Retch was staring at the raft.At the same instant in final desperation, he jumped. His clutchingfingers caught the edge of the rubber raft. Like a frightened river rat,he pulled himself out of the water.
* * * * *
Treading water, Parker dragged Mercedes to the edge of the raft. Retchleaned over and lifted her in. For an instant, Parker remained in thewater, his fingers firm on the raft, letting it support him while hegasped air into his lungs. Behind him, with a gurgle and a rumble, thehelicopter sank. He swung himself into the raft. Mercedes, her masculinegarb clinging to her, was sitting up.
"I am sorry, Beel," she said. "I get the scare up and I grab at you. Inot know for sure what I am doing. You will forgive me, no?"
"Think nothing of it," Parker answered. "Anybody can get scared underthese circumstances."
"That I know," she answered. "But you saved my life. And that I willremember."
"Forget it," Parker said. "I did what had to be done, nothing more."
"But I will remember it," she calmly repeated.
Parker was silent. Under her hardness for the first time he glimpsedsomething deeper, finer. She was the type who meant what she said. Shewas a woman who paid her debts. Under other circumstances.... Parker putthe thought out of his mind.
Now he set about doing what had to be done--paddling to the island. Heturned his eyes toward it.
The island was gone. Calm, serene, the level face of the sea stretchedaway to the horizon.
Fear, dark, sudden, and overwhelming, arose in Bill Parker. The fear didnot come up just because the face of the sea was level and calm, theisland not visible, but because of something else, something that he hadforgotten, something that he had put out of his mind and out of hislife. Could it be possible that--
He caught himself. In that direction lay madness. Words exploded out ofhim. "Hey, what the hell? Am I nuts? What became of that island? I sawit!"
"I told you we had to hurry to get there when we saw it." Retch washesitant. "It's--it's not always there."
"But it's got to be there! I saw it!"
"There is a trick about that island," Retch said. "I--it--I--you don'talways see it. Something funny."
Parker was across the shaking, unsteady raft. His impulse was to takeRetch by the throat, to shake words out of him. "What do you mean?" Hewas restraining himself with difficulty.
Retch spread his hands. "I'm sorry, I can't explain. That's all I know.Believe me."
Retch was telling the truth Parker decided. The big pilot swung his gazein every direction, searching for land. Somewhere in the far distancewas the peninsula of Lower California. But it was beyond range of hiseyes. As far as he could see, was barren water.
Setting his course by the small compass that was included as part of thestandard equipment on the life raft, Parker paddled toward the south.The clumsy raft made little progress. Parker hardly noticed, hardlycared. Deep in his mind was a lurking thought he was trying to keepbelow his consciousness.
In the front of the raft, Retch sat with his back to Parker. FromRetch's motions, Parker knew the man was cleaning his gun. Parker madeno comment. When Retch had finished and had turned back to him, Parkerspoke. "I want to know a little more about that island. How does ithappen we can't see it?"
"I'm not certain," Retch answered. "I think it's a lot like the miragesyou see on the desert. This island is something like that, only inreverse. In a mirage, you see something that doesn't exist. In the caseof this island, you _don't_ see something that _does_ exist."
"Um," Parker said, then was silent. The explanation sounded reasonableenough, as far as it went. The trouble was it didn't go far enough, notnearly far enough to quiet the thought lurking deep in the big pilot'smind. He worked with the paddle. "When you hired me to fly you downhere, you told me that you knew where this island was located but youdidn't tell me it had a bad habit of vanishing."
"I didn't believe it myself," Retch answered. "So far as I wasconcerned, it was just a wild rumor."
"Um," Parker said again. As he spoke, part of the thought that he hadbeen keeping buried in his mind came blasting to the surface. "She saidit was a mirage too!" he blurted out the words. "And that goddamned Dr.Yammer--" He caught himself. Into his mind had come a vision of a womanhe had once known, and a psychiatrist called Dr. Yammer. Pain crossedhis face.
"What?" Retch asked. "Who are you talking about?"
"Nobody," Parker answered. "Just a woman I once knew."
Her name had been Effra. Effra of the Green Eyes, he had called her.Rigidly he forced the thought of her from his mind, forced himself tothink of what Retch had said. But it was no good. His mind kept goingback to Effra and Yammer.
"She is caught, trapped in a net of delusion and hallucination that isas solid as a block of steel," Dr. Yammer had once said, his voiceprecise with authoritarian certainty. "I cannot get her out of thissteel block unless I hospitalize her, perhaps operate. There is no otherchoice, no other decision that can be made. Putting it bluntly--she isinsane. A delicate thing, insanity. We still work in the dark withthings of the mind."
* * * * *
At the memory of Yammer's words, Parker twisted uncomfortably. He usedthe paddle much more vigorously than was necessary. It was as ifYammer's face showed in the water into which he thrust the paddle.
Mercedes was studying Parker. "About this woman--"
"She was just a woman I once knew."
"You loved her, yes?"
"Well--" Parker was silent.
"Tell me what 'appened."
"Nothing," Parker said. "Oh, hell--all right. Up in LA three years ago Iknew Effra. She was a pilot too, and we got to running around together.She liked to fly out over the Pacific all by herself. I don't know why;she just liked to flirt with danger, maybe. One time she came in acouple of hours over-due. Figuring she was down in the drink, I wasabout to rouse out the Navy to hunt for her when she came in." Hepaused.
Mercedes was silent. In the front of the raft, Retch said nothing. Hiseyes were still searching the skyline.
"She was wildly excited," Parker went on. "She said she had made aforced landing on an island somewhere off the coast of Southern Cal. Shealso said there were a lot of strange people living on the island." Heshook his head. There was a feeling in him he did not like.
His eyes came to focus on a ripple in the water. A shark. It made himthink of Dr. Yammer.
"What 'appened then?" Mercedes asked softly.
"I helped her look for the island," Parker said. "We spent monthslooking in our spare time. We flew over more ocean than I ever knewexisted. But we didn't find it."
"No?"
"That island was awfully important to her. She thought somethingwonderful was there, what it was, she could not tell me, just that itwas there. When we could not find it, she began to doubt herself, tothink perhaps she had not seen it, that she had not landed there. Shereached the conclusion then--well, she went to see one of these fancymental specialists who know everything about nothing and nothing aboutanything."
Under the water, he could see the eyes of the shark. They reminded himof the expression in Dr. Yammer's eyes, except that the shark's eyeslooked more honest.
"And then?" Mercedes said, very softly.
"She--vanished," Parker said. "Yammer was going to stick her into ahospital, use something that he called 'shock' on her, maybe operate.She ran away."
"Did you try to find her, Beel?"
"For asking that question, Mercedes, I ought to choke you!" Parker saidhotly. "I hunted high and low. All we knew for certain was that herplane was missing. I think she decided she would simply fly out to thesea she loved, and never come back." Again his voice sank to a whisperas he visualized Effra of the Green Eyes flying out over this wildernessof waters.
"I am sorry, Beel," Mercedes said gently. "Will you remember one thing,Beel?"
"Sure. What is it?"
"You saved my life back there. I will not forget it. If the time
evercomes, I will pay my debt."
"Thank you," Parker said. "But there is no debt."
"You think this island we are hunting might be the same island your girlclaimed she found?" Retch spoke from the front end of the boat.
"And if it is the same island?" Mercedes said.
Anger came boiling up in Parker. "If it is that island, and if I everget back to Los Angeles, I am going to hunt up a psychiatrist by thename of Yammer and take care of him!" Parker dug the water savagely.Gradually, his anger
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