “So you’re not mad?”

   “No.”

  “Are you sure? You’re shaking.”

  One word answers were never good. She needed to get him talking.

  “So how was the movie, I’m sorry I’m so late.”

  “Fine.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes!” Breslin screamed back.

  “Why are you so angry?” Daisy asked, while trying to put her hand on his.

  Breslin moved away from her. “Trust me, were fine.”

  “And what is your definition of fine?”

  “Look!” Breslin snapped at her. He was speaking more than one word now. “Were not a couple, were not together. You’re a free woman; you can do whatever you want. So if you want to be with him than just be with him.”

  Before Daisy could respond, Breslin got up from the table they were sitting at and moved towards the door. He knew he didn’t want this. Eric had been right all along.

  “But I don’t want him.” Daisy screamed. The library was empty, but she still felt that all eyes were on her.

  “Great,” Breslin whispered as he headed out of the door.

  He didn’t feel like dealing with Daisy and her drama. He just got out of a situation that put him through hell. With a girl that put him through hell. That was the very last thing he wanted.

  “Wait.” Daisy gasped out, if she wasn’t crying before she was crying now. She knew that Laci had something to do with Wes cornering her in the hall. That was too organized of a strike to say it was an accident. Daisy wanted to get back at her, and right now it seemed like she had nothing to lose.

   

   

  “Dude where have you been?” Eric asked

  “I’m going home.” Breslin said as he shot past Eric, shoving his camera into his chest.

  “Dude.” Dex said as he caught up to Breslin.

  “Save it.” Breslin said. “I’ll talk about it tomorrow.”

  And with that he shoved his way out of the front door. He didn’t know how he was going to get home. But he would rather walk home than stay here.

  It’s easier to run.

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

  Head On

   

  “Nobody said it was easy, nobody said it would be this hard…”

  The Scientist by Coldplay

   

   

  “…and we just move on.” Conner said as he placed his helmet on his head. By now Conner had already gotten the memo. Play well, the jocks leave you alone. And Conner liked being left alone.

  “I don’t think it’s that simple.” Breslin replied, nonchalantly. He was too busy flicking through his pictures to care about whatever Conner was saying.

  It had been at least a week since he had spoken to Daisy, and he couldn’t get her out of his mind. He had to find something, someone to take his mind off of her. That was the whole reason he was at Conner’s football game. Take some nice pictures, meet some nice cheerleaders. Either way, he wasn’t going to be thinking about her.

  “Well we can talk about this later,” Conner said as he stood up. “It’s show time.”

  Following behind the team, Breslin adjusted his earphones. Noise cancellation was a dream come true. He never liked sporting events, and he didn’t need to hear in order to take great shots. Conner on the other hand only truly felt at home on the field. And as he stepped out into the place that held most of his most precious memories, he knew it was the only place he could tru
ly be himself. The Clearveil Football stadium roared with excitement as the football team came marching in. Of course the fans weren’t as excited at Conner as they were at Jack.

  Jack Gunn, the head quarterback, was undefeated on the field. Jack smiled at the cheerleaders, shook hands with his fans, and controlled his team with ease. He was the natural born leader that everyone loved to follow. However, Breslin could clearly see his nasty attitude that he tried to mask with confidence. Or maybe it was just Breslin being bitter about Daisy. It wouldn’t be too off since he couldn’t go a few sentences without thinking about her or mentioning her name. He had to get over her.

  “Do you see Eric; he was supposed to be doing this job.” Breslin said to Conner as he began to scan the crowd. No Eric, just a bunch of screaming fans.

  “Still don’t see him.” Conner replied. He knew Eric wasn’t the type of guy to just blow a person off. That just wasn’t how he operated. But what he did see, all cozy in a corner, was Shane kissing Natalie.

  He thought if he just ignored them that it would all just go away. But all the school seemed to talk about was him pouring his heart out. Ninth graders though it was a bold move. Tenth graders couldn’t stop laughing. His classmates really thought he had finally lost his mind. And the seniors, well the seniors have seen worst.

  “Still thinking about the Romeo incident?” Jack said as he walked up to Conner.    

  “I don’t think that was my best decision.” Conner replied as he surveyed the field.

  “That wasn’t your best play.” Jack said, as he shifted his attention to his coach “But think of the silver lining, now you can use this anger as fuel.”

   “I try not to let my anger control me.” Conner shrugged as he began to walk away.

  “Not control, just take it out on them.” Jack said while pointing to the other team.

  “Fine.”

  As Jack stepped onto the field the crowd went nuts. He scoped out the situation and when he spoke his voice boomed in the ears of all that could hear him.

  “Listen guys, we are here to do one thing and one thing only, win! So I don’t want to hear any excuses or any complaining. We are going to fight and we are going to bust our butts until I get tired. So what are we?”

  “Chameleons!” The whole team cheered.

  “I can’t hear you!” Jack screamed.

  “Chameleons!” The team yelled even louder.

  “Then let’s get it.”

  Conner began to walk away when he was stopped by Jack.

  “Alright Lombard, I’m throwing to you” he said as he adjusted his helmet.

  “Wait what, why?” Conner replied, confused and bewildered.

  “Because.” He started as he looked down upon Conner. “I’m trying to let you get some of that frustration out.”

  So with the game started, Jack snapped the ball and held it at the ready. One of the players broke through the line and went to tackle Jack, but was immediately cut off by Mac Austin. Being more than just a muscle bound jock, Mac was devastatingly smart and had connections to everything you could imagine. Thus making him a force to be reckoned with on and off the field and Jack’s right hand man.

  Taking a step back Jack fired the ball to Conner who was already in motion. And it was in that moment that it seemed like everything slowed down with the ball coming right for him. And in the miracle of the moment, he caught it. His feet spun around and he took off. The 50, the 40, the 30, he was almost there.

   Conner had never really done anything fantastic on the field. And even when he attempted to he was always over shadowed by Jack. However, in this moment he could almost hear his name being called over the P.A. system in the morning for his excellent performance. He could almost see the crowd cheering him on. He saw how he could use this as leverage to try to make Natalie his. He wanted to see the look on Natalie’s face as he got closer to the end zone.

   As Conner looked over, his whole world crashed. Natalie wasn’t paying attention to him, but Shane was. And he was smiling. Whatever, he had seen this before. But this distraction was enough for the defense to catch up to him.

   “That’s it Conner, keep going!” the crowd shouted in the stands.

  “Conner’s something else.” Breslin whispered to himself as he continued to report on the game for the newspaper.

  “He better not screw this up,” Jack said as he watched the play in anticipation.

  Conner felt like nothing matter. No matter what he did or what approach he took it was futile. Natalie was with Shane. And then number thirty three slammed into him. Crashing into the ground he fumbled and gave it right to the opposing team who was able to run the ball back for a touchdown because Conner’s whole team was still trying to figure out how he let them catch up to him. Only the third play in the game and they were already down 7 points on a fumble. When Conner finally stood up and dusted himself off he realized the whole crowed was yelling and screaming at him. Even the cheerleaders had looks of disgust.

  “Dude almost made it,” Breslin thought to himself while shaking his head and trying not to laugh.

  “He has totally screwed us.” Coach said as he shook his head.

  “I’m going to kill him!” Jack yelled. “Conner, get over here!”

  Conner slowly walked over to Jack who looked furious.

  “Are you serious, are you pulling my chain here? You call that running.” Jack yelled at him. In all honesty, he wasn’t really that mad. A simple mistake that could easily be fixed. But coach was ticked, so he had to show no mercy.

  “Look Jack, I’m so sorry. It was my mistake.” Conner uttered as he tried to defend himself. “I just got distracted, my bad. It was my mistake.”

  “No, it was my mistake for believing in you in the first place, you’re benched.”

  “You don’t have the power to do that, you’re not the coach” Conner screamed back, furious.

  “The hell I do.” Jack shot back.

  Jack really didn’t care about this situation as much as he let on. But he had to keep the fans happy, and the fans wanted Conner out of the game.

  “Oh, I’m sorry, am I making you upset” Jack whispered.

  “No, I’m fine.” Conner spat out fast, while trying to humble himself.

  Cracking a devilish grin on his face, Jack slowly moved closer to Conner. “Well then go sit your butt on the bench!”

  Conner didn’t look at Jack and decided to just leave the game all together. He saw Jack as a mentor, somebody he could look up to. And the second he messes up Jack just flips out on him.

  “Saw the play, man that was brutal.” Breslin said as he walked up to Conner on the outside of the stadium.

  “Yea, brutal.” Conner agreed.

  “Why don’t we just go get some pizza or something?” Breslin offered. He wanted to get Conner as far away for the school as possible. Right now, Conner seemed like the only person who would truly listen to him.

  “Aren’t you supposed to be covering for Eric?” Conner asked.

  “Eh, I’ll get somebody else to cover the game.” Breslin said with a smile as he disappeared back into the stadium.

  A slow smile appeared on Conner’s face.